Missing my husband but reaching my goals

tlwmomof3

I started on MFP about 5 years ago, way before I hit my topped out weight. I had basically been a thin person my whole life. In my 30's & 40's I started yo-yoing so I finally started eating healthy and exercising and at 47 years old, was at my perfect weight of 127 lbs, so I thought it was time to quit smoking. That was 10 years ago. Then I went through menopause. Between the two, I started gaining weight and pretty much didn't stop (some short diets here and there), until I got on a fitness and healthy eating plan, that I've been on for about a year and a half now. I recently started logging onto MFP again and going to a weight loss clinic for the last few months. In that year and a half, I have been going to the gym, lost weight, gained weight and lost some more. I've watched my husband of 34 years, go through horrific throat cancer treatment, which ultimately did not work. He was on a feeding tube the whole time, about 2 1/2 years. I would go get fast food and eat it in the car on the way home because I felt guilty for eating in front of him. The cancer spread to his brain and I lost him in January. He never made me feel fat, even at 5'3", 234 lbs. I have lost almost 58 lbs now, and am more than halfway to my goal. I wish he were here, but I can still hear his voice in my head, telling me in his Bostonian accent, "you look gorgeous sweethawt!". I will make it to my goal and there are a few things I will always remember. 1. My weight loss clinic coach told me, "once you reach your goal weight, continue to weigh yourself. If you start to gain weight back, do not let yourself go more than 4 lbs before you get yourself back on track. If you don't, once you hit that 5th pound, it's easy to just let yourself start eating badly and continue to gain." 2. Betty White was asked how she has kept her figure into her 90's. She said she weighs herself every day and if she gains, then she eats better that day. And 3. My husband is always cheering my on, even if I can't see him.

Syneea

I'm sorry for your loss. Way to go with staying consistent and focused! :-)

dorisj717

I am so sorry for your loss, you sound like an amazing woman. Stay strong you can do it!!

marelthu

Your husband would be so proud of you. You're amazing!

nowine4me

I'm proud of you and I don't even know you. Atta Girl!

artbyrachelh

This is so touching and inspiring!

Kalasie

So sorry to hear of your loss. Good for you for getting back up and carrying on!

JamieAmble

So sorry for your loss. Keep up the good work towards a healthier you!

ashlee_g

Thank you for sharing and count me in your fan club!

QS82

I'm so sorry for what you have been through with your husband. Huge well done for your achievements so far, you sound like a wonderful person.

Polo265

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your difficulty! You've made lots of progress and yes, your husband is cheering you on. Hang in there.

SisepuedeLinda

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss but I know he would be so proud of his "sweethawt"

quiksylver296

You are so strong!

AidaF430

He is definitely cheering you on! You are beautiful inside and out. Congratulations on your success! You should be very proud.

RenaPink11

Cheering you on!

potokat

This is an amazing story, and you are an amazing woman! Thank you for sharing this!

skinneeme007

Blinking back tears! You are amazing!

Ruatine

Okay, I just cried. I'm so sorry for your loss. Congratulations on your successes! You're an inspiration!

aliciaaw

So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband! Sounds like you're a strong woman hang in there, you'll reach your goal! You have your angle in your corner

Loser_53

So sorry for your loss.it must be so difficult. You are doing great and you are such a strong, inspirational woman.

noclady1995

So sorry for your loss. You sound like a strong lady.

Penthesilea514

I am sorry for your loss, you have been through so much and yet you are still pushing through it- you are an amazing person.

KarlaH9801

What a great way to memorialize him. And, Betty White rules!!

Gisel2015

Sorry for your loss. May the memory of your husband guide you and support to thru your new life style.

Fuzzipeg

A huge hug. I can understand the reason you got into the position you did, it would probably have been my reaction too. Its not easy to watch the people we love diminishing before our eyes, seeing what they are going through, its the last thing they want to put you through. I congratulate you whole heartedly on keeping to your daily goals when life is still throwing brickbats at you, things which pull you up short and maybe choked you.

Life will be so very different, I'm glad he's there encouraging you. You are fortunate enough to have strong memories to carry you through. Wishing you all the best as you walk into your different life. Keep well.

VryIrishGirl76

Oh sweetheart.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

whb2015

Sorry for your loss. It sounds like he would be very proud of you! Keep it up.

keodell1966

So sorry for your loss!
Great job!

jenilla1

DiaryOfaThickFitWoman

Sorry for your lost. What a precious story and inspiring!