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The "diet mentality" Just stop :)

merzbackmerzback Posts: 451Member Member Posts: 451Member Member
I have a bit of a rant about what I hear and read when people are trying to lose weight. Get off the yoyo and stop the diet mentality. The diet industry has 5 percent success rate long term. When people go on certain diets, the diet takes the credit. But what about long term? When people no longer can restrict certain foods groups or just eating not enough calories per day, then you're on your own. Stop using the word "cheat" or saying you are "bad" because you had a piece of cake. Allow yourselves some flexibility so you can live a normal life, and stop using words that are negative. You are not a cheater or a bad person because you ate something unhealthy. You are human, and just move on from that moment because the semantics just keep you down. Candy, cake and unhealthy foods are unhealthy for EVERYONE but you do not hear a thin person say they were BAD. I know most people do not say they are "dieting" anymore because if you go ON a diet, eventually you go OFF. When you decide what to eat, ask yourself is it something that will make you feel better later both physically and emotionally. Many of us have to get off this mentality, because being healthy is mostly emotional based. I do not have all the answers, but I Get tired of people putting themselves down and allowing an industry to determine your happiness, your day and the scale is not the end all of your life, and neither is an indulgence occasionally. Ok thanks for listening to my rant. JMHO :smiley:
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Replies

  • merzbackmerzback Posts: 451Member Member Posts: 451Member Member
    Thanks- yes it seems like many people on here are so stuck into that mentality- I need to l lose weight for my wedding, or school reunion- that the scale is all the care about. Many do not care about their long term health. My first diet years ago when I was 14, I thought once I lost all the weight, my life would do a 180. GUess what? It did not...
  • timtam163timtam163 Posts: 508Member Member Posts: 508Member Member
    YES. This. It seems to come from a place of self-loathing, which is just so hard to break and I feel for everyone who's struggling with this but it's just not the answer. We have been taught for soooo long that our issues will be solved once we lose weight, and it's hard to work on anything else when society has told this lie so many times before.

    I also think we've all internalized body bullying, and we've lost touch with how we feel because society won't let us be truly vulnerable. Breaking free of that is really really hard, and I hope all the "diet mindset" people will eventually do some introspection and really get to the bottom of their body issues.
    edited November 2017
  • Ironandwine69Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,402Member Member Posts: 2,402Member Member
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
  • Saltine24Saltine24 Posts: 122Member Member Posts: 122Member Member
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    ...A lifestyle change! :)
  • try2againtry2again Posts: 2,250Member Member Posts: 2,250Member Member
    Edited
    edited November 2017
  • sardelsasardelsa Posts: 5,545Member Member Posts: 5,545Member Member
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    I call it..cutting, leaning, shredding, eating in a deficit, torture.. you know.. :p
  • AarjonoAarjono Posts: 228Member Member Posts: 228Member Member
    Saltine24 wrote: »
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    ...A lifestyle change! :)

    Yep, this!! I didn't start being successful until I stopped looking at it as a "weight loss" diet, but as a lifestyle instead. I've slowly built new habits and routines, and have been very happy with the way things have been going. Yes, I have made changes *to* my diet, but a side effect of my new habits is that I am losing weight.
    edited November 2017
  • merzbackmerzback Posts: 451Member Member Posts: 451Member Member
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
  • kommodevarankommodevaran Posts: 15,434Member Member Posts: 15,434Member Member
    reglers wrote: »
    merzback wrote: »
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.

    That's the thing... I'm not sure if it's possible to do that. Most overweight people who have been overweight for a long time, possible since childhood are just not able to do that. And I guess that it's okay as long as you are mindful about it. My partner and her family are all quite naturally slim. They do not obsess about food at all, they even are people who "forget" to eat lunch because they were busy and just did not feel hungry so they eat an apple or something at 2 P.M. If you tell me in the morning that all I will have for lunch is an apple, yeah I am obsessing about it and already dreading feeling hungry most of the day. Or when I am on the road and lunchtime is approaching and there is no restaurant or supermarket around I will start obsessing. I think it's a lifelong committment to being mindful about food intake, almost like being alcoholic. Once you have had it (the food obsession) it never goes away again.
    The obsession can go away, or become manageable. I grew up in an overeating family, and I have had to relearn a lot of things - how hunger and satiety and cravings feels (for me), how much these feelings come and go, how much food is appropriate for me, what kinds of foods work best for me, and why, to expect that I'll feel hungry several times per day and that's okay, to understand that my fear of getting hungry is part biological (we need to eat) but also part aquired (from parents and media/diet+food industry/previous dieting/restriction attempts).

    I too could never understand how "an apple" could be an adequate lunch, but now I'm actually one of those "naturally slim" people. I like to eat, and I like having a somewhat regular meal schedule, but I can wait if I have something to do that is more important at that time; I like balanced meals, but I like and can eat almost anything.

    I think I'm lucky because my problems didn't run very deep - not rooted in self-image or caused by abuse, I was just misinformed. Even in my most extreme periods, eating out, especially while on vacation, was liberating; I would on one hand loosen up on all my rules, and on the other hand be a lot more selective. I would seek out good food, and never think that I'm not going to eat. Somehow the responsibility of "feeding myself", at home, alone, was hard for me. Things have changed now, I have aquired more, and more neutral, nuanced and sensible information about nutrition, and I feel in charge and competent.
  • lemurcat12lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886Member Member Posts: 30,886Member Member
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    That's what I find odd about the hatred of the term. Yes, you can call it "cutting" or keeping a calorie deficit, but there's nothing wrong with consciously trying to reduce total fat through eating less than you burn, and that's one use of the term "diet" (another is, as kommodevaran said, just what you eat).

    That one is focused on body composition or reducing some fat doesn't mean one has any specific "diet mentality" and for me -- although I have not been particularly focused lately on body comp, I admit -- realizing I had the ability to change my body in that way was empowering and did not relate to some yoyo thing or buying into diet industry nonsense. And it certainly did not contradict the idea of flexibility (I embraced the concept of flexible dieting) or cause me to think of myself as "bad" or a "cheater" if I consumed some pizza or a cookie. To the contrary, having a healthy idea that oh, fat loss happens in this way, and I can choose to work on fat loss through a calorie deficit (which is a diet) and there's no magic mumbo-jumbo needed helped me to not fall for most of the diet industry nonsense.

    I do try different things to see how I like them/if they work for me (different ways of eating or what not, playing around with macros and all that), but I don't freak out over them or get bothered if something is not ideal for me. I take what I like and discard the rest.
  • lemurcat12lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886Member Member Posts: 30,886Member Member
    merzback wrote: »
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.

    Why are you assuming that poster does not trust her body or listen to it or obsesses about food and dieting. That one wants to lose some fat/improve body comp (which at leaner levels especially may need to be a conscious effort) does not mean that one is obsessing about food and dieting.

    I will note that I tend to find maintenance easy if I watch portions (as in use my mind, I usually don't log at maintenance, although I found it one enjoyable way to lose weight, although not IMO required for me), eat on a regular schedule and don't snack, and remain active, and eat a generally nutrition-conscious diet (which I would do regardless of weight as I enjoy it and consider it important for health). This is what I call "mindful eating" (and is totally consistent with my own ideas of flexible dieting -- the difference is that for a diet you keep a calorie deficit, so eat a little less).

    I see this as quite different from "trust your body" if that is supposed to me follow hunger signals or something. I don't think that works for a lot of people, including me. I need to involve my brain--including my understanding of what a reasonable amount to eat and what reasonable choices are--in the process.

    I agree that beating yourself up is not a good approach and would not work for me. I think of this whole thing as an interesting learning experience.
  • newmeadownewmeadow Posts: 8,343Member Member Posts: 8,343Member Member
    This thread has great potential.
  • newmeadownewmeadow Posts: 8,343Member Member Posts: 8,343Member Member
    merzback wrote: »
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.

    Have you seen her photo? I think she's okay.
  • stanmann571stanmann571 Posts: 5,547Member Member Posts: 5,547Member Member
    merzback wrote: »
    So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?

    Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.

    Because that's how I got to 260 lbs.
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