Trying to lose the weight after ex boyfriend called me fat and unattractive.

rianneonamission

Stacyines wrote: »

His weight fluctuated between 180 to 205. Anytime he was over 190- he blamed me for the gain.

Because, you know, he is a pathetic little soul who is unable to take control of his own life.

That's why he tried to control you.

You are well rid of the cockwombling doucecanoe and his bollocks.

snickerscharlie

OP, just think of all of the dead weight you lost just by getting that moron out of your life.

Stacyines

Thanks Tcunbeliver!
I have considered returning to a therapist. Believe it or not, this is my second traumatic relationship. 5 years ago, I had a boyfriend commit suicide when he was on the phone with me. I'm quite unlucky in the love department. Haha.

So much negative feedback on juicing. Noooo! I secretly love my juice cleanses. I usually do one annually. In reality, it just makes it easier to eat healthier for me. It's like a jumpstart push.

snickerscharlie

Stacyines wrote: »

Thanks Tcunbeliver!
I have considered returning to a therapist. Believe it or not, this is my second traumatic relationship. 5 years ago, I had a boyfriend commit suicide when he was on the phone with me. I'm quite unlucky in the love department. Haha.

So much negative feedback on juicing. Noooo! I secretly love my juice cleanses. I usually do one annually. In reality, it just makes it easier to eat healthier for me. It's like a jumpstart push.

Juice 'cleanses' actually cleanse nothing. Your body does that for you all the time naturally. Juices are very high in sugar, and very low on essential nutrients.

orangegato

Stacyines wrote: »

I have considered returning to a therapist.

This is a great idea^^^

ninerbuff

Stacyines wrote: »

Thanks Tcunbeliver!
I have considered returning to a therapist. Believe it or not, this is my second traumatic relationship. 5 years ago, I had a boyfriend commit suicide when he was on the phone with me. I'm quite unlucky in the love department. Haha.

A lot of relationships correlate with upbringing. A "mama's boy" usually ends up with an SO who likes to take care of them. A female who had a strict upbringing, commonly (from my experience anecdotally) coupled with someone who was more "in charge" than she.
So have you considered your gravitation to certain males due to behavior of you father? This is just a guess. For all I know, your father could be a great guy and totally opposite.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Stacyines

Ninerbuff- you're on point. I found myself attracted to men that take charge and are career driven. The absolute contrary to my father though. But both traumatic relationships resulted in a sudden shift in personalities that I had unforeseen. My mistake was to move in quickly with one of them.

The first traumatic relationship took some time and help of a shrink to determine that was not my fault nor the root of the problem. (Turns out he was on bath salts and nobody knew. Toxicology report was necessary.)

I stayed longer than I should have in this last relationship because I thought working on relationship was the normal. The nastier the comments became, the worst the feeling in my gut became. I fractured my toe in June. I was in excruciating pain and started crying. He legit snapped at me for disturbing his sleep. Didn't offer me an ice pack or comforted me. He instead bolted to the living room to sleep on the couch. My mom had to end up taking me to the ER. Did I forgive him for that? YUP!
It wasn't until I read texts of him asking his coworker out that I finally left. He was angry. When I asked him deliver my mail to one of my offices near him (so we wouldn't see each other) he went on an insult rampage claiming he always found me unattractive and called me psycho. When I asked him for the dogs he demanded I get out of his life and refused. I was pretty over the fighting so I just stopped responding and just left it at that.

tcunbeliever

Twice is a pattern, and not a good one in this case. I wish this book were mandatory reading in schools - it's not just for teenagers, give it a try:

https://amazon.com/Finding-Safety-Boundaries-Teenagers-Recognize/dp/1585003352/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1502805655&sr=1-2&keywords=finding+safety

vegmebuff

ecjim wrote: »

Your ex is wrong - you are very pretty - I would skip the juice cleanse, It's a waste of time - Figure out your BMR - eat accordingly & lift some weghts

no kidding! You are simply lovely. Glad he is your ex now

jaimydude

Whatever it takes to get there I suppose but I think you should find ways to do this for yourself. If he is still the main motivation for your goal then he still 'means' something to you or you are still giving him some control. Try and get him out of it completely. That's just my $.02.

Also, you're gorgeous!

Maritill

Do your exercising, watch what you eat and drink, drink, drink water. Also get the book "Getting past your breakup" by Susan J.. Elliot. Has good information. I got mine from the library. Keep up the good work.

msf74

The only person responsible for your weight gain is you. Therefore the only person who has control over your weight loss is you.

Which is kind of cool as your ex is irrelevant to this scenario. The only power he has is that which you decide to give him. So forget that dimwit and decide on a solid and reasonable plan which you can stick to.

And then stick to it.

Depression and stress can certainly make weight loss attempts harder but they cannot defeat a calorie deficit, consistency and time. Go smash it.

ISweat4This

Now it's time to focus on you. You don't have to prove him wrong because he doesn't care, do it for you.