re-inventing how I eat

CarvedTones

I do not want to just make some adjustments to my old way of eating. I decided to blow it up and re-invent it. I have been in diet mode, eating very differently from how I used to. I have lost 34 pounds so far with 24 to go. Continuing to be on a restricted diet is not sustainable. I might get to goal doing it, but then what?

I have been re-evaluating what I really like versus stuff I just ate. I am thinking about giving up certain foods that I ate when available but usually don't buy for myself. A couple of examples are donuts and chips. Most cookies, even Oreos, are not really a favorite but I ate them. I can just stop eating these or at least I hope so.

The stuff I do like is a harder thing to adjust. I love pecan pie. Butter pecan ice cream. See a trend? A handful of pecans is good too. Chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream. Raisins by the handful; better yet Raisinets. White chocolate chunk macadamia nut cookies. these are things I like and I don't think I should totally deny myself treats I like. Allowing treats and keeping it reasonable is not going to be easy.

Does making rules about how you eat work? I am hoping I will start to adopt them as just normal habits.

In the past, I tried to just go back to eating "normally", trying to limit indulgences, and depend on dieting when I got to the top of the range. I would extend the range and put off starting another diet and then the next thing you know I am off to the races gaining again. My old normal won't work.

One thing I decided to do this time is use BMI. I will get below 25 and the rule is if I ever get to or above 25, I have to cut back or start a diet and get back below. No arbitrary range that I can increase. No putting it off; line in the sand.

I would love some feedback from others who have kept weight off multiple years. I keep failing at keeping it off. Will stricter rules work? Lax ones sure haven't.

Psychgrrl

I’ve been in maintenance about three years. For me, the whole thing, weight-loss and maintenance, hasn’t been so much about rules as it’s been about substitutions.

I eat similarly to they way I did before, with some tweaks and changes. A lot of it has been being aware of calories and nutrition. I sauté more veggies in with my egg whites, use unsweetened soy milk in with my protein shakes, eat Icelandic yogurt, found chips with fiber and protein, changed to high-fiber tortillas, keep Halo Top and Enlightened ice cream in the freezer.

I walk at least 10,000 steps outside of exercise every day. I exercise most days.

I still eat burgers and fries and pizza and whatever else I want. I just make sure it fits in with my calorie allowance. I don’t do Paleo (though I love these snickdoodle Paleo balls I found on Amazon), I don’t do low-carb, vegetarian, vegan, or anything else. I do have meals with no meat, I have meals that are low-carb. But those meals are that way because that’s what I want at the time. Because that’s what works for me.

I need flexibility. Hard and fast rules aren’t for me. If you need them, go for it. Some people flourish with structure. Some don’t. Take the advice you get, and figure out what works for you and what doesn’t.

Sabine_Stroehm

You posted a thread yesterday about a doctor prescribed low starch diet. What are your goals? Does the doctor's goal factor in?

CarvedTones

I really don't think a simple adjustment will work for me.

I have an unhealthy relationship with breakroom food. When donuts were out in the breakroom, I would have two cream filled if possible. If there were long johns, I took a whole one (most people cut them in half). I got greedy and took more than I should. If one or two cookies were left out (people who didn't eat them in box lunches would put them out after a meeting sometimes), I would always grab one even if it was a type I didn't care much for. When there was cake, I would cut a really large piece. Fun size candy in a dish? I would grab 3 every time I passed by. Leftover muffins put out after a morning meeting - usually the giant ones - I would take a whole one. This is bizarre behavior and it has to stop, not just be adjusted. I really don't know why I did that. Watching others, I was not the only one. I think if I try to limit it I will not stick to it. I have to not eat breakroom treats at all.

I actually packed pretty healthy lunches. That I can keep doing.

I had seconds almost every night at dinner. That has to stop.

I had a problem with alcohol. I am almost 5 months removed from my last drink. I would drink at night and then go melt cheese on corn chips or a tortilla. Eat a few Oreos watching the cheese melt in the toaster oven. I cannot start drinking again.

Am I a nut case or do lots of overweight people have these kinds of problems?

CarvedTones

zachbonner_ wrote: »

sometimes you have to reprogram your entire way of thinking. sounds like you are on the right track to me

quitting drinking altogether is a good step

The trick is making it stick. I have quit before. I came clean to more people this time. My kids are old enough (17 to 22) that they know about it. My doctor knows. My wife knows, but she knows about the failed attempts. I think overdoing it is a disorder that ecompasses more than drinking. The same demon made me fat.

EDIT - I learn a lot explaining this. I just connected those dots.

Sabine_Stroehm

FWIW, I started OVER with my eating when I was 45-46, about 16 years ago. I know it can be done.

For me it was cutting way way way back (almost eliminating) all fast food. Now, 15+ years later I'll have tacos at taco bell while traveling. Chicken from Dominos if there's an event.
I cut out heavily refined breads.
I cut out most heavily refined foods (TV dinners, convenience foods etc).
I cut out all candy, pastries etc.
I cut out all sodas (I'll have diet if desperate for caffeine, or we're traveling etc.)
I cut out beer except for special occasions.

It worked for me. You have to decide what works for you. Some folks do best when they say "if it fits my calories". Some folks do best when they say "I don't eat that".

I have whole foods, most of the time. And tend to order simply when we eat out.

You'll have to figure out what works for you.

CarvedTones

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

You posted a thread yesterday about a doctor prescribed low starch diet. What are your goals? Does the doctor's goal factor in?

Yesterday I was talking about the author of most of the medical articles on the connection between a blood antigen I have, arthritic flares I get, a gut microbe that thrives only in starch and the relief many people are getting going low or no starch. My doc knows I am doing this but all she said was let her know how it's going at my physical next month. She has had mixed feelings about my diets in the past; I show up at a healthier weight but with too much lost in too little time. I overdo it sometimes; see the pattern? Then a few months later my weight is back up.

rheddmobile

I think not eating food you don't really like is a good first step. I did that also. When you have a limited number of calories and carbs you can eat (I am diabetic) you have to set priorities. After a while I thought I was going to go mad wanting a double chocolate chip cookie. I knew I didn't have the calories to eat them every day and they are problematic for my blood sugar. So I figured out what I thought was the best possible cookie, bought one, broke it in half, which conveniently made it 30g net carbs, and ate it over two days. It satisfied the urge and I haven't had another, but I know I can if I want to.

Finding lower calorie alternatives can help you stay within your allotment, but it's not always possible. I love pecan pie too but haven't found one which is both low in carbs and satisfying. My great-grandmother's recipe is 60g net carbs for a small slice, which is more than I can handle. Ones with artificial sweeteners just aren't doing it for me, and half a small slice just seems depressing. Oh, well.

Does Halo Top make butter pecan?

Sabine_Stroehm

CarvedTones wrote: »

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

You posted a thread yesterday about a doctor prescribed low starch diet. What are your goals? Does the doctor's goal factor in?

Yesterday I was talking about the author of most of the medical articles on the connection between a blood antigen I have, arthritic flares I get, a gut microbe that thrives only in starch and the relief many people are getting going low or no starch. My doc knows I am doing this but all she said was let her know how it's going at my physical next month. She has had mixed feelings about my diets in the past; I show up at a healthier weight but with too much lost in too little time. I overdo it sometimes; see the pattern? Then a few months later my weight is back up.

Thus my question about the sugar bombs yesterday. :-)
Hope you find what works for you. See my other reply for what worked for me.

PAV8888

Take. Your. Time.
it helps you figure out stuff.

Maybe... start eating at the calories a lightly active or even sedentary person will eat at your goal weight assuming that won't create too big of a deficit.

Then start figuring out the trade offs you will have to keep making even after you stop dieting... use the time of losing weight as a practice period.

CarvedTones

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

CarvedTones wrote: »

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

You posted a thread yesterday about a doctor prescribed low starch diet. What are your goals? Does the doctor's goal factor in?

Yesterday I was talking about the author of most of the medical articles on the connection between a blood antigen I have, arthritic flares I get, a gut microbe that thrives only in starch and the relief many people are getting going low or no starch. My doc knows I am doing this but all she said was let her know how it's going at my physical next month. She has had mixed feelings about my diets in the past; I show up at a healthier weight but with too much lost in too little time. I overdo it sometimes; see the pattern? Then a few months later my weight is back up.

Thus my question about the sugar bombs yesterday. :-)
Hope you find what works for you. See my other reply for what worked for me.

Sugar bombs were fruit. In the last few days, they were specifically ripe bartlett pears, 6 oz and 100 calories. I am actually trying to treat my dieting disorder with those and almond butter. The disorder is overdoing it and averaging under 1000 over the course of several days. That also has to stop.

Sabine_Stroehm

CarvedTones wrote: »

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

CarvedTones wrote: »

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

You posted a thread yesterday about a doctor prescribed low starch diet. What are your goals? Does the doctor's goal factor in?

Yesterday I was talking about the author of most of the medical articles on the connection between a blood antigen I have, arthritic flares I get, a gut microbe that thrives only in starch and the relief many people are getting going low or no starch. My doc knows I am doing this but all she said was let her know how it's going at my physical next month. She has had mixed feelings about my diets in the past; I show up at a healthier weight but with too much lost in too little time. I overdo it sometimes; see the pattern? Then a few months later my weight is back up.

Thus my question about the sugar bombs yesterday. :-)
Hope you find what works for you. See my other reply for what worked for me.

Sugar bombs were fruit. In the last few days, they were specifically ripe bartlett pears, 6 oz and 100 calories. I am actually trying to treat my dieting disorder with those and almond butter. The disorder is overdoing it and averaging under 1000 over the course of several days. That also has to stop.

I understood that they were fruit. I just wasn't sure how they fit into your low starch protocol.

If you're a man, regularly eating fewer than 1000 calories (I wondered that yesterday) then I'd suggest focusing on a way to lose weight while still fueling your body (thus my suggestion to eat avocados and olives and the like).

Best of luck with whatever you find that works for you. I hope you find it soon.

CarvedTones

I am doing better on getting more calories. That low average is not what I am currently doing. I still need to bump it up some more though. I got a thread closed for talking in too much detail about the low number and the results.

kommodevaran

I think this is very interesting, and I want to contribute because I have been maintaining a healthy weight now for 3 years, pretty effortlessly, after losing 50 pounds, after having struggled with weight and food and eating, and fear and misconceptions about all of it, for 20 to 30 years.

I too was the one who would eat more than all the others, and then take the leftovers home. I always prepared too much food, because I believed I needed enough to be full, but I didn't reflect over the fact that I ate until I was stuffed.

I really feel that I have just made minor tweaks to my eating habits and lifestyle, but I also really feel that I have made a 180. In many ways, my routines are very similar to how I grew up, and they are similar to how I usually live on vacation. No "random but specific" rules anymore, but not letting go of every boundary, either, like I did for the last leg before I decided to lose weight the last time.

This means that I had to find "a new normal". I like to describe it as "eating, moving, thinking and feeling like a normal weight person". This normal is personal. To make this "lifestyle change" sustainable, I need a set of rules - crystal clear, but also flexible. (We often think that "freedom" means "no rules", but for anything to work properly, there has to be rules.) I have principles, like "I eat anything I want, but not everything at once, and not all the time", and "food should taste good, but not too good", and "I love food that loves me back".

I have implemented some sustainable habits.
I weigh myself every morning and record the weight. I have a range of 55-58 kilos that I consider "mine".
I plan and eat regular meals.
I plan and schedule shopping.
I will never have more than one week's worth of treats at home.
I cook a lot from scratch.
I move more on the daily.
I go to bed at a reasonable hour.

Other principles include "listen to my body, but don't let emotions take control over me", "stick to meals, and portion out in advance and eat up what I've served myself" but also "have a treat if I want to and my weight isn't trending upwards"; "wait until I'm hungry before I eat", but also "sometimes I don't feel hungry, but I know my appetite isn't reliable enough to be my only guidance, so I eat anyway". I have one set of rules for normal days, and one set of rules for special occasions, and an idea of how rare occasions have to be in order to be special.

I have dived a bit into mindfulness and intuitive eating, and I'm using some of it. I call a lot of what I'm doing, "zen". You seem to be torn between "strict" and "lax". There's really no reason to pick one or the other. Practice some mental exercises: Imagine that you're holding a wet piece of soap. How would you prevent it from slipping? You can't grip it too hard. But you have to get a firm grip. Eating is a lot like that.

Javagal2778

I have done something similar. I adopted the One Bite rule (coined by Melissa Hartwig from the Whole30). I allow myself any foods but it has to taste amazing in that first bite or it's not worth it. I have learned a lot about the foods I actually like/don't like by slowing down and actually tasting them.
With alcohol, I realized I was using it to cope with feeling stressed/sad/tired. Now, before I have a drink, I ask myself why I want it. My rule is to only drink when I have time to truly enjoy the drink. There are so many times when i am passing on it because I want the drink to cope not enjoy. My alcohol intake has significantly decreased because of this new approach.
I think you will learn a lot about yourself with your new approach. It won't be perfect, you'll make slip ups along the way but you will still be in a different, better place than where you started.

acfisher88

I used to be the same about breakroom-type food. If it's there, I'll have it because why not... What really helped me was thinking about all these foods as options; putting OR between them instead of AND.

So I allow myself one treat a day that fits in with my calorie limit, but I can only choose one. So I CAN have that muffin after a morning meeting if I want to, but then that means I won't be having that slice of pecan pie for my colleague's birthday that afternoon (which I absolutely will not be able to resist!).

It changed my thinking so that I'm always waiting for something better to come along. I'm not denying myself something I know will taste good, I just know I'll kick myself if it's not as good as something I could have had later. Sometimes it actually leads me to not having anything, because I've passed up everything earlier in the day and there's nothing that excited me enough.

JeromeBarry1

Just about anyone who got big and obese had some habits of extravagantly consuming calories. While I didn't have the habit of making my own nachos and eating Oreos while waiting for the cheese to melt, I did have the habit of often making Bisquick pancakes, slathering butter on them, and drowning them in corn syrup. Simply writing about it puts me at risk of reverting to it. I no longer have such pancakes in my list of choices for breakfast. In a similar way, I identified several other obesogenic habits that were uniquely mine and worked to eliminate them. The easiest for me to eliminate were the first to go. Those were the drive-through restaurants. I have not ordered a Jack-In-The-Box Ultimate Cheeseburger now for nearly 17 years, nor have I super-sized a McDonald's Big Max Extra Value Meal. In your case, look at your own habits and decide which are the easiest to change. Knock those out quickly. After that, keep up with the self-examination and find one or two habits that might be more difficult to change, and start working on those. With mindful attention to yourself, you'll be able to do it. In time, you'll become slim and healthy.

CarvedTones

@acfisher88 - the large muffins I am talking about are fat bombs packing about 600 calories each. One would carve out a really big hole in the day's planned diet.

@JeromeBarry1 - my worst eating out was at buffets. After finishing a loaded plate and going back for seconds on a couple of entrees, I would hit the dessert bar using a dinner plate or a bowl from the soup station, Chocolate silk pie with banana pudding next to it so I could get a spoon full with some of both was a favorite. I am lucky to have only been about 60 to 65 pounds overweight (to get to the very top of the healthy range). When I bought extra pants at what I had committed to being the largest size, I got ones with an elastic waistband.

I finally got disgusted with myself and went into extreme dieting mode. I always start diets that way to give myself a "lead to protect" pretty quickly so I won't postpone starting the diet (which I had problems with). I stayed in that mode longer than I should have, but have been upping calories to a more healthy diet. I go from one extreme to the other. I get obsessed with losing and impatient to see the scale move and have trouble continuing to eat after dinner, which I keep light. I have gotten better about it but I still need to push the calorie count higher.