I need help. I need people with healthy relationships w/ food to respond.

cspong
cspong Posts: 260 Member
edited November 22 in Health and Weight Loss
Hey guys.

My counsellor knows and I have an appointment with my dr soon. But, I've run into anorexia again (atypical, since I'm obese). I'm terrified to eat carbs. I've been eating about 800 calories a day.

Today my brain fog hit so hard someone was talking to me and he repeated it multiple times and I literally couldn't understand him. The same thing happened right afterwards with someone else. It was like they were speaking another language.

And it scared me. I think I need to eat a greater variety of food to offset this (and obvious more calories)... but I feel like I'll immediately gain like crazy if I do.

So, I just need you all to beat logic into me. How do you eat carbs and lose? How do you eat over 1000 calories and lose?

Edit: I'm not arguing about the diagnosis. I got it as a teen and it's atypical because I never hit underweight. I love how sensitive you all are :/

Replies

  • jbbjbb2017
    jbbjbb2017 Posts: 10 Member
    I'm eating lots of vegetables, protein and "good" fats with very little carbs. If you eat a good amount of those do you still feel off? Stress gives me brain fog. I'm one of those people who piles up my plate with vegetables so I can munch for a good long time before the meal is over so I get full.
  • cspong
    cspong Posts: 260 Member
    jbbjbb2017 wrote: »
    I'm eating lots of vegetables, protein and "good" fats with very little carbs. If you eat a good amount of those do you still feel off? Stress gives me brain fog. I'm one of those people who piles up my plate with vegetables so I can munch for a good long time before the meal is over so I get full.

    I have been eating almost no veggies, it's been all protein (I know that's stupid). I think maybe really pushing the veggies and trying to get to a healthy amount of calories is what I need to do :/
  • MichelleSilverleaf
    MichelleSilverleaf Posts: 2,027 Member
    cspong wrote: »
    So, I just need you all to beat logic into me. How do you eat carbs and lose? How do you eat over 1000 calories and lose?

    By understanding how the body works.

    Your body needs a certain amount of calories just to function. Think of calories like putting gas in your car - if you put very little gas in it, it's not going to go far, is it? Your body isn't much different, as you've already seen. Use the number MFP gives you, and make sure your measuring is accurate. I have no idea what your stats are, but these are mine: 5'6, current weight 238lbs, loss goal is 1lb a week, MFP gives me 2070cal. I've been steadily losing about 1lb a week. Excess calories will make you fat, your body needs carbs. And hopefully your counsellor can help you navigate the mental aspect of it.
  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    Orthorexia, maybe?? systematically avoiding foods one believes is harmful... I’m not a dr, but it sounds to me like you are scared of carbs at the moment... your body needs carbs & sugars for your brain (and other organs!) to function, just like your body needs a range of vitamins, electrolytes, proteins, amino acids, water, etc. Your brain fog does sound scary, but I’m sure you can turn this around with the help of your drs & counselor :-) Hang in there!!! You can MOST definitely lose weight eating carbs (I eat about 50% and used to be 227 @ 5”4’)... I still have work to do, but I was eating 1500 cal & it IS possible to lose :-)
  • KateTii
    KateTii Posts: 886 Member
    There is nothing wrong with carbs - our bodies are designed to prefer them as they are broken down into glucose, the main "Fuel" we run on - even protein can be turned to glucose!

    Now, I personally avoid carbs as I am on a keto diet - however, it is important to eat more fat and protein in the right ratios to compensate. You can't just cut out carbs without increasing other macros. I only avoid carbs as I find it easier to manage hunger and cravings - not because they are "bad". Vegetables can be high in carbs and you'd be hard to find anyone who argues vegetables are bad. Now if you start reintroducing carbs you will see a gain on the scale - this is simply "water weight" (water and glycogen) and not fat. I re-started keto after a "break" due to illness, and I lost 4kg in a week simply from my glycogen stores emptying and my body dumping the excess water I no longer needed.

    Now regardless if you want to eat carbs or not, such low calories is not healthy or sustainable, as you seem to already know. Such intense brain fog is a warning sign that you are on the cusp of doing damage - it's practically starving your brain of energy.

    I have a friend who has been through hell and back with anorexia and the only way she made it through was through intense psychiatric help. I would recommend getting whatever medical help you can, before you hurt yourself again.
  • timtam163
    timtam163 Posts: 500 Member
    edited October 2017
    I don't know if I have a healthy relationship with food, but I've been working on it through tracking. Tracking can be a double-edged sword; it can keep you accountable and see what nutrients you're lacking and help with moderation. But it can also become a game you play with yourself to beat the numbers and eat less and less. Food is fuel, not "toxins"; but thinking too black-and-white can make it difficult to cultivate a healthy relationship with food. Maybe this can be triggering for you, but looking at what other successful long-term weight-losers (?) and maintainers on this site eat can make you realize that one doesn't need to cut out entire food groups (and in fact, most long term success involves a balanced diet that includes solid amounts of each macro, and which absolutely includes fruits and vegetables). In the meantime, are you taking a supplement? Please take care of yourself OP, recovery is a journey and it won't happen overnight. <3
  • MrCailer
    MrCailer Posts: 42 Member
    Anyone hear an emotional eater.. meaning anxiety sparks a need to eat? How entrenched are you ?
  • tmarple93
    tmarple93 Posts: 75 Member
    I eat about sixty percent carbs a day. Used to be less(around forty to fifty percent) but lately I haven't been eating meat (just haven't found it appealing AT ALL recently) and since I lowered my protein intake my carb intake has gone up. Lots of veggie grilled cheese sandwiches, fruit smoothies, lots of veggies, Oatmeal for breakfast. My body composition hasn't changed a bit and I haven't gained any weight. Actually Ive been feeling a lot better. Way more energy. Way less brain fog. Plus I've found out that too much protein for me equals upset stomach and lots of gas so it's been a good thing. I still keep track of calories but since my calories have been the same my weight has stayed the same. Carbs will not make you fat. Sorry your going through this.
  • maybyn
    maybyn Posts: 233 Member
    edited October 2017
    katadx wrote: »
    Anorexia has more to do with mental rather than physical. Look it up before posting something like this. It is not helpful and very demeaning. She clearly said that she HAS a counselor and a doctor. I have diagnosed anorexia, yet I eat at my maintenence level and am healthy. I am anorexic due to my mental and emotional relationship with food.

    .....


    The official criteria for Anorexia Nervosa under DSM-5 requires a low body weight.
    https://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/eating-disorders/what-is-an-eating-disorder/classifying-eating-disorders/dsm-5#anorexia

    As the OP herself said, she has OSFED (Atypical Anorexia).
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I was terrified of fat, but I think that's just a minor detail - I was terrified of sugar and salt as well. I ate too much of all of them, and everything, anyway, and ended up with an unbalanced diet, malnourishment and obesity. How I got out of it? By deciding enough was enough, by reading up, reflecting, discussing, and challenging myself to just eat real food. I already knew what real food was, but I was brainwashed to believe it wasn't good enough. Now I practically forced myself to eat ordinary foods and meals made in traditional ways. It was scary. I was afraid I'd get a heart attack, cancer and diabetes, immediately. None of that happened, of course. Instead, I started to relax and to enjoy food, and lose weight, and be more energetic.

    "How do you eat over 1000 calories and lose?" Calculate your maintenance calories. Just your BMR will be at least 1200. Eating your TDEE will keep your weight stable. Eating above TDEE will make you gain weight. All this presupposes correct plotting of numbers throughout.
  • bribucks
    bribucks Posts: 431 Member
    cspong wrote: »
    Thanks everyone for your responses. I know, logically, how CICO works, but I got so sucked into the Keto world that it really set things off for me (not that Keto is bad, I just don't think it works with my disorder). I spent some time last night researching the benefits of carbs and what a balanced diet looks like. It really helped to get outside of the "bad food" thinking.

    I'm working on upping to 1000 calories for now, with some more variety in what I eat. Once I've gotten to a point where I can eat that much without feeling uncomfortably full, I'll increase again to 1200 (and so on).

    I've done this before and I can do it again.

    Sounds like you’ve got a good plan! Good luck!
  • Chantaljg
    Chantaljg Posts: 75 Member
    I don't have any advice/tips to offer as I am not educated enough on nor do I suffer from this condition.

    I do however want to wish you luck and success!


    Rooting for you ❤
  • Iamnotasenior
    Iamnotasenior Posts: 235 Member
    Feel free to add me. I am currently losing one pound per week at 1,200 calories a day. I eat carbs every day. Potatoes, pasta, rice, etc. are part of my daily diet, along with vegetables, fresh fruits and non-meat protein (I don't eat meat). Carbs are not the enemy, eating too many calories is what causes us to gain or not be able to lose weight. You also, however, have to be forgiving with yourself and not feel like a bad person because you eat a so-called "bad food". I had friends over last night for a party and was so busy preparing, I only had time for a very small lunch. At the party, I ate chocolate, cake, fried rice and macaroni, but I did so in small portions and the scale this morning was the same as it was yesterday. I find that if I restrict certain foods completely, then I begin to crave them and then when I finally give in, I completely gorge myself and then feel guilty about it the next day. If you want ice cream, eat ice cream, just log it and adjust your other meals to compensate, add in a little exercise and stay within your daily calorie count. It's your plan, your body and your food. Hang in there.
  • Iheartrunning36
    Iheartrunning36 Posts: 73 Member
    I'm sorry my comment was never meant to be rude at all and historically I have never posted anything rude. I work in health care and just needing clarification, I thought it was a typo when she posted about anorexia given what she followed with in her own statement. Totally innocent. Sorry.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    Although different circumstances, I can relate as I have a history of clinical anorexia as well as intermittent issues with bulimia. In fact, I have fought the mental battles on and off for close to thirty years now. I have had periods where I have been fine and have been close to what one would term 'normal' but then a stressor will fling me right back into obsessing over my weight, food, clothing size and exercise amounts. I was doing great back in 2013/2014, focused on fitness and strength to a point I did not even weigh myself, but have slipped backwards this year and am now at the very bottom of BMI for my height.

    The only positive is that I am a very routined person and part of my routine is ensuring I get my protein, my fats, healthy carbs and that I eat a reasonable amount, ie, at least 1800 calories, often over 2000. Maybe if you could somehow swing your focus around to fitness, strength and food as fuel, it might help. Research can help in this area, it did for me. I never did and never would venture into keto as for some, carbs can be necessary for mental health if they already struggle with depression etc. Feel free to add me. I could sure use some support myself.
  • hydechildcare
    hydechildcare Posts: 142 Member
    cspong wrote: »
    Hey guys.

    My counsellor knows and I have an appointment with my dr soon. But, I've run into anorexia again (atypical, since I'm obese). I'm terrified to eat carbs. I've been eating about 800 calories a day.

    Today my brain fog hit so hard someone was talking to me and he repeated it multiple times and I literally couldn't understand him. The same thing happened right afterwards with someone else. It was like they were speaking another language.

    And it scared me. I think I need to eat a greater variety of food to offset this (and obvious more calories)... but I feel like I'll immediately gain like crazy if I do.

    So, I just need you all to beat logic into me. How do you eat carbs and lose? How do you eat over 1000 calories and lose?

    Edit: I'm not arguing about the diagnosis. I got it as a teen and it's atypical because I never hit underweight. I love how sensitive you all are :/

    As I started my journey with weight loss this time. I said no starchy carbs till I can handle them (they are my trigger food). I made sure to up my protein at least 6-8 oz at a meal. And to double up my vegetables. I also would eat nuts as a snack. At 1.5 months in I started adding back in rice and bread but only 1 a day. I keep up with protein and vegetables. I just add anywhere from 100-200 calories in starchy carbs. So far no extra weight gain in fact next week is my 2 months on here and I have lost more this month than last month. I feel like that one serving of bread or rice has given me a little more energy. I have increased my steps by about 4,000 per day. I was sure to get as close to my 1200 as possible eating just meat and vegetables. It is a trial an error. I really recommend taking measurements. When my weight holds for a week I take my measurement. I don't worry about if it hasn't increase size. I also know that Thursdays are my lightest day. I am going to add you. Please add me. I have done the under eating and it has never lasted I have never made it to month 2 before. I am still going strong with 8 days to go.
  • jondspen
    jondspen Posts: 253 Member
    Raw broccoli, cauliflower, carrots with Sabra Red Pepper hummus. It's not a lot of carbs, but (1) is low calorie, (2) is filling, (3) and while low in carbs...that's all it is (no fat or protein to speak of). I have gluten problems, and have to be careful where I get my carbs from anyways. A banana and Quaker apple cinnamon rice cake is also a good choice for carbs with low calories, and is pretty tasty IMHO.
  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
    It's all just math. Your body needs X amount of calories to run, your job is to figure out how to make all your food add up to that number. Nothing is bad or good as long as your final number matches with what you need. Carbs, fat, protein, macros can all come in later once you consistently hit your calorie equation.

    I like to think like that sometimes, it kind of detaches you from thinking guilty thoughts about bad food or unhealthy calories. It's all just a matter of your smaller numbers equaling out to your daily big number.
  • baoyaoren
    baoyaoren Posts: 11 Member
    Read about the Minnesota Starvation Experiment. It should be an eye-opener.

    The short version is that restrictive eating (in an environment where food is available) leads to the kind of behaviour we know as eating disorders. And that these become self-perpetuating. That's what you're up against.
    But it also means that your problem is not what you are, nor a monolithic disease, but that it's the behaviour patterns underlying that disease. And those can be changed - only, it often needs many attempts, different approaches and practice to do so. In my opinion, that's the main thing a councellor does; s/he supports you and helps you pick yourself up when another attempt seems to have failed (but is, in fast, a new experience, something you have learnt from.)

    I know that wall in one's head. Used to have it mainly with fat, though. Either way, I'm sure you understand the rational approach or are capable of reading up on it. I assume the problem is not *what* you are supposed to do, but *how* to try doing it?

    Ketogenic diets and extreme calorie reduction don't work together, because out body just can't make up its own nutrients out of thin air to function in ketosis. If you're anorectic, it's probably harder to stop restricting too much than to stop the ketosis, so I agree with upping the carb intake as your first step. Make sure to take some multivitamin/mineral supplement if you aren't already taking one because, well. It's useless to healthy people, but if you're not healthy, it's a way of giving you more time and energy to become healthy.

    And - you know, anything goes. It really depends on when you eat, what you eat, how you eat it.Whether you can add new, better rules until you stop hurting yourself, or whether any change makes the whole thing break down and get worse.
    Veggies is one option. Solid ones would be really, really hard for me in that situation, tbh.
    Drinking the carbs may work, because liquids are easier to swallow when you're super anxious. So, soups with puréed veggies. Green smoothies. The great thing with these is that you can control calorie/nutrient density.
    If necessary, work your way up to normal serving sizes, to including a bit of potato in a soup or fruit in a smoothie. And try to eat solid carbs whenever you feel up to it.

    Also, upping your carbs when you're still under maintenance intake will not make you gain real weight. It might however make your weight fluctuate a bit until it gets used to what you're eating. If you have a problem with the scale, it helps to average your weight over a week, even over a month when you have your menses, to get reliable readings on real change.
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