Is this time for real?

susanayt97

Hi!
I've been using MyFitnessPal on and off for probably 2 years now. When I started college I gained a little weight. A lot of people would say that I have nothing to complain about, my BMI is 20.5. But you can definitely see that my fat isn't "well distributed". I can't even look at myself in the mirror. And I want to change this. I can keep a clean diet and workout routine for a while and make progress, but then I'll just stop and binge eat. I'm kinda doing both now, it's 1am and I just ate ice cream, cake, and chocolate, but I ate right and clean during the day and exercised. So yeah, this needs to stop. Food doesn't even feel good anymore, but I keep eating and eating.
I'm posting this so it's out there and I want to make a real commitment this time. This time has to be the last time I'm going through this.

smallsteps2success

I'm just like you. You're story is my story. I've been on and off of MFP for about 2-3 years. And this time it is for real. I'm fairly young and about a month ago my doctor said I was pre-diabetic. So this is it for me. Nothing like the threat of diabetes to scare me straight. This time I can tell it's for real and more importantly sustainable. I now finally understand when people say it has to be a lifestyle change. I'm rootin' for you. Let me know when you've honed in on your commitment. I'd love to support you in that.

kommodevaran

I think it's time to talk to your doctor about this.

mazdauk

You have no picture, and do not give your height and weight (BMI is notoriously inaccurate as a measurement) so its hard for a load of people on a weight loss and fitness forum to advise. You should see a Dr and get some advice.

Your relationship with food needs to change. Yes, eat sensible meals (what do you mean by "eating clean"? Cooking from scratch using lots of fresh ingredients, fruit and veg? or are you cutting out random foods because they are "dirty"?) but you can also eat ice cream and cake - just make sure you weigh it and log the calories.
You want this to be the last time" - do you weigh and log every item of food? (Using a food scale, no "cups" etc.) Do you eat back at least half of your exercise calories? And are you honest about your exercise - if you log "30 mins at 3.5mph", have you walked a known distance of 1.75 miles in half an hour, or used an accurate fitness tracker?
In any case, if your BMI is only 20.5 you are unlikely to need to lose weight, so rather than eating at a deficit maybe find a trainer who can help you redefine your body, or at least help you view your goals realistically and help you manage your expectations.

susanayt97

michellelimon wrote: »

I'm just like you. You're story is my story. I've been on and off of MFP for about 2-3 years. And this time it is for real. I'm fairly young and about a month ago my doctor said I was pre-diabetic. So this is it for me. Nothing like the threat of diabetes to scare me straight. This time I can tell it's for real and more importantly sustainable. I now finally understand when people say it has to be a lifestyle change. I'm rootin' for you. Let me know when you've honed in on your commitment. I'd love to support you in that.

That is scary! We have to believe more in ourselves don't we? So many people do it, we can too! I'd love to accept your support and give you some back!

susanayt97

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think it's time to talk to your doctor about this.

I do believe getting help from a doctor is essential, but the change has to come from me, I don't think there's anything he/she could do. I know how to improve and be healthy safely, I just have to stick to it

susanayt97

mazdauk wrote: »

You have no picture, and do not give your height and weight (BMI is notoriously inaccurate as a measurement) so its hard for a load of people on a weight loss and fitness forum to advise. You should see a Dr and get some advice.

Your relationship with food needs to change. Yes, eat sensible meals (what do you mean by "eating clean"? Cooking from scratch using lots of fresh ingredients, fruit and veg? or are you cutting out random foods because they are "dirty"?) but you can also eat ice cream and cake - just make sure you weigh it and log the calories.
You want this to be the last time" - do you weigh and log every item of food? (Using a food scale, no "cups" etc.) Do you eat back at least half of your exercise calories? And are you honest about your exercise - if you log "30 mins at 3.5mph", have you walked a known distance of 1.75 miles in half an hour, or used an accurate fitness tracker?
In any case, if your BMI is only 20.5 you are unlikely to need to lose weight, so rather than eating at a deficit maybe find a trainer who can help you redefine your body, or at least help you view your goals realistically and help you manage your expectations.

Yes, the problem is my relationship with food. I've been underweight most of my life and had eating disorders, but about 5 years ago I managed to get a healthy weight. I won't post pictures, and I'm not unhappy with my weight, but I can assure you it doesn't look good on me. The problem is that if I keep going like this, things will keep going down.
I don't need to do anything extreme, just some exercise and eat well. By eating clean I do mean cooking from scratch, lots of fruit and veggies. I'm not trying to cut out any particular food, I have to learn how to eat it and enjoy it. Because at this point I eat it way too often and too much, and I don't even enjoy it. I actually feel sick a lot of the time. I have to find a balance.
Last time I did this I was weighing all my food and everything and I can tell you it became an obsession.