Need to lose 80 lbs

Papa_Swearingen

Hello all,

I’ve been struggling with my weight all of my life. The scale only ever seems to continue to increase as time goes by. I have two small children that require a great deal of my attention, my job works me to death, and on top of all this I have a lovely wife and best friend, who, in reality, I never see. At this point in my life I actually need to drop at minimum 50 lbs but in reality I should drop more like 80 lbs. I can’t seem to find a routine or the correct sustainable lifestyle for weight loss. I feel like I’m drowning! Any support is greatly appreciated... hoping for ideas or posts with rational thoughts!

88olds

OK. Years ago I had a wife and 2 little kids at home. I also had a CPAP, HBP, debilitating back pain and what seemed like a permanent cough. I weighed 285 lbs. I was killing myself. Actually, the CPAP saved me. Without real sleep I was just trapped in a fog.

I didn't have your job. Is there a way to step off your hamster wheel? Is this job worth it? Some high pressure jobs pay good money, but some are just designed to run you until you drop so you can be replaced with the next victim. Only you know the answer.

Weight loss, that is sustainable lifestyle change, long term weight loss, is not a secret at this point. It does take some time to learn and some time to focus. But you can work at your own pace.

Get a food scale. Log on to MFP and calculate a calorie deficit aimed at losing 1 lb per week. Don't add anything extra for exercise if you do any. Play with the kids.

Start a food diary. Most important thing is that everything goes in the food diary, good, bad, and ugly. You don't necessarily need the numbers to start. But listing what you eat and drink is good habit # 1. (BTW, I tracked with pen & paper. It was easier for me.) Plan your menu every week. Learn the calories for what you eat and start filling in the numbers in your diary and eat within your deficit. When you make mistakes, you will, log it and keep going.

Set up a controlled weekly weigh in and chart your progress. Establish a moderate livable downward trend and ride the trend. Give the process time to work. If your plan isn't working, make modest adjustments until it does. Never stop experimenting and adjusting. A good plan is one you can actually live with. Good luck.

Webbnikki630

Hi, I am looking for a fitness buddy on a daily basis to share support and motivation

88olds

You might be a good fit for our MFP group, Guys On A Diet. Use the search function to search "GoaD". Click on a post. In the upper right click Options and ask to join.

Log in everyday, post questions, read The Lifestyle thread. You'll find people willing to help with what you're facing. I've been there 11 years and a few people have been around longer than I have.

TravisJHunt

I feel your pain brother. I'm in the same situation and its funny to listen to the folks who've done it claim how easy it is. If it was so easy, there'd be no obesity or overweight people in the world. The funny part and if you study psychology at all, the part they are missing is that all situations are different and we all have different things that motivate us and keep us going. Physically yes, its simple calories in vs calories out. Mentally and emotionally its a whole different ball game. Its why a person who has lung cancer, fights and wins, continues to smoke even under the advice of a doctor that its going to cause the cancer to return.

So I rarely post in forums anymore because everyone's an expert and everyone will ignore the mental part of a healthy lifestyle. Its easier, cheaper and more convenient to be unhealthy these days. Look at your local grocery store, junk food is dirt cheap, fruits and vegetables are expensive as hell. Scientifically they've proven that most people are setup to enjoy the taste of unhealthy foods over healthy choices.

So rather than listen to the folks who want to crap all over you for thinking this is difficult, etc. Instead, remember, you're here and you're trying. You'll hit bumps and setbacks but again remember you're here. Above all, don't compare yourself to others as your situation is different so listening to the guy who has no kids and works out 10 hours a week isn't going to make you feel any better about your situation and in the end is just going to depress you into not doing anything. Do what you can, work for yourself and remember, you're trying which is the most important thing. Fawk anyone who says different and claims this is easy and stop complaining!

88olds

I don't see where I said anything was easy.

But we don't suffer from a lack of information.

Really, come on over to GoaD, people won't crap on you there. There are some folks there who have been working for years against big #s.

MaddMaestro

If it's hard to 'find time to lose weight', start with meal planning. Even if it's not exactly the healthiest foods your eating, managing calories is a good first step. That way, you're only watching the amount you eat vs. what you're eating and exercise. Not sure how your job schedule works for planning beyond that (cooking meals and whatever) but hopefully, that guy with the GoaD group can help you out

Papa_Swearingen

Dear All,

Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I think my main issue is I have some triggers that lead me to lose focus and step aside from my goals. Perhaps I need to hold myself more accountable. I think also, that I am extremely impatient, and after trying hard for a week or a couple weeks I become hopeless. It's almost like I need to see some real progress in a short amount of time to keep me motivated. My issues are definitely psychological it seem.


Thanks again,

Matt