Female, over 50, hypothyroid, about 9000th attempt to lose weight and keep it off forever.

fveekaye

I gave up dieting many years ago because my brain really hates limitations and will get revenge if I attempt to cut out the things I love. I've used MFP in the past and have been successful losing weight by keeping track of what I'm eating and it's helped, but I always, always, always backslide and end up gaining the weight + a few extra pounds. I've been really successful maintaining my weight by just taking care to have smaller portions, not going to crazy with sweets, and cutting down a little on alcohol. But the minute I even consider trying to take some weight off, I lose five and then gain seven. So, I've focused on maintaining for a long time. Until the change of life... I gained 30 lbs in one year. :

Trying to limit myself to the small number of calories it takes to actually lose weight is HHHAAARRRRRRDDDDDD!

I need help.

First of all, the hunger is all-consuming, painful even. And trust me, I have a very high tolerance to pain. I deal with very painful arthritic joints every single day. But, I still manage to swim, hike and do yoga, plus a little surfing in ice cold water, to keep my muscles and heart in good shape. So, I'm not about to add a lot of exercise to my life. I'm fit and I do whatever I can comfortably do already.

Last year I managed to lose 10 lbs sort of by doing the intermittent fasting thing. All my meals are smooshed into an 8 hour period. It's really the most natural kind of plan for me. I am never hungry in the morning. I can get by just fine through the afternoon on some high protein, low carb snacks. Then it's actually difficult to fit the rest of my calories in before 8 p.m. It worked so much better for me than any other thing I've ever tried. And in fact, those 10 lbs I lost stayed off for nearly a year! And I never did go beyond that starting point. Miracle! But then I got a job where all the snacks in the world are provided free of charge. Only some of them are healthy.

So now, I need to just stay the course, keep it going, and finally lose the 50 lbs I've been wanting to drop since I was 35. Of course, now I have an additional 50 to lose after that. But I already know going in that if I say to my brain, "Brain, we're going to lose 100 lbs." My brain is going to say, "Great, let's start with some ice-cream covered donuts!"

1PoisonIvy

If it was easy, we all would be trim and fit, truth is it's difficult and only those that preserver thru will be successful.
So tell your brain to shut up, and get busy taking care of your health

Arizona_C

Avoid sugar. This includes ice cream, donuts, cake, candy, cookies, biscuits, pastry. White bread as well, pasta, too.

Avoid anything that will make your blood sugar go up and produce insuline as a result, because this is what creates the horrible feeling of hunger you describe.

Go through a Glycemic Index to determine which food you can have without triggering the blood sugar, and stick to them. It will basically be vegstables, cereal products rich in fiber, meat (stick to lean cuts) some fruits, some diary products.

Its possible, I reassure you, avoid the food with a high IG number, and you will be able to loose weight and keep it off without feeling unconfortably hungry, best of luck

dwilliamca

We sound a lot alike. I too lost a lot of weight (30 lbs) and then gained it back after I stopped logging and exercising. I'm over 60, retired, and like you past menopause and finding it harder and harder to keep those pounds off. Now I feel like I'm back on the right road and losing weight again. I am looking to lose around 50 lbs. this time then I might go for 20 more. I tend to eat the same way I always did but limit my portions. I'm only allotted 1200 calories/day. Snacking is what gets me and now I only get one snack a day and so far I'm sticking to it (and I do find high protein works well). I try to eat a variety of foods each meal and each day. I like food and want to continue liking it. Certain things I'll never give up like butter. I've gotten used to limits; basically 1 piece of something instead 2 (or more), weigh meats 3-4 oz, 1/2 cup on the carbs at dinner, only one sweet per day other than a piece of fruit, etc. I really don't feel hungry or deprived. I'm over the low carb thing, although I do limit sugar. I use some sugar substitutes, Stevia being my favorite because it is natural. I was/am a wine drinker but have limited myself to one drink. I thought it would be harder to quit than it was, in fact I haven't had any all week. I'm not real big on exercise but am trying to do yoga and Pilates 4 times a week. When I was younger I used to hike all the time, but now I have to push myself to get out and walk and although I love the beach I have never surfed in any water let alone cold! You must live up north somewhere. If you like we can become friends and have a small portion of ice-cream covered donuts together.

SueSueDio

Don't tell your brain you're going to lose 100lbs. Tell it you're going to lose 5lbs.

After you've lost those, tell it you're going to lose another 5lbs.

Repeat as many times as necessary.

What are your stats (height, weight, rate of loss you've chosen in your settings) and how many calories has MFP given you? You might expect to be a little hungry to start with if you've been used to eating a lot more, but it shouldn't be as bad as you describe so I wonder if you're cutting too low.

If your calorie level is high enough, it could be that you're choosing foods that don't actually fill you up or satisfy you (physically or mentally). So experimenting with what you eat (more protein, more fat, more volume of lower-calorie foods, etc.) may help with that.

Have you started eating breakfast because you think you "should"? If the intermittent fasting worked for you previously and fit in with your lifestyle and preferences, there's no reason to change that.

If it helps, I'm over 50 (no thyroid issues that I know of), very sedentary and love chocolate. I knew that any "diet" that involved cutting out sweet things would result in me giving up after a month or two and deciding to remain fat because losing weight was too hard. I was happy to learn that by counting my calories and weighing my portions carefully, I could include a little treat most days and still lose weight! I mainly chose very dark chocolate (80%+), because it's easier for me to resist overeating that, and 40-calorie low fat Fudgsicle ice creams for my treats. After a few months, I found that I actually didn't crave sweets as much as I used to - I still love chocolate, but I don't feel as if I need it.

I also take regular breaks where I eat at maintenance calories for a couple of weeks, generally around birthdays or other special occasions. It took me around 18 months to lose 66lbs (not quite done yet), but if I'd thought about that at the start I might not have been able to stick with it. By only restricting my calories for 8-10 weeks at a time, I've found it much easier to cope with... I don't think I could "diet" for 18 months, but I can do it for two! These breaks also let me practice what I've learned about portion control, and give me a mental rest from the thought of restriction. And taking my time over losing the weight - although there IS a part of me that would like to just be done with it all! - is helping me to learn new habits that I'll need in the future to keep the weight off.

There is no "dieting to lose weight and then going back to eating normally". What I considered normal is what made me fat. I have to learn a new normal, to maintain my lower weight, and that takes time and commitment.

RaeBeeBaby

Going to give you some tough love, my friend. Your brain is not some separate entity that has some crazy control over you. It IS you and only YOU can decide what your goals and objectives are and make them happen. Your first sentence sounds like you've already decided to fail.

I gave up dieting many years ago because my brain really hates limitations and will get revenge if I attempt to cut out the things I love.

You state this as if it's some crazy demon making you do something outside of your control. Now that's just pretty ridiculous. You can take control of yourself and make the decisions you need to make in order to lose weight. If you don't then it's because you don't really want to and you're just making excuses.

I'm a post-menopausal woman of 57. I gained quite a bit of weight following chemotherapy and after retirement. I made a lot of excuses for why I was gaining including slowed metabolism, medication that causes weight gain (it does), painful joints, arthritis, plantar fasciatis and a whole plethora of other reasons. The truth is that I was eating too much and drinking too much and not moving nearly enough. Finally decided to kick my own butt and get busy. It's been slow but it's happening and I'm not feeling deprived, I'm feeling empowered.

You don't need help. You already have it within yourself.

fveekaye

Thanks everybody! I really appreciate all your comments!

@1PoisonIvy You know it! What I've been doing is writing instead of listening to it, because the brain never shuts up no matter how often I tell it to. Although, I've been practicing meditation and things might be getting quieter.

@Arizona_C That's all excellent advice, I really appreciate you taking the time to share. I have been avoiding added refined sugar for quite some time. I noticed during my experiment last year how much better I felt. Also, I learned something that blew my mind! Women should have no more than 25 grams. Why the heck isn't that on every food label? Anyway, I definitely crave it less now. I've been interested in learning more about glycemic index but right at this moment, I'm pretty focused on just getting through the first week at 1200 calories and finding the right balance of macros and such.

@dwilliamca Wow, thanks! I really appreciate you reaching out to me beyond your message here. Your advice is solid and I really appreciate it! I also think it is all about finding the thing that works for you and just sticking with it. I like the flexibility you've built into your plan and that you're not giving up butter! I'm totally with you on that. I read the French Women Don't get Fat book years ago and I really enjoyed it but I never did follow that plan. But it's sort of stuck with me and I did do a few things from it which I think helped me not to totally balloon up over the years. Anyway, thanks for your friendship! I'm looking forward to checking in with you regularly! And who knows? Maybe we'll go surfing one day!

@SueSueDio I'm 5'3" 219 (I was 220 on Monday, W00t!) and for 2#/week I'll need to stick with 1200. I have always struggled with breakfast. Everybody wants you to have a healthy breakfast! I used to take it to heart and try really hard to maintain that 3 meals a day with a couple snacks but I was ALWAYS hungry. Eating breakfast has always made me feel hungry again within an hour. Even when I went high protein. Nothing was ever ever ever enough. With the intermittent fasting, I'm only hungry for a little while, usually just right before I break my fast at about noon. But there are times when I miss the mark on the right mix of macros and BAM! HUNGRY at bedtime. Then it's so hard to stay out of the fridge! So, I am trying to develop some strategies to stay on the path. And sometimes stress gets me right before dinner while I'm still working and I have be very careful to make good choices until my real dinner at home. Anyway, I'm trying to train myself to appreciate the hunger pain because it's there for a reason. I'm melting! Congrats with all your progress while maintaining the joy of chocolate! I'm the same way! One of my coworkers showed up one day with a lovely bar with no sugar or sugar substitute added. I expected it to be very bitter but it was glorious. I think I took a picture of the label, if I can find it, I'll send you the info.

@RaeBeeBaby I didn't post here to get yelled at. I was just introducing myself in what I thought was sort of a fun way. That kind of "tough love" makes me want to leave. You don't know anything about me. I'm sorry for your troubles and I'm super happy for you that you've overcome them. I've found some things that works for me so far, and I fully intend to stick with it for the rest of my life. It took me a lot of trial and error to find it. I was really hoping that people here would be accepting and not judgmental. What I need is encouragement. And your post didn't help, it made me feel sick to my stomach and a little dizzy. I know that wasn't your intention and I'm sure that kind of real talk tough love might be helpful to some people. But I'm not one of those people. And I'm not terribly interested in blurting out on the Internet all the reasons (not excuses) why. I guess I would just suggest that you try to be kinder with strangers when delivering your tough love. I do appreciate that you took the time to reply though. I know your intention was good and I am grateful.

Firefly0606

What made you decide on 1200? 1200 is the diet industry default because anyone can lose weight on 1200....and it makes their product / plan / theory / whatever they are selling look like it works. That's really low for most people, and unless you are really short and already close to your ideal weight, 1200 is a pretty aggressive a cut.

When people aggressively cut calories, weight loss happens. Then most people gain it back, because it's not sustainable, and your body actually needs calories to function. Gain back all plus some. Then, if you aggressively cut again, you lose weight. But when you get off the 'diet', you gain it back plus some. It's called yo-yo dieting. Your body adapts to the lower amount of calories you are putting in, so when you revert to a normal way of eating (or run out of 'will-power'), your metabolism is firing at a lower amount of calories then when you started. Each aggressive cut, you push hard back against that metabolism and it reduces each time. So your maintenance level drops lower than when you started. And then you think you need to cut even lower to lose weight. Endless roundabout that leads to heavier than you were before.

You're attitude towards hunger seems....odd. Hunger pain isn't something you should have to get used to. It means you're hungry. Your body is pretty smart, it's telling you something.

Have you ever calculated your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure)? Once you have your TDEE, you reduce it by about 10 - 20% and lose slowly. This way, you give your body the fuel it needs, but a little bit less so it burns fat to make up the shortfall. Try this calculator: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/ it's a good guide to what your TDEE will be, give or take a little. And it will give you a good guide to what a good healthy daily calorie allowance should be to lose weight.

fveekaye

I don't think my hunger works the same way your hunger works. I mean, I know it's supposed to be that way, where you feel hungry when you should eat. People are different though. Sometimes you just have to hack through things until they make sense. When I'm not eating the right things I seem to be hungry all the time. If I listened to the hunger, I'd be way heavier. I'm eating better now though and the hunger is manageable with few exceptions.

1200 is what came up when I punched my numbers into MFP. Also my doctor insists that I need to drop even lower if I don't continue to lose at that rate. Supposedly post menopausal women need fewer calories. And I have a bit of a thyroid problem so it's a little harder for me to lose.

I've never even heard of TDEE, very interesting! They say that if I eat 1587 calories a day, I'll be at my goal weight in 60 months! However, and this makes so much sense: "Note: When your weight drops by more than 5lbs (2kg) you must recalculate your numbers! Your weight chart above shows why this is so important! If you don't adjust your caloric intake when your weight changes, you will plateau out." But of course your caloric requirement will be less as you lose weight!

Which is something that I find annoying about MFP, because in order to change your calorie goal, you have to recalculate which wipes out all your prior weight loss progress. I wish they would fix that.

Anyway, this is a revelation. I may need to re-evaluate my plan. Thanks @Firefly0606!

KANGOOJUMPS

YOU CAN DO THIS! ONE DAY AT A TIME!

sijomial

You need to find a sustainable way to both lose weight and then maintain that weight loss.
A lot of those habits and adherence factors are personal.
You have identified that breakfast first thing in the morning isn't helpful to you for example.

I'm also someone how feels far hungrier than I actually should be - my intuitive calorie level is far higher than my needs. Always has been - I accept that as someone I have to manage.
Curiously one thing that did help was using 5:2 eating pattern to lose weight. I learned on the two very low calorie days that hunger isn't pleasant but it also isn't the end of the world, I could put up with it for one day.

When I did 16:8 fasting I learned I don't like rigid rules but also learned that breakfast for me is very optional. I like it but I don't need it and makes me no more or less hungry for the rest of the morning.

One alternative to either the mainstream average TDEE (minus a cut) method or the MFP method is setting your calorie goal to your approximate maintenance level at your goal weight rather than your current weight. It should give a swifter weight loss at the start gently tapering off as you near goal.

Keep trying - keep learning, from mistakes as well as successes.

kommodevaran

Sounds like you do really well with sensible boundaries (16:8), and that your brain is not having tantrums as a reaction to your trying to limit food intake, but as a reaction to the changed food environment at your new workplace. We are hardwired to respond to food cues. Your job situation sounds like a "toxic food environment" (google it). Remember that free food also comes with a cost - no snacks are healthy if you overeat them.

SueSueDio

OP, I don't know why your doctor is being so hard on you - yes, you're obese (I don't say that to be rude, it's just a medical description), but not dangerously so. And yes, your thyroid issue may mean that you burn fewer calories than other women of your height and weight, but that just means you need to be more accurate with your weighing and measuring of your food intake and estimating your calorie burns. You may burn less during exercise than expected, but only trial and error will tell you that without expensive tests.

I'm no medical expert, but it seems to me that your doctor should not be encouraging you to eat even less than the recommended minimum for women to get good nutrition, which is 1200 calories. As you get older you do need fewer calories per day, but not a massive amount less. It drops by maybe 20 calories for each year of age, I think. And there are plenty of success stories here from post-menopausal women who've lost weight just fine. (I'm in peri myself and lose as expected when I actually stick to my calorie goal.) From what I understand, most doctors get very little training in nutrition and are just as susceptible to diet industry woo as the rest of us, so don't assume that he/she really knows what you need just because they're a doctor.

As for the hunger, may I suggest the book "The Beck Diet Solution" by Dr. Judith Beck? You might find it useful to work through the exercises in that book, which does talk about the fact that many overweight people are unable to recognise proper hunger cues. (I don't recall, but she might advocate eating breakfast. If that doesn't work for you, ignore the advice - many people say they feel more hungry after breakfast than if they didn't eat at all until later.) You should be able to get it through your library if you don't want to purchase it right away.

By the way, sugar, in and of itself, doesn't make people fat. It can certainly make it harder to lose weight if a person really likes to eat sweet things, but the weight gain is due to too many calories in total and not exclusively due to sugar. If cutting down helps you to keep in a deficit then go for it, but if that makes you feel deprived and want to binge or give up then consider allowing yourself regular small treats within your calorie allowance. I checked my reports just recently and I rarely eat less than 60g of sugar a day. Doesn't seem to have done me any harm, regardless of what the clean eating gang might believe or the current scaremongering might say, so do whatever works best for you!

And finally - yes, you will need to recalculate your calorie allowance as you lose weight, because smaller bodies need less calories to keep them going. Adjust every 5-10lbs. This, actually, is one of the biggest reasons to set your initial calorie goal as high as you can, because if you start at 1200 then as you lose weight and need less calories you have nowhere to go. You should also adjust your weight loss goal as you get smaller, don't keep it high all the way. I started with an allowance of 1500 to lose 1lb/week, and it wasn't too bad reducing that as time went on because I gradually became accustomed to eating less. Once I got down to just over 1200 in January, though, it was too little for me so I changed my goal to lose 0.5lbs instead.

RaeBeeBaby

fveekaye wrote: »

@RaeBeeBaby I didn't post here to get yelled at. I was just introducing myself in what I thought was sort of a fun way. That kind of "tough love" makes me want to leave. You don't know anything about me. I'm sorry for your troubles and I'm super happy for you that you've overcome them. I've found some things that works for me so far, and I fully intend to stick with it for the rest of my life. It took me a lot of trial and error to find it. I was really hoping that people here would be accepting and not judgmental. What I need is encouragement. And your post didn't help, it made me feel sick to my stomach and a little dizzy. I know that wasn't your intention and I'm sure that kind of real talk tough love might be helpful to some people. But I'm not one of those people. And I'm not terribly interested in blurting out on the Internet all the reasons (not excuses) why. I guess I would just suggest that you try to be kinder with strangers when delivering your tough love. I do appreciate that you took the time to reply though. I know your intention was good and I am grateful.

It certainly wasn't my intention to yell at you, make you sick or dizzy or want to leave MFP. And I wasn't trying to be judgmental. I was just pointing out that your post started out with a pretty defeatist attitude and that needs to change if you want to be successful. Things like your brain is working against you, you're already working out as much as you can, you know how to do it because you've lost weight before, but you still weigh 100 pounds more than you want to. All was I was really trying to say is that you have to get the right mindset and not let your brain/thoughts/whatever convince you differently. I was giving my background as an example of what you can do if you get your head on straight because mine wasn't for quite some time. My deepest apologies if my post seemed harsh or made you want to leave. I do wish you the best and hope that you find the answers that you're seeking to get to where you want to be.

fveekaye

@KANGOOJUMPS THANK YOU! Also, I'm very intrigued by your profile picture! I have a balance board that I've been using to improve my balance for surfing and help build some neural connections in my brain. I just googled Kangaroo Jump shoes and my mind is blown! Thanks for that!

@sijomial Thank you so much for all the advice. Your profile with all the goals you've set and met is extremely inspiring and I especially appreciate that you've been able to overcome some of your physical limitations and adjusted goals accordingly. Really great info and a lot of help!

@kommodevaran We do have an office "mom" who tries to provide us with healthy snacks as well as fun snacks. I think I'm pretty lucky after googling toxic food environment. And I'll have to admit that it's my own choices that have pushed me back up to my limit. God, do I love salt and vinegar potato chips and chocolate chip cookies! We also have boiled eggs, small cheese sticks, hummus, Popchips and a few other things, and when they provide lunch there are always vegetarian options and lighter options. This week I was able to walk on by the snack wall without even a second glance!

@SueSueDio Oh boy, my sister from another mister. I just sent you a friend request. Everybody, go read her profile and you'll understand why she's the perfect inspiration for me!

@RaeBeeBaby Public apology here for my uncalled for defensive rant. Of course you were just trying to help. Also, your message was very sweet and I can't say enough how sorry I am. I really hope I didn't make you feel badly. You're a wonderful, inspiring lady and I'm really just way too sensitive.

Thank you all for chiming in. I do think that probably a little fuller participation is what I've been needing. A little interaction is the HELP I've been craving. Seeing actual successes and hearing all the real talk and learning more about stuff. I feel like Mary Tyler Moore for the first time in my life.

I'm gonna make it after all!

SueSueDio

fveekaye wrote: »

Thank you all for chiming in. I do think that probably a little fuller participation is what I've been needing. A little interaction is the HELP I've been craving. Seeing actual successes and hearing all the real talk and learning more about stuff. I feel like Mary Tyler Moore for the first time in my life.

I'm gonna make it after all!

Yes, you are! Sometimes, just knowing that other people are in the same kind of situation and have been through the same kind of things is a huge help. Having support, interaction and accountability is great too!

Thank you for the kind words... I don't feel like an inspiration but I appreciate it anyway! I didn't get your friend request so I sent one to you. I hope I can be supportive to you and help you see that you don't need to suffer to do this. (Be warned that if I think you're being silly or too restrictive, I'm going to tell you so - I'm not supportive of woo-based efforts!)