I was doing great, then...

amyf2000

I was doing great! For a month! Logging everything, meeting my calorie goal, losing an inch. Then this last week I had three potlucks and started my period and everything went to hell and I easily undid any progress I'd made and I feel so discouraged. I find any kind of socializing so stressful since I quit drinking but you have to participate in life and interact with people or there's no point to anything. So I'm sitting here all bloated and stomach-achy wondering how I can possibly pull it back together and whether my modest goals are just unattainable. Ugh I sound so whiny. Can anyone relate and encourage me?

MsMichelle2112

I can definitely relate! But please don't be discouraged - one bad week won't be the end of it all! I always find it's helpful to acknowledge my mistake, own my feelings (shame, anger, sadness) and start again tomorrow. You know what works for you, and the sooner you get back on track, the easier it will be.

Go in to socialising with a plan. If you're going out to dinner, have a light breakfast and lunch, go for a walk or run or whatever floats your boat, and see if you're able to check the menu online and make a decision before you're faced with an anxiety-inducing social situation. If it's potluck, stick with the healthier stuff and allow yourself one treat. Going over your calories one day isn't the end of the world, especially if you're usually quite vigilant - you may even find you still lose weight.

Hope that helps!

KeepOnMovjng

I can relate I tend to eat loads of chocolate, biscuits, etc when comes to TOM. Also put on quite a bit of weight when it comes to just before/ when it starts. But once it's over a lot of the weight drops back off as it's just down to my body at the time.

As for the items you had, enjoy them, log and move on. Before I'd be in the same position as you and then id just give up after to put on lb after lb but a few lbs difference for a couple of days and then being back on track doesn't make much difference to my weight loss as compared to just giving up. Also there's more chance of your journey not going to plan if you cut out what you enjoy as you'll just constantly crave it. Just make space for it in your calorie allowance.

If you do feel that it's not good for you/ still feel bad after having them look for a recipe to make your own healthier version or find an alternate brand but don't give up what you enjoy just limit how often you have it.

KeepOnMovjng

Ps as for the socialising find something you and the people you're with enjoy like doing such as a day trip out to somewhere or a activity, something you've not done before or go for the healthy option at a restaurant. I'm going through this issue at the moment but since cutting down to nearly none since New Year's Day I have found it gets easier. If you don't feel like going for a bit, tell them you don't and plan to when you do want to go and use it as the motivation.

You can do this though, you just have to keep at it and give it time. Even though it can be a long hard journey. So good luck and hopefully onwards and downwards

KickassAmazon76

Please keep in mind that women typically gain a few pounds during TOM. Some of that ground you feel you lost may only be a result of your cycle.

Everyone falls. Get up, dust off, and try again. You've got this!

JeromeBarry1

The reason we go many days in a calorie deficit is so that we CAN go a few days in a calorie surplus. Congratulations!

Another thing, since potlucks appear to be a fixture in your life, make the point of taking a low-cal high-nutrition dish as your contribution to the potlucks. That, or chow mein. One of the church ladies makes an awesome chow mein for every potluck. That's why I keep going. Anyway, you can take something like a spinach salad with raisins and walnuts and some tasty healthy bits thrown in, or you could even take a dish of baked sliced cauliflower. You will have the healthy stuff all to yourself and be able to take your leftovers home!

88olds

Ok. You've identified the problem and it isn't exactly losing weight. It's living your life while losing weight.

I quit drinking years ago and social situations were tough because of that. But I was losing just from not drinking. Then to lose more, I had to change my eating. I had to go through this twice. You're doing both at once. Not easy. Give yourself a break.

My favorite eating strategy is to eat an apple before any party or function. At a potluck, I show up with a veggie tray. I've been surprised by how many people grab up the healthy option. I also avoid the dessert table. If I just cant keep away, I delay going near it. Actually I'd forgotten. Delay is a good strategy in general. It can be a reasonable alternative to just say no. "Yes, your BBQ looks delicious. I'm working my way in that direction." If you slow down the process, you'll eat less.

Last- coping with feeling discouraged is a major part of weight loss success. Weight loss is incredibly complex. Successful weight loss is a skill set with a significant learning curve. Like they say in my yoga class (and it's never too late to start yoga) "not to judge but to learn." Keep learning. It's all just a big experiment.

betterwhenimdancin

For time of the month, 45 g of chocolate chips = 210 calories and is usually enough to quench cravings without the bloat.

For social occasions, make sure you are well hydrated so you are less likely to overeat or drink a calorie dense beverage. Make half your plate fresh fruit and veggies then take a tablespoon sized serving of any dishes that you would actually enjoy eating. If you feel that you're still hungry and that you've been reasonable with supper, take bite sized servings of the desserts you'd enjoy. Keep in mind you might weigh a bit more the next day from consuming more salt than usually and from having more waste in your GI tract (from the larger servings). Think of these days as 'refeed' days rather than 'cheat' days. Your goal is to eat at maintenance that day. It's healthy to take breaks from dieting.

amusedmonkey

I think instead of looking at it like a failure, look at it as an excellent opportunity. There, a real life situation presented itself. You aren't going to be quitting your social life, so how do you imagine yourself acting in potlucks once you've lost the weight? What sounds more natural and easier? To be that person who nibbles a little bit of everything? The person who picks the lightest dish? The person who eats normally but eats less before the events to bank calories? The person who calls it a day and corrects it later? The person who is happily overweight?...etc Try each variation and see which one feels more natural, then start brainstorming for situation-specific strategies to have a plan (for example: if there is cake, I will only have a slice of my favorite one)

It's important to understand that things won't always be perfect. In fact that's part of the whole process, learning how to handle imperfect situations. Your ability to learn and adapt as well as your ability to forgive yourself are just important to the process as the calorie deficit.

amyf2000

I'm so impressed by all your thoughtful replies and good advice. Thank you all so much!