[Tips] How I stayed committed finally and lost 30 lbs
JragonTree
Posts: 5 Member
Finally, after lots of hard work, trial and error, and time, I lost 30 lbs and maintained it for the last year. And I asked myself, why? how? What did I do this time 2 years ago that was different?
Here's what I realized - Losing weight & maintaining it is a life style change.
It's not just a diet or workshop I can do once. It's not a diet/pill/shake I can take for 4 or 6 weeks, then, stop, and expect it to last forever.
I had epiphanies!! I don't just fill up gas in your car once and it expect to be full forever.
And I don't go on vacation once in my lifetime and be satisfied to never go again.
But, wait!? Can't I just go on diets once in a while?
Yeah, sure, I can also shower once in a while but I'm gonna smell and feel nasty in-between. Losing weight was the same.
Those diets and special exercise regimes teaches me to lose weight fast but they didn't teach me to maintain it.
Why? Because I didn't want to hear that I must be willing to be more active and mostly pick healthier food choices for the rest of my life.
It sounds hard. It sounds boring. It's tough. It's scary.
I don't want to exercise. I hate sweating. I hate running.
I love chips. I love cookies, ice-cream, burgers, french fries, chicken etc. I love eating!
What if I use an equipment wrong? What if people laugh at me? What exercises are I supposed to do? What gym am I supposed to go?
At one point, I thought, 'maybe I should just give up and love myself the big round way I am? And I did. For most of my university years, but, deep down, I knew I wasn't happy and that I wasn't the best me I could be physically.
I'm not saying I didn't love or accept myself the natural way I am. But, deep down I felt that I could get better if I just did something different somehow.
Because, what is the real difference from fat me vs. someone who's healthy, fit, beautiful, and confident in their own skin?
I didn't know. So, I went and studied my fit friends. What did I find out?
THEY LOVE LIFE.
Do they think about the struggle of losing weight? Do they think about the struggle of going to the gym or trying to stop their cravings?
NO. They have bigger things to focus on, their family, the next race, the dinner party, the pretty dress they're saving up for. They're living the lifestyle. It's engrained in them and they don't even know it! It's normal and effortless for them!
But, they were also like ME first. It's just that they've moved so slowly towards that lifestyle that they're not conscious of it anymore.
I had to commit to making a lifestyle change instead of focusing on techniques for losing weight.
Anyways, here's some of the main things I learned on my journey:
#1: Make Small Changes but Be Consistent
Making big changes abruptly didn't last for me, (e.g. waking up an hour earlier, eating healthier - what does that even mean?!?). It's too daunting and too much change, and required too much willpower to maintain for long. I could only do it for, at most, a 1 week or, at minimum, a day. I started to resent those changes, and associate negative thoughts and how tough things are over time. It became a chore and hassle. So I'd give up.
Consistent small changes means I learned to build new habits instead. Small changes means I'm stilling making progress on bad days and it wasn't as hard to do too.
For example, eating more healthy, and less junk food is hard! It's a big bold statement. A huge thing to suddenly skip that McD for a home cooked meal of quinoa and baked chicken. I didn't even know how to cook quinoa or chicken!! Which means I wouldn't!
So, instead, I just started by adding a handful of greens to one meal, 3 times a week. Didn't matter if that meant I stuck with cucumbers for a week. I did it. Then, it became, 2 meals 3 times a week. Then, all meals 3 times a week. Then, the whole week. Another example, running on the treadmill for 5 minutes slowly became 6 minutes, 7, 8, 10, 20, etc. Now I can go half an hour.
Small changes also means I dealt with smaller challenges instead of huge big ones (e.g. tackling how to pick healthier options when I get out vs. trying to cook up a whole meal plan for the week). As you accomplish things and do it consistent, it becomes the new normal and you do things second nature.
I never thought I'd happily wake up at 5 am to go to gym because I had evening plans. My friends thought I was crazy. I just thought that I had to get the gym portion done so I can go out. It wasn't an impossible, crazy thing for me to do anymore. It was normal.
A warning - don't do a million small changes at once! That didn't work for me too, because I ended up feeling overwhelmed. Handle 1 to 3 changes or goals at a time. You might think you're up for it for the first month or so, but it's not sustainable over the long term (unless you're a pro
)
The key is to pick the lifestyle changes that you want to keep for a long time. There's no point in having a goal of never eating sweets, if you and everyone who knows you says you have a sweet tooth.
Be realistic, and so,
#2: Plan For The Laziest Version of Yourself
I know my habits. So, I planned around them.
I know I eat when I'm bored. So, I got healthier snacks. Pre-prepped them. Even bought fruits pre-cut from Walmart 'cause I'm a lazy bum. I installed games and books on my phone to keep myself occupied when I'm bored instead of eat.
I know that at the end of the work day, I'm very unmotivated and lazy and won't want to go to the gym. I know I'm not a morning person.
So, I got my gym bag ready for the whole week, every sunday when I do laundry. It stays in my car. My gym shoes stay in my car. Now, I have no excuse to say that I don't have my cloths ready or forgot xyz.
On days, I'm super lazy. I give myself options to take a group exercise class instead of doing workouts.
I used social pressure on myself! I'd text that one friend to whine on my lazy days, knowing that he'd just text me back and say, "just go". Or, I'd boast to my parents, so now I have to go.
In the beginning, I started with just getting into the gym and just walking on the treadmill for 5 minutes. That's it. If I did that, I've succeeded. (My brother went even further and just had the goal of stepping into the gym doors. He can totally walk out right after and say, that was enough).
What's important is making small consistent changes TO that laziest benchmark so there is progress. I mean, my brother very quickly graduated from that single step into the gym to going regularly (even on vacation!).
Honestly, if you can't make yourself walk into the gym on your laziest day? You're not trying hard enough. Change the time you do it. Break it down to even smaller steps (e.g. doing a full workout vs. just stepping into the gym). Test it out. Everyone's different. If doing home workouts don't work, go buy a gym membership (i.e. "I spent money on this, therefore, I should make use of it").
The rule of thumb for me was if I fail to do even the laziest thing 3 consecutive times, I'd reevaluate the approach. Later, once I realized I was doing my laziest option 5 consecutive times, I'd need to kick myself in the butt to aim higher.
Or, tell a friend I'll join them on their workout routine one day. Now, I can't skimp out.
Give yourself options, so you at least progress the bare minimum rather than nothing at all. But, don't aim too high or else you'll scare yourself from doing it ever again.
#3: Watch my language and my thoughts
Language and how I thought about the new changes I was making was crucial to turning them into new normals. Negative thoughts or associations means I'd unconsciously resist doing it and I'd give myself reasons to back out.
For instance, I tend to hate cherry or banana flavoured stuff. Why? 'Cause they reminded me of when I had to drink banana or cherry flavoured medicine as a kid. Those flavours are instinctively associated with bad memories.
Change, 'ugh, I have to go the gym' --> 'I want to go to the gym because....'
I hate vegetables --> I want to give this vegetable another try.
I couldn't run for even 5 minutes or I'm huffing and puffing from just 5 minutes of running. I'm so fat --> I ran 5 minutes. That's awesome. Next week, I'm going to do 6 minutes. Or I did 5 minutes last time, I can do it today again!!
Positive association and thoughts means I didn't dread doing certain things anymore and being consistent became easier.
Being positive though is quite hard. I found that Marshell Rosenburg's book on Non-violent communication especially helpful. Read it or get the audiobook if you can.
It's important to not say or think "HATE" about the changes you're doing. Change it to "I WANT..." or "I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I...", so you switch from the negativity to your desires/goals instead.
Be enthusiastic. If necessary, fake it til you make it and search up motivational speeches on youtube. It's hard to do things that you 'have to do' but thinking about why you're doing it makes it easier.
(Extra) #4: Record Things
Making small changes means you need to be able to know what to measure those changes against. Again, going crazy and recording everything you eat is just too much all at once and not helpful....(at least not yet).
The point is to record so you know you're not falling backwards. So you can tell yourself, hey, I actually did 10 push-ups last time. Wow, I'm so much stronger. That means I will aim will to do at least 10 push-ups today if I can't push myself to do 11 push ups.
Knowing what I did last really helped on days where I'm not at the top of my game. It became my own motivation. Plus, once you're on a roll, you don't want to stop!
....this is becoming longer than I thought, so I'll stop here....
TDLR: All in all, I learned that losing weight involved making new habits and committing to lifestyle changes.
I hope this was helpful. If you want to ask a question or have me dive deeper into anything, let me know. I'll respond as soon as possible.
Here's what I realized - Losing weight & maintaining it is a life style change.
It's not just a diet or workshop I can do once. It's not a diet/pill/shake I can take for 4 or 6 weeks, then, stop, and expect it to last forever.
I had epiphanies!! I don't just fill up gas in your car once and it expect to be full forever.
And I don't go on vacation once in my lifetime and be satisfied to never go again.
But, wait!? Can't I just go on diets once in a while?
Yeah, sure, I can also shower once in a while but I'm gonna smell and feel nasty in-between. Losing weight was the same.
Those diets and special exercise regimes teaches me to lose weight fast but they didn't teach me to maintain it.
Why? Because I didn't want to hear that I must be willing to be more active and mostly pick healthier food choices for the rest of my life.
It sounds hard. It sounds boring. It's tough. It's scary.
I don't want to exercise. I hate sweating. I hate running.
I love chips. I love cookies, ice-cream, burgers, french fries, chicken etc. I love eating!
What if I use an equipment wrong? What if people laugh at me? What exercises are I supposed to do? What gym am I supposed to go?
At one point, I thought, 'maybe I should just give up and love myself the big round way I am? And I did. For most of my university years, but, deep down, I knew I wasn't happy and that I wasn't the best me I could be physically.
I'm not saying I didn't love or accept myself the natural way I am. But, deep down I felt that I could get better if I just did something different somehow.
Because, what is the real difference from fat me vs. someone who's healthy, fit, beautiful, and confident in their own skin?
I didn't know. So, I went and studied my fit friends. What did I find out?
THEY LOVE LIFE.
Do they think about the struggle of losing weight? Do they think about the struggle of going to the gym or trying to stop their cravings?
NO. They have bigger things to focus on, their family, the next race, the dinner party, the pretty dress they're saving up for. They're living the lifestyle. It's engrained in them and they don't even know it! It's normal and effortless for them!
But, they were also like ME first. It's just that they've moved so slowly towards that lifestyle that they're not conscious of it anymore.
I had to commit to making a lifestyle change instead of focusing on techniques for losing weight.
Anyways, here's some of the main things I learned on my journey:
#1: Make Small Changes but Be Consistent
Making big changes abruptly didn't last for me, (e.g. waking up an hour earlier, eating healthier - what does that even mean?!?). It's too daunting and too much change, and required too much willpower to maintain for long. I could only do it for, at most, a 1 week or, at minimum, a day. I started to resent those changes, and associate negative thoughts and how tough things are over time. It became a chore and hassle. So I'd give up.
Consistent small changes means I learned to build new habits instead. Small changes means I'm stilling making progress on bad days and it wasn't as hard to do too.
For example, eating more healthy, and less junk food is hard! It's a big bold statement. A huge thing to suddenly skip that McD for a home cooked meal of quinoa and baked chicken. I didn't even know how to cook quinoa or chicken!! Which means I wouldn't!
So, instead, I just started by adding a handful of greens to one meal, 3 times a week. Didn't matter if that meant I stuck with cucumbers for a week. I did it. Then, it became, 2 meals 3 times a week. Then, all meals 3 times a week. Then, the whole week. Another example, running on the treadmill for 5 minutes slowly became 6 minutes, 7, 8, 10, 20, etc. Now I can go half an hour.
Small changes also means I dealt with smaller challenges instead of huge big ones (e.g. tackling how to pick healthier options when I get out vs. trying to cook up a whole meal plan for the week). As you accomplish things and do it consistent, it becomes the new normal and you do things second nature.
I never thought I'd happily wake up at 5 am to go to gym because I had evening plans. My friends thought I was crazy. I just thought that I had to get the gym portion done so I can go out. It wasn't an impossible, crazy thing for me to do anymore. It was normal.
A warning - don't do a million small changes at once! That didn't work for me too, because I ended up feeling overwhelmed. Handle 1 to 3 changes or goals at a time. You might think you're up for it for the first month or so, but it's not sustainable over the long term (unless you're a pro
)The key is to pick the lifestyle changes that you want to keep for a long time. There's no point in having a goal of never eating sweets, if you and everyone who knows you says you have a sweet tooth.
Be realistic, and so,
#2: Plan For The Laziest Version of Yourself
I know my habits. So, I planned around them.
I know I eat when I'm bored. So, I got healthier snacks. Pre-prepped them. Even bought fruits pre-cut from Walmart 'cause I'm a lazy bum. I installed games and books on my phone to keep myself occupied when I'm bored instead of eat.
I know that at the end of the work day, I'm very unmotivated and lazy and won't want to go to the gym. I know I'm not a morning person.
So, I got my gym bag ready for the whole week, every sunday when I do laundry. It stays in my car. My gym shoes stay in my car. Now, I have no excuse to say that I don't have my cloths ready or forgot xyz.
On days, I'm super lazy. I give myself options to take a group exercise class instead of doing workouts.
I used social pressure on myself! I'd text that one friend to whine on my lazy days, knowing that he'd just text me back and say, "just go". Or, I'd boast to my parents, so now I have to go.
In the beginning, I started with just getting into the gym and just walking on the treadmill for 5 minutes. That's it. If I did that, I've succeeded. (My brother went even further and just had the goal of stepping into the gym doors. He can totally walk out right after and say, that was enough).
What's important is making small consistent changes TO that laziest benchmark so there is progress. I mean, my brother very quickly graduated from that single step into the gym to going regularly (even on vacation!).
Honestly, if you can't make yourself walk into the gym on your laziest day? You're not trying hard enough. Change the time you do it. Break it down to even smaller steps (e.g. doing a full workout vs. just stepping into the gym). Test it out. Everyone's different. If doing home workouts don't work, go buy a gym membership (i.e. "I spent money on this, therefore, I should make use of it").
The rule of thumb for me was if I fail to do even the laziest thing 3 consecutive times, I'd reevaluate the approach. Later, once I realized I was doing my laziest option 5 consecutive times, I'd need to kick myself in the butt to aim higher.
Or, tell a friend I'll join them on their workout routine one day. Now, I can't skimp out.
Give yourself options, so you at least progress the bare minimum rather than nothing at all. But, don't aim too high or else you'll scare yourself from doing it ever again.
#3: Watch my language and my thoughts
Language and how I thought about the new changes I was making was crucial to turning them into new normals. Negative thoughts or associations means I'd unconsciously resist doing it and I'd give myself reasons to back out.
For instance, I tend to hate cherry or banana flavoured stuff. Why? 'Cause they reminded me of when I had to drink banana or cherry flavoured medicine as a kid. Those flavours are instinctively associated with bad memories.
Change, 'ugh, I have to go the gym' --> 'I want to go to the gym because....'
I hate vegetables --> I want to give this vegetable another try.
I couldn't run for even 5 minutes or I'm huffing and puffing from just 5 minutes of running. I'm so fat --> I ran 5 minutes. That's awesome. Next week, I'm going to do 6 minutes. Or I did 5 minutes last time, I can do it today again!!
Positive association and thoughts means I didn't dread doing certain things anymore and being consistent became easier.
Being positive though is quite hard. I found that Marshell Rosenburg's book on Non-violent communication especially helpful. Read it or get the audiobook if you can.
It's important to not say or think "HATE" about the changes you're doing. Change it to "I WANT..." or "I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I...", so you switch from the negativity to your desires/goals instead.
Be enthusiastic. If necessary, fake it til you make it and search up motivational speeches on youtube. It's hard to do things that you 'have to do' but thinking about why you're doing it makes it easier.
(Extra) #4: Record Things
Making small changes means you need to be able to know what to measure those changes against. Again, going crazy and recording everything you eat is just too much all at once and not helpful....(at least not yet).
The point is to record so you know you're not falling backwards. So you can tell yourself, hey, I actually did 10 push-ups last time. Wow, I'm so much stronger. That means I will aim will to do at least 10 push-ups today if I can't push myself to do 11 push ups.
Knowing what I did last really helped on days where I'm not at the top of my game. It became my own motivation. Plus, once you're on a roll, you don't want to stop!
....this is becoming longer than I thought, so I'll stop here....
TDLR: All in all, I learned that losing weight involved making new habits and committing to lifestyle changes.
I hope this was helpful. If you want to ask a question or have me dive deeper into anything, let me know. I'll respond as soon as possible.
47
Replies
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Thanks for sharing - I found this really helpful. Especially the part about knowing yourself, and planning for the laziest version.7
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Awesome post. I loved the parts about studying and learning from fit friends... planning for your laziest self... most of all, changing your thoughts and communication.
Congrats on your success!3 -
Fantastic! Thank you for sharing!!2
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These were great tips.....Especially watching the language you use...I tend to be more negative so I am going to try and be more positive...2
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@mrsbower22 I tend to be more negative too. Especially, in my thoughts when I talk about myself. I'd like to say that it helps to memorize motivational speeches? LOL, back then, I listened to a youtube remix of best motivational speeches with epic music in the background, so it helped that my mind called them up when I think negative.
Marshall Rosenburg and his 'language of life' portion was super helpful to me. I can't recommended it enough for helping me to be more life affirming in my thoughts.3 -
This is an old post that I saved, but lots of good tips to get me moving again!2
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I wish I would have saw this when you posted it. I’ve been going to the gym since August consistently. I have no problem with that part but my eating habits suck. I’d always do a super clean version but cave after a day or so because it was so hard to stay away from sweets completely. Thanks for this1
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Thank you for taking time to post. Your words are very encouraging. I like that you were content and felt victorious starting out with baby steps. I have trouble drinking a lot of water. So, instead of starting off with my maximum amount needed, I began drinking three cups and am slowly increasing the amount each day. I am not discouraged, because I am meeting my personal goal...and that's the key. It's mine. I need to do what will make me victorious. Thanks again. Peace and joy.3
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I love this post. It is so true; start small and build.1
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awesome tips.. thank youuu1
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This is a fantastic post, new members should read this. You have changed my thinking. I have lost weight on here before. Gave up smoking and developed Arthritis and gained a lot back.
This time I am really struggling because I feel I should be able to just pick it up where I left off (lifting heavy etc) but of course I had forgotten that I started slowly the first time.
I needed to read all of your post to remind me that I didn't do it all at once last time and I don't have to do it all at once now.
Thank you so much for posting all this it really is going to help me.1 -
Great post!
Change your thoughts, change your life!2 -
This post really is encouraging and helpful. Thank you for taking the time to share.
1 -
Awesome Post !!!1
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Great post! And congrats on your hard work paying off, too!1
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This is just like me. Nice to not feel like an anomaly.1
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This is so inspiring - thank-you for posting it. I've learnt a few new things I can try. I just started a 30 day plank challenge for beginners. It starts with holding the plank for 10 seconds - even a slug like me can manage that!!! By the end of the month I should be doing a 90 second plank. Woohoo!0
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