self discipline

Trish1c

I have always had things relatively easy & as a result never had much self discipline in anything.

I did MFP last year hoping to drop about 23-25 pounds for my big birthday. I only managed 19 & then felt demoralized.

I need to revamp many parts of my life. This will be the easiest to track.

In general though how do you develop self discipline about everything: losing weight, cleaning the house, saving for retirement, etc.

Bubbaistrying

You have to want what you are working for.

Trish1c

I need more than desire I need action steps

TavistockToad

You don't clean your house?

BNY721

You can have all the "action steps" in the world. Until you adopt a mindset of "doing what needs to be done."..Then they are not going to be much help to you. You can have everything mapped out in your life...and if you lack the drive to put your head down and do it...it becomes moot.

Nobody has the magic formula on now to make you have self-discipline. It's called experiences in life that shape you to become the person that gets *kitten* done.

88olds

Your post points out the downside of time based goals. If your goal had been to lose 25 lbs, your B-day could have come and went and you'd still be working your program.

I think the foundation of self discipline is belief that your plan will work. I learned discipline from training with weights. Just a few weeks of training and I could see myself getting stronger, reps and the amount of weight I was lifting were going up. It was undeniable. I started feeling muscles in my arms.

In an aha! moment, I thought, of course, it's the laws of physics. Keep showing up, doing the sets and reps and it will happen. In fact, it can't not happen.

Likewise, weight loss is a set of things to do. Calculate a modest calorie deficit, keep a food diary, weigh and measure your intake, keep within you numbers, and give it time to work, and WL will happen. It's the laws of physics. Few people want to allow for the time.

Notice that you have 3 things on your list. Clean the house- short term. Lose weight- medium. Save for retirement- long term. Do you make your bed in the morning? If not do a google search to find the value in that one small habit.

A common mistake is approaching WL as a bunch of don'ts. It's not. It's a process made up of lots of little things. Do those things and the result will happen.

KeepRunningFatboy

Good question. I'm on a never-ending search for the same.

I've read a few books which have seemed to help me understand self-discipline, self-control, will-power, determination, etc. One is the Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters which helps to understand simplistically how the mind works. I also recommend 2 books called Willpower Rediscover the Greatest Human Strength by Roy F. Baumeister and The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal Ph.D.

I also recommend looking at habits, creating small achievable goals which you can build upon and also your self-talk. Shad Helmstetter has a book called What To Say When You Talk To Your Self which I found helpful.

feisty_bucket

Great suggestions, KeepRunningFatboy! I've read those two willpower books and the _What to Say..._ and they're all excellent.

I wish people would talk about discipline here more than "motivation" so much.

OP, this is really the zillion-dollar question.

My own tiny contribution would be that it helps to do the biggest PITA stuff first, because willpower usually weakens as the day goes on. Also, you can pre-commit to do/not do things. Hard rules with no wiggling that you set when it's easy to do, means you've already answered the question "should I?" when it's difficult.

Sam Carpenter has a couple of books out about Systems Thinking that were helpful to me. At least one of them is free on his website too. There's a good one called _Habit Stacking_ by Scott which is about designing daily routines.
Developing a bunch of positive habits so you don't have to think about them any more is really the easiest way to get stuff done.

As for cleaning the house: there's a website and book called "Unf*ck Your Habitat" which is serious magic. Check it out.

Also, some bonus keywords to look up: Pomodoro Technique, Kanban boards.

Good luck!

Sunnybrooke99

For me, it’s mostly with logic. I convince myself that it is what will make me a happier, less stressed, person for the long run, rather short the tempting short term bandaids. If I have to, I educate myself, track my progress, etc. Just depends on the thing.

lili200

you might like to review this
stages of change
http://www.cpe.vt.edu/gttc/presentations/8eStagesofChange.pdf

KeepRunningFatboy

@feisty_bucket thank you also for extra reading suggestions!

scarlett_k

Practise and persistence.

EllieElla2015

To be honest, I personally didn’t develop discipline until I failed more times than I could tolerate. I’ve been gaining and losing the same 10 pounds for 4 years and got sick of the process. When I weighed myself and I found myself back up those SAME pounds for the 6th time, I legitimately just got fed up. So I’m way more disciplined this time around and not in a “short term excitement” way but in a “I know what to do and I’ve done it, I’m done not living life as the best version of myself”. I, like you, never had discipline in my life and generally didn’t have to try much for anything, so no words of wisdom was going to convince me of the importance of discipline. I thought I was the exception...until I wasn’t for the 6th time in just 4 years.

As for retirement, that’s something you don’t really have the luxury to fail at before it’s too late...so maybe try the “Personal Finance” sub on Reddit?

SweatsOnSunday

All good suggestions. I need to re-commit, too. Going to spend today working on menus, etc, and then push forward and get started.

sksk1026

I use an app called Habit Hub to track new behaviours until they become habits. And I don't try and improve everything at once!