How did I let myself go?
claudiatsosie
Posts: 3 Member
Being a new mom has its difficulties. So far worrying about my health is one of them. I’ve gained so much weight that I’m starting to hear the negative complaints from quite a few people. The lack of motivation led me to a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. Now I think it’s time I clapped back and focus more on my well being. I am not so great on dieting but if you have any advice or ways that you get motivated feel free to share. Add me as a friend and let’s motivate each other!
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Replies
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Day 80 here and I promise you I was WAY worse than you are now so if I can you can
Literally:
decide on your desired weightloss, calculate the calories for that and stick to it (don't eat back exercise to begin)
Then just commit to hitting your target for one day. Weigh and log your food accurately.
Then do the same the next day.
Focus on that, let go of the past and don't dwell on the future. Trust the calculations and stick to your calorie goals
Oh and really, do not start by slashing calories to the minimum. JUst go for a small loss to begin so you can learn portion control, logging and don't get overly hungry.
Good luck!13 -
You're a new mum? That's awesome!! Congratulations.
Sorry to hear you have depression and anxiety. Please seek help for this if you haven't already. I've had both, and professional assistance is so valuable.
Weight loss? My first tip is "Don't starve yourself". That just leads to failure to last the distance. Slow and steady is the way to go.
Next, get informed. Read the Helpful Posts (announcement at the top of this forum):
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads
Good luck.7 -
MFP can help you reach your goal. You must log your food or it can't work. So even if you don't have a food scale, you can log foods and portion size. In a week or so , you can figure out what your problem eating has been and start to eat a more healthful diet. Habits take about 3 weeks to make so give yourself that time to start to change and best of luck!
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claudiatsosie wrote: »Being a new mom has its difficulties. So far worrying about my health is one of them. I’ve gained so much weight that I’m starting to hear the negative complaints from quite a few people. The lack of motivation led me to a downward spiral of depression and anxiety.
Anyone who is giving you a hard time about your weight soon after having a baby is showing their rudeness. Maybe you do have weight to lose, but I can't think of a situation where it's appropriate for quite a few people to make negative comments. I wish you success at both losing weight and ignoring negativity.
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First off.. being a new mom is hard enough! Eating schedule, sleeping schedule, .. it's all off for a few months. I remember it feeling like a blur.
Secondly.. while your health is important, at the beginning of parenthood you're so focused on your baby it's easy to sort of put your health on the back burner temporarily.
Tips:
Buy a food scale. You can find one for no more than 20$. I suggest this because it will teach you portion control. It's really easy to 100% trust labels, but they can be up to 20% inaccurate.
Log everything. Even if it's just a little bit even if it has 0 cals. I'm not suggesting this forever, but especially in the beginning. Also, log honestly. It's your diary after all.. so even if some days you go over, try and deal with it and learn from it. We are only human after all.
Don't think of it as a super dreadful, restrictive diet. The amount of calories you get, you can spend them on anything. Hypothetically if your calorie goal was 1500, you could eat 1500 in Oreos if you pleased and still lose weight (granted you are logging accurately) obviously this isn't recommended.. but remember that you can have the foods you want, as long as it fits your calories. (To lose weight anyways) you will find that cravings for junkier food will decrease because once you realize that 2 cookies is generally 150 cals.. it's not even worth it! But knowing you can have it, helps!
Sodium, fat and carbs don't contribute to fat loss. Sodium may cause you to retain water and therefore show extra pounds on the scale, but it will not cause you to gain weight.
Exercise calories.. due to possible error, a lot of people on here recommend to only eat 50-70% of your exercise calories back.
And lastly, it's trial and error. You will find what works best with your body. You may find yourself adjusting your calorie intake to better suit your needs. This is not a race, slower weight loss will create better long term habits. Good luck!2 -
Also remind yourself that by looking after yourself in this way, you are doing the best thing for your family too!2
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What would you tell your friend if she were experiencing the same thing?
Be kind to yourself, is the first step. Trying to go about weight loss from a stance of self-loathing will beget more self-loathing.
P.S. congratulations on the baby! And on getting through the worst of it and feeling ready to take on some self-care!3 -
Mommies unite!! Start with a little self love. See a doctor if you think you need help with anxiety and depression. Then, start making healthy food choices. I think that's a great starting point. Good luck!! xo3
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claudiatsosie wrote: »Being a new mom has its difficulties. So far worrying about my health is one of them. I’ve gained so much weight that I’m starting to hear the negative complaints from quite a few people. The lack of motivation led me to a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. Now I think it’s time I clapped back and focus more on my well being. I am not so great on dieting but if you have any advice or ways that you get motivated feel free to share. Add me as a friend and let’s motivate each other!
who exactly is complaining about your weight?0 -
claudiatsosie wrote: »Being a new mom has its difficulties. So far worrying about my health is one of them. I’ve gained so much weight that I’m starting to hear the negative complaints from quite a few people. The lack of motivation led me to a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. Now I think it’s time I clapped back and focus more on my well being. I am not so great on dieting but if you have any advice or ways that you get motivated feel free to share. Add me as a friend and let’s motivate each other!
I feel you! Becoming a mother is your number one priority and not only is it hard it takes a toll on your health at times. Most of us mothers have been we you are i still am! My kids are in school so i have no excuse to still be losing weight it should be gone by now. But like yourself lack of motivation combined with anxiety and a sit down office job makes it difficuilt. So here i am....still plodding along ever so slowly....unfortunately....but i will get there!
Firstly don't be hard on yourself! Take note of where you are and just start with your diet and just take it day by day. Then when you feel comfortable start adding in some exercise. Give it a fair go for 10 days and you will notice a difference. that alone will motivate you to keep going.
As for those making comments about your weight, honestly if a person has an issue with your weight it sounds more like a personal problem of theirs. Just focus on YOU! ☺0 -
Hi Claudia,
I'm overweight now, but wasn't as a new mum, so am happy to share what worked for me then. I used to walk miles and miles every day with the babies in the buggy. I had twins and instead of driving or using public transport I'd just wheel the buggy. Round the park, along the canal, into town and back, to meet up with friends. Most days I walked at least five miles, often more. The babies loved the fresh air and seeing the world whizz by. And I found it destressed me to be out of the house all the time. We did lots of fairly active things together too. Went 'swimming', played in the park a lot, went to music and story groups that involved physical movement. Anything that gets you out of that indoor slump in PJs.
Babies are great weights too. If you carry your baby around a lot, they get cuddles and you get toned upper arms.
For food, I used to buy salads from a local cafe or cook very easy dinners - grill a steak, fish or chicken with some microwave veg. Not ideal but better than raiding the snacks.
And yeah, your weight is no one's business but yours. What matters is that you and your baby are happy together. But showing your child that you love exercise and healthy eating has to be a good thing.1 -
I think "How did I let myself go?" is the wrong kind of question - it's like asking "how did it become Saturday?". Food is delicious, cheap, everywhere, easy to eat, heavily marketed and used as social glue and a mood enhancer. Exercising and not eating too much takes a conscious effort. The more interesting question is how people have no boundaries as to what they can make themselves say - are you actually getting comments on your weight?
It's even possible that pregnancy, birth and taking care of the little one, maybe not getting enough sleep, not eating well, being worried and stressed, means that you're overspending mental energy. If you're suffering from actual depression and anxiety, you should seek professional help.
Just being motivated is not going to help you if what you're motivated for, is pushing through something unnecessary. Educate yourself - losing weight is just about eating less and moving more, but it has to be done right; there's also not just one right way of doing it. But if you use MFP correctly, you're starting out on the right foot: Go to setup and plot in your stats, and tell MFP you want to lose whatever is closest to 1% of your bodyweight per week. MFP gives you a calorie target to hit. Do that daily, by logging everything you put in your mouth. Keep doing this, and be patient. Weigh yourself regularly, and accept that normal water weight fluctuations are so large that they can easily make it look like you aren't losing weight, but that fat loss happens over time, if you are in a consistent calorie defcit.0 -
claudiatsosie wrote: »Being a new mom has its difficulties. So far worrying about my health is one of them. I’ve gained so much weight that I’m starting to hear the negative complaints from quite a few people. The lack of motivation led me to a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. Now I think it’s time I clapped back and focus more on my well being. I am not so great on dieting but if you have any advice or ways that you get motivated feel free to share. Add me as a friend and let’s motivate each other!
I became overweight after my daughter was born. The reason was that I ate too many calories for my activity level.
My lifestyle changed after my dd came along. I was more sedentary and ate more food to make up for lack of sleep.
I didn't actually know how many calories I needed.
Set up a reasonable goal with MFP like losing 1 lb per week. If you are 20 lbs or less overweight you might want to aim for .5 lb a week. If you are breastfeeding you are supposed to eat a bit more. Search out threads on breastfeeding here and see what is recommended.
Give it time.
Just start with logging what you normally eat as accurately as you can. Then work on reducing portion sizes of higher calorie foods and adding more lower calorie foods like vegetables to your day. Make sure you are getting enough protein, fiber and fats. A digital food scale is useful.
Try to get enough sleep.
Walking is good exercise you can do with your baby outside or around the house. There are lots of free workout videos on You Tube that are 30 minutes or less.
If you are depressed and anxious seek treatment.
Don't worry about what other people think of your weight.0 -
One thing that nobody has brought up: are you breastfeeding? You absolutely can lose weight while breastfeeding, but you need to adjust your calories somewhat (I'm not an expert so I don't know how much exactly) and you'll want to go the "slow and steady " route to make sure that your milk production doesn't dry up. Congratulations on your new baby! You can do this!0
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