Scared to lose progress

RogueRunner_1

I'm happy with my weight of 103.2 at 5ft 3 and definitely don't want to lose any more. I'm afraid if I up my calories from 1200 to what I'll need to maintain, I'll start overeating. It's like I don't trust myself not to overeat if I allow myself more food. Is this a normal fear?

VeronicaA76

Well, then change your goal to "maintenance".

RogueRunner_1

VeronicaA76 wrote: »

Well, then change your goal to "maintenance".

I don't see how that helps, I can be given a specific calorie amount for maintenance but the issue is it's tempting to go back to old habits of over eating

RogueRunner_1

I have a hard time with finding a middle ground, either I'm eating lower calories to lose weight or over eating. Maybe that's just me

kommodevaran

It's a normal fear in the sense of "common", but if it's more than a slight uneasyness, it's not normal in the sense of "healthy".
If you allow yourself enough food, quantity and quality - and for real - you won't tend to overeat.
You're slightly underweight, and I would guess you must have made yourself some quite restrictive eating rules to get to your current weight. Now you have to stop that. Your goal now is to reach normal weight, and stay there. You can do it. You have to give yourself that trust. You earn trust by showing yourself that you can be trusted. Time and experience and being kind to yourself, will build your confidence.

RogueRunner_1

kommodevaran wrote: »

It's a normal fear in the sense of "common", but if it's more than a slight uneasyness, it's not normal in the sense of "healthy".
If you allow yourself enough food, quantity and quality - and for real - you won't tend to overeat.
You're slightly underweight, and I would guess you must have made yourself some quite restrictive eating rules to get to your current weight. Now you have to stop that. Your goal now is to reach normal weight, and stay there. You can do it. You have to give yourself that trust. You earn trust by showing yourself that you can be trusted. Time and experience and being kind to yourself, will build your confidence.

That's helpful, thank you (:

Lillymoo01

Give yourself a range you are comfortable with rather than just a number eg 100-105 grams. Add 100 calories each week or two until you are maintaining rather than gaining or losing. Keep eating at this amount and you should have more success with keeping the weight off. If you find you hit the top of your range then cut calories for a bit or the opposite if it gets too low.

Lillymoo01

I am also sure that most of us had that same fear transitioning into maintenance.

TavistockToad

Agreed, you need a maintenance range not just 1 weight to account for fluctuations

daneejela

kommodevaran wrote: »

It's a normal fear in the sense of "common", but if it's more than a slight uneasyness, it's not normal in the sense of "healthy".
If you allow yourself enough food, quantity and quality - and for real - you won't tend to overeat.
You're slightly underweight, and I would guess you must have made yourself some quite restrictive eating rules to get to your current weight. Now you have to stop that. Your goal now is to reach normal weight, and stay there. You can do it. You have to give yourself that trust. You earn trust by showing yourself that you can be trusted. Time and experience and being kind to yourself, will build your confidence.

Woow, this is one of the most powerful things I've read on this forum. Absolutely agree!

sijomial

RogueRunner_1 wrote: »

I have a hard time with finding a middle ground, either I'm eating lower calories to lose weight or over eating. Maybe that's just me

Maybe you are reacting to normal daily/weekly/monthly fluctuations?
You need to only intervene if the longer term trend shifts. That takes time and patience to learn what range of fluctuations is your personal "normal" and how you react to factors such as types of food, exercise, hydration levels etc. etc.
Maybe a weight trending app might help?

Give yourself time to get used to the new you and the new goal of maintaining. Remember how the first day in a new job is scary and how uncertain you feel? And yet after a while it becomes normal.

lorrpb

Maintenance is not the end of your journey. It is the beginning of a new learning process.

apullum

I understand what you mean. I've only been in maintenance for a few weeks, and it's hard to get out of the mindset that fewer calories are better. You have to shift your thinking from wanting to be in a calorie deficit, to wanting to meet your calorie goals. You re-learned how to eat when you lost weight, and now you have to use those new skills to learn to eat a little differently. Maintenance means you can eat a little more than you're now used to, but you can't go back to how you ate before you lost weight. It can all seem daunting.

One thing I'm trying to do is rethink my serving sizes to fit my new calorie goals. I used to eat a half cup of cooked rice, now I eat 3/4 cup. I get a few more calories without feeling like I'm overindulging. I also eat a bigger breakfast now with more protein and fiber. I was in a deficit for about 2.5 years and I had a pretty good idea of how many calories I usually spent on each meal, so I'm now trying to figure out what's "new normal" for me.

SuzySunshine99

RogueRunner_1 wrote: »

I'm happy with my weight of 103.2 at 5ft 3 and definitely don't want to lose any more. I'm afraid if I up my calories from 1200 to what I'll need to maintain, I'll start overeating. It's like I don't trust myself not to overeat if I allow myself more food. Is this a normal fear?

This is what is a bit concerning...your precise weight measurement. Transitioning into maintenance, you have to realize that your weight will fluctuate daily due to water retention, what you eat, when you go to the bathroom, hormones, etc. Your ideal weight should not be one specific number, but a RANGE of at least 5 pounds. Or else you will drive yourself nuts with every ounce of fluctuation.

Rusty740

RogueRunner_1 wrote: »

I'm happy with my weight of 103.2 at 5ft 3 and definitely don't want to lose any more. I'm afraid if I up my calories from 1200 to what I'll need to maintain, I'll start overeating. It's like I don't trust myself not to overeat if I allow myself more food. Is this a normal fear?

Yeah, this is pretty normal and understandable for people who've lost some weight. Hey after all, all we've heard forever is that it's really easy to put the weight back on after you've lost it. Well, not so fast. If you've learned to lose weight and eat in a small deficit and track food and all the things to get where you are, you can absolutely control this and you need to give it a try.

It's almost the same as when we first started tracking food and getting in a calorie deficit, I for one, did not think I could do it. Then, wow, I could actually accomplish this, it takes a leap of faith. It also takes time. You will have trouble putting on a tonne of weight so don't worry about ballooning up once you have a few more calories, you are conscious of it, you know what you're doing.

ladyhusker39

Two observations that might be helpful to you:

1) Having a weight that's so precise to 1/10th of a pound is going to set you up for a lot of stress in so many ways. Work on this. Maybe that was just your weight at your last weigh in and you already get this, I don't know. But it's a red flag.

2) One of the reasons it's highly recommended to slow down your rate of weight loss and thus lower your calorie deficit is to help you learn how to eat at maintenance a little bit at a time. If you didn't do that consider raising your calories a small amount at a time. Maybe 50-100 calories at a time until you feel confident you can be consistent at that particular calorie level. Keep doing that until you reach your maintenance calories. This will also give you time to build your confidence in your ability to maintain.

Think of it this way, you know how to eat at a consistent calorie level already so you're 90% there. You just need to get the hang of doing it at a maintenance. Give yourself time and take it slow.

SummerSkier

I will admit that I too am afraid of failing maintenance. Thank you OP for starting this topic. To that end I have started using a TDEE tracker which over time provides a customized TDEE for individuals. I have about 7 pounds left to go to hit maintenance and plan on just pretending it is a continuation of deficit by slowly adding 100 cals for a few weeks at a time. I am also hopeful that long term I will be able to actually improve my TDEE since I will no longer be yo yo ing around.

mjglantz

Don't do a thing. Keep your calories the same and if you settle at that weight then that's the # of calories you can eat. If you keep losing, then add 50 - 100 cals/day and see what happens. For me this was a learning and balancing exercise.

lorrpb

SummerSkier wrote: »

I will admit that I too am afraid of failing maintenance. Thank you OP for starting this topic. To that end I have started using a TDEE tracker which over time provides a customized TDEE for individuals. I have about 7 pounds left to go to hit maintenance and plan on just pretending it is a continuation of deficit by slowly adding 100 cals for a few weeks at a time. I am also hopeful that long term I will be able to actually improve my TDEE since I will no longer be yo yo ing around.

I thought about maintenance every day while losing for 2 1/2 years. I had to figure out why I gained back before and what I was going to do differently this time. I realized that I never had a plan about what to do if I started to regain. Now I've made the plan, although I've rarely had to implement it.

I didn't change my eating that much once I hit maintenance because I was losing very slowly, .5 per week or less, at the end. Now I allow myself a BIT more latitude when eating out. Otherwise it's pretty much the same.

I have found I see the fluctuations more in maintenance than while losing. This is because if I lost 2 lbs and got water weight of 4 lbs, the scale showed only 2 lbs of upward fluctuation. Then when the water left, my weight was lower than before. Now I see all 4 lbs of water weight on the scale and it can take 2+ weeks to clear it out. By then I've probably eaten out again, so back it comes. Very tricky. But I'm still exactly the same weight as 1 year ago!

TLDR; don't be scared of maintenance and the scales, just come up a plan to deal with the challenges!

GettingFitSlim

im right there with you! i had a baby 3 months ago and just lost all my pregnancy weight and finally happy with how my body looks again! thinking of switching to maintenance but so scared im gonna eat more and gain it all back

lorrpb

GettingFitSlim wrote: »

im right there with you! i had a baby 3 months ago and just lost all my pregnancy weight and finally happy with how my body looks again! thinking of switching to maintenance but so scared im gonna eat more and gain it all back

Eating an appropriate amount more will not make you gain back your pregnancy weight. If you eat too much more, you will. You won't gain it back overnight. Maintenance requires trial and error. If you see that you are slowly gaining over a period of 2+ months, cut back 200 cals per day and get back on track.