Help! Emotional eating and on rollercoaster

tanny20171

I'm an emotional eater, recently decided to make a change and lose the weight.

My ex however (whom I still love) has now met someone else. We are friends, so he has spoken to me about it. He went on a date with her on Friday and I am churned up. I feel sick thinking of them together. What's worse is she is everything I'm not. I'm 32, she's 22. I'm overweight, she's very slim. I'm brunette, she's blonde. It makes me feel sick to think of them and I have spent this whole weekend comfort eating. I feel in a constant tailspin and keep stuffing my face. How can I stop this? X

impyimpyaj

Get out of the house. Get dressed, do your hair or whatever you do to make yourself feel cute, and get out somewhere that doesn't have food. Go to the library or the park and read. Or go to the movies but don't get snacks. Take a walk. Drink lots of water.

And honestly, if being friends with him makes you feel this bad, you may need to end the friendship. Friendships need to strengthen you, not tear you down. I'm sure he's nice and not hurting you on purpose, but you are hurting, and you don't need that.

CaliMomTeach

I just spent 3 days "emotional eating". I became very upset over some issues with my 11 year old son. I said to myself, "Forget logging and exercising. I am going to eat whatever the hell I want for a while." That was on Thursday. So on Friday, I had Five Guys with lots of fries, cookies and brownies at work, and more snacks at home. On Saturday, I bought carrot cake, and just ate a lot. The scale went up by almost 4 pounds! The truth is my overeating and lack of exercise did nothing to improve the situation I was upset about. It gave me a stomach ache last night. And about 4 extra pounds to deal with (I'm sure not actual fat gain, but still). No matter how much you comfort eat, it isn't going to change the situation with your ex. I guess only you can decide if it actually is comforting you and making you feel better and if it is worth the end result to you. At least that is what I am trying to tell myself right now. Me eating a lot and not staying on track is going to actually make me feel worse, not better. No matter how good the carrot cake, fries, and cheeseburger taste, I still have to deal with the parenting issues I face. Same with your situation. You still will have to eventually face your feelings and find a way to deal with an ex moving on. In general, I would not try to stay friends with an ex in your situation. It sounds too hurtful to you.

tanny20171

impyimpyaj wrote: »

Get out of the house. Get dressed, do your hair or whatever you do to make yourself feel cute, and get out somewhere that doesn't have food. Go to the library or the park and read. Or go to the movies but don't get snacks. Take a walk. Drink lots of water.

And honestly, if being friends with him makes you feel this bad, you may need to end the friendship. Friendships need to strengthen you, not tear you down. I'm sure he's nice and not hurting you on purpose, but you are hurting, and you don't need that.

Thankyou. I get slightly obsessive so I've decided not to block as if he'd blocked me I'd spend al day on social media hunting for clues. It just made me feel like crap. Ex always said he liked curves and bigger women....he was bigger also but lost weight and beefed up and now has some blonde tiny girl on his arm.....just makes me feel like it was all a lie

kerr0920

I know the hurt all too well of seeing the one you love with someone else & it sucks. You need to make a change in your life to better yourself! Emotional eating is horrible, and one day TLC will be knocking on your door wanting to shoot an episode of my 600 pound life. I used to do the same thing, and I gained 100 pounds.. I don't even know how I let it get that bad. So my advice is, Screw Him, Screw His new girlfriend, and Get yourself in shape! Do it for you, do it for your health, do it for your self esteem, and do it so you can wear the cute clothes

tanny20171

kerr0920 wrote: »

I know the hurt all too well of seeing the one you love with someone else & it sucks. You need to make a change in your life to better yourself! Emotional eating is horrible, and one day TLC will be knocking on your door wanting to shoot an episode of my 600 pound life. I used to do the same thing, and I gained 100 pounds.. I don't even know how I let it get that bad. So my advice is, Screw Him, Screw His new girlfriend, and Get yourself in shape! Do it for you, do it for your health, do it for your self esteem, and do it so you can wear the cute clothes

kerr0920 wrote: »

I know the hurt all too well of seeing the one you love with someone else & it sucks. You need to make a change in your life to better yourself! Emotional eating is horrible, and one day TLC will be knocking on your door wanting to shoot an episode of my 600 pound life. I used to do the same thing, and I gained 100 pounds.. I don't even know how I let it get that bad. So my advice is, Screw Him, Screw His new girlfriend, and Get yourself in shape! Do it for you, do it for your health, do it for your self esteem, and do it so you can wear the cute clothes

Thankyou

tanny20171

CaliMomTeach wrote: »

I just spent 3 days "emotional eating". I became very upset over some issues with my 11 year old son. I said to myself, "Forget logging and exercising. I am going to eat whatever the hell I want for a while." That was on Thursday. So on Friday, I had Five Guys with lots of fries, cookies and brownies at work, and more snacks at home. On Saturday, I bought carrot cake, and just ate a lot. The scale went up by almost 4 pounds! The truth is my overeating and lack of exercise did nothing to improve the situation I was upset about. It gave me a stomach ache last night. And about 4 extra pounds to deal with (I'm sure not actual fat gain, but still). No matter how much you comfort eat, it isn't going to change the situation with your ex. I guess only you can decide if it actually is comforting you and making you feel better and if it is worth the end result to you. At least that is what I am trying to tell myself right now. Me eating a lot and not staying on track is going to actually make me feel worse, not better. No matter how good the carrot cake, fries, and cheeseburger taste, I still have to deal with the parenting issues I face. Same with your situation. You still will have to eventually face your feelings and find a way to deal with an ex moving on. In general, I would not try to stay friends with an ex in your situation. It sounds too hurtful to you.

This is so true, it's only gonna make me feel worse not better. I need to find another outlet. Thanks for your reply x

Psychgrrl

And social media stalking is not "another outlet." That won't help you, either.

Punishing yourself with food isn't going to change anything, but you know that and did it anyway. Most of us have at some point and time. You're human, feeling bad is what we do sometimes. It's how we get past those feelings that makes the difference.

Might be time for some professional help to support you in developing those coping behaviors. Many of us are taught from childhood that food = love and comfort. It's logical you would try and self-soothe in that way. Just not good for you and you deserve so much better!

tanny20171

Psychgrrl wrote: »

And social media stalking is not "another outlet." That won't help you, either.

Punishing yourself with food isn't going to change anything, but you know that and did it anyway. Most of us have at some point and time. You're human, feeling bad is what we do sometimes. It's how we get past those feelings that makes the difference.

Might be time for some professional help to support you in developing those coping behaviors. Many of us are taught from childhood that food = love and comfort. It's logical you would try and self-soothe in that way. Just not good for you and you deserve so much better!

Thanks, this is absolutely true food was always a reward. My mum would call junk food "goodies" and it would be there as a reward, as a treat, if you were happy, if you were sad.....counselling is an idea I never thought About but would probably help, thankyou x

rheddmobile

It helps if you find some new comfort foods which are more suitable for your calorie goals. Mine is an almond milk latte with cinnamon and dark chocolate. Flavored teas are also good - zero calorie and make you feel better.

If you feel like stuffing your face, find a song you love and make yourself get up and dance. It's impossible to eat and dance at the same time.

Good books, reading comics, talking to friends - hopefully friends who won't focus on your ex and his new thang. Whatever you need to distract yourself. This too shall pass. Sorry you have to deal with such a sucky situation. You will be okay.

xprincesszeldax

tanny20171 wrote: »

impyimpyaj wrote: »

Get out of the house. Get dressed, do your hair or whatever you do to make yourself feel cute, and get out somewhere that doesn't have food. Go to the library or the park and read. Or go to the movies but don't get snacks. Take a walk. Drink lots of water.

And honestly, if being friends with him makes you feel this bad, you may need to end the friendship. Friendships need to strengthen you, not tear you down. I'm sure he's nice and not hurting you on purpose, but you are hurting, and you don't need that.

Thankyou. I get slightly obsessive so I've decided not to block as if he'd blocked me I'd spend al day on social media hunting for clues. It just made me feel like crap. Ex always said he liked curves and bigger women....he was bigger also but lost weight and beefed up and now has some blonde tiny girl on his arm.....just makes me feel like it was all a lie

I know what you mean. The same thing happened to me and my ex. I decided to stop talking to him even though we had initially agreed to be friends. A "friendship "with him was not worth the harm and hurt I was going through. I'm an emotional eater as well.

GemstoneofHeart

Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Nony_Mouse

Is this the doctor 'boyfriend' from your previous profile that treated you like crap and wouldn't be seen in public with you?

Uisceuisce

So he can contact you whenever he wants....that's nice for him, he gets the best of both worlds, but I don't see what's in it for you? Time to focus on you. I don't want this to come across as harsh but he s not at home crying about you. Buy yourself a nice top/shoes/bag/make up whatever makes you feel good and plan a trip away to look forward to. Break ups are horrible but now you have the chance to meet someone very special.