Why does everyone tell you what to do?

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  • svel713
    svel713 Posts: 141 Member
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    I think people are trying to be helpful. Like if you say you have stomach issues, they may say they've heard you should drink some tea, even if they never got to try it themselves.

    But it can be rough when people who haven't succeeded at weight loss tell you you're wrong when you've been maintaining forever. All you can do then is smile, nod, and swap the subject.
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
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    dragon_girl26 wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    This is where you learn to just smile, nod your head and say "okay, thanks", then move on. It's NEVER ENDING.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    It's true.
    3 to 4 years later I still get people asking what I did to lose weight. Then they don't like the answer, and tell me they're watching carbs/sugar/drinking shakes, etc. Good for them. I don't discuss it otherwise and I never give advice unless specifically asked for. It never ends well. Just smile, you do you, and they can do whatever their "expert" opinion is.

    Totally! I have a colleague who's doing keto. She can't eat that way forever and has gained 7 of the 36 pounds lost, since she started eating more carbs. She's going back on "the diet." She's been cycling on and off fad diets for years. (Not that I'm implying keto is a fad diet, but the way she's using it--as a diet and not a lifestyle change, makes it one.) HCG, paleo, Atkins, Weight Watchers, combos of different diets ... I just smile and nod. She asked me once and I told her. She had no interest. Her choice. Now she's got another colleague on "the plan." I just encourage them and keep doing my thing.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    "This isn't something I would like to discuss"

    I would just shut them down from the get go. There are some people in my life I will discuss diet/fitness with. But with most people it just derails into useless woo discussions that last foreverrrrr. Its up there with religion and politics on the list of things I prefer not to talk to aquantances about.
  • jaymijones
    jaymijones Posts: 171 Member
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    It mostly only bothers me when they're trying to sell me something. They don't always take no for an answer (I'm looking at you MLMs), and then I have to get blunt. I hate it when I have to get blunt.

    I know this works, I know I can sustain it for the long term. I have non desire to sell my firstborn off in order to afford expensive shakes and overpriced workout DVDs.
  • cass0314
    cass0314 Posts: 39 Member
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    Right there with ya. I'm down 21lbs in 8 weeks and feeling good about my progress, and I have people questioning why I chose calorie counting. What the heck does it matter?! It's working for me. I frequently tell folks that when they decide to lose weight, they can go vegan or jump on the Keto train if they want, but I'm doing what works for me and I'm making sure to eat enough to support my body's needs.
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,172 Member
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    I have a friend who has had success with the Paleo diet, and he encouraged me to try that. Another friend is doing low carb eating, and she encouraged me to do that. My sister-in-law tried to explain the point system that Weight Watchers uses. I just smile and say I'm glad they've found something that works for them. (And without saying anything to them, I'm sticking with MFP because it's working for me!)
  • gabriellejayde
    gabriellejayde Posts: 607 Member
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    drcathyc81 wrote: »
    15 lbs in 3 weeks? That's an awful lot. I do hope you're getting good nutrition. As far as the self-styled experts: Smile and say "For now this is working for me. I'm going to stick with it." Then change the topic!

    It is a lot, but it's not a crazy amount depending on how much the poster has to lose. A lot of people drop a significant amount in the first week of dieting (just as sometimes people lose nothing the first week). I've gone on 1200 calorie a day diets and lost 6lbs the first week, 4 the next, and 3 the next (and then it usually drops down to 2 per week).
    Daisyfields79... everyone, everywhere (even here) is going to tell you what you should be doing, even if whatever you're doing is working for you. and it is working for you! you're doing great.
    So... when someone gives you unwanted advice, just smile and say thanks and then keep on doing your thang. :)
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,384 Member
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    Human nature. Everyone thinks they're an expert. :D
  • imanibelle
    imanibelle Posts: 130 Member
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    But on a serious note, I've lost 60 lbs and am feeling better, but am being told eggs and oatmeal are bad for me lol.
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,172 Member
    edited August 2017
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    I think eggs are a perfect food, to be honest. I'm having a couple scrambled eggs with grated cheese for dinner. What a rebel I am!
  • nycstems
    nycstems Posts: 25 Member
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    daisyfields79 wrote: »
    It's really starting to driving me crazy, I've lost 15 pounds in just shy 3 weeks and people are starting to notice. They ask what I'm doing and I say I'm using this app and staying within the calories and stuff that it tells me to. Then they always have to put their 2 cents in, like oh you need to join a gym to do it properly, you not do that, it's bad for you, go on Atkins, way more protein, blah blah blah. Or oh 1 piece of cake will not hurt you, just have an ice cream cone. A few of these people telling me how to diet are not small themselves. Like 400 pounds so why am I going to listen to them or the ones telling me to eat junk are like a size 3. Seriously this is my life style change and I'm doing it the way that works for me, I mean 15 pounds in just under 3 weeks and I'm not feeling deprived. I eat 3 meals a day and snacks so I'm not starving myself, I'm walking everyday which I have not done on 20+ years. I can't eat ice cream because I'm not ready to yet, I'm a junk food addict and my life style change to kick my addiction to the curb has only just begun. They don't tell a crack head who's trying to quit, hey just do 1 line, it will not hurt, or the alcoholic trying to quit drinking, come on 1 beer will not hurt you because they know it will. Sorry rant over. I just need to vent.

    They're noticing the weight loss. Yay, for you!
  • VeronicaA76
    VeronicaA76 Posts: 1,116 Member
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    Because that's what people do. If something is working for you keep doing it. When someone gives you advice, listen to it: if it's helpful - keep it, not helpful, toss it. Don't worry about ranting, it's perfectly understandable. Also, fair warning, dropping a lot of weight causes negative ninnies (my personal nickname for them) to try to tell you how you can't do something, because they can't do it.
  • CiaIgle
    CiaIgle Posts: 72 Member
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    My 2 cents :smile:

    My case was really for Monty Python: I was losing around 10 kilos, my gym registration included a Nutritionist appointment. I took it and visited the specialist during my 3rd month (already 10 kilos down). Explain my process and the output: all I was doing was a waste of time, she prescribed the typical diet and handed it to me.

    I waste one hour of my time and nature all the wood paste used to create those two sheets of paper. At least I disposed 'em in the recycle bin :smiley:
  • elinordashed
    elinordashed Posts: 9 Member
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    First of all.. 15 lbs is a lot in 3 weeks, however, most people lose a lot in their first few weeks (then slow going) so enjoy It! Don't get down when you lose slower, OP!

    Secondly, I am currently overweight BUT when I had lost weight the first time, lots of ppl had advice, were concerned, had things to say... like backward comments which hurt my feelings at the time. People think they are helping but a lot of time, it is not helpful or can hurt you on your journey. Accept the compliments when you get them. Tell the well meaners that you appreciate the advice or whatever, but drop it like its hot. Family is harder (isn't it always...). It depends on your fam. If your mom or whoever gives you grief, and that person is a deterrent say emotionally for your eating, please draw a line in the sand with them now. It will only get harder as you stick to your goals, lose more weight, and start feeling empowered. Say thank you, Mom/blah, but this is working for me. I promise I am being healthy. I talked to a dr. I am meeting my nutritional goals. Thanks for supporting me. This is hard. I need you. ETC!!

    I hope it gets easier but imo, it only gets harder. Don't let them get ya down. Stay strong.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    edited August 2017
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    Most people ask me for advice because it's hard to advise somebody who is sucessful without looking silly at the same time.

    The only way for people to stop telling what to do is by correctly training specific to your goal/sport or for you to stop paying attention to the unsolicited advice.
  • Sp1tfire
    Sp1tfire Posts: 1,120 Member
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    Keep it going you ROCK!!!

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