Need to whine. Eating with stress. Need Help. LONG

Cpirit07002

Okay, so I really just want/need to vent. It's kind of long. Sorry.
My weightloss journey has been ROUGH. Mostly because I would "try" everything I could (you know..."try"...as in kind of think about it but not really do that much) to lose weight. In January I went to visit my parents and my mom had really let herself go. She is diabetic and has a myriad of health issues included with that. It was really hard to see her after a year and I had to push her around in a wheel chair because she can't stand up very long and even walking from the car to the front door was tiring for her. It was so sad.

At that time, I made a resolution to really get myself in shape and knock it off with my crappy eating because I don't want to end up like my mom. I was so motivated. I got back home and my friend and I started Medifast in February and after 2 months I had lost 30 lbs. Then in April, my mom started getting bad again. Her eyes started bleeding again, she had another wound on her foot that wouldn't heal, she was sick all the time. I started going off Medifast slowly but surely...I started eating tortilla chips (a major trigger food)...and through the months of April and May, I slowly transitioned back to my old eating habits of mostly just junk. Now it's the end of July. I just got back from a 2 week visit with my mom again. She's even worse now. She fell and broke her kneecap and couldn't get surgery when we were there because her sugars were 410. She finally got the surgery last week and one of her sutures opened up and bled all over so she had to go to the ER. The whole visit she couldn't leave the house, couldn't shower, could barely make it to the bathroom.

Now i'm at a loss. I don't want to end up like my mom so i'm motivated to lose my weight, but I still have this horribly unhealthy food addiction that makes me feel better when I have so much to be upset about. I mean, i'm the only child. My dad works 12-15 hours a day so he is drained physically and emotionally from taking care of my mom. I feel like I have a lot on my plate but I have no choice because I live 1500 miles away (my husband is military). I feel like food fills my void. WTF kind of thought process is that? I know it sounds stupid to say that, but it's so true.

I want to be healthy, I want to lose weight, I don't want to be like my mom and be a burden on my family when I get older.... but how do I move past my stress/emotional eating? I can't even hold off on healthy foods that I love; things like carrots, I will eat an entire bag + ranch dressing instead of a handful...peaches I will eat 8 in one sitting...grapes I will eat a whole bag in one sitting... the sugar gives me a headache which ultimately makes me feel better in some sick way. BLAH. I'm just so frustrated with myself. I loved the Medifast program because it really showed me how addicted to food I was. It put me on a strict program where all I had to do was eat the food and prepare one simple, healthy meal and I felt awesome. I felt like I had finally broken away from my horrible eating habits and had made a real switch in my life... but the news of my mom getting worse invaded my success. UGH. What do I do? Is there ANYONE OUT THERE who has dealt with anything similar?? Please say yes. I'm about ready to find a therapist (yeah, I know...probably not a bad idea).

whippettt

http://www.drfuhrman.com/

I usually do not read diet books or believe in diets but this guy talks all about food addiction.
I promise Foods will taste better if you just start eating healthy. Your body will crave fruits and vegetables.

thistimewillbedifferent

You poor thing! That must be so frustrating and upsetting. I used to be a very bad emotional eater, and the one thing that FINALLY saved me was shadowboxing. I started taking the classes because I wanted a fun cardio class that didn't involve complicated dance moves, and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the violent, aggressive music. And the punching. And the kicking. After having done it once a week for a few months, one day something irritating happened to me at work. In the past my gut reaction would have been to go home and make a drink and/or eat nachos or a cheeseburger. This time, however, my first thought was "I wish I had shadowboxing class tonight -- I need to PUNCH something!" I was shocked to see that, gradually, over time, the class had turned into a major stress reliever for me without my even realizing it. Now I just "file away" any irritations and frustrations that pop up during the week and then let them all out during class. By the time class ends, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Anyway, I'm not saying that shadowboxing specifically is the right solution for everybody -- the point is to figure out what your "shadowboxing" would be. Maybe it's boxing, maybe it's going to a trampoline park, maybe it's roller derby...but once you find it and start directing your stress and anger at it, you'll find yourself stuffing down your emotions with food and drink far less often. Best wishes finding what works for you, and hang in there! Turn your mother's tragedy into a catalyst for how you changed your life -- that can be one of her legacies to you.

wknmom

This is a very sad story and my heart breaks for you! You poor thing! I know all about self-medicating with food and whatever our 'comfort' food is. I think you are right that it would be good to talk to a therapist if you can - do you have a plan through the military that can help with the cost of that? Having someone who is detached from your situation available to vent to and to give some unbiased advice would be a good thing. It isn't just about losing weight and being physically healthy - you have some emotional stuff to deal with too, and that is just as important. Take care, and never feel bad for getting the help you need. Doing the right thing takes strength, and there is strength in numbers. Make yourself a part of a 'team' in dealing with all that is happening in your life and in your family. Work with your friend and talk to a counselor. You can do it!!

freddyfreckleface08

I have some similar issues. I am definitely a stress eater and some of it also comes from my mom being sick. Long story short, they don't know what she has, but some days she cannot get out of bed due to being in so much pain. I am so sorry to hear about your mom being sick.

Something that helps me is "mindful eating." This article explains it really well: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/08/dining/mindful-eating-as-food-for-thought.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Mindful eating is where you eat your food REALLY slowly. You are supposed to think about every bite - how it smells, tastes, feels in your mouth, etc. This process slows down your body and helps you appreciate the food you're eating. It also helps you realize when you feel full, since the body takes 10-20 minutes before you actually FEEL full.

Try it out with a snack first. It takes a lot of practice and it's something I'm still working on, but I find that it helps. I do have to make myself do it though.

mettelaurent

I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, sad, bored, tired, feel I deserve it, stressed, after a small argument with my husband. It comforts and fills a void inside of me. So I know how you feel.
Your life right now is tough, you have a lot to deal with and you draw strength from food. But as you know: the strength and comfort food brings is only temporary.

You need to find that strength from something that will last. In order words: you need a strong body to help you through all the stress. Maybe you should start just making really small changes, maybe not focusing on going on a diet at this time, but mayeb starting to walk a little every day, lift som dumbells, do some lunges and do some abs exercises..you can find a ton of exercises on pinterest thatbyou can do at home. Just a little every day will make an impact on your overall well being, it will give you a strong body and it will make you feel strong physically and psychologically/emotionally.

You deserve a healthy strong body that will give you the energy you need to handle life. You don't deserve to have that right taken from you by the empty promises of "comfort"food. Your comfort must be in the thought of a future you living a strong and healthy life. You won't find it in food.

Of course a healthy diet will give you the foundations for your new body.

I know you already know all this, but it never hurts repeating.

The only person who can change things for you is you. You need the call the shots about your own body and not listen to the emotions wanting the temporary comfort of food.

You need to make a decision today and just start on the right track. The perfect moment is not in two weeks or when your mom is better, or when you feel stronger. The perfect moment will never come, so you create the perfect moment yourself and the perfect moment is today.

I am wrting this for myself as well.

Bestbwishes for your mom. Remember: you control your destiny by your actions today!

Cpirit07002

Your words are all so encouraging. Thank you so much! I just can't find that "other thing" to run to instead of food when I feel emotions flood in. It's hard for me to put it out of my mind for even an hour.

I'm at least glad that i'm not the only person with issues like this. Sometimes I feel like i'm the lone whale eating up every critter in the sea while the happy whales dance around behind me. LOL