Will Always Feel Like "The Fat Girl"

aimeetu

I've been up and I've been down (although never satisfied with where I am) I always still feel like the fat girl in the room, I am at a reasonable weight and know in my head that it's not true but that is the feeling I always have. Any one else have that feeling?

wizzybeth

You might want to consider counseling to help you with your self-esteem issues. Or you might want to have on hand some affirmations to repeat to yourself when these thoughts creep in.

JeromeBarry1

You've lost 31 lb from your start weight on mfp, so clearly you've lost some weight. Our self-perception changes more slowly than our physical appearance does. It actually lags the truth as we gain and as we lose. You simply continue eating proper portions and stay as active as you wish, you'll continue to lose weight or maintain at your lower weight. Eventually, your self-image will catch up to your body.

kelsiestoner

I absolutely know how you feel. It's like lowkey body dysmorphic disorder, where you can only see yourself in a certain way with fatal flaws. When I see pictures of myself I sometimes don't recognize who it is, because when I look in the mirror I always see that same fat girl I was in high school.

Tacklewasher

Some days I feel 330 lbs. I was that weight for so long it's hard to get around that. But the scales shows ~225 (even less 2 days last week) and I KNOW I don't weigh that much, but yeah, sometimes it feels like it. I'm chalking it up to being obese for so long that it's going to take time for my brain to catch up.

Biggest thing is to not let that "feeling" drive further weight loss to the point you're unhealthy. If you find yourself doing that, then yeah, it would be time for counseling.

fitoverfortymom

I have to remind myself when I interact with people now (especially strangers), that they don't see a fat girl. It is totally a weird feeling. I don't see myself as fat any more, although I definitely identify as slightly overweight (because I am). If you feel you are struggling to see yourself as the weight you are, some counseling might help, too. There's a lot of feelings wrapped up in being fat.

JaydedMiss

I was blissfully in denial when i was fat, Just didnt care. My waist was still thinner thn my hips/chest so i was like yup im hourglass im good. Wasnt until i lost alot of weight i began to feel like the fat girl hah. Now im small enough a basic meal makes me look pregnant. Thats a hard one to wrap my brain around sometimes lol

Pamshebamm181

I felt that way for a long, long, long time, even after losing 35 pounds.
It can take a while for your brain to catch up with your body.

MsMaeFlowers

I see that I'm small, but when I am around other small women, I still feel like the biggest one. Not that I was even that big to start with. I think it just takes time for your brain to catch up with what your body actually looks like. Especially compared to other people.

wxlaw

I totally understand how you feel. I'm from Asia and most Asian girls are so skinny and underweight. I'm in the normal BMI range but I always feel and told by others that I'm fat simply because I look larger in size in comparison with other Asian girls.

ashliedelgado

I think it's unlikely that you will feel this way forever. Somewhere between 50 and 60lbs I woke up one day and actually felt smaller, felt like I actually took up less space.

jennydelgado09

It's always good to just do a before and after picture every now and then. I recently had a baby and I feel so huge and flabby. I am flabby lol. But i forget how far I've come. I'm still wearing a size I haven't been in since 8th/9th grade. I get so down but when I do I take a picture of myself and compare it to where I started. I think we get so use to seeing ourselves at our current weight that we forget how far we've come.

TxTiffani

I never saw myself as my actual size unless I saw myself in a picture...I’m 20lbs down now and now look the way I always thought I looked in my head So I don’t feel like I’ve lost any weight LOL

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meganpettigrew86

I still feel like the fatty, I can't stop poking my ribs or staring in the mirror particularly as my shoulders have taken a muscular form. I still feel awkward selecting size 8 rather than size 14, I feel like someone is going to think "no way she can fit that" .

tess5036

I know exactly how you feel, I still have difficulty believing how much weight I have lost, and don't always recognise myself in the mirror. However, it seems that the self perception is simply lagging behind, as I am getting used to it. So, it is likely that those feeling will fade as you get used to your new shape. Well done on the weight loss!

pkweier

I went shopping yesterday and was able to get into s size 12. I used to wear a size 28/30. I'm still thinking who is this lady

mroloff

I’m right there with you. I’ve lost a lot of weight in the last year or so (120+ lbs) but more often than not I feel like I’m still the same person I was before I started all of this. I always perceive myself as the largest person in the room, regardless of whether that’s true or not. Sometimes it is, I still have another 50 pounds or so to lose, but definitely not all the time. I still assume I can’t do things because of my size when that’s not true anymore. I still assume that no one wants to talk to me except out of pity. He saddest part about that last one is that I had very little evidence to support it when I was heavier - it’s almost entirely fed by my own insecurities and self doubts.

Pictures have been helping me lately. I have a photo album on my phone with pictures of myself over the last year. When I look at them back to back, the difference is impossible to ignore. As the person going through it, it’s so easy to get too close to it. You see your self every day so the change is too gradual for your brain to register. I’m also trying to focus more on the things my body can do now that it certainly couldn’t do before. None of this is foolproof and I definitely still have days where my brain is stuck in my old body but it helps anyway.

lil_moniQ

I actually suffered from the same thing some months ago. Now I'm physically back to being the (ahem) "fat" girl....

I let my own negativity sink in and let myself slide downwards...

I think counselling is important... But most of all... Realizing your own self-worth is too.

I have yet to find this balance between my mind and body. You're not the only one.

baoyaoren

You're not the only one. Counseling may be necessary if it causes you significant distress.
If it's something you've been able to bear until now, it's possible to beat it by focusing your attention on other things. "The fat girl" is an identity, and it generally is pulled up to the surface in social situations in which your looks or body are liable to become a topic, be it because people use superficialities as a proxy to guide their interactions, be it because they're sad, sad people.
Second group deserves to be ignored. First group deserves other focus points. Things you can do. (Including things your body can do!) Things you like. Things they can do. Things they like. If these identities are strengthened, those related to looks or things you can't just immediately change about yourself, they will still be there, but hopefully lose a big part of their importance. Because there's so much more to you than 'the fat girl' or 'the girl who used to be fat'.