Advice please!!! Friend with maybe depression or sth

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camila_scl
camila_scl Posts: 238 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have a group of friends, we're 10 total. We've been best friends since we are 11 years old. Actually, they have been friends longer, but I met them at 11. We manage to stay super close even though we did high school at differents schools and even after all of us studied at different college (in the same city though).

One of them, lets call him C. disappeard. At first we thought it was because he had a new (and first) girlfriend and had too much to do in school, that's pretty normal. But then he changed his phone number, delete his facebook and open a new one without us, that was not normal. When we manage to call him at his house he was really mean, like we call him to ask how hes doing and it was like talking to a wall, we start worrying and send him a couple of emails/messages to his new facebook. He called another friend (Let's call him A.), to tell him that he had no interest whatsoever to see us. That was really weird, so I went to his house to try and talk to him and see for my self what the heck happend to him. He wasn't at home so I left.

Yesterday I received an email saying "I don't know if A. told you, So I'm telling you now, I have no interest in seeing you guys. Please do not attempt to come by my house again. I don't want you guys in my life anymore. It was really annoying having to open this old email account and writing you, so stop. I will erase this email forever and I do not want to repeat this Goodbye."

Now I'm just really pissed off and hurt, that email is like an email you send to and Ex boyfriend/girlfriend who screwup your life, you know, and we haven't done ANYTHING to him, so even though we are piss off by his behaviour we are also really worried about him, like what the hell is wrong with him, maybe he's depressed or something.

We decided to talk to his mom, to see if his behaviour is just with us or also with everyone, and to let her know that we feel he's not ok, so she can pay attention in case he has depression or something. But I'm not sure if its a good idea. I've thought it may be his girlfriend, maybe she's a major psyco, but I don't know, even though she is a crazy girl, it must be something wrong with him also right?

What do you think? This is so weird I could really use some advice or if anyone has dealt with something like this I could use your expierence.

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  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Had this happen to me, with a friend I had known since I was 2. After her parents had a very messy divorce she wanted nothing to do with me (I was a constant reminder of her evil mother). I doubt it's depression, it simply sounds more like he's changed because somethings come up in his life-possibly the GF.

    There's nothing you can do, just move on and let him back into your life he he wants when he's dealt with whatever's come up. It's frustrating but in my experience, not worth dwelling on.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
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    I agree with Snazzy. Just move on. Crap happens and people change. I think pursuing this will just piss him off even more. If and when he wants to talk he knows how to contact you. It's hard but it happens.

    Good luck!
  • 43932452
    43932452 Posts: 7,246 Member
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    I agree .. one day he may come around but for now he flatly stated his
    wishes. Respect that .. he might be finding his adult self and wishes to
    forget his youth.
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    Respect his wishes.

    You still have a group of 9 friends then. Could be the girlfriend, could be something else.

    And above all, I would not go to his mother. He already wrote you the email about leaving him alone. I wouldn't want to find out what may happen if he finds out you went to his mother behind his back...
  • rainunrefined
    rainunrefined Posts: 850 Member
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    If this was one of my good friends, I would call their mom or someone else in the family just to check or alert them. Sometimes people do change, but chances are SOMETHING happened to trigger this behavior whether you're aware of it or not. After I talked to the family member I would let it go. Either your friend will get over the problem and come around or they won't. You've made it clear that you care, but continuing to pursue that friendship would be considered harassment (legally speaking).
  • camila_scl
    camila_scl Posts: 238 Member
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    If this was one of my good friends, I would call their mom or someone else in the family just to check or alert them. Sometimes people do change, but chances are SOMETHING happened to trigger this behavior whether you're aware of it or not. After I talked to the family member I would let it go. Either your friend will get over the problem and come around or they won't. You've made it clear that you care, but continuing to pursue that friendship would be considered harassment (legally speaking).

    We are not trying to get him back by talking to his mother, we just want to alert her that it might be something going on with him that might be wrong or just might be that he just changed, so she can do or be alert if anything.
  • camila_scl
    camila_scl Posts: 238 Member
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    Thank you all for your advice.

    like I said, we are not trying to get him back by talking to his mother, we just want to alert her that it might be something going on with him that might be wrong or just might be that he just changed, so she can do or be alert if anything.

    If he comes back, good if he doesn't well, that's too bad, we don't want to force him or anything.

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