Bad Influences

rh1rh9405

Hi all - just here to rant about a certain person (my boyfriend) being a fairly bad influence. He's a 6'2" rugby player who easily scarfs down 4,000 calories a day (on average!) and - to make it even more unfair - he's lean as a bean (roughly 10-15% body fat). All this eating on his part is making it pretty difficult to control my own portion sizes and diet as (when I'm round his place) we'll eat plates and plates of food. It's also really difficult to restrain myself when he's munching on Haribos and I'm stuck with celery sticks . Of course, he doesn't mean to make my diet more of a misery - and I can't exactly ask him to eat less - it's just something I grouch about if I'm in a mood.
Anybody else got their own Bad Influences? Perhaps you've even got some advice on how to deal with them?

Andy10725

It's a test of self discipline as well as being understanding of your partner. Just gotta stay in the game and control what you eat.
I am the cook for my family of 4. Kids are still growing and they eat more than my maintenance calories portion. My wife can have late night snacks and still keep the weight off. These do impact me from time to time. But it's just as hard on them as well. They know what I am doing at the same time they can't quit understand what's necessary for me to keep my weight down. I hate to be that person who makes the whole family tippy toe all the time when they try to get their food and snack. In the end, I just tried different things until i found those bottom lines that i needed to stay on to continue to lose weight. For me, I just stick on the basic. My macro ratio or daily cal limit. Granted it's not the most efficient weight loss diet, but it keep everyone at ease. I don't mind having McDonald with them from time to time. I just shared fries from my youngest boy's meal and have black coffee. I cook red meat and I eat red meat, but I make sure what I eat is under the cal count. For me, after almost 2 months of this, I just got used to it. They can do their Friday n weekend piggy out. I'll just have roasted almond and it doesn't impact my mood.
So I guess the burden is on you to cut down the portion while your bf eat from party bowl.

TavistockToad

rh1rh9405 wrote: »

Hi all - just here to rant about a certain person (my boyfriend) being a fairly bad influence. He's a 6'2" rugby player who easily scarfs down 4,000 calories a day (on average!) and - to make it even more unfair - he's lean as a bean (roughly 10-15% body fat). All this eating on his part is making it pretty difficult to control my own portion sizes and diet as (when I'm round his place) we'll eat plates and plates of food. It's also really difficult to restrain myself when he's munching on Haribos and I'm stuck with celery sticks . Of course, he doesn't mean to make my diet more of a misery - and I can't exactly ask him to eat less - it's just something I grouch about if I'm in a mood.
Anybody else got their own Bad Influences? Perhaps you've even got some advice on how to deal with them?

sounds like a handy excuse to me...

my husband is currently bulking... and even when he's not he eats more than me... so what?! i'll just do me thanks.

fit some haribo into your weekly calories if you're that bothered!

flonarosie

My husband is the same! Lean as a bean too - he used to play football so I thought he was burning all the calories that way but he gave up this summer and has actually lost a couple of pounds since May....!
He has the worst diet - fish & chips, takeaway pizzas, chocolate, frosties for breakfast... all the tempting stuff.
I put on a stone since we got together, and I had a baby 5 months ago so another stone to lose.
Just back to MFP this week and determined to go my own way with food and leave him to his junk for a while!!! To be fair, he is supportive but like you say it doesn't feel nice being the party pooper all the time.
Last time he got a pizza I had 1 slice with salad and potatoes and it actually felt fine, wasn't tempted for more. So when I'm really feeling like caving in & having what he's having I think that will be my tactic - steal a bit of his and load up with healthy stuff then I won't feel like I'm totally missing out!
Good luck!!!

amusedmonkey

@Andy10725 has the right attitude for this, and it's what I try to do.

It isn't easy when things feel unfair, and the more you compare the more unfair it feels. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but the sooner you accept that some things are bound to be unfair the sooner you will learn to work within your bounds without losing your mind. Don't restrict too much, but don't slip completely out of control. What a delicate balance. It does get a bit easier with time. It's okay to have a small temper tantrum in your head every now and then, but make sure to allow it without allowing it to take over you or affect your progress.

RamboKitty87

I know how you feel to some degree, I often like to eat my dinner at 5pm and my partner gets back from work at 6pm and has his dinner and I am sat there wanting to kill him for it lol, he is also trying to eat better but does have little treats within his calories which I cannot have, I have found making up a pot of chopped up fruit to munch through slowly as he scoffs his dinner down does help me to stay sane it helps with the sweet cravings or if your more into savoury, make yourself some popcorn up and add herbs and spices, a 10g - 20g is quite reasonable in calories also, it just helps to curb the hunger a little when people are eating around you, just have to gain more will power but the little healthier snacks will help a lot, best of luck to you

Wolfger

rh1rh9405 wrote: »

Hi all - just here to rant about a certain person (my boyfriend) being a fairly bad influence. He's a 6'2" rugby player who easily scarfs down 4,000 calories a day

Anybody else got their own Bad Influences? Perhaps you've even got some advice on how to deal with them?

Maybe instead of looking at him as a bad influence for what he eats, maybe you could focus on how much he trains and works out and look at him as a good influence as you work to increase your fitness and burn more calories?

jesspen91

My bad influences are my friends from uni. I usually see them about once a month and whenever we meet up our plans always revolve around food and alcohol. I have never been very dominant in the group so its really difficult to try to persuade them that we can do other activities that don't involve consuming 1000s of calories of ice cream, cheese and wine! I don't want to be the person who spoils the fun. So I usually just try and plan for those days with extra activity and lower calories during the week.

My partner is actually a great influence. When we eat at home we are generally very healthy (barring the odd craft beer). He generally eats the same calorie controlled portions as me even though his TDEE will be bigger because he's taller than me and a man. Strangely, I've lost 20lbs and he's hardly lost any weight. He must eat quite a lot during the day.

deputy_randolph

My husband is 6'3, 210. I'm 5'3, 135 currently. When I was bulking, I was eating more than he was eating. He complained that he couldn't keep up...boohoo.

I'd spent 17 years eating less than him and learning about appropriate portion size and self-control. I could always eat the same foods...just significantly less of it.