When achieving your goal isn't enough-- then what?

SandraNancy

I feel silly even writing this, but hoping others have experienced the same and can tell me what they did.

So, I've hit my goals: all of them. I'm 5 lbs lower than the weight goal I had set, and I've hit my measurement goals for bust, waist, belly, hips, thighs, you name it. I should be thrilled but I find myself kind of empty-feeling.

I love that I'm able to fit my smallest clothes again, I'm healthier, I feel good... but somehow it's not enough? I don't know what I thought would happen if I achieved these magical numbers. Maybe I imagined I would be a different person, and now I find that I'm the same person, just in a smaller frame.

Has anyone else hit their goals and found themselves kind of "meh" about it? How did you turn that frown upside-down?

Ironandwine69

Hmm it's never enough. I've reached many many goals, yet I keep setting new ones. It's good to challenge yourself.
With that said, it's also very good to take a moment and enjoy the satisfaction from reaching a goal.

sllm1

Set different goals - more fitness related than body size?

VioletRojo

Set new goals. Do you run? Do you want to run? If so, train for a race. If running isn't your thing pick a different activity and set a goal related to that activity. It could be anything from fitness to pottery, just pick something.

Rincewind_1965

A slight depression after having reached a long-term goal is normal.

I got rid of this by giving me new goals that will take some time to be completed:
1. Stay within my "Goal-Weight-Zone" for twelve months (two more months to go).
2. Prepare for my first Marathon ( Apr. 2018)

Once these are completed I will have no difficulties of finding new goals.

What was it you wanted to lose weight for?
Which of these secondary goals are still incomplete?
Anything else you "always" wanted to do, but, for what reason ever, couldn't? (This doesn't have to be weight-related!)
In other words: Create your personal "Bucket-List"
But never try to run away from yourself. Wherever you go,the first person you will see there is you.

brookielaw

Find a new goal For me it was to complete a triathlon. Then comes improving times. Then increasing distances. I don't / can't run but we do monthly family 5Ks and shoot to improve times (and collect bling.). Try new activities. I just discovered that I LOVE the stand-up paddleboard. Who knew? Enjoy!

faramelee

It's not a silly thing to say at all. You've probably been concentrating on these goals for quite some time so now that you've reached them you feel that your sense of 'purpose' in this aspect of your life has gone. But I agree with @Ironandwine69 and @sllm1 you need to refocus somewhere else. Is there a fitness goal or target that you'd like to go for? I had never run so decided to try that with the C25k program. I finally ran a 5k a week after my 41st birthday last year and it looks like I'm participating in a 10k later his month (though in fairness this one has kind of sprung up on me). If I can't run 10k it's ok, I can walk in places and to run it can be my next goal.

You'll come up with something, best of luck!

French_Peasant

Size, which is a fleshly, materialistic attribute that can be put on and taken off like an expensive coat or cheap shoes, doesn't change our personality, intellect, wit, emotions, memories, scars, or the other myriad psychological things that make us our own self--any more than changing your coat or shoes does.

It's interesting to see someone who is surprised that their sense of self hasn't changed--so many times we read about people who have lost all the weight, and are deeply hurt because they start getting attention from people who didn't even know they existed previously, even though they are the exact same person.

Other times, we hear about people who HAVE changed, in that they become predatory when they get thin and ripped--but it's not so much changing the essence of who they are, than it is bringing out the jerk that was always inside of them, but now has free rein due to a physical change.

So don't lament that you are the same person in a smaller box--it's a GOOD thing, unless you have painful things in your past that you expected to be solved by weight change: That, unfortunately, is much harder work than losing a few pounds.

Maybe it would help you feel like you were truly "there" if you had a graduation ceremony of sorts--did you set a big reward for when you met your big goal? Like, a new bikini and a beach trip?

I also agree with the many people who suggest focusing on fitness goals. By the time I reached maintenance, I was so preoccupied with lifting and other fitness activities, I found those to be far more interesting than having lost the weight, and that aspect was not particularly celebrated and quickly forgotten. But, I'm not really an excited-about-milestones kind of persona anyway, other than the day I was married and had my babies.

Congratulations on your loss. And good luck with your next challenge, maintenance, and hopefully some fun and exciting fitness goals.

SandraNancy

I can't tell you how helpful all your feedback is. I think you're right, a new fitness-related goal is something I need to find ASAP. Without a goal in mind now I feel at loose ends. There's a 30-day yoga challenge coming up at the studio I go to-- maybe that's something for me to consider.

I like the suggestion of a little celebration for reaching this level. My friend's wedding is at the end of the month and I bought a new dress to show off my "assets", if you will, so perhaps that will be my fun debut.

Thanks for the help, guys, and for not telling me to suck it up and be happy about reaching my goals. That's what I've been saying to myself all morning so was very nice to hear something a bit more constructive.

MarylandRose

SandraNancy wrote: »

So, I've hit my goals: all of them. I'm 5 lbs lower than the weight goal I had set, and I've hit my measurement goals for bust, waist, belly, hips, thighs, you name it. I should be thrilled but I find myself kind of empty-feeling.

I love that I'm able to fit my smallest clothes again, I'm healthier, I feel good... but somehow it's not enough? I don't know what I thought would happen if I achieved these magical numbers. Maybe I imagined I would be a different person, and now I find that I'm the same person, just in a smaller frame.

Has anyone else hit their goals and found themselves kind of "meh" about it? How did you turn that frown upside-down?

Maybe fitness goals aren't the only goals you should set next?
Was some part of you hoping that if you lost weight, some other things in your life would change? Or is there some other part of your life where you're unhappy?

Historically, when I hit goals but was meh about the accomplishment, it was usually because on some level I wasn't happy with some other aspect of my life. I hated being unemployed, so it didn't matter that I'd hit my goal weight. My relationship was clearly ending but I didn't want to lose the friendship (although I knew I would), so I wasn't thrilled about a new PR. It wasn't exactly that I had some magical thinking that reaching the given goal would fix those things, but it felt like I was changing so much and it was weird that nothing else was changing.

Separating these things by specifically celebrating the completed goal helped and reminded me how much work I'd put in to achieve it. That was really helpful to me in getting unstuck in other parts of my life: I am a person who works hard, as shown by achieving X goal, and I can apply that determination to Y problem and see if that shakes anything loose.

Congrats on reaching your goals (and then some!) - I hope the dress debut is awesome.

DebLaBounty

I did the Couch to 5K program, then ran a 5K race. That was really the only goal, aside from weight loss, that I'd set, and felt a little lost after I achieved it because I didn't know what to do with myself next. So I completely relate to what you're going through. I think the advice you've received from the other posters is spot on. I, too, will come up with some other goals. One thing you've probably discovered about yourself is that you are disciplined and determined. Whatever goals you set now, I'm sure you'll achieve them!

Yoyoghurt

So helpful reading this! Thank you and everyone who replied to SandraNancy. Some very interesting comments to reflect on.

darlamiller

It's kinda like Christmas, you plan , decorate , shop, bake , shop more, write cards wrap gifts and then in one short day Christmas and that giddy feeling is gone!!! So what
Do you do ?? Move on to the next holiday, project etc. just keep moving on , finding interests , and stay fit and healthy all along the way !!!

SandraNancy

Took the excellent advice from you fine people and signed up for that yoga 30 day challenge. Pretty excited about it! I already do yoga 4-5 times a week, but this will push me to do 30 classes in 30 days. Nice way to head into fall. Thanks guys!

cwolfman13

Most of my goals are more fitness related.