I feel I have tried everything...

Hi everyone,
Recently started using MFP again.
I feel I have tried everything to lose weight but my body is against it lol

I am the kind that loses 3KG and gains 4KG. So all my life I have gained and lost and gained more... when I watch what I eat and go to the gym I start losing. The issue is when I stop going to the gym because life happens... I start binging.

To get in a calories deficit I exhaust myself in cardio until I can barely walk next day. I suffer from shoulder issues and neck issues so quite restricted in the upper body weight lifting.

I have been called fat a lot. I am 1m50 for 63KG. I feel haunted by people and their judgmental look. I struggle with those voices everyday, including gym coaches who keep telling me I am lazy and I come everyday but there is no result, why don't I get any result? Probably trying to get me to pay for their individual coaching. I burn 500 calories everyday in the gym, so I don't get this pressure from people to lose weight fast and if you are eating carbs you are doing something wrong.

I got told off by a friend of a friend when he saw me eating cashews as a snack because how can I be on a diet and eat fatty nuts... *eye roll*

I am tired of the "instragam-body type" and the social pressure women get to always be slim and lose weight.

I really don't get it?

I want to get healthier and lose some weight, I feel because of the ups and downs my body doesn't lose easily but I AM TRYING MY BEST!

Just hoping to get some support and hear some similar stories.

Replies

  • gg2007
    gg2007 Posts: 71 Member
    Hey, I can totally relate to where you are coming from. One of the things that had to change for me after years of being obese and everybody telling me I should lose weight, and being negative with there comments, yes I when on a diet but then after so long I ended up putting weight on again. I had to want it for myself....when I wanted it for myself rather than everybody telling me I should lose weight things changed.

    I also wasn't setting myself realistic goals and was actually setting myself up for failure, did I want to lose loads of weight really fast and end up putting it back on plus more and then repeating the cycle again, or did I want to lose it a lil more slower and actually keep the weight of and teach myself new habits and skills that I could keep up for life....because as much as we hear that word it really is about a lifestyle change and not going on another diet. Personally for me diets don't work...because that's what happens you end up putting it back on once you come off the diet.

    Take it each day at a time and set myself realistic goals, sometimes you also got to take what some people say with a pinch of salt....sometimes they mean well, but it doesn't come out that way. Surround yourself with people who have similar goals and things that you want to achieve. MFP is a great community and you can get so much info, motivation and encouragement from here also. Feel free to add me, YOU CAN DO THIS!!

    Never give up! just take it each day at a time!
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    edited August 2017
    Have you consistently logged your food (accurately, using a scale for solids and measuring liquids) to meet the calorie goal mfp gives you for your stats to lose weight, and then continuing to do the same for maintenance when/if you reach your goal weight?

    Exercise isn't required for weight loss, it helps increase your deficit, but your intake is more important
  • shaznee43
    shaznee43 Posts: 5 Member
    Thank you for your support! much appreciated. Hoping to hear more similar stories.


    Yes I am very good when I do diet and exercise and log in my food. The problem starts when I stop going to the gym and logging in MFP.... thats when my "the diet starts tomorrow" kicks in.. my issue is consistency...
  • pamfgil
    pamfgil Posts: 449 Member
    So your issues are related to how you treat yourself, how you internalise other people's opinions etc. Concentrate on treating yourself better, maybe look into stress management courses or cbt, check self compassion exercises. As far as food is concerned aim for maintenance as a good thing for a while and when you feel ready then consider losing a little. It's a lot easier to lose the weight long term when you are in a good place with yourself
  • dhimaan
    dhimaan Posts: 774 Member
    There is just as much pressure on men to look good. That is why I bust my *kitten* on a daily basis. I am not doing it for other people as much as I want to look good for myself. Second, screw what other people think. You are going to have to find a way to motivate yourself for the long term. Once it becomes a habit you are much more likely to be consistent.
    If your friends are judging you then they are probably not good friends. My friends push me, they never judge me. Create a routine that you can stick to, however little it maybe. Look for positive people who can encourage and push you. Good luck.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,447 Member
    Stop trying to get into a huge deficit. Instead
    Set your goal for 0.5 or 1 lb a week. Track everything you eat and drink. Use a digital food scale.
    Eat all of your calorie allotment.
    Stick with it for at least a month. Slow and steady wins the race.
  • iofred
    iofred Posts: 488 Member
    "when I watch what I eat and go to the gym I start losing. The issue is when I stop going to the gym because life happens... I start binging." ... well at least you know what works and what causes it not to work, which is already a major step. Imagine you did everything right and still gained weight :( . So the solution is really simple, but it is you that need to dedicate towards it, as it is a change of lifestyle rather than a diet in all honesty, which does require commitment. Life happens, but try to moderate the deficit rather than binge, which is an extreme
  • shaznee43
    shaznee43 Posts: 5 Member
    Thank you everyone for the support and motivation, really helps a lot! Each of you has said something important that has helped me realized that maybe it is hard but not in a negative way.
    On my way to the gym.. wish me luck! lol
  • iofred
    iofred Posts: 488 Member
    "On my way to the gym.. wish me luck!" ... nah, not luck, "Enjoy" ... that is the most important part, make sure you enjoy what you are doing as well, otherwise it will slip :)