Criticized for healthy choices

jennifer_417

I will never understand why people think it's ok to make comments like that. Mindyabizniz!

Lounmoun

MadamMarie33 wrote: »

Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.

"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"

It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?

My experience with making different life choices than family or friends is that it is best to be positive not defensive. You can refuse to discuss something that is no one else's business.
So instead of saying you are ordering item xyz because it is healthier talk about how delicious it is or how your tastes have changed. It is not uncommon to start eating or drinking new things in your 20's. It is hard to argue that you should eat something else when you say you are eating something you love.
If they start the conversation on your eating habits say I don't want to talk about that and change the subject right away.
You also get to decide who you spend time with. If people are making you feel bad every time you see them you can spend time with other people. You can tell people to stop bothering you or you can get up and leave.
Make new friends who have a similar lifestyle approach. You are not alone.
Get together with people away from food more often.

misnomer1

Since no one has asked and you haven't mentioned it yet. What's your height and weight?

ninerbuff

MadamMarie33 wrote: »

Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.

"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"

It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?

You were already self conscious when you DECIDED to do this for whatever reason. What's a little more.

People really DON'T care about your goals. Comments like this are usually spouted off because it's usually a lash back due to their inability to discipline themselves to do the same.
While it can be overdone, disregard their remarks. If they have a problem with how you eat, it's THEIR problem.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

MadamMarie33

misnomer1 wrote: »

Since no one has asked and you haven't mentioned it yet. What's your height and weight?

5ft 3, 125 pounds currently. I've recently put on weight which is why I'm trying to make good choices. Even before, the lowest my weight ever got was 108-110. I'm short and have a small frame. I'd be happy with 115 which is a healthy weight for my height

fromaquasar1

I find people who say stuff like this tend to have their own frustrations/insecurities about their weight and health. They want you to eat like them to normalise their own behaviour, make them feel better about themselves etc. I am fairly straight forward person so I tend to smile at these comments and say "isn't it one of the great things about being a grown up, I can eat whatever I want". They normally get the message.

JRSINAZ

I quit eating meat but I am not a vegan. At work when there are potlucks or going out to eat somebody might say oh that's right you're a vegetarian but leave it at that. I just blow it off and eat what I like anyhow.

fitoverfortymom

My response throughout to stuff like that was, "In order for me to be successful, this is the level of oversight I need to give to my diet."

Running_and_Coffee

Here's a secret: anyone who is this obsessed with what you are eating/what you weigh actually wants to talk about their own diet (or lack thereof) and their weight. Next time this happens, just turn the convo on THEM and you will be amazed.

Example:

Them: Why aren't you eating the pizza?
You: I'm going to go for the salad--it's a little healthier.
Them: Why, are you on a diet? You're already too thin!
You: Do you hate dieting? OR try: Eh, we're always too hard on ourselves about being thin, don't YOU think so?

I guarantee, absolutely would bet money, that the next breath out of their mouth is NOT anything about your weight but that they will directly respond in some way to what you said. Yes, I hate dieting, I give up! Yes, I know, I think about my weight all the time! etc.

amusedmonkey

storyjorie wrote: »

Here's a secret: anyone who is this obsessed with what you are eating/what you weigh actually wants to talk about their own diet (or lack thereof) and their weight. Next time this happens, just turn the convo on THEM and you will be amazed.

Example:

Them: Why aren't you eating the pizza?
You: I'm going to go for the salad--it's a little healthier.
Them: Why, are you on a diet? You're already too thin!
You: Do you hate dieting? OR try: Eh, we're always too hard on ourselves about being thin, don't YOU think so?

I guarantee, absolutely would bet money, that the next breath out of their mouth is NOT anything about your weight but that they will directly respond in some way to what you said. Yes, I hate dieting, I give up! Yes, I know, I think about my weight all the time! etc.

I don't like how this conversation built up.. The underlying actual conversation is more along the lines of this:

Them: Why aren't you eating the pizza? (curious, and I hope she doesn't start shoving her diet in my face)
You: I'm going to go for the salad--it's a little healthier. (I'm eating the salad because I'm better than you, I care about my health and you don't)
Them: Why, are you on a diet? You're already too thin! (I don't understand how weight management works, so this is even more irritating and feels condescending)
You: Do you hate dieting? OR try: Eh, we're always too hard on ourselves about being thin, don't YOU think so? (You're ignorant and you don't know anything about weight management. I bet you are jealous of me and trying to sabotage me)

If we are careful enough not to open that door and inadvertently create negative feelings, in my experience I found this works better:

Them: Why aren't you eating the pizza?
You: I had it yesterday, and just don't feel like it today.
Them: You're crazy, pizza is an everyday food. You can't NOT feel like it EVER...

And the conversation takes a more playful and less hurtful turn on its own without needing a decoy, or simply ends there with a nod.

I rarely need to jump through these hoops because the way I eat on social outings is not even the slightest bit different than how I used to eat before weight loss. I just like and really enjoy social food and would rather save calories elsewhere not to deny myself that pleasure. I understand this is too frequent of a thing to work for some people, or some are not particularly attached to their social food habits, but when you're the odd one out you stand out and it can create tension. Not allowing that tension to build in the first place is a smart thing to do and would make for a more pleasant evening for everybody.