How can a smart person be so stupid about weight loss?

lorrpb

Maybe the last 10 lbs is too much for you. It's better to weigh 10 lbs more and be able to maintain it, than yo-yo all the time.
All the reasons you mention are the things you need to consider to decide "how important" this is to you. I made a conscious decision before I started that I had to make changes I could live with long term. I also spent 2+ years of losing 150 to ponder what had gone wrong in the past, why I couldn't maintain, and what I was going to do differently this time. The result sounds so simple. I always thought I would be able to maintain ok because I had worked so hard to lose (30 1st time, 60 2nd time, now it was 150). But I didn't have a plan as to what to do if I regained. Now I've set myself a 5 lb maintenance range. If I get to the top of the range, even if I think it's water weight, I cut back about 100-200 calories per day until I'm back in mid range. It has worked well for 1 year of maintenance. It's so simple, yet so profound. It took me 60 years to figure out weight management, although I'd figured out the rest of life (more or less) 20 years ago.
Hope something in this helps you.

ZoneFive

You're far from stupid. All of us have had to learn the lesson that dieting isn't the be-all and end-all -- life is, and making a good and healthy life for ourselves and our families is. I admit to being remarkably thick on this lesson!

The road doesn't end at goal weight. Keep going, even if the road has to loop around a few times!

gita9999

I really believe that weight loss is so hard for a lot of us regardless of intelligence. Our minds are programmed to reward us for eating. I've found that trying switching the reward to something else had helped me (like mfp!!) - how many steps I can get in a day, or how good I am at keeping up a good gym schedule, pushing myself to lifting heavier weights, etc.

Goober1142

Just keep swimming...if you fall off the wagon get back on the next day.

Packerjohn

A similar reason as why some men can be so smart in most things, but terrible with women. The are letting another bodypart do the thinking.

You have mentioned you're goal oriented. How about looking a a performance based goal instead of weight loss. Make a goal to be able to do 10 pull ups by a certain date (have some intermittent goals if you want). Chances are if you're 100 pounds overweight you won't get to the goal. Work at it, lose some weight and you probably can. You'll be lighter and stronger.

Best of luck.

Gisel2015

Take a look at this thread; maybe you can find what you are looking for.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818701/the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead/p1

nowine4me

Chris - it might also benefit you to assemble a "team" since you have the resources and most likely very limited time. Perhaps a dietician to help organize a plan, a meal prep service to provide healthy breakfasts, lunches and snacks a trainer or coach to keep your fitness on point. Not for a few months, but for as long as it takes. Simply planning and packing my meals every day and only eating what I brought has been a key to my success. It saves time and prevents having to make decisions when I'm already hungry. I avoid lunch meetings like the plague.

corinasue1143

You're smart. You have asked the question. You must be the one to answer it for yourself. Why do you do this to yourself? How can you make it better?

Sumiblue

middlehaitch wrote: »

Sounds like your goal oriented and like to get the the job done efficiently, and that is what you do with your weight loss.

You go for the win. 90 lbs in 7 months!
Yup, you get the weight off fast, probably too fast. The weight loss is your goal, with no plan for maintenance built into it.

Take a step back, plan a slower more sustainable method of losing that has a way to maintain built in.

2 lbs a week until you hit 50 to lose, 1.5 until you have 30, then 1lbs a week until the last 10-15.

Work in the food you like, candy and pasta are fine, just keep them within your calorie goal.

Not sure what your business is, but I can bet thee is a 5 year plan built for development and growth, otherwise you wouldn't be successful. Transfer some of those methodologies over to your weight loss plan for long term sustainability.

Cheers, h.

She is 100% right. Goals and planning

Sumiblue

Also. Losing 90 lbs in 7 months is pretty fast. We’re your calories too low, setting you up for cravings and binging? Fast weight loss usually means loss of muscle mass. When you gain weight back rapidly it’s mostly fat.
Find a strength program and do it, follow a reasonable deficit eating plan and succeed. If you want to maintain weight loss you have to be consistent.

cbelc2

I think the trick here is to view food in a new light. It’s nourishment. I can have fun in different ways. For me, it’s easier to resist refined carbs if I don’t consume them. I’m a nurse (on my 20th or so weight loss quest!) and I get medical journals. I read an article today on fatty liver (1 in 3 American adults have it) that frightened me into doubling my efforts to get this weight off for good. So I journal my food in MFP and stick to a Mediterranean Diet and drag myself around the block and into the gym. It’s paying off for now, and I think it will pay off for the long haul.

JoLightensUp

amusedmonkey wrote: »

Because just like the aspects you mentioned, weight needs ongoing management. You didn't get a job, consider it goal achieved, then stopped showing up to work. You also did not put your life on hold, ignore your family life, let your health go, or stopped doing the things you enjoy in order to get a job you hate and don't plan to continue doing. That's weight management for you. You need to keep an eye on it for good, like you do with your finances. You need to make it work and balance it well with the other aspects of your life and your own sanity, you also need to make sure it's something you'll want to continue doing, like you do with your job. A large plate of pasta does not ruin a diet just like one argument does not ruin a marriage

You need to learn how to make your diet work WITH your life and not as a program on the side. 10 lbs in 3 weeks indicates that you are restricting your calories a lot. Feeling bad about pasta and sugary treats means that your diet is far removed from your usual diet. The best way forward is to make your weight loss diet as close to your usual diet as possible while still within calories. Want a huge bowl of pasta? Sure, but not as often, and without feeling guilty. Or add lots of vegetables to it and not too much fat so you get to eat a huge bowl of pasta more often without taking a huge hit to the calories. My own mantra for anything I decide to do with my diet is: will this make dieting easier? Do I see myself doing this 10 years from now?

This is great advice. I wish I had approached weight loss with this mindset before. It is the mindset that that I am trying to adopt now.

The only other thought I had is that you are a goal-oriented guy. I reckon you would benefit from setting fitness goals. Set yourself some challenges and you might find that focusing on that helps shift your attitude to food AND is more rewarding. I mean, weight loss is like a one-time challenge isn't it, with sometimes only one clear reward: yay, I lost! Then you're into the routine of maintaining, which seems kind of boring when you put it in a fight against yummy food with its instant rewards. Not only that, if you haven't found a strategy to incorporate foods you love into your diet before you get to maintenance, I'm betting my money on yummy food winning!

With fitness, you can keep setting new goals on and on. I see all the veterans on here that are maintaining and notice that a lot of them have shifted their focus to kicking fitness goals and that keeps it exciting.

xvolution

Even if you're a smart guy, it's impossible to know everything from the start. Instead of beating yourself up about it, do some research and a bit of trial and error to see what works. What works for one person won't necessarily work as well for you. Only way to be sure is to try it out and see if it works or not.

kgb6days

I do the same kind of thing. DH and I call it 'unleashing the beast' when we eat something sweet because that starts a cycle of overeating sweet things and then feeling guilty until we can rope it back in - usually after feeling like crap and gaining back some weight. I think for me sugar is an addiction. It makes me feel different. I can be stressed and pop a bit of chocolate or cake or ice cream in my mouth and I immediately start to feel different. Dang but I get frustrated with myself

LivingtheLeanDream

What a great title for a post and a lot of the time so very true!

For me after years of yoyo dieting and always re-gaining, something just clicked almost 6 years ago when I started my final weight loss journey - this time round was about eating in a way that I could do so long term/rest of my life and simply making an effort to move more. I'm almost 5 years at maintenance so I've found what works for me.

I'm hoping you will find your ending different this time, all the best.

Chris_2013

RunRutheeRun wrote: »

What a great title for a post and a lot of the time so very true!

For me after years of yoyo dieting and always re-gaining, something just clicked almost 6 years ago when I started my final weight loss journey - this time round was about eating in a way that I could do so long term/rest of my life and simply making an effort to move more. I'm almost 5 years at maintenance so I've found what works for me.

I'm hoping you will find your ending different this time, all the best.

5 years of maintenance - amazing! I aspire to that.

Chris_2013

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I have some learning to do. A few folks have hit some key points I agree with, losing too fast (once I get started I jump right into the deep end and want the results NOW!) and not setting longer term realistic goals. I appreciate the effort people put into topics on these forums to help other they don't even know; what a resource!

As for those asking about my financial status - although true I should not have put that in my post as it does nothing to endear me to others who may be struggling with their own finances. I'm an entrepreneur by nature and have been motivated by money since I was a kid. Wife and I have always focussed on our future and we live beneath our means while I also make a significant income through my very successful business. I need to get control of my weight on a permanent basis or I fear I won't be around for a very long or healthy retirement to enjoy the fruits of our efforts.

amusedmonkey

Keep reading the forums. A wealth of information and tricks on how to make your diet more sustainable. A few quibbles and disagreements, too, but that's the nature of any open opinion forum. I have been around for nearly 6 years and I'm still learning new things and trying to build habits or improve on the habits I've already built.

Djproulx

Chris_2013 wrote: »

amusedmonkey wrote: »

Because just like the aspects you mentioned, weight needs ongoing management. You didn't get a job, consider it goal achieved, then stopped showing up to work. You also did not put your life on hold, ignore your family life, let your health go, or stopped doing the things you enjoy in order to get a job you hate and don't plan to continue doing. That's weight management for you. You need to keep an eye on it for good, like you do with your finances. You need to make it work and balance it well with the other aspects of your life and your own sanity, you also need to make sure it's something you'll want to continue doing, like you do with your job. A large plate of pasta does not ruin a diet just like one argument does not ruin a marriage

You need to learn how to make your diet work WITH your life and not as a program on the side. 10 lbs in 3 weeks indicates that you are restricting your calories a lot. Feeling bad about pasta and sugary treats means that your diet is far removed from your usual diet. The best way forward is to make your weight loss diet as close to your usual diet as possible while still within calories. Want a huge bowl of pasta? Sure, but not as often, and without feeling guilty. Or add lots of vegetables to it and not too much fat so you get to eat a huge bowl of pasta more often without taking a huge hit to the calories. My own mantra for anything I decide to do with my diet is: will this make dieting easier? Do I see myself doing this 10 years from now?

Sigh... nail hits head. I should read this once a week for a while. Thanks.

^^This is it in a nutshell.

I made countless attempts at weight loss with varying degrees of success, only to backslide each time. This cycle went on and on, since I was compartmentalizing my weight loss efforts and not making healthy eating and lifestyle choices a central part of my life. At 54 years old, I finally made a decision that I would make a lifestyle change, not "go on a diet" since that was like holding my breath. Once I changed my mindset, it clicked. It was not a binary choice ("success or failure", "all or nothing") any longer. It allowed me to continue to make progress without worrying about what happened yesterday. This ultimately led to making more good choices and I started to see some rewards from my new lifestyle. Success bred more success, and I found support in others who had similar interests and goals. Now, six years later, it is just a habit. It is now "who I am" and my habits now make healthy eating choices my default behavior. So when I want to eat a big meal, or indulge my sweet tooth, or drink two glasses of wine, its ok. I know that I'm never going back to where I was before.

Also, I've read a bit on the subject and one book I found helpful was Charles Duhigg's "The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in Life and Business". It really shed some light on how shifting expected outcomes and rewards is an effective method of changing behavior.

* edited to add that I just re-read the thread and noticed @jgnatca's post referring to Duhigg. I clearly need more coffee this morning.

marysabetournay

daisyfields79 , here is another trick to replace pasta...cook some cauliflower and add to your small portion of pasta allowed and serve with your favorite spaghetti sauce (reasonably of course) ..delicious!