Does anyone else struggle with a partner who eats unhealthily?

TavistockToad

chelseathinspired wrote: »

I don't have a partner, but I live with my recently divorced mother. She got a lap band in 2009. She struggles with eating and exercise. I do find it difficult to stay on track when she constantly eats junk and buys me junk, knowing that I am trying to be healthier. I don't expect it to not be in the house. But if she buys me or brings me something specifically for just me that she doesn't like, I feel guilty if I don't eat it because it will go to waste. Or I want to spend time with her but she wants to eat out a lot at places that do not have nutrition online and do not really provide healthy options. Even though I've had discussions with her, it doesn't really fix it. I just try to buy healthier options for myself and try really hard to put my foot down and stick to it.

Maybe take it in turns to choose where you eat... that way occasionally you can eat whatever you want at a place your mum picks, and the rest of the time you can keep it calorie counted?

melesine

My husband eats horribly, potato chips, snack mixes, cookies, ice cream, beer and he has no portion control. His saving grace is being 6'4" but he has serious health issues and has for years. Ironically, I'm the one that's been very over weight and no health problems. He could use to lose 40 lbs though.

Luckily we don't share many of the same temptations and I'm much better now at portion control. I was shocked ( and I think he was too) when I weighed out how much of his snack mix equals a 1oz serving at 130 calories. It's tiny. He's somewhat better. But I don't cook him special meals. He's an adult and knows how to cook. Healthy food is always available, it's up to him to eat it or not. If he chooses to eat a thousand calories in snack mix for dinner, I can't stop him. And let me tell you, he has before.

There have been times when he's eaten a whole frozen pizza for dinner because I wasn't going to eat any of it. His decision.

jennybearlv

I do get annoyed that because of my husband's weight gain he snores so loud I'm unable to sleep in my own bed. His cardiovascular system is so weak he can't do fun things with me like go on a long hike or mountain bike.

Food though, not an issue. We both eat processed snacks and high fat dinners. I cook with lots of lard and butter, rice, mashed potatoes and gravy, and red meat. I watch my portions and lose weight just fine. I always make a veggie side with dinner and if my husband doesn't eat it it's his loss. I snack on fruit and veggies during the day along with my 100 calorie cookie packs, string cheese, and chocolate squares. I try to keep things in balance and am happy to know there are no such thing as bad our forbidden foods.

600-700 calories is a good amount of calories for dinner. There is no reason you couldn't eat a reasonable portion of take away or a couple slices of pizza with a side salad or steamed veggies. Adding frozen or in season whole veggies to a meal is cheap. No reason to feel like you need to be eating quinoa and kale to be healthy.

I think you are making this harder than it needs to be. Stop blaming your partner for your eating habits and take responsibility for yourself. Learning to say no to temptation and control portion sizes is a huge part of successful weight loss.

laurenebargar

My husband has actually always been the one to make healthier meals. So it was easy for me to suggest eating more vegetarian meals, and just less calorie dense foods. He does sometimes make me a plate that is way more than a serving but I just eat what I should and then put the rest in a container for lunch the next day. Hes always been at a good weight so it doesnt really matter about his portion sizes (right now) because he is pretty active. At first I thought if I entered what he ate during the day into MFP he would be surprised, it turns out I was surprised because he wasnt eating an insane amount of calories, he and I both were eating the same meals, but snacks and lunches are a main reason I put on so much weight, where are he doesnt really snack, and I would always have a cupcake or something for dessert, and if he had anything it might be a little chocolate or a fruit tarte.

Whenever he made suggestions previously I didnt pay any attention, I just kept doing what I was doing. He will come around if he decides he wants to lose weight. I probably wouldnt cook seperate meals though

HardcoreP0rk

I dont *struggle* but I would greatly prefer not having certain things in the house that he REQUIRES. I have decent willpower but would prefer to not have to face all the cookies and ice cream.

lgill1127

As the sole "chef" in the house, and the only one actively trying to lose weight and eat healthfully I totally resonate with your situation. Luckily, my boyfriend will eat some vegetables, but he has the palate of a 4 year old more often than not.

On nights where I may have had too large of a snack when I got home and am not hungry for dinner, I'll make him something that he likes and I won't touch (and that's easy!). Example: frozen orange chicken with rice and some random fridge vegetables that are hanging around (bell pepper, broccoli, onion). I'm not hungry and won't be tempted to eat any myself.

For nights we eat together, I'll try to make something that I know we BOTH like and I can manipulate to make healthy for me. Tacos for him, taco salad for me. Burrito bowls, but a smaller portion of rice or quinoa and add avocado instead of cheese for me. Whole wheat pasta with turkey meatballs and tomato sauce - but added spinach to mine (and weighed out pasta!). If he doesn't want a side salad, I'll add one to my plate and reduce the portion size of whatever else I'm eating.

On nights where I do NOT have the energy to cook, we'll order in from a place where we can both get what we want (teriyaki bowl for him, grilled chicken salad for me; beef burger and fries for him, turkey burger for me). Once a week, usually Thursdays after my two fitness classes, we'll meet up at one of our favorite places and I'll enjoy something not terribly healthy, but fits within my macros. I'll enjoy every bite and have zero regrets!

I also have a standing rule of no junk/things I can binge on in the house. If he wants chips/candy/snacks/soda that I don't keep in the house, he can run down to 7-11 himself. Thankfully we each take care of our own breakfast, lunch, and snacks so dinner is the only main sticking point.

JennJ323

My husband is relatively thin and can "eat whatever he wants" without gaining.. which is so frustrating. He also doesn't really care for anything healthy, and would live off pizza and spaghetti every day if I'd let him. During my weight loss journey I haven't really changed our eating habits, I've changed mine. I still make all the same dishes he (and I) like, but have cut way back on portions for myself and sneak in healthier options when I can (ground turkey instead of ground meat, whole wheat pasta, non fat greek yogurt instead of sour cream etc) and he never knows the difference. I weigh every thing and still enjoy all the same foods as him, just in smaller portions and am definitely more careful during breakfast and lunch (when I'm not with him) so I have most of my calories left for dinner in case the meal is a little heavier.

I'm 22lbs down and counting, only a few pounds from my goal!