Feeling discouraged :(

jessie_03_17

Hello all! I have started this month with running/walking. I originally started with walking two miles at it took me well over 30 minutes. Recently I started doing 3 miles and just tonight was able to complete it in 31 minutes. When I got home my husband was very proud of me and my progress. He then decided he should really get serious again about working out and would go and do the same route. He is much more fit than I am, he play hockey every year and works out fairly regularly so i knew he would beat my time. However, he finished in 24 minutes! I thought I had come so far and can't even begin to imagine doing 3 miles in 24 minutes! Now I am feeling discouraged because I just feel like I will never be able to do what he did. When I expressed this to him he was nothing but supportive of me and reminded me of how far I have actually come and told me I needed to be proud of my time so far. He even said he would run with me at my pace until I met my goals. Anyway, I guess this post is just me venting. Anyone who has any tips or words of motivation please feel free to share though! Thanks!

cranium853

Look at the guy! He must be six inches taller than you are. That means that every step he takes is probably a foot more than if you took the same step. OK. so geometry was a long time ago but you can figure out the math. Of course he did it faster because he took giant steps compared to yours. Same exertion of energy and he will always outdistance- or in this case because the distance was the same- undertime you. If you and your kid take the same number of steps, who wins the race? Um, that would be you...

The only person to EVER compete against is yourself. My spouse- an otherwise smart guy- runs marathons for a hobby. He is never going to come in the top 10, or in the top 1000 in a crowd of 30,000. But he wins every time he puts his shoes on because he keeps trying. To start is to win. Give yourself a little kindness here.

shirleygirl910

This is not a contest. If you compare yourself to others you will always find fault in yourself. We have a tendency to down ourselves. This is trying to get healthy and stay healthy.

If you are keeping a journal of your progress you can go back and see how far you've come. Celebrate your achievements.

chelc1105

My husband is the same way. Everything I do he can do better.

BUT the point is, you are doing it, and you are doing awesome. You cannot compare yourself.

Hopefully this helps:

Me: Can barely run a few minutes straight without stopping
Husband: Can run a mile and not even feel winded.
Me: Completes Jillian Michaels Killer Abs Workout #2 daily.
Husband: Cannot complete Jillian Michaels Killer Abs Workout #1 - he gives up 5min in

LOL! Hope that helps a bit

lexoxoc

Glad he is supportive and willing to help you meet your goals, that's a great husband you have there it seems!

Unfortunately, it's very difficult not to compare ourselves to others. BUT, our journey is just that, OURS. Don't worry about what you can't do, remember what can do and have done!

Also, men are generally built to run/walk faster than women, so don't beat yourself up too much

Lastly, CONGRATS on kicking butt with your running/walking achievements!

bevsdietfor2011

you are doing great!!! Keep up the good work!! you are the only one who matters and you compete against yourself only so that you can better yourself. We will probably never be as good as someone else but we can always be our very best!!! feel free to add me if you would like. You can do this!!!

SoozeE512

I've also been feeling discouraged lately...but I've been feeling discouraged because I've been having a lot of leg pains. I've been to doctor visits, had all sorts of scans done, been told I have a bone lesion, but I have to wait another month now for another doctor to tell me exactly what that means for me to have a bone lesion. I don't even know if that's the source of the pains or just what they happen to see on the scans - no one will tell me. The thought of limping around for another month after months of being in pain and not being given a boot or crutches or anything is devastating to me. I would consider myself somewhat athletic and now I can't so much as go for a five minute walk without ending up in excruciating pain.

So, be grateful that you're able to go for your walks, even if you're not as fast as one other person, you're still faster than the you of a month ago. And at least you have the ability to do the exercise you want. Quite frankly, I'm jealous!

Scubanana7

I had to reread your first two sentences abou 5 times to make sure I was reading correctly. You 'just started this month' and you 'started' with 2 miles in 30 minutes?????? When I started walking, and I mean WALKING, I could do 1 mile in 30 minutes! and you are up to 3 miles in 30 minutes!!! I guess I am completely missing the point why that is not good to you???

and you just started this month......maybe dig deep and find some patience and who knows how fast you will be in 2 more months! and I do not mean that rudely at all, so please don't think I did. I am just amazed and confused. and you are ROCKING IT.

adiostrasero

He's a DUUUUDE. Dudes run faster than women, on average. Don't compare yourself to anyone - especially not a guy!!!

If you're going to make comparisons, think of how YOU have progressed. This is about you - no one else.

JDHINAZ

If you need comparisons to make yourself feel good....
This morning it took me 50 minutes to JOG 3 1/2 miles. (Do the math, see who would have won that footrace)
There, now you can feel proud of yourself again.

BTW, I feel darn proud of myself. I've taken 2 minutes off my time! Celebrate what YOU DO. I think you've done awesome!

watfordjc

My best mate is 6' 1" and one of my original goals was to be able to walk as fast as he can. We're both male, he is 7 inches taller than me, he has low body fat (I'm working on that), but I do have powerful legs. Will I ever be able to walk at 6 mph? Extremely unlikely but I am up to averaging 3.9 mph (up from 2.4 mph*) and I can keep up with him at 4.4 mph unless it is over a long distance (but not at that crazy speed he was going at last Friday - thank God for window shoppers getting in his way).

* Edit: Up from 2.4 mph rather than 2.8 mph, just double-checked my log.

Compare yourself to you. Losing excess fat and regularly pushing yourself will, as you have seen, increase your speed. Some things might not be physiologically or genetically possible, but as long as improvements are possible (e.g. can lose some fat, increase power of legs, continue to work on improving endurance and speed, etc.) you don't know it is impossible nor how close to it you can get. With training he could probably increase his speed too - unless you are comparing yourself to your identical twin/triplet/quadruplet/etc focus on personal bests (in fact, comparing yourself to someone genetically identical to you might even hold you back).

I assume if you started doing some sprint work you wouldn't feel discouraged after comparing your time to Bolt's? Susan Armenta's 50 km racewalking personal record is 4:39:39 - good for her, but "fastest female racewalker on the planet" is not one of my goals and, without knowing her, "do my best"/"beat my personal record" are probably more important than "come first"/"beat Curt Clausen's personal record of 3:48:04".

jessie_03_17

Thank you everyone for the support. It is sooooo easy for me to get discouraged because I am frustrated that I have let myself get so out of shape. However, I am going to try and focus on my progress rather than how far I let myself go prior to deciding to make a change. All of your kind words help a lot to focus in the positive, so thank you!

Epyhon

Don't be discouraged. You are doing great!!! The fact that he supports you is fantastic. Keep at it and you''ll get faster and be healthier.

sarahrbraun

Hello all! I have started this month with running/walking. I originally started with walking two miles at it took me well over 30 minutes. Recently I started doing 3 miles and just tonight was able to complete it in 31 minutes. When I got home my husband was very proud of me and my progress. He then decided he should really get serious again about working out and would go and do the same route. He is much more fit than I am, he play hockey every year and works out fairly regularly so i knew he would beat my time. However, he finished in 24 minutes! I thought I had come so far and can't even begin to imagine doing 3 miles in 24 minutes! Now I am feeling discouraged because I just feel like I will never be able to do what he did. When I expressed this to him he was nothing but supportive of me and reminded me of how far I have actually come and told me I needed to be proud of my time so far. He even said he would run with me at my pace until I met my goals. Anyway, I guess this post is just me venting. Anyone who has any tips or words of motivation please feel free to share though! Thanks!

Don't beat yourself up! You've made excellent progress in less than a month.

Keep his 8 minute mile in mind as a goal...if you push yourself a little every time you walk, you WILL hit that goal.

Men are built differently, and certain fitness activities are going to be much easier for them.

My trainer is a 26 year old man...I am a 38 year old woman. He pushes me super hard, and I always feel like I've done a sucky job at completing the workouts. Last week a regular at the gym approached me and told me that I am doing a GREAT job at my workouts, and that I am training like a man

Mayra_121

I agree with everyone, I think it is great that your hubby is supportive. Remember he might beat your time because he has been active longer, you don't have to feel discouraged because of his time keep focusing on what you have done so far and the changes that you have made. I know it can be frustrating but the key is to stick through it and give yourself personal goals. Instead of comparing yourself with others and feeling down look at it as a motivation on where you can get one day. Don't give up, keep your head up high because you are doing great. I bet you might have some friends that are not able to do what you have done.

jgetzler

There is one thing I learned when I started running. Never compare yourself to anyone else. There will always be someone better, faster, stronger. My goal is always to beat my best time and it feels incredible. You will never be happy with yourself if you compare yourself to anyone, your husband, your friends. Keep up the hard work. You may never run a 24 minute mile but you will be the best you that you can be.

clarkeje1

I have had the same thing happen. I'll be running for weeks or months regularly and my bf won't even be working out. Then when we decide to run together he'll say "You'll probably beat me today, I haven't worked out in forever." And he'll end up beating me and have to keep coming back for me. I think part of it is because he's taller and his stride is longer. But at least I'm glad he went running with me!

thrld

3 miles in 31 minutes? Wow. If you ran in my town's Turkey Trot, you would have beaten over 1,500 people (including me) .

Just remember - everybody runs their own race at their own pace.