Binge eating problem

aifos99

A little more than a year ago I lost about 30 pounds (from 294 to 260) in one summer. It was great I was eating healthy and starting to exercise. Then, I just kinda let myself go. Now im at my highest (330). Everyday I have the thought that I should eat better, etc. But I get some sort of huge anxiety when I start eating that I cant stop easily. I eat to the point where I am painfully full. This happens mostly with chips, (hot cheetos or anything spicy). Whenever I try to stop I get like this sort of brain itch that makes me not stop thinking about eating and eating more. I need help very bad.

kommodevaran

This is a textbook example of how restrictive eating/mindset leads to unwanted thoughts about and behavior around food. Your eating is disordered, but your reactions are completely normal:
You decide you want to lose weight, eat healthy and exercise, start up, excited, and get results.
Then something happens, often nothing we can pinpoint, just "life gets in the way", and we blame ourselves.
Then we eat even more and stop exercising.

Just the idea of "eating better" fills you with dread. Because this means to you that you can never eat anything you like anymore. This creates a deep internal conflict - between the wants and the shoulds. That is exhausting. You may even want to rebel. So you go to one last splurge, and make it count. And as you've already broken your resolve, you can as well go on and get it over with. This "last time" doesn't happen once, it repeats itself, indefinetely, until you break the cycle.

Educate yourself. Learn about nutrition. Learn what constitutes a healthy diet, and learn how to spot fads and myths and fearmongering. Google "healthy relationship with food", "normal eating". Observe how normal weight people who seem relaxed around food, eat. Strategically allocate your calories so that your diet is both delicious and nutritious - you can certainly make room for treats. Plan your meals and buy only what you need for those meals. Learn how to cook if you don't already, and cook more. Schedule meals, and then portion out appropriate portions (MFP, your food diary and a food scale will tell you how much is appropriate), enjoy it, and eat up what you served yourself. Keep doing this.

Learn to handle emotions more effectively. It's good to eat, but not to overeat, and eating doesn't fix any problems unless the problem is hunger. If you need professional help with emotions, self image issues, etc, do not hesitate to talk to your doctor about it, and get a referral.