Accountability - I messed up and owned it...for the first time!

mazmataz

I'm probably the absolute worst for lying to myself. Lying about how much I've eaten, how much I will eat, how many calories I've had, how much a workout burned...that I will actually work out (but tomorrow!). Not all of the time, or even the majority of the time, but my tricky mind is definitely one of my biggest obstacles to getting this in the bag.

Well I've been doing pretty well for the past few weeks...almost too well, or so the little devil of my shoulder thought. I had my healthy (and yummy!) salad for lunch today...I've been doing a mix of 16/8 intermittent fasting and OMAD (one meal a day), so whenever I have a tasty meal I savour it so much and tend to be really satisfied by it.

Alas, this afternoon I finished my meal, and I really, really, really wanted something sweet. Sometimes when this happens I'll just go all out on a 300 calorie chocolate bar and work it into my calories. For some reason, today I decided that I would try and save calories (ha!) and have a couple of Oreo cookies...at 45 calories a pop, a positively healthy option. So I bought a packet (MISTAKE!!!), popped them in my desk drawer and had two with my afternoon tea. But I knew they were there, all sweet, sugary, horrendous and addictive...and before the afternoon was out I'd had the WHOLE PACKET!!

As soon as the last morsel left the packet, the familiar swell of regret filled me. Now in days gone by, I would either have:

1. Pretended the whole thing never happened, not tracked it and gone about the rest of my day calorie counting in complete denial
2. Thrown the towel in entirely and gone on a full on unhealthy binge for the next few days

However today, I made the excruciating decision to work out how many calories I just consumed and entered it into my diary. With a very light dinner, I have just (just!) managed to stay within my calorie goal. And on top of that, I went for a run when I came in just to try and think of myself as healthy again.

32 years on this planet and there is a first for everything!

TL;DR - Binged. Tracked. Stayed within calorie goal. First time ever - feeling good about it! I recommend it!!

Panda8ach

Yes! This is fab....well done you

tinkerbellang83

mazmataz wrote: »

As soon as the last morsel left the packet, the familiar swell of regret filled me. Now in days gone by, I would either have:

1. Pretended the whole thing never happened, not tracked it and gone about the rest of my day calorie counting in complete denial
2. Thrown the towel in entirely and gone on a full on unhealthy binge for the next few days

However today, I made the excruciating decision to work out how many calories I just consumed and entered it into my diary. With a very light dinner, I have just (just!) managed to stay within my calorie goal. And on top of that, I went for a run when I came in just to try and think of myself as healthy again.

32 years on this planet and there is a first for everything!

TL;DR - Binged. Tracked. Stayed within calorie goal. First time ever - feeling good about it! I recommend it!!

I used to do exactly this, because I didn't realise how much of a tiny blip it was in the grand scheme of things, now that I understand that the weight gained after a binge is mostly water fluctuations caused by eating higher carbs percentages and sodium than normal and that it will vanish in a day or two and also that really even if I was to eat even double my allowance for a day or two, I would still be in a small deficit for the week, it no longer freaks me out.

I was a serial starter having used MFP since 2011 but would use it for about 10 days thinking I had to starve myself and then going on a mass binge because I was actually undereating and was soo hungry. Now I log everything, the good, bad, the incredibly ugly and have been for 263 days, I am almost 40lbs down and I feel like I have so much more control of my eating now that I have owned it and been honest with myself.

Well done for staying with it!