Defeated

rdgfit

Don't think I can add to the messages above - I agree with the comments and strongly encourage you to participate in the communities and tag a few friends along the way who can help motivate and help when the negative self talk kicks in. You can do this. Add me if you would like.

Moobs92

Thank you all for the kind words. I was feeling so down but after seeing all this support and encouragement, you all really lifted me up and changed my mind. I'm worth the effort and I look forward to being part of this community and journey! Again, thank you all for pulling me out that defeated mindset. Now I'm ready to kick butt.

MysticGoalie

Everything's possible, never give up.

A Dream can stay a Dream without a plan, with a plan it can become real.

whosshe

My starting weight was 230lbs and I'm 5'3". I was the exact same way. I hated myself so much, I would hardly let my boyfriend touch me and I hated looking in the mirror every morning. I would wake up with a huge hole in my gut just knowing I'd have to go through another day looking like ME.

I don't exercise. I've tried in the past to lose weight and exercise and I would get so discouraged and tired.

This time, all I did was focus on my calories. Before I would probably eat anywhere from 2500-3500 calories a day. I was gaining FAST. I signed up for MyFitnessPal and the rest is history.

I've lost 41lbs so far and I have 47lbs to go.

I am also a housekeeper. I get about 15000 steps 3 days a week from it and I've found that that's all the exercise I need so far. When I get close to my goal and it's easier to move my body I think I'll want to try to do formal exercise. BUT before I started working as a housekeeper all I did was sit on my laptop for 18 hours a day. I still lost 20 pounds.

I live on my laptop. If I'm not working I'm at home gaming or bobbing around the internet. You can still do this.

If you get burnt out by exercise, don't start with exercise.

You are not alone AT ALL. We ALL did this to ourselves. This is the best place you could possibly be. WE are rooting for you!

familygoal1

You have to remind yourself of the positives. Don't think of you past negatives. You will have on and off weeks with your weight. Just keep trying and adjust your food and workout. Try physical actives you like or have wanted to try. Mix it up. Maybe try a Nutrionists to help set good goals. You can sometimes get a referral from a doctor or pay out of pocket. My spouse had maybe three visits with a Nutrionists that help with understanding how to adjust meals as goals change.

I didn't loose anything this week. So I'm adjusted my workout and trying something new to relax. Along with cardio and running/walking.

lydia4462

I can relate to ALL of your story as I've felt that way at one time or another but to a lesser degree. I hope I can help.

First of all...when I finally scrolled down to your photo, I was SHOCKED to find a handsome man who is definitely not the huge worthless blob you describe yourself to be. I was shocked!!!! But I also appreciate you are angry at yourself and putting into words what you feel. That is a good start...being honest with yourself.

You've received some good advice in the responses to your post. I didn't read all of them but I'd like to suggest that you look into the Paleo lifestyle as a healthy alternative to dieting. Do some research on it and decide for yourself if this approach might be the radical change that will motivate you again. I tried it at the point when I was discouraged for the same reasons you are. I felt there was no point in trying to lose weight because I always give up and gain it back. This was different. With eating Paleo, I felt better, healthier, and more energized than ever before. Look it up.

Good luck. Yourself really deserves to be nice to you.

brdnw

hey man, I'm also from ohio, here is my post I did about how i went from 285 to 225lbs gained 40lbs back up to 265lbs and then committed myself to it and got to 190lbs within 10 months. So my story is pretty similar to yours as I lost weight, gained it back and trust me, i hated how i looked with a shirt off, in my post i even described myself as having moobs ha. But i'm a success story. I didn't do anything special, I went to the gym when I didn't feel like it, I ate mostly well and I stayed consistent and it became really easy.

here's my post i did, i just feel like it's pretty relateable to what you've described. Feel free to add me.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10421927/285-190-warning-i-wrote-too-damn-much/p1

solovino1

I would probably simplify things quite a bit. First I'd say it is a good thing to have something very difficult to achieve. You have a a goal and it's a worthy one. When you finish this one successfully you may find that you have a taste for more. Now on to the details...Humans covered the planet primarily by walking. No bicep curls were involved. Start walking now everywhere you can. Make chores as inefficient as possible to get steps in. Get an activity monitor, a simple one. Leave the gym and all that out of the plan for now. You can get into that later. I assume you have your MFP profile set up. If your ideal is 180, it's is going to easy once your head is in the game. Now start logging every single thing that passes your lips except for h20. This is not rocket science. The rules are the same for pretty much everyone. Just follow them and get right back up if you fall.

nutmegoreo

Moobs92 wrote: »

Well unfortunately I can't change my name since I changed it once already. But no more self deprecation. I'm determined to change that.

You can send a message to one of the moderators or site staff and they can change it for you.

ETA: link

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest

highlightshadow

Take this simpler..... you look at the big numbers on scales and it all feels overwhelming...

This year was a real make or break for me ... i've been massive for years and years....
For me this year has been different .... mainly because i did 2 things:
1. Stopped thinking about the end-goal ... focus on short term.... 1 day ... today.. deal with today .. get through it, do the best you can ... go to sleep .. Tomorrow we do it again
2. Weight loss, at least for me and again because for years i've hated on myself and beaten myself up, is about 95% mental battleground and only 5% food.. I've had to have some serious conversations in my own head.. sort out why i reach for that pack of cookies, why i've done this to myself... finding some (any) answers to this takes time but it means you have the ability to start changing it ... now i ain't gonna start going on here about needing to love yourself etc ... i still don't do that... but i have at last decided that maybe i should stop punishing myself.. love will come later..

We're taught how to ride a bike, drive a car, do our jobs, but we're never really taught how to change ourselves... Take it slow... the trick for me was whenever i felt those old cravings coming back i had to stop in the moment and really talk to myself (in my head or actually out loud if i was alone) on why i'm doing this ....

Slowly but surely that control starts to come back ... feeling in control of my food (while i still don't love food) is a step ... i know its a cliche but take it slow ... this is not a diet for a year or something .... this is slowly moving to a state of living the life and as the person you want to become...