Vent/Looking for Tips -- Food Addiction

Teallaquin

Hey everyone! I've been on MyFitnessPal for a couple of years and only in the past year have I really gotten serious about weight loss. I'm making this post to both vent and ask for help, though.

Context: I'm 20 years old, 5' 6", and a college student. All of my adolescence, I was slender and I didn't have to worry about anything I ate because I never gained an excessive amount of weight. This all changed when I got to college and began stress/boredom-eating to the extreme -- instead of gaining the Freshman 15, I got the Freshman 40! I went from ~130lbs up to 170lbs. While I'm glad to say that 170lbs was my peak and I have gone down since, I have yet to actually return to a healthy weight (although I did briefly get below 154lbs this summer). I carry my weight mostly in my legs and I went up 4 pant sizes, ahah. That was the worst part.

I got serious this past summer, when I had a paycheck from my summer job and was responsible for cooking myself food (point of reference: I have lived on campus as a resident and now as a Resident Assistant my whole college career. I am now a junior.). I didn't know exactly how much I lost, since I was nervous about stepping onto the scale. I was convinced that it'd either make me sad or angry. When I weighed myself in March 2017, I was 163lbs and on September 7th, the doctor weighed me in at 150lbs. I was pretty happy to learn I had lost 20lbs since June 2016, the bulk of which happened over the course of 3 months!

Now, though... Since then, I got too comfortable. October was a disaster and I don't even want to know how much I gained back. I've returned to my food/sugar addiction and I'm really struggling with self-control. I've been going to the gym all semester and I've gained muscle (and I'm not growing out of my pants again, which is nice), but my gut pokes out and jiggles more than it did at the beginning of the semester. I feel it in my face, oddly enough, and that bugs me.

Over the past couple of years, I've done research on healthy weight loss and nutrition, and I have a logical understanding on many things weight loss/nutrition related, and yet... I just struggle so much self-discipline.

I don't know what I'm trying to get out of this. I guess I just want to vent, find solidarity in people who are in the same boat, and maybe exchange tips on helping ourselves? I'm always wildly oscillating between "I look fine, I haven't gained it all back!" and "I'm literally going backwards why am I doing this to myself I look terrible I'm failing."

Thoughts?

(Stats:
20yro, 5'6"
HW: 170lbs (June 2016)
CW: ~160lbs (150lbs Sept.2017)
GW: 145lbs)

kommodevaran

Consider whether calling your taste for sweets a sugar/food addiction, is helping you, or making things more difficult for you. You can't really leave food intake totally up to self-control, you need good eating habits. Which eating habits can you think of that would be useful for you? What can you do instead of eating when you're bored or stressed?

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Teallaquin

kommodevaran wrote: »

Consider whether calling your taste for sweets a sugar/food addiction, is helping you, or making things more difficult for you. You can't really leave food intake totally up to self-control, you need good eating habits. Which eating habits can you think of that would be useful for you? What can you do instead of eating when you're bored or stressed?

I didn't really consider "addiction" to be an applicable term until recently when I sat down and thought about how much sugar I was taking in and wondering if that had much to do with it. I recognize that my habits simply need to change and I need to exercise some self-restraint, for sure, and figure out a different activity to do when bored/stressed.

YepItsKriss wrote: »

You can resort to therapy simply because that's a face to face person who can take your struggles and work with you on a more personal level but hoping that strangers on a forum can control what you do once you shut down mfp and be able to offer you more then the same suggestions over and over and go "you can do it!!" May not be a practical solution.

I have been to counseling for other issues, but I'm not sure if I will return for this issue. Of course I'm not expecting strangers on a forum to control what to do and tell me "you can do it!" over and over, that'd be impractical.

It's probably worth mentioning that I wrote this when I was feeling particularly frustrated before one of my classes.
As I mentioned in my original post, I guess I'm looking more to vent and seek solidarity (or, at the least, help someone else in the same boat as me to feel a little less alone).

I've no doubt that I'll be able to get it together and sort myself out eventually. I just felt I was at a stale mate when I wrote this. I hope that helps clarify my standpoint.

gmc685

Hey girl,

I’m right there with you. I gained a ton of weight in college (graduated last may). First and foremost, congratulations on being vulnerable. You already won half the battle because you’re showing up and wanting to change. Secondly, being in school is HARD. Maintaining grades, working toward your future career, and doing homework is a lot to balance. Major props to you for wanting to add health and self-care into that.
Your stats are not extreme (meaning you are probably attractive and look healthy!). While i am confident you will reach your goal weight, do not beat yourself up for having periods where you’re less than stellar. You DO have self discipline-you’ve been going to the gym AND you lost thirty pounds!! Everything you need to do this is right there. You’ve got it!
Speaking from personal experience, sugar is totally addicting, and i still struggle with my sweet tooth. I think it helps to slowly ween yourself off sweets, and not try to go “cold turkey”. I personally have come to love apples and trail mix when I need a sugar hit. (It sounds lame next to Oreos but i swear that you can change your tastebuds!)

Girl, you can do this. You’re a college student, and that’s a full time job. Take this one step at a time, breathe, and realize you are not your numbers. (Whether they be a pant size, and number on the scale, a label, or even a grade!)

Keep kicking *kitten*.
Xx

Teallaquin

gmc685 wrote: »

Hey girl,

I’m right there with you. I gained a ton of weight in college (graduated last may). First and foremost, congratulations on being vulnerable. You already won half the battle because you’re showing up and wanting to change. Secondly, being in school is HARD. Maintaining grades, working toward your future career, and doing homework is a lot to balance. Major props to you for wanting to add health and self-care into that.
Your stats are not extreme (meaning you are probably attractive and look healthy!). While i am confident you will reach your goal weight, do not beat yourself up for having periods where you’re less than stellar. You DO have self discipline-you’ve been going to the gym AND you lost thirty pounds!! Everything you need to do this is right there. You’ve got it!
Speaking from personal experience, sugar is totally addicting, and i still struggle with my sweet tooth. I think it helps to slowly ween yourself off sweets, and not try to go “cold turkey”. I personally have come to love apples and trail mix when I need a sugar hit. (It sounds lame next to Oreos but i swear that you can change your tastebuds!)

Girl, you can do this. You’re a college student, and that’s a full time job. Take this one step at a time, breathe, and realize you are not your numbers. (Whether they be a pant size, and number on the scale, a label, or even a grade!)

Keep kicking *kitten*.
Xx

Hey there- first off, thank you so much for your response! Second, congratulations on graduating!
I do share the sentiment that my states aren't extreme and I could be off a lot worse. I think the bulk of my problem was the result of gaining so much in such a short time frame and after never having that issue before.
As for sugar, hoo boy... I think I'll always struggle with my sweet tooth, but weaning myself off os probably going to be my best best. I've tried cold turkey, and it always results in me eventually binging on it later on. I do love apples though, we have that in common!

Thank you again. I appreciate your thoughtful response.

Lean59man

Don't look at it as a personal failure or addiction. Take the emotional baggage out of the equation.

It's arithmetic.

The problem is very simple: You are taking in more calories than you are burning off as fuel.

Three possible solutions.

1) Increase your daily caloric burn to result in a caloric deficit by exercising.

2) Decrease your daily calories to result in a caloric deficit.

3) A combination of the above two.

The first step is to determine your present daily burn of calories . The next step is to adjust your intake/outgo to reach your desired weight. Then you maintain.

Just do it.

Lpaige89

I can sort of relate. Im in university right now and Im 100% a stress eater which sucks. Last year at this time i was in the best shape of my life, and after being in an unhealthy relationship and going through a nasty breakup this summer I binged and I gained so much weight. It was so embarrassing going back this semester, because I felt so uncomfortable. Anyways, Im into weight lifting, and after struggling to get traction with my diet on my own, i started working with a coach . This helped for weekly check ins (pictures) and staying accountable, plus with a meal plan to follow.. it made it pretty black and white for me.
My coach is straight up, and tells it like it is. So i cant bs her. Im in school and have a full day, but i prep and pack all my meals the night before, which helps. I also get cheat meals 1 every week or 2 weeks depending.

Honestly, it came down to how badly i wanted it and what im willing to do for it.

dont be hard on yourself though, and once i started getting some days back to back, it really made it easier.

good luck!