SOS - I'm scared to eat out

kaygold

I've had anxiety over eating out for several years now, and in an effort to conquer that, am looking to learn from people's experience. I do not under eat/crash diet, so my anxiety is not rooted in an obsession from not eating enough. If anything, it stems from an obsession of being fit, thin, and feeling/looking my best. When losing, I eat roughly 1740 a day, with 1 hour HIIT x 4/week; I follow the TDEE method - Female, 29, 5'7", 134 lbs.

I track/weigh everything I eat so that I ensure I'm getting enough calories, and most importantly not eating too many. I go through several weeks of successful tracking and intake, and then usually, I'll have a weekend where I take a mental break from weighing/tracking everything, and lets face it...over indulge on all the good food. I'm usually uncomfortable for a couple of days after a weekend like that because I don't think my body is used to digesting the higher fat/denser/voluminous intake, so I'm pretty bloated. That being said, when I weigh myself 2-3 weeks later, I'm at my normal weight, sometimes, even a 1lb or so lower.

Anyways, I feel kind of trapped because I enjoy weekends like that, and they aren't frequent (like 1 weekend per month), but I do feel like I have to snap back to my diligent and regular tracking/weighing for a couple of weeks to "undo" any damage I may have done. This means that when my friends want to go out a couple weeks after being back on my deficit, I don't want to go because I don't want to add on to excess calories I ate not too long back, and possibly gain weight.
In general, if a restaurant doesn't list nutritional information, I get anxiety because despite weighing my food all the time, I'm not confident in how many calories I'm eating. I don't want to underestimate and gain, but I also don't want to overestimate and deprive myself because I don't think I have enough calories left for the day/week.

I want to be able to have a social life with my friends, but sometimes the anxiety is too much, and it's easier to stay home and eat what I've cooked and weighed because I know how many calories it is, and that it fits in my day. When I do go out, because I don't know how many calories I'm eating, I tend to have a "hell with this mentality" and eat whatever, and it triggers my old bad eating habits, and I'll eat way more than I should.

How do you guys to it? How do you eat out, and not feel anxiety over calories? I know some people say to find something comparable in the database, but when you go to mom and pop restaurants, its difficult to do. Also, like I said, I'm not good at eyeballing calories either. Any tips and tricks for finding a balance to dieting and my social life? I'm starting to lose friends because I don't want to eat out all the time, which we inevitably end up doing.

janejellyroll

The way you're living sounds kinda rough and isolating. It may be worth speaking to a professional about -- they can help come up with techniques to relieve your anxiety.

I also try to be very precise in my intake. I weigh foods at home, I prepare most of my food myself. I do this precisely so I have more latitude in my estimation when I go out. I know that if I'm hitting my goals most of the time, a mistake in estimating one meal when I'm out isn't going to be a problem. I'm not great at eyeballing calories, but I must be good enough because I have been maintaining for about two years with this method.

Your life doesn't have to be a cycle of being rigidly on plan and times when you're saying "to hell with this" and eating so much that it is causing discomfort.

MichelleSilverleaf

Sounds like something you need to face with the help of a professional, and changing that mindset takes time and work. I had a lot of success with CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) but I started that with professional help. So that should definitely be step one.

One day doesn't ruin the entire effort. You mentioned that you take a weekend off from the calorie counting but that you overindulge on the good food. Perhaps you're being too restrictive on that count? Cutting out things you enjoy doesn't work for everyone, and you may be feeding into your own anxiety by overindulging on things if that's the only time you have them. Can this 'good food' be worked into your daily calories? It may be worth a try if it ends up defeating that need to overindulge. 1740 is a pretty good number, and with that fitness activity you probably have some good workout calories to help.