Need advice, can't post on facebook

sturgeonml2017
sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
Best Best friend ever ia getting married and I'm attending the overnight bachelorette trip. Huge deal since ill be leaving my hubby and 1 year old overnight, I'm kinda freaked but its my best friend since childhood and I want to be there for her. Question is what do I do if they get a stripper? Well I guess not what but how because I'm not a a stripper type person anyways, but also I feel like it would be disrespectful to my husband to take part. How do I excuse myself without seeming like a total party pooper and nerd.
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Replies

  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    What do you have against strippers? Strippers need loving too, ya know.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Lol. I'm just backwards and it makes me uncomfortable...lol. I could suck that up for her, but I try to ask myself what I would want my husband to do in the same situation.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Lol. I'm just backwards and it makes me uncomfortable...lol. I could suck that up for her, but I try to ask myself what I would want my husband to do in the same situation.

    Your husband would probably have a good old ogle, have a good time with his friends, and not think twice.

    Haha...This!!
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?
  • rugratz2015
    rugratz2015 Posts: 593 Member
    Who's organising it? Not everyone gets a stripper.
    - I think the important person here is the bride, if she wants one then fair enough, you will have to put up with it, but if she doesn't then maybe you should make that point to whoever is organising that the bride won't like it.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Its not an insecurity thing with either of us, it's respect for the other person. Not putting yourself in a situation that shows disrespect for your spouse. My husband did not and does not tell me what I can and cannot do. All I was simply asking was if the situation becomes one in which I feel like its not appropriate for me, what is a classy way to excuse myself. Every person and every marriage is different. And we just so happen to think this way...if you would be uncomfortable with the other doing it, dont do it yourself. To ypur point rugratz, your right it ia a big if question, I'm a crazy person who stresses too much and can't sleep because I'm stressed about being away from my little one. If there happens to be one, I just need to remember Its for her, not me and like I said if something gives me that uncomfprtable feel then I will excuse myself.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Oh and thank you ironanwine. Good way to look at it.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?

    No, I'm saying he wouldn't ogle girls and lie to me about it like the others suggested.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    its not like like the stripper is going to have sex with you. or kiss you. or do anything with you. relax. have fun. its for the bride, not for you. if your husband is so insecure he doesnt even want you AROUND a stripper (thats not even meant for YOU) .... you have far bigger issues.

    Let's not evaluate the whole OP's relationship based on 4 sentences she wrote.
  • mnalsa83
    mnalsa83 Posts: 181 Member
    You could always talk to the bride. Let her know you're fine if she chooses but that you personally are uncomfortable and perhaps just let her know for that one activity you'll fly solo and find something else to do for the evening but that you'll be fine to attend other events planned.
    I'm not comfortable around them either and my one girlfriend did a stripper club. We got a booth, the guys mainly we're on stage. The bride's we're the only ones who got up there. At the end, the guys walked around and the few of us that were uncomfortable just sat back talking and a few of us excused ourselves to go outside.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    edited October 2017
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?

    No, I'm saying he wouldn't ogle girls and lie to me about it like the others suggested.

    Okay then..if you find out that there will be a stripper, mention it to your husband. And go have fun. The stripper will be just a small part of the party. Be a good sport for your friend. You don't have to interact with him if you don't want to. This is about the bride having fun.
    We all need to unplug for a evening.
    Have fun.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    A well timed bout of dysentery is all you require.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?

    No, I'm saying he wouldn't ogle girls and lie to me about it like the others suggested.

    Who said anything about lying to you about it?
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Who is organizing the event? Ask them what the plan is instead of assuming.
    Talk to the bride about it in advance. If she is your best friend she will understand and not want you to be uncomfortable.
    If you are uncomfortable with a stripper just plan leave during that portion of the event. Don't make a big deal about it in the moment. Maybe go get more food or drinks or say you are tired.
    If it is going to be strippers as the focus of the whole trip maybe get together with the bride and let her know you aren't comfortable attending that kind of event. Get together with her to do something else another time.
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  • caittroy1234
    caittroy1234 Posts: 19 Member
    Married 25 years. Twice friends organised strippers for me. My hen do and when I emigrated and while I was super uncomfortable about the scenario, I just laughed it off. I honestly cant see the big deal as you are not being unfaithful to your husband. I had to rub oil on horrid guy at one event, enough to make you puke. My hubby would only see a problem if I was insecure about it and if I made it into a big deal. Chill girl its for your friend. Its not you rhat has to take part, just laugh it off.
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  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    hellvee wrote: »
    Hey, technical user here.

    If you don't have the ability to post on Facebook, you should try restarting your device. If that doesn't work, are you sure wherever you're trying to write has the ability to actually do that. Sometimes friends turn off walls and you won't be able to leave any messages for them.

    If all else fails, strip away all the addons in your browser (like ad-block) and try again.

    Lastly, you can submit a request to Facebook support and I'm sure if you put a $5 bill in Mark Zuckerberg's belt he'll service you right away.

    Sincerely,
    Oscar Oblivious

    I'm guessing the OP couldn't post on Facebook due to it being a personal situation that might offend the bride/friends/husband etc?
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    This would be a lighthearted and funny conversation between me and my husband. He wouldn't care in the least and neither would I if strippers were attending. I am not sure how to word it other than if you have trust, respect, etc. today it does not fly out the window because a party is going to have strippers. Strippers are just a novelty at the party.

    Anyhoo this is a conversation between you two and when the foundation of marriage is right, something like this should not be a big deal.
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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    Can't figure out why looking at a naked body of someone else other than your SO is so taboo. I can promise you that just about every man has seen another naked body other than his SO's just watching movies.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    I think if you're there just chilling out and looking it's no big deal. Trying to hit them up outside the club for a quickie afterwards is a problem however ...
  • MinuitMinuet
    MinuitMinuet Posts: 156 Member
    "I'm sorry, can I use your bathroom?" If it starts to get uncomfortable.

    You are not backwards. Respect for your spouse is not backwards. I wouldn't like it either, but I would look for an excuse to bow out like a bathroom break or grab a drink from the kitchen or step outside to call and check on baby.
  • scarlett_k
    scarlett_k Posts: 812 Member
    Stand out of the way and gaze at your navel.