Serial self sabotage

kaitrage119

Hey all!

I was hoping to get some advice from my fellow MFP users.

This last year I've been doing a yo-yo act on my own plans and it's really frustrating me! As soon as I start doing really well I lose my motivation and succumb to my cravings and become lazy and I almost always end up back at square one.

I have to really try to eat healthy after years of horrible habits and I find healthy food to not taste good no matter how much I try to be creative and make things interesting. I also struggle with exercise after years of not doing so. I also suffer with asthma and hay fever which has a massive impact on my motivation.

Now I know I have to hold myself accountable and pick myself back up but I was hoping to get some tips from people who have done the yo-yo and overcome it? What do my fellow MFP friends do when their motivation wains? What helps you get back on board?

Any advice would be much appreciated as I am getting very frustrated with myself and I am starting to feel like I'll never stick to my goals

Luna3386

Pick one thing to change at a time and do that until it's second nature. Make sure the change isn't too dramatic. Baby steps.

88olds

Start going for a walk every day. Also start a food diary. Record everything you eat and drink. Pay no mind to the calories.

After you are in the habit of keeping track of your intake, start filling in the calories. Don't change what you eat.

When you're ready, calculate a modest calorie deficit. Go back to your food diary and figure out what modifications you can make to stay within your number. Give the process time to work.

sksk1026

Is your goal to lose weight? If so, you don't have to eat 'healthy' or exercise. You just have to eat in deficit ie eat fewer calories than you expend. I'm mentioning this because it sounds like you put yourself on a joyless regimen and then beat yourself up for not sticking to it. There's room in any calorie controlled diet for ice-cream and fast food! And then after a while, you can add more vegetables but only if they're vegetables you like! And maybe add a walk if the sun is shining?

JRSINAZ

For me coming to grips with my food and alcohol addictions. I would lose weight and go back to old habits because it was so easy. It doesn't help being bombarded with easy bad choices at every turn. Living for or going along with other people's choices.

S0MuchPain

Hey,

Well what I can say is that I've been there as well. In a certain point in your life you'll want to be healthy, fit and disciplined. Then life happens -__-. It's all good though don't give up and focus on your goal. I went from 220pnds to 170pnds back then.

I find that the MFP diary helps me a lot with my calorie deficit diet. I don't just drink water and eat nuts. You eat what you want when you want but be honest to yourself and keep tabs.

I am currently aiming on losing weight once again ( see it happened to me again -__- ) and it's looking good. For training I usually skip rope for about 20 minutes (2 mins skip then 15-30 seconds rest ). Then I hit the bags and workout in the gym.

Any type of physical activity will greatly help you. Make sure it counts even though it's 5 x 50 meter sprints. Just make sure you give your everything and I promise you'll do good. This by the way takes 5 minutes of your day but it's soooooo good : )

This is based on what I did and went through and I can honestly say it worked. Grab a friend that pushes you as well when you train, motivates you when you need it most.

I can keep going but I have to hit the sacks lol. Try it out and let me know.

Enjoy your training and a healthier lifestyle!

girlwithcurls2

Luna3386 wrote: »

Pick one thing to change at a time and do that until it's second nature. Make sure the change isn't too dramatic. Baby steps.

This. You have to find what works for you,but I found that turning it into a game was a better challenge. I tried to "fix" one bad habit at a time. As I felt more in control of one, I would add in another. The other great advice someone gave me was to "plan for when you need Plan B." Read literally: plan for failure. Know that each and every moment of every day won't be 100% successful, so plan for what you're going to do when plan A breaks down. This has been so helpful to me because I can "arrest the slide" as I begin giving in and giving up. I suddenly realize that no way am I giving in or giving up. I worked too hard to throw it in over a bad decision (or an entire day or weekend of them). New resolve. You can do this.

rachaelmarsh1471

Hi,

I am in exactly the same boat as you! I was at my heaviest 15 stone (210lbs) and at my lightest i was 11st3lb (157) due to self sabatage and nothing but excuses i am back to 13st5 (186lbs) i am so mad at myself! My partner does nothing but support me. He eats healthy and tries to motivate me to exercise. I always find excuses "its too cold" "its too dark" (i cant afford a gym membership so have to go running) he even bought me weights to do at home.

I started eating in secret and telling myself "no one will notice". But obviously the difference in how i look from when i was 11st3 to 13st5 is massive.

I also have PCOS and use this as an excuse (even though i previously lost a lot of weight so its clearly not an issue).

I have now realised that i need to get rid of this excess weight for health reasons (and to feel more confident about myself).

No more excuses. No more secret eating!

I am sorry - this turned in to a complete therapy session but what i am trying to say is that you are not alone in this and so many other people struggle with it.

If it was easy there would be no over weight people and everyone would look like victoria secret models!

I am looking for motivation and support so anyone who wants to add me, please feel free!

Good luck to everyone and i hope you meet your goals!

Rachael

Jackie9003

Would definitely recommend small incremental changes, I started by drinking more water, then swapped a chocolate biscuit in the morning for something with less calories like rice cakes, next step is to stop eating after 8pm.
I tried going cold turkey and it was hell on earth!
Logging what you eat on here is great too, good luck.

officeelf

I agree with everyone else. Start slow, change one thing, this is for life.

Set an attendance goal. Mine was to to get on the elliptical and walk every day. The first day I did the elliptical for five minutes and walked one block. After while, your body says, "I want more." Fifteen years later, I'm 70 pounds lighter, work out everyday, eat healthy most of the time (and don't sweat it when I don't). Even when I'm off the rails with food, I always show up for the work out - it has become an automatic thing.

officeelf

Oh, and don't quit.

kommodevaran

Can you describe your healthy food? Or maybe you could just ditch the whole idea, and just start to eat normal food. Normal food doesn't have the same pull as junk food, but it tastes really good when prepared correctly, when you eat something you like (doh, but yeah, we don't like all the same things), and when your tastebuds aren't paralyzed from junk food.

CLKrenzke

I have been the same way for years! I find that setting small goals every week or two helps. Ones I know I can reach, it isn't always weight loss goals either. This month I made a 30 day challenge so my goal is to do my daily workout challenge. I've missed a day or two so far but I make up for it the following day. You could do all kinds of goals to help you stay on track

LilmissNm

Decide what your end goal is and then set smaller goals to get you there. Celebrate the little wins. I do not believe in cheat meals/days as I feel they set you up to fail. Use your friends on here as accountabily buddies. And don't beat yourself up if you slip just dust yourself off and pick it back up. Also you need to change your mindset instead of telling yourself I can't do this think I've got this, I can do this. Keep positive.

Orphia

sksk1026 wrote: »

Is your goal to lose weight? If so, you don't have to eat 'healthy' or exercise. You just have to eat in deficit ie eat fewer calories than you expend. I'm mentioning this because it sounds like you put yourself on a joyless regimen and then beat yourself up for not sticking to it. There's room in any calorie controlled diet for ice-cream and fast food! And then after a while, you can add more vegetables but only if they're vegetables you like! And maybe add a walk if the sun is shining?

@sksk1026 said what the successful people on MFP recommend.

The food pyramid allows for 10-20% of treats. Relax a little.

I can't think of anything worse than taking baby steps towards a lifetime of boiled chicken and broccoli.

MichelleLaree13

I yoyo'ed for years... all my adult years, lol, until this last year. I dont know what clicked for me last year but I decided I had enough. I started exercising at home because I didnt want anyone to see me. Then I started going to the gym again. I slowly started eating better, just every day better choices. I had a couple gym partners that didnt stick with it. I started making little goals for myself. I leave the goal date flexible. My last goal was to be able to do a tricep dip without the assistance platform. I actually defeated that relatively quickly, maybe a couple months. I started dating a fellow gym goer and now I have a gym partner. I never realized how nice it is to date someone that can say I am pretty awesome but if I want to reach a goal I should still shoot for it. I am honest with myself which is huge. I do tape measurements and weight because it keeps me more honest with myself. If I am gaining weight and inches, I cant blame it on weight lifting. If I gain weight but lose inches, I know it is just the weight lifting and shrug it off. Now I just do my best at the gym and try to come up with new little goals. I try to stay away from very high fat, high sugar, refined foods but I dont always. I dont plan cheat meals... they find me by way of birthday parties and special occasions all by themselves. I have been constant with my progress since last November. It is a journey....

curiousgp

Habits. Carve out some good habits for yourself and then stick with them.

Coffee - one cup a day at 7am. GOOD coffee - never skimp.
Breakfast - week days eaten at 7:30. Weekends are usually breakfast in bed with the hubs :=)

Walk with the dogs most evenings when I get home from work and longer hikes on Saturday and Sunday.

Take advantage of opportunities for movement - haul that 50lb bag of dog food out to the car instead of using a cart. Park at the end of the parking lot and hoof it to the door. Shovel instead of snow blow. Walk the mile to the mail box instead of driving down.

Little things - they add up.

toesinarow

Do you enjoy cooking? I find that buying cool cookbooks and trying new recipes motivates me food-wise. But not everyone enjoys that.

I have exercise-induced asthma that really acts up in the winter, and I find swimming helps with that. The warm, moist air in the pool is good for asthma. Unless you're sensitive to chlorine of course.