Terrified

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Supern0va81
Supern0va81 Posts: 168 Member
in Getting Started
Hi,

Terrified is the thought that comes to mind as I've just looked at the photos from my sons 1st birthday 2 weeks ago and reflected on what my self image portrays.

I am also 3 years in recovery from mental illness and I'm now also 4 months job hunting trying to find re-employment. I'd been with the same people for about 12 years.

The pictures have also made me realise how much I have neglected myself mentally as well as physically - there's comfort in them but little confidence.

I am posting as a public comment as I feel that it commits me further to my health to care for myself and to hold myself as accountable and not alone in what it provides through not making selfish self soothing decisions. I usually see my husband, nursery staff, and family in the week but few others unless I go shopping for groceries and tend to get excessively anxious generally.

I will work to find a new job urgently and work to improve my positivity always. I'm nearly crying writing this as I know this feeling to well from how far I've been and still have to go but don't want my son growing up knowing the fear in me as I am. I have already learnt so much from him. None of this ever seemed possible in 2014 and it is only testament to an amazingly supportive care network, family and a husband who believe in me.

Helen

Replies

  • SusanDSME
    SusanDSME Posts: 194 Member
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    I am dealing with anxiety (well controlled with cognitive behavioral therapy), sometimes depression (not that bad right now, thankfully) and PTSD. The meds I'm on for PTSD make me gain weight. I put on 33 pounds since my diagnosis 5 years ago. Now I have an uphill battle- we can't reduce my meds much, so I have to work harder than before to lose weight through diet and exercise. I, too, want my kids to know me as a well and capable person (they've seen me go to the hospital too many times in the last 5 years).

    Best of luck to you. Take good care of yourself, and take small steps. Just get off the couch and move around to start. Could you try a low-intensity aerobics class to get you started and give you something to show up for? I go to a Zumba class that's very mellow, but it makes me get out and do something.

  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
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    Orphia wrote: »
    Good luck, Helen!

    Be kind to yourself. Don't starve yourself, otherwise you'll crash and burn and not last the distance. Take it slow and steady.

    Don't put things off for your poor "future self" to deal with.

    Be kind to yourself today, and to the you of tomorrow.

    Best wishes.

    This.

    And feel free to add me as a friend.
  • Lean59man
    Lean59man Posts: 714 Member
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    Confucius say "Long journey begin with first step."
  • efoleo
    efoleo Posts: 143 Member
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    You are most definetely not alone. I cldv written that.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    Helen, how are you now?

    Are you feeling a bit unmotivated after letting it all out a few days ago? Feeling like it's all a bit much?

    Don't wait around for motivation. Just do it.

    Learn about using MFP to lose weight sustainably in the General forum's "helpful posts" announcement:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads

    You don't need motivation, you need habits.

    Logging takes about 2 minutes less time scrolling on Facebook per day.

    Habits start with logging one food eaten, then the next.

    You might as well keep trying because the time will pass anyway.

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