How to deal with stress?
Remilover23237
Posts: 39 Member
in Chit-Chat
So my question is how to deal with stress or how to avoid conversations that bring on stress? I'm sorta a shy person don't like to speak my mind but it is not helping me lose weight I know not a good excuse but is what it is so any tips would greatly appreciated.
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What (in your opinion) is causing you stress? The first step in dealing with it is understand why you are becoming stressed out.0
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Lotion. jk.
Have you already tried facing the stress head-on? I've found that after a time you just become more resilient.3 -
Just had a baby and at the hospital was a lot of drama I had a spinal headache that lasted a week so when the fighting was going on between my other half and my parents I was in the middle even though I wasn't really there to hear it all. Anyways my parents blame me for staying with my other half and my other half never wants to see my family again so stressed out for being in the middle and being blamed?0
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WorkerDrone83 wrote: »Lotion. jk.
Have you already tried facing the stress head-on? I've found that after a time you just become more resilient.
I tried to have them say sorry to each other didn't work , they both play the victim and ask me to take a side.1 -
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Remilover23237 wrote: »Just had a baby and at the hospital was a lot of drama I had a spinal headache that lasted a week so when the fighting was going on between my other half and my parents I was in the middle even though I wasn't really there to hear it all. Anyways my parents blame me for staying with my other half and my other half never wants to see my family again so stressed out for being in the middle and being blamed?
Yikes. I'm sorry I don't have any good tips.
I relieve my stress with wine (or alcohol).3 -
Just_J_Now wrote: »Remilover23237 wrote: »Just had a baby and at the hospital was a lot of drama I had a spinal headache that lasted a week so when the fighting was going on between my other half and my parents I was in the middle even though I wasn't really there to hear it all. Anyways my parents blame me for staying with my other half and my other half never wants to see my family again so stressed out for being in the middle and being blamed?
Yikes. I'm sorry I don't have any good tips.
I relieve my stress with wine (or alcohol).
HAHAHA love it, yea so not fun1 -
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Gotta figure out the triggers and tackle them, least you wanna be a loner and live in fear.0
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Remilover23237 wrote: »Just_J_Now wrote: »Remilover23237 wrote: »Just had a baby and at the hospital was a lot of drama I had a spinal headache that lasted a week so when the fighting was going on between my other half and my parents I was in the middle even though I wasn't really there to hear it all. Anyways my parents blame me for staying with my other half and my other half never wants to see my family again so stressed out for being in the middle and being blamed?
Yikes. I'm sorry I don't have any good tips.
I relieve my stress with wine (or alcohol).
HAHAHA love it, yea so not fun
Having a baby in itself is very stressful I can't imagine having to deal with additional family drama. Focus on yourself and your precious baby. Best of luck.
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Soul_Radiation wrote: »Remilover23237 wrote: »Just had a baby and at the hospital was a lot of drama I had a spinal headache that lasted a week so when the fighting was going on between my other half and my parents I was in the middle even though I wasn't really there to hear it all. Anyways my parents blame me for staying with my other half and my other half never wants to see my family again so stressed out for being in the middle and being blamed?
Congrats on your new little itser pie!!! You're going to have you're hands so full...but your life just got filled with so much joy...just nurture it with your energy once you can.
Fences can be mended. It might not be a pretty process...but, it's really a good idea to do it early if possible.
Have largess...tell your better half to have largess and tell him maybe he needs to take a punch and not react.
"Fixing a relationship" isn't the same as being a doormat. You can do what works in your best interests and set aside pride.
Good luck!
Congrats!
Thank you,
Yea I did he told my parents sorry and then my parents pointed the finger at me saying I need to move on ....long story but after that they texted me telling me that I need/ Can find someone better for me and what not so kinda stresses me out you know.0 -
Remilover23237 wrote: »WorkerDrone83 wrote: »Lotion. jk.
Have you already tried facing the stress head-on? I've found that after a time you just become more resilient.
I tried to have them say sorry to each other didn't work , they both play the victim and ask me to take a side.
Congrats on the new baby! It's unfortunate that you're dealing with family issues right now. They all should know better than you cause you extra stress when you've just given birth. Sorry to hear that.
I'd get everyone together and have a frank discussion about how their behavior will affect your child and their relationships with him/her from now on. Whatever their underlying issues are, they need to be resolved or set aside for the sake of your child. Good luck! And, learn to stand up for yourself now. This will set the example for your child to do the same.4 -
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I think you have to tell your family to drop the subject of your relationship now and refuse to get into it. Say I'm not going to discuss this with you and change the subject. If they bring it up again start hanging up, leaving, not going to their home, not inviting them to your home, blocking numbers. Move farther away.
You are an adult. If people are being disrespectful you don't have to sit there and listen. If people constantly stress you out you can cut them out of your life.1 -
I live two hours away from both of them and well we never talk on the phone and they treat us both like strangers I won't stop talking to them for I want my daughter to have my dad in her life I know it would be easier to cut the ties but I don't believe in taking grandparents away from my childs life1
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Your situation sounds incredibly stressful. None of us can tell you what to do.
In the meantime, you just had a baby! You and the kid, right now, take priority. If it were me, I would respond to everyone by simply saying, "I understand this situation is hard for all of us. I'd like to help sort all of this out, but right now, I have a kid to get to know and a body that needs to recover. I need your support now more than anything. If you can't help or support me right now, then let's deal with this later, after I'm less stressed." Then stick with it. This goes for anyone and everyone.
When I was 19 I drove 6 hours to visit my parents. They spent the next day obsessing over my relationship in a negative way. Finally, after much protesting, I said, "I can't take this any longer. I'd like to spend time with you, but if you say one more thing about my boyfriend, I'm going home." They agreed. And ten minutes later, they started up again. I got up and drove 6 hours home. Just like that. We talked on the phone, but I wouldn't see them again until they agreed to at least listen to me and accept my decisions. I eventually broke up with the guy, but the boundaries I set with my parents have helped me to this day.4 -
I drink. A lot.0
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listen to music and sing along1
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Angry Sex!
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I deal with stress by not dealing with it.
Pretty sure I have a stomach ulcer.0 -
My answers probably don't fit into your lifestyle with a baby and SO, but my 2¢...
To deal with stress:
I retreat, I need to be alone as much as possible. I drink (wine usually) and eat my favourite foods, or restrict foods to try to "control" at least something in my life.
Running always shifts my mood (positively) but it is a fleeting feeling.
Try to keep busy and distract yourself (I know it's not easy).
Just ride it out and cope with whatever helps...know it will end at some point...everything does
To avoid stressful conversations:
No good answer except ignore/avoid people who you may have a stressful conversation with.
Or if the stressful conversation is unavoidable, just get it over with and then its done...one less stress for you0 -
Since I upped my exercise levels, my stress levels have gone way down. I also write fanfic and take great pleasure in assigning traits of people who irk me to throwaway characters I subsequently kill off in interesting and varied ways. (Well, I don't actually kill off that many characters. But there have been a few over the years...)1
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Attack whatever is causing you stress. Take steps to accomplish your goal.
So if you have a work project causing stress don't delay it, get it done.0 -
My answers probably don't fit into your lifestyle with a baby and SO, but my 2¢...
To deal with stress:
I retreat, I need to be alone as much as possible. I drink (wine usually) and eat my favourite foods, or restrict foods to try to "control" at least something in my life.
Running always shifts my mood (positively) but it is a fleeting feeling.
Try to keep busy and distract yourself (I know it's not easy).
Just ride it out and cope with whatever helps...know it will end at some point...everything does
To avoid stressful conversations:
No good answer except ignore/avoid people who you may have a stressful conversation with.
Or if the stressful conversation is unavoidable, just get it over with and then its done...one less stress for you
Just be aware that that is possibly throwing the stress right back at the person in question, depending on the reason - I've had that done to me in the past and it has totally wrecked my relationship with that person, as well as seriously affecting my work due to stress it caused me (in addition to the thing that was stressful and needing talking about). Any relationship worth it is going to have some points that are stressful, and it's often better to communicate and work out how to deal with it. It isn't pleasant at the time, but in the long run it avoids the slow accumulation of stress and unhappiness.
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I deal with stress .. pretty well. I just got hazed til it didn't matter anymore.0
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It really depends on what kind of stress I'm actually feeling, or what level of stress, but:
Sometimes I mindlessly eat (I hate that!!!)
My cats. They do funny stuff that cracks me up. They sit on your lap and love on you and you get to love on them. They don't look at you like you're a nut case, a failure, etc. And not just my cats, but I'm that weirdo lady who's all "Here kitty kitty kitty!!!" Whenever I see other cats.
Work out, especially boxing. (I picture the bag as every dips.it that's ticking me off.)
Long walks (I enjoy the silence and also getting lost in nature.)
Craft projects. (It makes me feel happy and accomplished to create something.)
Sometimes I just shut down and retreat. Don't really want to talk and when people try to cheer me up it often just irritates me more. Sometimes I just need to pull myself out of that funk on my own.
And sometimes if I get really stressed out I just let the rant fly. Then I feel better to get it off my chest. Like you purged yourself of the toxic crud.
Not sure any of this can help you or not. I hope things improve for you though!0 -
spontaneous sex0
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