Losing is difficult but not as difficult as maintaining what has been lost.

freespirit427

As my title says.

Ive been at this for the last 2 years and am steel bouncing from 20 to 30 lbs from my goal weight.

I am 5'3"
SW 230
CW 190
GW 160

I got down to 179, tried to maintain it for a few months and swelled back up to 190.

I will be honest. It is all me. I got laxed.

My question, how do you stay motivated for years on end to continue to push? I saw the scale down and it was my excuse to have a treat meal which turned into a treat day which turned into a treat weekend which is now turned into the 10 lb gain.

Meal prep, exercise, saying no to things i usually would tear into. It all works so well, but after 2 years and I'm still not where I want to be, I start questioning if maybe I need a break? A different plan? I'm just bored now.

What keeps you on track?

deannalfisher

honestly - I don't do treat meals/days etc - I plan fun foods that I like into my daily calories - chocolate, candy etc - it helps me stay focused

kommodevaran

Losing and maintaining are difficult in different ways. In maintenance, you can eat a little more, you can relax a little bit, but it can definitely feel as if you're doing the same job and getting nothing back. You still need to be vigilant and exert self control, and you won't be rewarded by the weekly drop on the scale, nobody comments on your great results anymore, maybe your body wasn't as "hot" as you imagined it would be... and having this as the outlook of your future, day in, day out, for the rest of your life... why should you bother??

But this IS the way it is. A normal weight and a normal way of life is normal. Normal lives have joys and sorrows, you say yes and no, you succeed and fail. Just like everybody else.

Your attitude determines how this is going to be. If you reward yourself for losing weight with overeating, you're just not doing it right. You can enjoy food and have a normal weight, but you can't consistently overeat and have a normal weight. Maybe you are doing lots of unnecessary things that aren't fun and just makes it impossible to do what you have to do? I don't meal prep or exercise. But I plan my meals with a goal to make them all delicious within a sensible amount of calories. I don't buy food I know I will overeat - for normal days, I cook my own meals, but for special occasions, I eat out of the house and whatever I want of what I'm offered. Because I don't deny/deprive myself, I don't overeat (like I used to) when I finally get my hands on something I like.

Maintaining weight takes an ongoing effort, but it's far, far from hopeless.

Old_Cat_Lady

Almost sounds like you did not log food while on maintenance. "Ongoing Effort" !!!

DX2JX2

The way that I'm looking at maintenance is that I still have to be on, but I don't have to be on all the time as I do during a loss period.

I have my maintenance target set about 10% below the theoretical calculation. I figure tracking and eating to this number as a general rule (the majority of the time) will help to give me some room for the occasional time when I don't really care about tracking or hitting targets.

But yes, most of us on the board will have to remain diligent even during maintenance. It's a natural tendency for many of us to lean on food in our daily lives and the only way for us to avoid a drift away from reasonable is to stay conscious of and on top of our numbers.

baconslave

kommodevaran wrote: »

Losing and maintaining are difficult in different ways. In maintenance, you can eat a little more, you can relax a little bit, but it can definitely feel as if you're doing the same job and getting nothing back. You still need to be vigilant and exert self control, and you won't be rewarded by the weekly drop on the scale, nobody comments on your great results anymore, maybe your body wasn't as "hot" as you imagined it would be... and having this as the outlook of your future, day in, day out, for the rest of your life... why should you bother??

But this IS the way it is. A normal weight and a normal way of life is normal. Normal lives have joys and sorrows, you say yes and no, you succeed and fail. Just like everybody else.

Your attitude determines how this is going to be. If you reward yourself for losing weight with overeating, you're just not doing it right. You can enjoy food and have a normal weight, but you can't consistently overeat and have a normal weight. Maybe you are doing lots of unnecessary things that aren't fun and just makes it impossible to do what you have to do? I don't meal prep or exercise. But I plan my meals with a goal to make them all delicious within a sensible amount of calories. I don't buy food I know I will overeat - for normal days, I cook my own meals, but for special occasions, I eat out of the house and whatever I want of what I'm offered. Because I don't deny/deprive myself, I don't overeat (like I used to) when I finally get my hands on something I like.

Maintaining weight takes an ongoing effort, but it's far, far from hopeless.

Exactly.





Going back to bad-ol' habits is going to get you back to where you started.

Maintaining is often like a seesaw. You get off that turd and one side goes up. So you either have to stay on to keep it level, or get back on the thing to force it back down. And if you get too comfortable/lazy then it will slowly go back up again (yup. I've done that one. 9.5lb to go to get it level again.)

Yup...ongoing effort.
But anything worth doing always takes at least some effort.

freespirit427

Thank you everyone for your input!

I do lean on food and during my strict days I tend to only do it because I want that ice cream at the end of the week which isn't just a scoop of plain ice cream, it's a big amazing sundae. Which I know sets me back but I've come to only work all week just for that. I understand it's the wrong reason to keep to my diet.

I tend to go all in or nothing at all. There is no medium for me. Is there a way to create that medium?

I stay active all day, 10k plus steps per day which I understand is nothing but it atleast gives me a goal to meet and a reason to continue to move.

I stopped my treadmill daily because my knees started to hurt again due to my weight gain.

I will keep plugging along each day.

animatorswearbras

Don't see it as something you have to be motivated to do just see it as a habit you have to maintain like brushing your teeth or paying your electricity bill or getting up for work, I'm not particularly excited or motivated to do these things most of the time, they're just part of my routine to maintain a level of hygiene and keep a roof over my head.

Quitting MFP completely for me is like quitting my job because I've paid off my credit card bill, it's just routine now so I will always be on here during maintenance, maybe not always as diligently as when I'm losing but I need it ticking in the background.

cwolfman13

I've been maintaining for about 4 years and 4 months and save for winter, I haven't had any issues. I maintain the same healthy habits in maintenance that I adopted when losing weight...I still eat well for the most part and I exercise regularly.

I don't log and haven't logged for my entire maintenance period...logging while losing weight taught me what and how I needed to eat to be successful long term. My diet consists largely of meals made at home using scratch or minimally processed ingredients. I eat out maybe once every week or two...I have treats here and there, but they don't make up a substantial part of my diet. I exercise in some manner or another 6-7 days per week...generally 4-5 days of cycling, 2-3 days of lifting, and some rock climbing with a bit of walking and yoga thrown in there for good measure.

This isn't a chore for me...I love to cook and prepare delicious and nutritious meals at home and most of my exercise is just recreational activity that I enjoy doing...my rides are typically at a conversational pace..I throw in a sufferfest now and then, but most of my rides are pretty moderate. Climbing is just fun.

The only difference between me losing and maintaining is a handful of calories...when/if I need to cut weight, the only real change in my diet is no grains or starches for most of my lunches and dinners...that's about it.

OliveGirl128

freespirit427 wrote: »

As my title says.

Ive been at this for the last 2 years and am steel bouncing from 20 to 30 lbs from my goal weight.

I am 5'3"
SW 230
CW 190
GW 160

I got down to 179, tried to maintain it for a few months and swelled back up to 190.

I will be honest. It is all me. I got laxed.

My question, how do you stay motivated for years on end to continue to push? I saw the scale down and it was my excuse to have a treat meal which turned into a treat day which turned into a treat weekend which is now turned into the 10 lb gain.

Meal prep, exercise, saying no to things i usually would tear into. It all works so well, but after 2 years and I'm still not where I want to be, I start questioning if maybe I need a break? A different plan? I'm just bored now.

What keeps you on track?

4 years, 3 months into maintenance here. My motivation comes and goes, but my commitment is rock solid and that's what keeps me on track, day in and day out, year after year.

I look at my weight management the same as I look at my marriage or being a mom. There's a lot of days where things are pretty sucky, but I get through them because I'm committed to be the best wife and mom that I can be. I always focus on the long term-I want to be that couple celebrating a 50th anniversary, and I want my kids to actually want to visit me in the old folks home Same with my weight management plan-I want to be that active 85 year old, blue haired woman who's still self-sufficient and is in good health. Many of the women in my family reach their late 80s, but always overweight/obese and riddled with health problems, (especially type 2 diabetes). Continuing to be a healthy weight will go a long way towards me beating that outcome!

yirara

I've managed it for two years including an international move with a completely different culture and food and one further more, both with about 2-3 weeks in a bed and breakfast without own cooking facilities. I worked fun food, candy and crisps into my allowance. Worked well by at first logging every day and then whenever I tried something new. Worked until I fell into an unrelated depression and found solice in crisps and kinder chocolate. No problem. I gained 8kg, and lost about 3 again. And I'm working on my depression.

jaymijones

In order to make it sustainable I had to stop looking at weightloss as it's own goal. When I lost the weight I wanted to lose I wouldn't be able to go back to living and especially eating the way I had been. I stopped looking at it as "losing weight," and started looking at it as a lifestyle change. I didn't want to be someone who averaged 1 large package of Oreos a day and didn't have the energy to walk my kid to the bus stop. I wanted to be the person who enjoyed life, and had energy. I want to be the little old lady who belongs to a walking group in the Mall every Saturday, with water aerobics on weekdays, eho still has the energy and vitality to keep up with life. I want to be the 80 year old lady who falls down and can still get back up on my own. The way I was going a few years ago I wasn't going to be that lady.

So weightloss was part of that goal, but only a very small part. The long term stuff, finding ways to enjoy being more active, learning how to enjoy fruits and vegetables, learning how to be satisfied with one piece of pie, or one slice of pizza. Those were where my real goals are, and I look at it as something that will take the rest of my life to achieve.

As for your immediate issue. Try slowing down your weight loss. Do a calorie deficit for a month followed by 1-2 weeks of maintenance. Make sure it's actual maintenance, not cheat weeks. Still track and stay active. Just increase your calories to maintain and don't eat more than that. The frequent breaks will help with the diet fatigue, and they will also help you prepare for the long term goal of maintaining your lifestyle changes.

AnnPT77

I tried to think of the weight loss phase as "maintenance practice". I didn't do anything during weight loss that I wasn't willing to continue forever, except for a moderate calorie deficit.

I did celebratory eating when it was appropriate, i.e. ate some birthday cake if I wanted it, and ate indulgently on those few-a-year holidays. I figured out that I could do that, as long as it was rare - it was not " cheating", not a slippery slope toward anything, didn't require any kind of emotional reaction - it was just a very unusual day.

If your happiness requires a weekly ice cream sundae, figure that out, too. Quite a few people work from a weekly goal, eating a little less than average most days, in order to eat a little more once a week or so. In maintenance now, I do. It covers a higher-than-normal restaurant meal, or an extra craft beer or two.

When goal approached, I added back calories in small increments, thinking mostly in terms of sharpening nutrition and satisfaction via small changes.

Adding 500 or 1000 all at once would've made me more likely to add some big, crazy, low-nutrient-density thing as a routine, which was not what I wanted. Daily mega-treats become no longer special. I enjoy them more if they're special. Devoting the former deficit calories mostly to tasty, nutritious things helps me feel better, more of the time. That's what I want.

In maintenance, I set a goal weight range, and I try to go back to a deficit for a while (like down to the bottom of the range) if over the top end for more than a fluctuation.

This is my 2nd year of maintenance. Things haven't been perfect. I gradually put on a few pounds (maybe 7?) over this last winter when less active, but I'm now gradually dropping them again (BMI is 22). So, not perfect, but pretty good.

Veganvibesss

My problem was I was still eating 1500 calories thinking it would cause weightloss and wondering why it stopped, It sounds stupid but I didn't realize at my weight to lose weight I should only be eating 1300 because my bmr is 1500. It use to be alot higher I didn't realize it could drop so much, so maybe your eating to much now that you've dropped weight and still eating the way you would as you were 10 20 pounds heavier trying to lose weight

kommodevaran

freespirit427 wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your input!

I do lean on food and during my strict days I tend to only do it because I want that ice cream at the end of the week which isn't just a scoop of plain ice cream, it's a big amazing sundae. Which I know sets me back but I've come to only work all week just for that. I understand it's the wrong reason to keep to my diet.

I tend to go all in or nothing at all. There is no medium for me. Is there a way to create that medium?

I stay active all day, 10k plus steps per day which I understand is nothing but it atleast gives me a goal to meet and a reason to continue to move.

I stopped my treadmill daily because my knees started to hurt again due to my weight gain.

I will keep plugging along each day.

There is a way to get rid of the all or nothing. It takes a deep and many-sided commitment, lots of time, practice and willingness.

• You have to understand the concepts, and their application to diet, lifestyle and body weight, of time, dosage and frequency. What you do most often and what you eat in the largest amounts, will have the most impact on your weight.
• You have to love yourself. Or at least like you. Liking yourself doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't work to improve yourself.
• When you like yourself, it feels natural to be kind to yourself. You have to take properly care of yourself. This doesn't mean allowing everything, always, in whatever amounts, but it doesn't mean never allowing yourself what you like and forcing yourself to eat things you hate or eat too little, either. It means saying yes and no, as often as possible based on good judgement, but also sometimes at a whim.
• You need to understand that not everything are what they seem. Something can feel easy, and good in the moment, but it's really not a good decision. Other things can feel difficult and painful, but it's not really dangerous or harmful. And that some things are just what they seem.
• Understand that everybody struggles. But what we choose to tell others, or even acknowledge to ourselves, may vary.
• Really really understand that over-restriction always leads to disinhibition. This is not a personal flaw, it's biology, and nothing you can or should do about it - except stop the overrestriction, of course.
• Moderate exercise is good. Exhausting yourself or hurting yourself is not better, it's bad.
• Understand that even though companies want to make money from you, you decide whether or not to buy.

Use whatever conceptual models you find useful. I tend to use the "bell curve", "yin&yang", remind myself "I don't put more soap in the dishwasher to make it wash faster" etc. Certain books have helped me, the works of Ellyn Satter, Yoni Freedhoff, Gretchen Rubin, Gillian Riley, Doug Lisle, Allen Carr and many others, and of course, the great community here on MFP has taught me a lot.