What to do when you don't care?

daneejela
daneejela Posts: 461 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
What to do when you don't care about your weight? But at the same time you know that you will care once in the future and one of your future selves would need to take care of your mess? Last few years I am alternating between those periods of caring about my body and not caring at all. Its almost like some kind of a depression, although I don't feel depressed or sad. I just feel at the moment like my weight doesn't make any difference in my life, like " what's the point? " Any advice how to get out of it while I haven't yet un done all hard work? :(

Replies

  • displaced1
    displaced1 Posts: 73 Member
    edited November 2017
    Firstly, I try to maintain my weight loss by making semi-decent choices. I keep foods out of the house that are triggers, I try to limit take out food, and when I have it, I have 1/3-1/2 portions from restaurants and better options from fast food.

    I try to still walk a mile or two daily. Occasionally I'll track and I still weigh myself. Seeing the scale drift upwards is a big motivation to begin again or think of a healthier dish for the day, at least.

    Think of a couple easy things you can do that you can continue: drinking water, passive energy use (maybe standing at work), a new healthy recipe once a week.

    I falter when my motivation goes. I tend to be motivated with tracking/exercising/eating well for a couple months at a time. But if you can maintain while getting your desire back, that's success! And the key to long term success is you need to learn how to not gain weight.

    Another viewpoint may be to treat this like anything difficult you may have accomplished in life. There can be times when an untimate goal is desirable but the steps to get there are slogged through without any real willpower or desire except for the endpoint.
  • misnomer1
    misnomer1 Posts: 646 Member
    How old are you?
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    misnomer1 wrote: »
    How old are you?

    I am 32.
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Why doesn't your health matter to you?
    Good question.
    It is one of the strongest motivators I have from time to time, but in periods like this I feel like I fall into some kind of motivation black hole. And weird thing is that I actually enjoyed those times when I did take care and when I was eating well.
  • misnomer1
    misnomer1 Posts: 646 Member
    Only you can motivate yourself. No one else can. Maybe speak to a therapist?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I gain 10 lbs back, lol.
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Why doesn't your health matter to you?

    To be fair, 10 lbs is unlikely to make a big difference health-wise.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited November 2017
    eta.. changing my position and updating post.. others are stating depression rather it mild in nature.. I cannot speak or say if this is the case therefore changing my stance on this.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    What is your current state? Are you still a healthy weight but creeping up, a little overweight or very overweight/obese? Are you looking at doing the work of maintaining your current weight/fitness level, losing 10 lbs/getting in better shape or losing 50+ lbs and changing quite a bit?

    Are you doing the things you want to do in life? Are you avoiding anything because of your weight (photos, clothes shopping, dating, seeing family or friends)? Are there health problems you really wish to avoid? Do you feel energetic, sleep well, not in pain most of the time currently?
    If a friend or family member was in your current condition would you be concerned about them? What advice would you give them?

    I don't know that you need to start with big motivation. Set a few small specific goals to begin with.
    The holidays are coming. Maybe a small goal for the season could be something like: cut down portions of sweets to a particular amount each day, get 8 hours of sleep a night, eat out less often, walk 30 minutes a day or drink less alcohol. See how you feel in a month or so.


  • sssgilbe
    sssgilbe Posts: 89 Member
    Depression can manifest in many ways. Not feeling depressed or sad may be a sign of not feeling much at all. You may want to schedule a physical with your doctor and discuss a referral to a counselor who specialized in weight issues.
  • nickssweetheart
    nickssweetheart Posts: 874 Member
    edited November 2017
    It could actually be a mild form of depression. Depression doesn't always mean sadness, it can mean hopelessness or apathy too. That doesn't mean that you need medication, but some of the same things that can help depression may help you: sunlight, exercise, adequate sleep (google sleep hygiene), and, yes, healthy eating.

    It can be a vicious cycle when you stop caring, so you eat worse, so you feel worse, etc... if you can't manage logging or make yourself care, try just making better choices? Focus on eating a nutrient dense diet and getting enough sleep and if you can't make yourself do strenuous exercise, try walking instead of driving somewhere (bonus, that will get you some sunshine.)

    And, finally, if you have a ways to go, focus on the benefits you're already receiving. Here's my favorite quote about weightloss:
    "I've lost forty-six pounds over a twelve-month period, and still have a long way to go. But this is not like waiting for a package to be delivered, where you have nothing until it finally arrives. Yes, I'm still overweight--but I'm already stronger and I have much more stamina and flexibility. No, I"m not slender. But I look better, and I fit into clothes I haven't been able to wear for years." --Alexandra, Strong Women Stay Slim

    Edit: My pony is slow...that will teach me to spend 15 minutes looking up a quote. ;)
  • davidylin
    davidylin Posts: 228 Member
    edited November 2017
    daneejela wrote: »
    What to do when you don't care about your weight? But at the same time you know that you will care once in the future and one of your future selves would need to take care of your mess? Last few years I am alternating between those periods of caring about my body and not caring at all. Its almost like some kind of a depression, although I don't feel depressed or sad. I just feel at the moment like my weight doesn't make any difference in my life, like " what's the point? " Any advice how to get out of it while I haven't yet un done all hard work? :(
    I've developed good habits that take over when I don't care. I'm habituated to portioning, for example. I'm habituated to go do my low-impact cardio. The habits I have help to protect me when I don't care.

    I get back on the horse when I can.

    Even then, there are times my habits don't save me. I enlist the help of the people that care about me to shepherd me through those times.

    And then there are times that I don't care and I shrink from the people that would help me. Those are the dark times. When motivation, discipline, social desire, and most function breaks down. All I keep is a small spark of anger, for when the clouds part and the rain stops falling to relight my fire.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    being proactive is better than being reactive.

    no one can make you care. you have to care about yourself enough to take care of your body. you only get one.
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,383 Member
    edited November 2017
    I feel ya. I've teetered around 155lbs most of my adult life. I'm at a healthy weight for my height but once and a while I get a surge of motivation that allows me to dip into the 140s and I always look and feel so much better. But then motivation wanes and I creep back up to 155. Right now I am highly motivated because I'm getting married in the spring and want to look my best. But other times, I get lazy and stop caring.

    Finding healthy activities that you truly enjoy seems to help. I got into doing 3-5k walks every day during the warmer months because there was an audiobook I really got sucked into, and walking was the only time I could really focus on it. Now that it's winter I'm really missing it and treadmills don't cut it. So I'll have to work on finding another activity during the winter that I enjoy.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I think it is depression of a sort.

    Why are you disinterested in doing things that make you happy?

    I’m going to suggest a book, The Time Paradox by Zimbardo.
  • MamaMc3
    MamaMc3 Posts: 213 Member
    I put off focusing on my own health, so I could focus on other things . . . school, kids, work, etc. I ended up morbidly obese, and feeling like crap. While I didn't have any health related issues yet, I was headed that way. The point of my reply is that you should care about your weight/health. If you're not ready to go all in, at least start making a few healthy changes. By the time you have health issues, it can be too late to reverse the damage you have done to your body. Take care of yourself now.
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,740 Member
    It does make a difference if we are talking 10 pounds vs. 100 pounds. Then it's an issue of vanity vs. health.

    Vanity was never a particularly good motivator for me and I never got heavy enough for my health to be obviously impacted, but my ability to do the things I like to do was affected when my weight went up 50 pounds. I enjoy an active lifestyle - hiking and running mostly. I find it is much easier when I weigh less. I can get up the hills more easily, carry weight without effort, avoid painful chaffing, etc. In order to do what I enjoy, I prefer to watch my weight. The actual number doesn't matter, it's how I feel while moving. Losing weight had the side effect of lowering my blood sugar and cholesterol, which has long term benefits, especially since I hate taking meds.

    You need to figure out your own motivation. There are a lot of reasons to care, but some are more important than others.

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