I 'm eating because he's cheating

dlm4mom

Just wondering if there are other women here also struggling like me.

Renaissance_Turtle

Wait, he's cheating on you with someone else?

tiptoethruthetulips

Please value yourself greater than he does. Take steps to resolve the issue, if he chooses not to stop cheating, you can choose to go.

meganpettigrew86

I told my friend with a cheating husband to put money in a secret bank account every time he was unfaithful so when she finally left him she would have a nest egg

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

What will that achieve?

You can't hide from it, you know it is happening.

Start dealing with it, do you have friends you can talk to?

Eating really isn't the solution.

Alatariel75

Sounds like a country song...

kommodevaran

Alatariel75 wrote: »

Sounds like a country song...

I can hear the twang

KeepOnMovjng

Use his cheating as your motivation. Get out of there if he can't be faithful, you deserve better and instead of using the food as a comfort focus on the body you want and pug the energy into that. Good luck

gcibsthom

You are looking for comfort in food....it's a false friend. When my first wife was cheating I took up jogging. Got into shape...While my getting into shape did not win her back (because I still didn't make enough money for her tastes..) she did get jealous of the women I was dating. Drove her crazy. She finally wanted back and I said no because I wanted someone loyal and who wanted me for me, not my bank account or anything else. In essence...make the payback your goal..replace food with exercise...that is where your real comfort will be. It is something you can do just for YOU...

Ironandwine69

But you know...so it still considered cheating at this point?

Seriously though, deal with the problem.

jgnatca

I haven't had a cheating husband but my ex was abusive. It didn't get better until I left him.

Might you imagine a future for yourself that does not include this guy? What might that look like? What sort of things might you want to be doing?

Worrying about eating in the middle of this miserable situation is kind of like counting fire extinguishers when your apartment is on fire. Step one, get out of the apartment before you get burned.

moxie1962

Ironandwine69 wrote: »

But you know...so it still considered cheating at this point?

Seriously though, deal with the problem.

Cheating is doing something behind someones back. He isn't being honest with her, and she hasn't told him to his face if she is ok with it...so yeah...it is still cheating.

4legsRbetterthan2

I can totally understand emotional eating, I have been guilty of it in the past and fall back into that pitfall every now and then still. You just have to take a hard look at your life and ask what is this really solving. The food isn't actually fixing anything, and for me it was just making myself feel worse about myself, a path I knew I needed to stop from going down.

As for the cheating, time to move on and move out. I don't know all the details but from the little blip here I am thinking things are beyond the point of saving. Hope you have a way to get out, if not please find help in doing so.

~best wishes

GlassAngyl

I know the pain. I did the same thing and tried to salvage my marriage for our kids for 5 years. He went out to have his fun, I gained weight. Then he brought two girls home at 3am and into our bedroom. He said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm married."

.. And the girls freaked out. They were embarrassed and horrified. I realized then that I was done with him. I calmed them down and told them they could have him if they wanted (not surprising that they didn't) and I made up the guest room for them.

Next day I made them breakfast and introduced them to my kids. They stayed with me for almost a year and my husband hated me for it. In that almost year I dropped over 100 pounds hanging out with them.

Sadly I made that same mistake with the next few boyfriends. Not because they were necessarily cheating either. I had trust issues after that and assumed that guys get bored after awhile. I made their lives pretty miserable. I gained the weight back in every case and lost it again after leaving them.

I've been single now for 5 years and love it. I needed time to mature. To show myself that i don't need anyone to make me happy. I believe now I could handle a relationship, only, I've gotten so use to it just being me and my kids. I'll give it another 2 years when my youngest is 18 and CONSIDER dating again.

Ironandwine69

GlassAngyl wrote: »

I know the pain. I did the same thing and tried to salvage my marriage for our kids for 5 years. He went out to have his fun, I gained weight. Then he brought two girls home at 3am and into our bedroom. He said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm married."

.. And the girls freaked out. They were embarrassed and horrified. I realized then that I was done with him. I calmed them down and told them they could have him if they wanted (not surprising that they didn't) and I made up the guest room for them.

Next day I made them breakfast and introduced them to my kids. They stayed with me for almost a year and my husband hated me for it. In that almost year I dropped over 100 pounds hanging out with them.

Sadly I made that same mistake with the next few boyfriends. Not because they were necessarily cheating either. I had trust issues after that and assumed that guys get bored after awhile. I made their lives pretty miserable. I gained the weight back in every case and lost it again after leaving them.

I've been single now for 5 years and love it. I needed time to mature. To show myself that i don't need anyone to make me happy. I believe now I could handle a relationship, only, I've gotten so use to it just being me and my kids. I'll give it another 2 years when my youngest is 18 and CONSIDER dating again.

Wow. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. That's horrible.
No man is more worth than self respect. Ever. Good for you to get out of that relationship.

And I know us women think we are trying to make it work for our kids, but kids are better off being raised by separated happy parents than a miserable family.

amtyrell

Does your reaction make anything better?does it stop his cheating? Does it make your life better long term?
Probably you answered no to those so find something that makes a yes answer.
That could be marriage counseling personal consoling divorce ect

Heather4448

So drop him. What are you waiting for?

LiftHeavyThings27105

Emotional eating is clearly a sign of 'comfort'. @dlm4mom When you are ready - and no one can tell YOU when you are ready - try to turn this to a positive thing. I know, I know....it seems like your world is all twisted and turned upside down now. He betrayed you. He betrayed your family. Well, there are two sides to every story. But that is a totally different conversation. Take this somehow as a positive thing....you know his true colors now so you can decide how you are going to handle this. And, no one can comment on how you handle this.

I like the suggestion to move from emotional eating to training. Whatever the situation is, wouldn't it be great to make a life style change?

LiftHeavyThings27105

TOTAL SIDEBAR -

@GlassAngyl EPIC! Good for you. When you are ready, I am on the other side of NC! LOL! Nah, girl! Just messing. But love the way you said "F**k me? Really? F**K YOU!" and turned the tables on him.

GlassAngyl

CWShultz27105 wrote: »

TOTAL SIDEBAR -

@GlassAngyl EPIC! Good for you. When you are ready, I am on the other side of NC! LOL! Nah, girl! Just messing. But love the way you said "F**k me? Really? F**K YOU!" and turned the tables on him.

Thank you. Sometimes our mistakes are just ways to teach us to be stronger.