A first time for everything...

jsminer827

Here were are, 127 days into this journey to health and physical fitness and I am downright cranky. On one hand, I'm surprised it took this long to feel like I'm not getting where I want to be. On the other hand, dang it, I was doing so well keeping my doubts at bay that I'm disappointed this day has come. I'm hoping for some perspective.

So, what's my deal?

My all-time high weight was 236 pounds, sometime around early 2012. At the time, I also smoked, drank regularly, and I truly believed the 3 B's made everything better... Beer, Butter, and Bacon that is. I'm 5'4" tall and it just wasn't a good look on the outside or on the inside...

Fast forward to late-2016 - I now had all the markers for metabolic syndrome and my doctor issued an ultimatum, get it together or find a new doctor because if I returned in 2017 in the same condition I was going on medication for cholesterol and triglycerides and I was on the fast path to Type 2 diabetes. In November of 2016, I took the preliminary step of quitting smoking, I am proud of that - 1 year and 17 days smoke free.

But naturally, I did nothing else for the next 6 months... in mid-2017, my divorce from my now ex-wife was finalized and unsurprisingly, as I tried to get more life insurance (a caveat of the divorce) the physical exams turned up roughly the same news as my PCP had given me the October before. Here I was, a divorced mother of 2, with high cholesterol, high triglycerides, high fasting glucose, regularly exhausted from my day, nevermind running around with my kid's after work, single parenting exactly half the time. I was 223 pounds at the time of my divorce, mostly a result of the stress (not because I was doing anything intentionally better to reduce my weight).

Whoa.

By now it's now late June and I've finally pulled my head out of the sand. I started tracking in MFP, cleaned the processed carbs out of my pantry, started eating a LOT of salad and skipped the fast food. I joined a gym after vacation in July, and I meet with a trainer each week. I dropped like 12 pounds in the first week - insane how much water weight one can carry! And from there, I've steadily lost fat and gained strength.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering what the problem could be?

In the last two months I have lost 2 pounds of lean muscle each month (along with the fat loss of around 3-4 pounds each month) and I find the lean muscle loss completely discouraging. My trainer tells me not to focus on the lean muscle loss, I'm still making great progress, but I can't get it out of my head. I'm still tracking every single thing that goes in my mouth, but it doesn't seem to make a difference -- I tweaked my diet to increase protein and decrease carbs, I was zero percent happy - no matter how much fiber I added, my body seemed to want more carbs. I tweaked again to add protein after working out to aid in recovery, still no dice... I'm sitting at 178.4 pounds as of this morning and I'm annoyed. Thanksgiving is next week, Christmas a few weeks afterwards... I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, and I want some friggin' egg nog.

Since there isn't egg nog in my future, what am I going to do?

On the positive side, I went for fasting bloodwork in advance of my next physical (November 20th) and the results could not have been much better. I expect a very good visit with my doctor. In short, I've dropped my triglycerides to 68 (from 336), my total cholesterol is down by 60 points to a very healthy 147 (still some work to do on the "good" cholesterol but tremendous progress), and my fasting glucose is 86. So - I think I've successfully staved off medication, but for some reason I'm finding right now to be a struggle.

I am committed to continue going to the gym 3 times a week and I'll continue seeing my trainer. I'll even try hard to keep my calories in line. I eat about 1,400 per day now in an effort to lose 1# per week. I don't eat back calories I burn at the gym so I should be doing better than that. I think my goal weight is somewhere around 150. The weight doesn't seem to be coming off of the places I want it to - mainly my midsection - which is what's contributing to my crankiness. I've done thousands of penguins, crunches galore (no - I mean it, on days I don't go to the gym I do 10 sets of 50 in my family room in a circuit including leg lifts and side planks).

As I run out of steam in writing this, I'm not sure what my goal was here - I read these threads a lot and sometimes responses can be pretty harsh and other times wildly supportive. I'm not sure which combination I need at the moment. Overall I know most of the weight I needed to lose has come off and it's come off pretty quickly. I know that I've formed a lot of good habits and I have zero desire to go back to the way I was before. I know some of you are probably scratching your head wondering why I am upset about this at all - and I don't have a good answer for you. Part of this was cathartic, just needed to get it out. The other part, which is where you can help, is sharing a tip or two to help me get over this hump? What can I focus on between now and the end of the year? What's going to get the flab off of the midsection?

quiksylver296

How was the lean muscle loss calculated? I would personally chalk it up to mismeasurement by your trainer and keep on keepin' on! (And I'd plan to have some egg nog!)

I'm eating ALL THE THINGS on Thanksgiving, with zero worries. I'll get back on track on Friday and it will only be a small blip on the scale, if that.

cmriverside

I think you would feel a lot better if you start eating back those gym calories.

Set your goal now to, "Lose 1 pound per week." Eat back your Exercise calories.

I sort of crashed at the same point as you when I was losing. I raised my calories from 1300 to 1600 (I was eating back exercise calories all along, though - and I have a truly sedentary life/retired/single/small condo) and I felt much better and continued to lose a little more than was expected.

You can't continue to run on empty, it affects everything from mood to sleep to stress levels to hair/skin, depression, irritability. I learned the hard way. I just didn't know any better, but once I did I ate more and everything fell into place.

Well done so far. If it becomes too difficult, you're doing it wrong. Truly.

cmriverside

P.S. There IS eggnog in your future. Buy some.

I just finished a half gallon myself. So yum. I had a half cup a day for a week. Worth it.

jemhh

There are not body composition measurement methods, outside of dissection/postmortem examinations, that can tell you that you are losing two pounds of muscle per month. If you are eating sufficient amounts of protein and performing resistance exercise, you are retaining as much muscle mass as you can and should not fret. If you aren't doing those things, you are throwing away your muscle.

As for your midsection--when people say it is the last spot to lose fat, they are being literal. It can literally be the last few pounds that will make your midsection look to be proportional with the rest of you. If you had the markers for metabolic syndrome, I would guess that you carried a lot of fat in your stomach, same as me. If that is the case, chances are you will find that hitting 150 will not get rid of that midsection fat. Mid-130s would be my guess for that.

fitoverfortymom

Egg nog is disgusting, but the great part about MFP and counting calories is you can work anything you want into your diet as long as it fits your calories.

Last night I had a taco supreme and cinnamon twists at Taco Bell for dinner. It was delicious, and I still maintained my deficit.

It takes practice to change our brains to not eat ALL the tacos (unless they fit your calories of course), but let yourself have the things you want. Take a step back from them if you need to--if they cause you to overeat in some way. Other than full-sugar soda, I eat everything today that I did two years ago--just in a carefully measured way.

I also quit smoking--6 years ago today in fact! It was the best thing I did for myself, but it took me another 4 or so years to address my weight. I was 256 just before I started MFP and today I am 156 and running a half marathon in 4 weeks.

There is nothing you can't do. Stick around and do the work, and you'll see the results!

quiksylver296

fitoverfortymom wrote: »

Egg nog is disgusting.

<<snipped>>

I actually agree. It isn't what I would choose to use my calories on.

@jsminer827 The point is that you can eat ANYTHING, even egg nog, within your calorie allowance. I have ice cream, or chocolate, or candy, pretty much every day. I also have greek yogurt, chicken breast, veggies, and other "healthy" things. If I tried to cut all the yummy things out, I would freak out and binge. Allowing myself a little ice cream/candy each day keeps me happy and on track.

Sunshine_And_Sand

It sounds like you are doing what you are suppose to be doing. I recommend enjoying all the thanksgiving foods as previously mentioned and maybe eat at maintenance for a week or so to give yourself a break and then see if it is easier for you to be happy with a deficit.
Great job on your progress so far!

2011rocket3touring

First of all congratulations on everything you've done.
My personal thoughts are as lean as you are, eat some of those exercise calories. Give your body more fuel to recover from your workouts.
Once you do that try to bulk up your upper body to minimize the appearance of your midsection.

steveko89

Good work so far, losing that amount of weight in that short of time is nothing to sneeze at. I also think your focus on the scale is serving to minimize the impact the changes you've been able to incur on your health markers; which ultimately is more important than what the scale says or how we look in the mirror, especially to your children that will have you around longer now you've put yourself in a better place from a health standpoint.

That said, I'm probably as vain as they come and sympathize with feeling like you're spinning your wheels when it comes to the scale and appearance. Ultimately, 127 days isn't that long of a time-frame to be doing this and you've been able to lose an appreciable amount of weight in the span; keep at it, stick to an appropriate deficit. Unfortunately, all the crunches in the world aren't going to help reduce the size of your mid-section; you can't spot reduce fat and everyone gains/keeps/loses fat differently, continuing to lose weight/fat is all you can do in that department.

RE: eggnog
Though I echo the comments of others that eggnog isn't a favorite for me, empirically, you can have eggnog, or whatever you want to consume so long as it fits your calories. Now, you may decide that the nutritional value/ingredient profile doesn't jive with what you want to put in your body or you may choose to go to town, though debates around food/ingredient quality or categories rage on daily throughout the MFP community, that's ultimately your choice.

RE: exercise calories
Another debate-heavy topic; I have found that using a spreadsheet I found on reddit to back-calculate my actual TDEE better than trying to rely on MFP settings and/or various calculators, estimations or heart rate monitors to determine intake targets and exercise calories. Iteratively calculating and adjusting intake to your actual TDEE may help spurn your weight loss back in action.

RE: Holidays/Mindset
Thanksgiving and Christmas are both a single day. Yes, there may be ancillary events and leftovers to contend with but they aren't magical occurrences where we magically absorb extra calories and gain weight automatically. It comes down to choices; you can choose to stay on the straight and narrow (not indulging in less-than-nutritionally sound dishes or treats), eat a calorically reasonable amount of any food and stay accountable, or treat them like a free-for-all and get back on track the next day. Assuredly there will be some disagreement with those options, but don't let one or two "special days" through the holiday season derail your entire journey. This sentiment goes for those regular days throughout the process where negative choices creep in. "I forgot to defrost chicken today, guess I'll just have take-out", "Dan's leaving the company and brought donuts for everyone", "I got stuck at work late and won't have time to get to the gym before picking up the kids", "there's nothing on the buffet table at this party that fits my macros/nutritional qualifications" sort of scenarios crop up that throw a kink in our nutritional/health/fitness plans any day of the year. The key to sustained success is not throwing in the today on the whole day, week, or month when they do. Make it a point to not miss two-in-a-row, and don't throw yourself under the bus when you do; give yourself some latitude to make some miss-steps but brush them off and move passed them as soon as possible.

MsMaeFlowers

Drink the egg nog, give your body a break, and stop worrying about how much lean muscles your trainer thinks you are losing.

Does it really matter? If you are working out consistently, you are going to keep more than enough muscle to work from once you are at goal weight.

Give yourself some slack here. It's holiday season. If you want something yummy, work it into your calories and have it. If you mess up and eat too much, start over tomorrow.

I am still working on losing stomach fat myself. And I still had Reese PB cups for a snack today. And I will definitely have some egg nog next time I feel like buying it. Enjoy your life, enjoy your food.

ladyhusker39

Wow! That was quite a mouthful. I hope it helped to get some of that off your chest. I can completely sympathize with where you are right now.

If I were you, I'd take a diet break and eat at maintenance until the first of the year. I'd keep up with the work at the gym except I think you're going a bit overboard trying to spot reduce which is an exercise in futility.

Don't over eat, but it sounds like you need to get some perspective and create some new goals after you've had a break.

jsminer827

I appreciate everyone's thoughts... I do think part of my need was just getting it off my chest.

I appreciate the perspective on taking a break, but I don't think it is a good fit for me. I don't want to give up what I've worked for and part of that was creating new routines to stay engaged. I realize and I'm ok with slowing progress during the next six weeks.

I think perhaps trying to eat back some of the calories will be beneficial and totally understand (and do) fit foods I want into my calories each day. I try to make healthier choices that provide some nutritional benefit along with the chocolate or whatever it is I'm craving, but I still splurge within reason.

I knew (but didn't believe) you can't spot train - so I'll just go with it now. I know you guys are right, and over time when my body has given up the fat elsewhere its got to come off the middle, right? Right now my body fat percentage is estimated somewhere around 38% - give or take because measurements are impossibly imprecise. I'd like to get that down another 10 points, so I just have to settle in for the long haul. I think part of what makes this hard is that the progress was astounding in the first 3 months - first there was a waist and hips, now there are muscles! Who knew!

Now, all that said... how does one reasonably estimate calories burned during a strength training session? Cardio I get... but are there any quick and dirty estimates for strength? I don't want to eat back all of the calories, but I usually work out for an hour at a time... three sets of each exercise, 8-10 reps, core is usually 15 reps or timed. Virtually nothing is done without at least some weight. Any thoughts?

jemhh

Taking a diet break means eating at maintenance. It doesn't mean deviating from your new routines. It is good practice for maintenance.

Use the strength training entry in the cardiovascular exercise section.