Don't know where to start! Addicted to takeaway food and miserable about weight!

lucerorojo

So are you living at home? Who is cooking the meals that you are eating and then afterwards ordering take away? If you don't like what is being served for dinner, can you just skip it? It would be cheaper and easier (and perhaps healthier) to eat the dinner with your family, BUT if you don't like what they are cooking, then eating one meal is better than eating two (the take away afterwards). Can you plan to cook ahead of time for the family and prepare something you really enjoy? So much that you will not need to eat take away later?

ipmac22

What if every time you had that strong craving, you did some sort of workout or drank a bunch of tea or water? If you went for a short walk and drank a bunch of water every night when tempted to order take out, would it divert your attention and take some energy away from wanting to go get food? Or what if you created a reward system? Instead of spending the 10 on the food, for every night you don't, you put 5 away for a special reward that you want? It would save money plus give you a reward allowance?

acorsaut89

As with anyone who struggles with food addictions there's often multiple facets as to why this is happening. I am a binge eater - I don't ever say "was" because any day could trigger that for me - and historically I have eaten 4,000 calories in one sitting.

Until about 6 months ago I never talked to anyone about it, and I never really ate in front of people so that's why many people didn't understand how I'd ever got "so big". But I did talk to a counsellor who specializes in eating disorders and trauma. I was in a very mentally and emotionally abusive relationship for 6 years. I am, overall, a fairly successful person: I have a graduate degree, I own my home, I pay my own bills, I have lost 100+ lbs on my own, I have a great career that's just starting out with an (almost) endless amount of possibilities, I have friends who love me, an amazing family and I volunteer in my community. I also run and work out 5-6 days/week. So by most standards I have a pretty fulfilling life, but I often still feel empty and overwhelmingly alone. I am one of the few single friends left, everyone around me has a partner and/or family and is settling down . . I am still single, alone, no one wants to settle down with me. And often that was a contributing factor to bingeing, but the real reason I do it is because of high-functioning depression, and slight OCD. When things aren't perfect it's like EVERYTHING might as well be falling apart; my schedule and my life has to be in place or else nothing is in place. I struggle with feeling like I am never good enough. Just ran 5K? Well, didn't do it as fast as I wanted to. Lost 10 lbs? yeh, well my goal was 12 . . . and on and on and on. When I was going to binge I would turn to chips, breads, bagels . . . anything high in processed carbs. Why? Because those foods mimic a dopamine spike in brain, which is similar to how anti-depressants work. I am not on any medication, but I do struggle with high-functioning depression.

Anyways, my point is that if the one counsellor you saw wasn't a good fit for you then find another one - I am quite positive there's someone you can just talk to . . . and there's endless online groups, or in person support groups. If you need someone to talk to, message me! I know it's not in person but I am always here.

As a side note, there's a book called Salt, Sugar, Fat. It's an amazing read! They talk about how these three ingredients, which are actually found in the food you can't get away from, mimic drug addictions for you body and brain. And the hardest part is that we can live without drugs, we can't live without food. No one is going to tell you to moderate your heroin intake, right? Food addiction is one of the hardest things. Also, habits are hard to build but once they are in place you won't look back - I promise! I struggle daily, but it's getting easier and easier. The hard days are going to be reallllllly hard, at first. But you will build tools and ways to deal with them, I promise. There's also quite a few good books on habit building and will power that, in my opinion, are worth a gander.

Please feel free to reach out at any time - it's hard to get through this, and sometimes you need a community of your people who have your back.

Best of luck on this journey - it'll always be worth it, I promise.

xo

ETA: in talking to the counsellor she suggested I start journaling and of course I was like look lady . . . I'm not gonna pour out my feelings here and sit for hours just writing and writing. But she said just try it - for like a week - and if it doesn't help, then we will find something else. Well that was like 4 months ago and I journal every day or every other. I just write whatever comes out and it really helped me. So maybe a thought for how to battle the food cravings and what ever other emotions you might have that's causing the struggle.

stucks7udent

lucerorojo wrote: »

So are you living at home? Who is cooking the meals that you are eating and then afterwards ordering take away? If you don't like what is being served for dinner, can you just skip it? It would be cheaper and easier (and perhaps healthier) to eat the dinner with your family, BUT if you don't like what they are cooking, then eating one meal is better than eating two (the take away afterwards). Can you plan to cook ahead of time for the family and prepare something you really enjoy? So much that you will not need to eat take away later?

I live alone the majority of the time whilst in education. So I cook the meals and then I order the takeaways. Unfortunately I can relay blame onto other parties (and even if other parties were involved, they certainly wouldn't be forcing me to eat... it's all on me).

When I am home, I split the cooking between myself and mum. Can't say I ever really dislike anything we make - the only thing I can say is that it's not takeaway. So it's not fulfilling to me - but that's purely down to cravings currently.

Problem with takeaway food is, it's filling for the moment but later I'm hungry again. Aware this happens with junk food.

I know I need to just kick eating rubbish food otherwise there's no break... I'll keep going how I am.

Planning currently is definitely something I can work on though. Right now for example, I have nothing in the fridge to eat. My options are going to the shop, which I can't be bothered to do or order takeaway. I'm going to go to the shop in a minute, but usually ordering takeaway would win whilst I feel this way.

ipmac22 wrote: »

What if every time you had that strong craving, you did some sort of workout or drank a bunch of tea or water? If you went for a short walk and drank a bunch of water every night when tempted to order take out, would it divert your attention and take some energy away from wanting to go get food? Or what if you created a reward system? Instead of spending the 10 on the food, for every night you don't, you put 5 away for a special reward that you want? It would save money plus give you a reward allowance?

I like this idea. I need to save money anyway, would like a holiday next year (also another reason to shed the weight now). So maybe the holiday could be my reward if I was sensible.

Thanks

lucerorojo

Thanks for your responses. So what kind of food is it that you are getting take-away? I don't live in UK and have never been there. I'm just trying to get an idea of what you are craving to see if there are some things you could substitute in your own cooking so that you wouldn't crave the take-away. It's easy enough to say go "cold turkey" but often that is too hard, especially with food. At least if you could eat at home you would know what's in it and how many calories are in it. It is almost impossible to know with take-out food what the calories are (unless it's a well known chain like McDonald's.).

For example, I stopped getting chinese take-out here once I prepared a recipe of General Tso's chicken at home. My version TASTED much better, was cheaper than buying it from the restaurant, had less calories, and had NO msg. I knew exactly what was in it and since it tasted even fresher/better it essentially cured my craving for that take-out. If I get chinese food at all now I just get a soup and an appetizer. In most cases what I can cook tastes better than the restaurant food I can afford to eat on a regular basis so there is no incentive to me to get it anymore as long as I have PLANNED and have food available to cook.

Here in the USA the fast food chains and chinese restaurants are notorious for putting MSG and other chemicals in them. I've read that some of these additivies purposely create cravings so that you buy more of their food. I do not know if that's true in the UK.

Have you been logging on MFP (at least estimating) the food you are eating, even the take-away?

When I started a few months ago I was reluctant because I thought that CICO was nonsense. My doctor recommended that I at least write down what I was eating, regardless if I cut back or not. The first day was really an eye-opener. I thought I was eating too much, but didn't know HOW much. I was shocked to see that I had been eating double what I should have been, which is why I gained weight.

You know that you are gaining weight, eating too much--the more details you have about it, the better it is IMO. Then you can start with small changes if you want to go that way. (The other way as has been mentioned to deal with the emotional/psychological issues first).

You are really young so that is in your favor. We can all change if we want to, but the younger you are, the less time you have had for bad habits to set in, and the body is very resilient.

stucks7udent

lucerorojo wrote: »

Thanks for your responses. So what kind of food is it that you are getting take-away? I don't live in UK and have never been there. I'm just trying to get an idea of what you are craving to see if there are some things you could substitute in your own cooking so that you wouldn't crave the take-away. It's easy enough to say go "cold turkey" but often that is too hard, especially with food. At least if you could eat at home you would know what's in it and how many calories are in it. It is almost impossible to know with take-out food what the calories are (unless it's a well known chain like McDonald's.).

For example, I stopped getting chinese take-out here once I prepared a recipe of General Tso's chicken at home. My version TASTED much better, was cheaper than buying it from the restaurant, had less calories, and had NO msg. I knew exactly what was in it and since it tasted even fresher/better it essentially cured my craving for that take-out. If I get chinese food at all now I just get a soup and an appetizer. In most cases what I can cook tastes better than the restaurant food I can afford to eat on a regular basis so there is no incentive to me to get it anymore as long as I have PLANNED and have food available to cook.

Here in the USA the fast food chains and chinese restaurants are notorious for putting MSG and other chemicals in them. I've read that some of these additivies purposely create cravings so that you buy more of their food. I do not know if that's true in the UK.

Have you been logging on MFP (at least estimating) the food you are eating, even the take-away?

When I started a few months ago I was reluctant because I thought that CICO was nonsense. My doctor recommended that I at least write down what I was eating, regardless if I cut back or not. The first day was really an eye-opener. I thought I was eating too much, but didn't know HOW much. I was shocked to see that I had been eating double what I should have been, which is why I gained weight.

You know that you are gaining weight, eating too much--the more details you have about it, the better it is IMO. Then you can start with small changes if you want to go that way. (The other way as has been mentioned to deal with the emotional/psychological issues first).

You are really young so that is in your favor. We can all change if we want to, but the younger you are, the less time you have had for bad habits to set in, and the body is very resilient.

McDonalds is definitely one, along with KFC (or other fried chicken type places), Pizza Hut/Dominoes Pizza, Subway - it tends to be the well known places I go for. Oddly, I don't actually like burgers or pizza typically. I mean if I bought them from a supermarket, I totally wouldn't fancy them. But takeaway, all is great. A common thing I tell my parents (they're fully aware, I don't lie to them or try hide it) is that even after I have the takeaway, I haven't enjoyed what I've eaten. It's just for some reason, I crave it and until I've fulfilled this obsessive need to have it, it won't go away.

I haven't logged on here, started today. But previously I've never gone forwards with a calorie food diary apart from a generalized food diary for the doctors to see to find out what is making me ill. Nothing really came of that though. But I've just gone shopping for today and tomorrow and will/have logged those and will try continuing to do so even if I 'fail'.

I do see your point, so like with KFC, I could find a way at home to coat and cook my own chicken rather than going to KFC who would deep fry it. Like I said, I do actually enjoy cooking (maybe an odd thing to say considering I'm complaining about takeaway food - motivating myself to cook isn't the issue though). Replacing the foods I 'crave' from a takeaway place with a similar healthy alternative is something I think I could try and do at very least.

I have fears regarding losing weight too. I will admit that the image I have of myself is very lacking currently.. to the point I just cannot look in mirrors and refuse to go clothes shopping as seeing full length mirrors very upsetting. I still think I look the way I did a few years ago, but I know that I don't? (I don't know if that makes sense?). So when I see what I look like now, I just feel repulsed and makes it difficult to live with. I worry a lot about, if I were to lose weight, then would I be happy with the end result after doing so much damage to my body? I know the stretch marks are forever and there's potential for loose skin at this point. Maybe not lots, but enough for me to be disappointed. Again, having said all this, I know that for my health I have to change and avoid getting bigger than I am now. Stretch marks and loose skin is a far better alternative than dying early would be if I continue as I am.

Appreciate your replies too, it is helpful to see how other people tackle(d) their issues or just handle their diets.

quiksylver296

I tell myself I can have what I am craving on Friday night (or whatever day in the future). I don't tell myself "no," I tell myself "not right now." By the time Friday rolls around, I usually don't want the thing I was craving any more.

jgnatca

I think you are compulsively eating. I think if you began feeling better about yourself you would eat less. In other words, your body image and your relationship with takeaway are linked.

lucerorojo

I understand how you feel about the mirrors and clothes shopping. I actually think that it is good to imagine yourself as thin and beautiful as a form of visualization. Your subconscious mind will act on it and help with the weight loss. It is not helpful to look in the mirror or go clothes shopping and make yourself feel worse. The fact that you are on here and asking for suggestions/help is already a start and a signal that you have reached the point in which you cannot continue the way you were going. That is a BIG step.

McDonald's is an easy fix. Buy some meat and make a hamburger. The one at home will be so much better--and it is easy and fast. Instead of their fries you can make some potatoes--many different ways to make potatoes. To ease from the McDs french fries, you could cut up on potato--put a tsp of olive oil in bowl, add some spices--oregano, pepper, a bit of salt. Put the potatoes in it and then bake the potatoes (on a pan of course) in the oven. Not low calorie, but at least you know what it is--if this satisfies your craving for McDonalds you'll eat one meal instead of two! If you weigh/measure you will also have a calorie count.

But even if you go to McDonald's, Pizza Hut and Subway you can google the calorie counts online--and put that in MFP. At least you will know how many cals you are eating.

ritzvin

coffee_rocks wrote: »

Hello. Everyone struggles with some type of food or activity that is a trigger to eat, and for me, even when I'm not really hungry. For example, after a long day, I enjoy watching a game on TV, but that's a trigger for me to snack. I used to easily put away 500-1,000 calories in snacking after dinner - a few cookies, a piece of cheese with crackers, a cold beer. That's 50% of my daily calories! Crazy!

Your brain is powerful, but it can be retrained. It tells you you need take-away, or salty food, or fatty food. For me, chips and cheese were slowly adding on the pounds. Now, I do this. First, when I'm enjoying a show on TV, and I want a snack, I force myself to first drink a glass of water and eat an apple. You would be amazed how often just doing this makes my craving go away. Second, I keep a pack of sugar free gum next to my chair. I'll pop in a piece of gum and chew for 20 minutes before I think about food. Third, I have some potato chips...but only once in awhile, and a very small serving. I've gone from daily bowls of chips and cookies to the occasional small serving of chips or one cookie. The change is remarkable, but it takes time. It took me over a month - probably almost two - before I really went without craving junk food all the time. Now, I actually enjoy the apple at night, and hardly ever buy the chips.

Me too. Calorie-dense snacks in the house is a definite no for me (that boredom snacking trigger is hard to overcome). And same thing with the water, and apple (slow-ish to consume for the number of calories and helps meet fiber recommendations). Next up for me is the popcorn that I started stocking in the house to reach for before the significant other's junk food stash.

ritzvin

pinuplove wrote: »

aylajane wrote: »

TavistockToad wrote: »

pinuplove wrote: »

stucks7udent wrote: »

I just can't be bothered with life really - not in a suicidal sense, but in that everything is too much effort and laying in my bed is all I want to do.

Have you spoken to a medical professional about the possibility of depression? It's not at all uncommon to turn to food to cope. You won't make any headway if you're treating symptoms rather than causes.

this.

Yes. And get some bloodwork done - low Vit D, for example, can lead people to feel depressed, tired, unmotivated. Such a simple fix. Wont help you lose weight, but may lift your mood enough to get yourself moving.

Also this! Low vit d kicked my *kitten*.

yes- vit D deficiency is extremely common in the northern US at least.

steveko89

Hey OP. I know it can be difficult having an less-than-ideal relationship with food and it's also difficult to not have an affinity for fast food in today's landscape (I'd love to go out and grab taco bell for lunch instead of what I brought from home).

I've been a user here since late 2011/early 2012 and think it's a great tool. I came upon the site after I'd been in a new job for about three months and gained at least 20lbs. It was the first job I had that involved any travel and it was oh-so-easy to find a favorite restaurant after a long day and take down an appetizer, burger, beer, and maybe even dessert on the company's dime. I knew I needed to make changes, but those changes had to be sustainable to make any lasting impact. I took a scientific approach when I started and logged everything I ate. I was floored with just how many calories I was consuming, even from my "healthy" choices from Subway or similar. MFP paired with a very half-hearted run of P90X (never did any workouts beyond the first month's set, probably only averaged 3/week, stuck with it for maybe three months) led to me dropped below the weight I was when I started that job, bottoming out around a pretty lean 160lbs (guessing about 12-13% body fat, down from ~25% at 185-190lbs).

That learning period was critical, it's vital to know oneself and the problem areas that prevent success; which it sounds like you've already identified some, now you just have to learn to defend against them. As others have mentioned, this looks differently for everyone. I had to stop carrying small bills or change with me so I wouldn't hit up the vending machine for garbage when I was bored (switched from traveling for work to being at my desk 99% of the day). My wife and I also grocery shop together to keep each other accountable about the sort of foods we buy ("oooh look, Oreos are on sale!" ... "Put them down, we don't need those, we'll just eat them", etc.).

You mentioned something else which I sure resonates with great deal of users, because I see it posted and discussed frequently; Motivation. Motivation is great, it's the catalyst which brings us to action, it's what drove you to log on to the website or download the app in the first place. The problem is that it's often fleeting and doesn't sustain actions. Cultivate structure and discipline around your goals to help you hit your marks daily and not succumb to your temptations to hit the drive-thru or order takeout, skip workouts, or any other decision that takes you further from your goal. A great deal of that may take some trial and error, I know it has for me, especially with my workouts. Empirically, it's a no brainer question; would you rather workout for 30 minutes 5-6 days/week in the afternoon, or 60-90 minutes 5 days/week at 5am in the morning? I tried the former when a friend loaned me P90X3. I figured, the original worked ok enough a few years ago, the latest and greatest at only 30 minutes a day should be cake. However, I thought the workouts were gimicky and traded quality for efficiency to get done in the allotted time. I also rarely felt like working out when I got home from work, especially to do a program I didn't like. I then tried BuiltLean, which focuses on more traditional weightlifting and got hooked. I read more about weight lifting and expanded my home gym equipment, and my workouts got longer. I was constantly excited to come home and lift, but as my workouts lengthened they began to cause a problem with when we could have dinner. I started having to cut workouts short when the wife would come home and ask "Are you close to being done yet?". My alarm is now set for 4:30am daily so I can workout before work and not interfere with dinner. I lay my workout and work clothes out the night before and have my pre-workout ready to mix with water as soon as I get up (methodology I instituted after rummaging around in the dark a time or two for my shorts). Removing as many obstacles as possible has been key to my workout success; I'm far stronger now, have more muscle mass, and can't remember the last time I skipped a workout because I just wasn't feeling like it. There have been more than a few mornings my alarm has gone off and I've said "ugh, I don't feel like lifting today... but now I'm up... and don't have to be to work until 8" so I worked out anyway.

kimny72

OP. since you've mentioned now that you just started logging,my suggestion is to stop thinking of foods as good and bad, and start logging.

I still eat fast food, takeaway, icecream, pizza, etc I just eat less than I used to and less often. This doesn't work for everyone, but I wanted to give you another perspective.

The beauty of logging is that you can start to see what the calorie-cost of your food choices are and adjust accordingly. I am a late-night snacker, so I save 100-200 calories every day to eat @ 10PM. I choose what I'm going to snack on based on how many calories I have left. There are some foods I used to eat all the time at 10PM, that I don't keep in the house anymore because they cost too many calories. But there is other yummy stuff that fits just fine, so I eat it with no guilt.

The key is to log EVERYTHING, even bad days, so you can start to see the pattern of what works and what doesn't. And you have to stop feeling guilty about your choices. Maybe start looking at it as a puzzle you need to solve.

Pre-logging can also be a big help. I log what I feel like eating, and then play around with the portion size or individual foods to make them fit. Seeing how what I feel like eating will affect my numbers sometimes makes it easier to stay on plan.

Having said all that, it really does sound like you could use some counseling for your feelings around your self worth and food, so do please continue to push for that.

So my suggestions are to start logging honestly and consistently, stop placing moral values on foods and food choices, and find ways to fit some of the foods you love into your plan. And hopefully you can get referred to a counselor soon. Good luck!

davidylin

So, the good news is that almost without exception, everyone really wants and likes calorie dense/rich food pretty much at the first thought/smell/sight of it. I'm not even British (or one of those rare other stone-unit-of-measurement using people [ps, I'm a 'murican]) but just reading your post is making me think about dipping a classic sarnie into my take out curry for the sauce and washing it all down with some chips and vinegar.

:X

It was a good survival instinct before people had regular, steady access to as many calories as they could desire throughout their entire lifetimes, as well as a powerful survival motivation. When a packet of shelf-stable pastries that pack 1/4th of a day's worth of calories in a single serving is in the corner shop under your flat for less than a pound, however... Sometimes that instinct works against us, like, four stone against us.

The good news is that this can be fixed. The bad news is that, like everything worthwhile in life, this will take some work. We can address this problem by attacking it from both sides: reduce the severity, intensity, and frequency of the cravings while simultaneously building our discipline to resist it. Like brand-new runners don't start their training routines by running a marathon off the couch, unless you have tremendous discipline and are a glutton for self-punishment (some people are), you should probably start off making sure you can walk well for a sustained period of time.

I would suggest that you seek to stabilize your diet and to understand what it is you are consuming every day to be the weight that you are. This might take a few days or a week - just get to know yourself, see what you eat, understand the story of who you are (and feel free to make healthier adjustments if you're feeling gamely for it, substitute things, add fruits & veg if you want, you know, whatever you're comfortable with). Armed with that knowledge, like knowing you can walk brisky for half an hour without dying - you can start to jog.

Knock out some of the worst of what you eat. Figure out the healthiest things you actually like and start adding more of it. See what you can do. Get to a nice jogging pace every once in a while.

Once you can jog, you can start to run. Really get to know yourself as you change. Feel the way your feet hit the pavement (food hits your stomach). Make the changes you can deal with. Help yourself.

And you're going to hit some road blocks, backwards steps, and etc. Injuries happen. Sometimes the weather is just unusually cold and icy for a week and you won't be able to get outside. Some days you just have to eat that whole box of take out curry. Don't let it stop you from getting back on the horse at your next opportunity.

Learn to walk with your diet. Learn to jog with your diet. Then learn to run. It's all progress and in time, it will all become familiar. One day you'll get a strong craving for some fatty, sweet food and you'll decide to indulge in just a scoop of ice cream (and it does the trick), you'll know that you've got a strong running game.

pinuplove

ritzvin wrote: »

pinuplove wrote: »

aylajane wrote: »

TavistockToad wrote: »

pinuplove wrote: »

stucks7udent wrote: »

I just can't be bothered with life really - not in a suicidal sense, but in that everything is too much effort and laying in my bed is all I want to do.

Have you spoken to a medical professional about the possibility of depression? It's not at all uncommon to turn to food to cope. You won't make any headway if you're treating symptoms rather than causes.

this.

Yes. And get some bloodwork done - low Vit D, for example, can lead people to feel depressed, tired, unmotivated. Such a simple fix. Wont help you lose weight, but may lift your mood enough to get yourself moving.

Also this! Low vit d kicked my *kitten*.

yes- vit D deficiency is extremely common in the northern US at least.

I don't even liven in the northern US - just work an office job and tend to stay covered/use sunscreen when I am outside to avoid burning (pasty, to say the least ) Still, I was a bit surprised mine was so low. Luckily supplementation is easy and effective.

stucks7udent

Off to bed shortly, but just wanted to thank everyone for their replies today. I'm taking it all on board and will start making changes.

Positives to having made this post today, and coming back every so often to read it are that I've completed a day working at 1200 calories. Cooked for myself and I haven't ordered any takeaway!

I also had enough calories left for a jelly and nectarine at 8pm, so now tanking up on water to try settle the urge to snack. I really REALLY want too but I won't be tonight.

Logged everything today and plan to do the same tomorrow, so I'll see how I go.

Thanks once again.

If anyone would like to add me, or would be okay with me adding them - I'd appreciate the support. Good night!

jgnatca

Good morning. I thought this comment insightful.

I really REALLY want too but I won't be tonight.

You acknowledge the feeling, and temporarily put it to bed without giving in to it. This is a neat psychological trick. You are giving yourself the power to order the takeout if you really want to, but "not tonight". Tonight was a victory. That's 500 calories you didn't need.

kenyonhaff

How about making a few baby steps. I would recommend:

Find a healthier versions of your fast food. For instance a veggie burger and baked fries instead of takeout burger.

Try one prepackaged salad.

Exercise for 30 minutes instead of tv or computer.

Next week.... Find 3 more challenges.

Big changes can be overwhelming. But three small low risk challenges....not so bad.