SAHM Losing the weight & transitioning.

mahazelwood

I'm 33, a SAHM of 3 kids 14, 11, & 3. Looking for support and friends. I started at 346lbs. So far Im down 82 lbs. My goal weight is 200- because like many women, I don't want to be small, I just want to feel healthy and live to help raise my future grandbabies. Ive always been big, never lost weight intentionally, & stuck around 300 most of my adult life. I havent been 200 lbs since I was 12. I've learned how emotional of a journey this really is, and how you have to be your own cheerleader if youre going to do it right.. but I'm hitting a lull lately and I think it's because I know I'm changing as a person..the type of person I'm trying to become isn't supported by the type person I've been all my life. My youngest is starting preschool next year, at which point I'm hoping to have met my goal weight (or be darn close) and get back into the work force. But Im meeting opposition with this (myself being one of them) From hubby's perspective I'm fine to lose just 20 more lbs and stop losing weight. He definitely supports my cause for health, just prefers some "wide in his glide".. but it may go deeper than that. When me going back to work came up, it was met with a cold "ok we won't talk about this again til next year" Alright, well I'll mark my calendar then..? I guess because now I have goals that go beyond the homefront, this bothers him and I get it- but it all scares the $#@% out of me, to be honest. Mostly for social anxiety reasons. I don't want to work, I enjoy being a housewife. BUT, I'm trying to be a better wife, a better mom for our kids, a better me. however I'm beginning to feel like I'm walking into a gunfight with a supersoaker..

evilpoptart63

It sounds like you have an amazing mindset!!! I really hope your husband accepts these beautiful positive changes you are going through. Congrats on losing the 82lbs, thats fantastic i sent you a friend request. Im a SAHM too and would love it if we could support each other

garrison626

33 SAHM here, too. 3 boys- 12, 9, 1.5
Ultimately wanting to lose 40ish lbs. Don't let others in your life keep you from your goals! You do you, girl.

skymningen

Not that I don't understand...but I have to bring a but.
If you don't actually want to go back into the workforce, what brought you to this goal? Is it money? Is it the scary idea of being home alone in the morning? Because if this is just a "set up" way to show them that mom also works, take your time. Take your time to become a better you, cope with your anxiety. Do the next big step when you are really ready for it. No sooner, no later.

LKArgh

mahazelwood wrote: »

I'm 33, a SAHM of 3 kids 14, 11, & 3. Looking for support and friends. I started at 346lbs. So far Im down 82 lbs. My goal weight is 200- because like many women, I don't want to be small, I just want to feel healthy and live to help raise my future grandbabies. Ive always been big, never lost weight intentionally, & stuck around 300 most of my adult life. I havent been 200 lbs since I was 12. I've learned how emotional of a journey this really is, and how you have to be your own cheerleader if youre going to do it right.. but I'm hitting a lull lately and I think it's because I know I'm changing as a person..the type of person I'm trying to become isn't supported by the type person I've been all my life. My youngest is starting preschool next year, at which point I'm hoping to have met my goal weight (or be darn close) and get back into the work force. But Im meeting opposition with this (myself being one of them) From hubby's perspective I'm fine to lose just 20 more lbs and stop losing weight. He definitely supports my cause for health, just prefers some "wide in his glide".. but it may go deeper than that. When me going back to work came up, it was met with a cold "ok we won't talk about this again til next year" Alright, well I'll mark my calendar then..? I guess because now I have goals that go beyond the homefront, this bothers him and I get it- but it all scares the $#@% out of me, to be honest. Mostly for social anxiety reasons. I don't want to work, I enjoy being a housewife. BUT, I'm trying to be a better wife, a better mom for our kids, a better me. however I'm beginning to feel like I'm walking into a gunfight with a supersoaker..

Have you considered therapy? The issues you describe are far too complex to get meaningful replies on a forum. To clarify, because the tone on written messages is often misinterpreted, I am not being sarcastic or anything, I have personally found great help in therapy when being at crossroads in my life, helping me set priorities.
To focus on the topic of weight alone, and since health is a huge issue, also for your kids sake, it is one of the few circumstences where I would highly recommend ignoring both your husband's preferences (health is always more important than anything else) and your own perspective (being obese from childhood skews your perception of healthy) and aim for a healthy BMI as a first generic goal, or finetune this with your dr.

RodaRose

mahazelwood wrote: »

IMy youngest is starting preschool next year, at which point I'm hoping to have met my goal weight (or be darn close) and get back into the work force. But Im meeting opposition with this (myself being one of them) From hubby's perspective I'm fine to lose just 20 more lbs and stop losing weight. He definitely supports my cause for health, just prefers some "wide in his glide".. but it may go deeper than that. When me going back to work came up, it was met with a cold "ok we won't talk about this again til next year" Alright, well I'll mark my calendar then..? I guess because now I have goals that go beyond the homefront, this bothers him and I get it- but it all scares the $#@% out of me, to be honest. Mostly for social anxiety reasons. I don't want to work, I enjoy being a housewife. BUT, I'm trying to be a better wife, a better mom for our kids, a better me. however I'm beginning to feel like I'm walking into a gunfight with a supersoaker..

You are doing fantastic. Focus on the weight loss you have achieved.
Often our loved ones are not used to the new thinner look. He will get used to it.

=-=-
You have options open to you. For now, stay home and enjoy that while you keep losing weight.
You do not have to talk to your husband about working outside the house, especially if it bothers him and you mostly want to stay home for now anyway.

Good luck to you.