I look gaunt?!

kenyonhaff

So I'm mid 40s and lost 46 lbs...close to goal weight. I feel great and all. But I think I now look kinda wrinkly and gaunt and my husband says my face looks kind of sad much of the time. Has anyone else have this issue?

Famof72015

tulips_and_tea

I'd say give it some time. Celebrate your accomplishment! You're close to goal! Just like with any weight loss, the skin needs time to adjust and firm up.

Christine_72

Yep! I got down to my goal weight last year, 143lbs at 5'8", age 45 and the gaunt and sickly or do i have cancer comments started rolling in.

I looked great from my ribs down, but my boobs shrank, my collar bones jutted out, my arms looked twig like and my face looked sickly, older and gaunt, I also had these weird tendon looking things poking out on either side of my adams apple on my throat, no idea what that was!.

My husband never got off my back about it!! Also, for me it was hard to maintain the weight, it required constant vigilance and NO veering off track.

So now, i'm at 150lbs and that's where I'm staying. Not happy with the extra tummy podge, but it is what it is.

MegaMooseEsq

That stinks. As best I understand it, genetics pretty much controls where you lose weight and what happens to your skin afterwards. I feel like what you're encountering isn't unknown - I have a vague memory of an old expression about how too much weight loss can have negative effects on your face, but a quick Google isn't turning anything up. Maybe I'm thinking hands? Either way, there's always going to be something to be unhappy with - I'm sure your husband and you will get used to any changes.

JeromeBarry1

When you lose the fat, the skin hangs loose. Some people are young enough that their skin tightens around their smaller self and they look fine. I'm not that young. I'm going to be saggy and baggy.

AnnPT77

I'm 61, nearly 62, lost 50+ pounds at 59-60, so I'm most of the way through year 2 of maintenance. My skin has continued to shrink (at a decreasing rate, but I'm not certain it's stopped). Some areas improved dramatically.

At first, I felt like my face looked gaunt and saggy, and my neck kind of stringy, but I believe both have gradually improved.

Right after I reached goal, a fitness instructor I'd had long before (while obese) sub taught my spin class, and complimented me on the weight loss. A few months later, she subbed again, not having seen me in the mean time. At that point, she told me she'd thought I'd looked really too thin the first time, but was looking good - strong and fit - at this second time. I was the same weight, and no more fit.

I'm sure experiences vary, but I think things can improve, with time, in maintenance.

At the same time, others take time to adjust to the change in you, which just "seems wrong" to them at first. Most of my friends/relatives are over that hump, now. And people who're newly meeting me now are visibly stunned when they see old (but recent) obese pictures - they wouldn't have guessed.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Yeah, my face looks cuter when I'm a little chubbier.

tomteboda

I'm right at the edge of that at 155 lbs. Even though the charts say I could lose as much as 18 lbs and be "healthy", my face looks hollow and I start looking terribly fragile when I drop below 154.

I've lost most of my subcutaneous fat in my face, and much of it throughout my body. Because of my Genetics, I still have an hourglass figure, but aside from the breasts and thighs and to a lesser extent the hips I just don't have much spare fat anywhere.

I would be inclined to dismiss other people's claims of faintness, except that I can see it myself in the mirror and in photographs.

I don't want to be unhealthy. My entire purpose in losing weight was to reclaim physical strength, ability, and endurance. I have to accept that for me, this weight is likely as low as I can maintain and be truly healthy.

olive1968

I have two friends (a couple) who both lost a dramatic amount of weight in a short amount of time. They looked awful. Now that it has been a couple of years, I think they look great. I'm thinking it takes time to get used to the new normal. It was my perception of them that was wrong. I bet you actually look amazing! It will just take everyone some time to catch up to the new, fitter you!

ZoneFive

I watched a friend drop a good 150 lbs over almost two years. At first she looked just the way you say -- gaunt, maybe unhealthy. In the following 18 months I believe her body -- redistributed? might be the right word. She's been doing a great deal of walking with her husband, and possibly some weights, and she looks absolutely terrific now. All of this is to say that a year of maintenance will probably do as much as weight loss to change the way your body looks. Spend some time getting used to the new normal, and see how you feel then.

Azdak

Since the average population is so overweight, anyone who is a normal weight looks “sickly” to them. It’s quite a common reaction when people lose weight. After a while, they’ll get used to the new appearance. If they don’t and continue making comments, then it’s often more a form of subtle sabotage.

amyepdx

MegaMooseEsq wrote: »

That stinks. As best I understand it, genetics pretty much controls where you lose weight and what happens to your skin afterwards. I feel like what you're encountering isn't unknown - I have a vague memory of an old expression about how too much weight loss can have negative effects on your face, but a quick Google isn't turning anything up. Maybe I'm thinking hands? Either way, there's always going to be something to be unhappy with - I'm sure your husband and you will get used to any changes.

It's "After a certain age, a woman has to choose her @ss or her face". Duchess of Windsor or maybe Bette Davis?

opalsqueak007

Sadly, yes,I have been there. I went from 194 - 135lb and got fit (see my thumbnail). People,including my husband, wre so used to me being big that everyone said I was too thin, lost my figure etc. I didn;t think this would affect me,but it did - greatly - and I lost my motivation to keep slim and fit, being told by everyone every single day that I was too thin, too muscular, etc. In fact, I was never thin - they were just used to seeing the UK size 20 me.
The sad thing is that this greatly affected my motivation, and a year later, I have put most of the weight back on, and am in very poor physical shape. I feel terrible that I let other people's opinions grind me down, and that they liked me better as a fat person.
Please do what is right for yourself. Look in the mirror - you know if you are too thin or not. Stick to your guns.

fittocycle

I agree. Most people have a distorted view of what healthy looks like because the majority are overweight. It'll take a while for people to get used to seeing a thinner you. It's funny how people are ok with talking about your weight when you're thinner but never dreamed of mentioning it when you were overweight.

evileen99

Catherine Deneuve says that after 40, you have to choose between your *kitten* and your face--which one do you want to look good? Nice *kitten*, thinner face.

Christine_72

fittocycle wrote: »

I agree. Most people have a distorted view of what healthy looks like because the majority are overweight. It'll take a while for people to get used to seeing a thinner you. It's funny how people are ok with talking about your weight when you're thinner but never dreamed of mentioning it when you were overweight.

I only had 30lbs to lose, so i wasn't super overweight or obese, and believe me, my family did dare/dream to bring it up when i got to 180lbs. Never, ever in a mean or judgmental way, they just sometimes slipped the topic into conversations.

I myself didnt like the look of my face when i got down to my goal weight. I would rather have a plumper face and belly, than a flat tum and skinny, gaunt looking face. Vanity weight is just not so important at my age anymore, i've got other more pressing/important things to concern myself over.

cebreisch

A few years ago, after I’d lost about 80 pounds, my husband finally started doing P90X. He didn’t log his food really, and didn’t wear an activity tracker. After he got down to about 130-ish, everybody started saying he looked gaunt too. He had been getting hungry and just powering through it. He wanted to get down to a certain percent of body fat and did. But - he did look a little gaunt.

After the P90X was over, he gained about 10-20 pounds back over some course of time. Then decided to do INsanity. By some miracle, he decided to get an activity tracker and realized just how hard he was working out and wasn’t taking in enough calories - resulting in him being hungry all the time - which meant he could eat more and not have to suffer! LOL

He looked SO much healthier and felt healthier.

Christine_72

cebreisch wrote: »

A few years ago, after I’d lost about 80 pounds, my husband finally started doing P90X. He didn’t log his food really, and didn’t wear an activity tracker. After he got down to about 130-ish, everybody started saying he looked gaunt too. He had been getting hungry and just powering through it. He wanted to get down to a certain percent of body fat and did. But - he did look a little gaunt.

After the P90X was over, he gained about 10-20 pounds back over some course of time. Then decided to do INsanity. By some miracle, he decided to get an activity tracker and realized just how hard he was working out and wasn’t taking in enough calories - resulting in him being hungry all the time - which meant he could eat more and not have to suffer! LOL

He looked SO much healthier and felt healthier.

Is your husband really short?

150poundsofme

Congrats on your weight loss. Sometimes a new haircut, part different, bangs maybe??? The magazines always show different shape faces with haircuts that are good for it.

kenyonhaff

Thanks for the comments, everyone! I'm hoping it's just my skin needing a bit of time to firm up. I noticed my "bat wings" firmed up in a couple of weeks so why not my face?

But yeah, those weird tendon things on my neck just took me by surprise.

And I'm certainly not giving up. It's nice being a healthy size. I just wish my face looked a bit plumper. *sigh*

ZoneFive

Give it some time. You've made some major changes in your body, and it'll need a little while to adapt. In the meantime, congratulations!

LynnJ9

I have lost more than 35 pounds at this point. I also got a completely different haircut. My students (I'm a high school teacher) keep commented on how different I look with a new haircut. One student even said, "your new haircut makes your face look so much thinner". Lol. Get a new hair style for people to focus on, and they will realize how amazing you look!

kenyonhaff

I'll think about the haircut thing--I need a trim but my hair is pretty short already.