Does anyone ever feel this way?

imanibelle

As we all know, if you refuse to do thr work it takes to be healthy, you deserve to be obese and unhealthy. But has anyone ever felt like because they seem to have lost the motivation / willpower to lose weight, they deserve to be fat and want to laugh at and mock themselves as they grow heavier and heavier? I feel a sort of mild malice towards myself, mixed with disgust as well as apathy.

Beaudom91

Sounds like depression, I'd suggest talking to your Dr

dsboohead

Apathy is never a good place to be stuck in! You have only got you to get the job done! Wouldn't hurt to get a referral to a psychologist. Depression?

dsboohead

Sounds like you need to do some directed digging to see where these feelings of self loathing stems.

davidylin

I don't, but I've heard this from other people before. I think it could be interpreted as a number of things: a coping mechanism for not trying (an excuse), genuine self-loathing, a more serious mental disorder, or misplaced sarcasm.

I'm a firm believer that people tend to get what they deserve, a corollary of a belief that people have the most power to affect their own lives. That is to say, I tend not to think about what I deserve, but, rather, that I make - more than anything or anyone else - what I deserve.

Someone once told me that their feelings were broken one by one. The last feelings they were able to experience close to her breaking point were fear and anger. She chased those emotions like a feelings junkie with a tolerance that never allowed her a high. For her, the diagnosis was major depression and she's doing pretty okay these days. It took her a while to start smiling again but the treatment seems to be working.

imanibelle

davidylin wrote: »

I don't, but I've heard this from other people before. I think it could be interpreted as a number of things: a coping mechanism for not trying (an excuse), genuine self-loathing, a more serious mental disorder, or misplaced sarcasm.

I'm a firm believer that people tend to get what they deserve, a corollary of a belief that people have the most power to affect their own lives. That is to say, I tend not to think about what I deserve, but, rather, that I make - more than anything or anyone else - what I deserve.

Someone once told me that their feelings were broken one by one. The last feelings they were able to experience close to her breaking point were fear and anger. She chased those emotions like a feelings junkie with a tolerance that never allowed her a high. For her, the diagnosis was major depression and she's doing pretty okay these days. It took her a while to start smiling again but the treatment seems to be working.

Thanks, everybody. It's probably just misplaced sarcasm or a bad coping mechanism. Just need to figure out how to snap out of it. I'm generally a happy person, just disgusted with myself at this point. Makes no sense, but . . .

imanibelle

davidylin wrote: »

I don't, but I've heard this from other people before. I think it could be interpreted as a number of things: a coping mechanism for not trying (an excuse), genuine self-loathing, a more serious mental disorder, or misplaced sarcasm.

I'm a firm believer that people tend to get what they deserve, a corollary of a belief that people have the most power to affect their own lives. That is to say, I tend not to think about what I deserve, but, rather, that I make - more than anything or anyone else - what I deserve.


I appreciate this. Maybe I can wake myself up with that.

runningforthetrain

I would be careful with the word deserves. I don't think the way you are using it is helpful. Have some compassion for yourself-- get a good night's sleep and get some walking in tomorrow:)

dwilliamca

No, I haven't and it is sad if you do. I guess there have been long periods where I've been complacent and ignored my weight and weight gain...sort of a state of denial and maybe apathy, but not malice. Sometimes negative feelings about ourselves can be motivators to make improvements, but when they become self-destructive you need to learn to change your thinking. Have you ever considered seeing a counselor or psychologist about your self-feelings? Lots of people have low self esteem and a good professional can help you learn to like yourself, over-weight or not. One of the things my psychologist worked with me on was bio-feedback, where you analyze your thoughts and learn to replace the negative ones with positive ones. Like losing weight, it does take work. As for your attitude towards losing weight and becoming healthy, what is it you dislike about the process? I wonder if you over-do it trying to be what you think is "healthy" by making too many changes to your lifestyle at once like eating too few calories and feeling hungry and deprived, pushing yourself to eat foods you don't particularly like but perceive as healthy, pushing your out-of-shape body to do exercises it is not ready for, then beating yourself up because you think you fail. These are things that cause people to give up on "diets and exercise". If I were you I'd start fresh with a small goal that is not too aggressive. Don't drastically change how you eat in one day. Eliminate a few "unhealthy" items or habits and add in a few new "healthier" ones one day at a time. Set your mind to keep to your calorie budget and stick to it. Find foods you like that work for you and your new lifestyle. Slowly add in some exercise like walking or other low impact exercise that doesn't make you want to give it all up. Obviously losing weight isn't always a piece of cake, literally, but it shouldn't be something that makes you miserable and self-destructive either. Please consider getting some help. Positive thinking....you can do it!

davidylin

I agree. If we don't have compassion for ourselves, how can we have compassion for others?

pogiguy05

Realize that for one your a human being and not perfect and no one is. I spent the past 25 years on a roller coaster on again off again journey. Up and to about August this year I have been relatively healthy although overweight. Then in August I had a medical issue where I passed out and busted my face, lip and teeth on hard pavement. Reality check and scared the crap out of me to be honest. After I recovered from a head concussion I made a choice to start once again working on me. Oct. 1st I started back to the gym and have been going almost everyday since. I have lost some weight, but the greatest thing is I feel so much better.

i wish I had someone to go to the gym and workout with, but I know thats not gonna happen and I have to do this myself. I am NOT doing this for anyone but ME cause I know I am better then what I am now.

If you truly feel that way i think you need to seek professional help.

imanibelle

Such helpful advice in this thread. Thanks. I'll start by making healthy breakfasts and go from there.

davidylin

imanibelle wrote: »

Such helpful advice in this thread. Thanks. I'll start by making healthy breakfasts and go from there.

Don't forget to make it delicious too

The game here is that the person that eats the best but still loses weight wins.

allygoober

My counsellor gave me a really good technique to try when I'm feeling like this just today!
She suggested imagining a loved one or a friend coming to you and saying the exact same thing, and if you have a support person, ask them to quote it back to you. Imagine what you'd say to them. We often lack the self love and encouragement towards ourselves that we would give to others

imanibelle

Thanks, you all!!!

nutmegoreo

imanibelle wrote: »

As we all know, if you refuse to do thr work it takes to be healthy, you deserve to be obese and unhealthy. But has anyone ever felt like because they seem to have lost the motivation / willpower to lose weight, they deserve to be fat and want to laugh at and mock themselves as they grow heavier and heavier? I feel a sort of mild malice towards myself, mixed with disgust as well as apathy.

I don't think we all know that. Obesity is an extremely complex issue as are health issues. One factor is lifestyle choices, other factors are related to mental health, genetics, lack of knowledge, lack of empowerment, poverty, etc. I'm not sure you mean it to sound this way, but it sounds like you lack compassion. Almost certainly lack it with yourself.

Someone suggested to image someone else was saying these same things about themselves and think about how you would respond. I like that approach.

jennifer_417

I know what those feelings are like, but the problem is, when we denigrate ourselves, it's really demotivating, and actually makes the problem worse. Losing weight from a place of self-love and wanting to provide a good life for oneself is so much more motivating than trying to do from a place of self-hatred or low self-esteem.

Lounmoun

imanibelle wrote: »

As we all know, if you refuse to do thr work it takes to be healthy, you deserve to be obese and unhealthy. But has anyone ever felt like because they seem to have lost the motivation / willpower to lose weight, they deserve to be fat and want to laugh at and mock themselves as they grow heavier and heavier? I feel a sort of mild malice towards myself, mixed with disgust as well as apathy.

I went through a period of self hatred years ago and might have written something similar. I wanted to punish myself because of my weight. It was really poisonous and did not help anything.
I don't hate myself anymore no matter my weight. It took work to get to a better place mentally. I deserve to feel good and live a full life.
I recommend concentrating on getting better mentally. Get some professional helpbworking through these difficult feelings.