At what age did you first move out?

mynameiscarrie

I bounced between moms, dads and grandmothers house from 14-17 then officially moved out at 17.
My mother was in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend that hated me, so I couldn't live with her. My father and his new "wife" had started using meth and becoming violent with one another and after one of their many fights my boyfriend, now husband's mother asked me to come live with them because she worried about me being with them.

Dang! That's really awesome of your boyfriend's mom (now in-law) to do that!

britttttx3

18, moved at a place a block away from the beach a roommate. Fun times

marketdimlylit

20.

jgal86

I'm 18 and am moving out in the fall to go to university... I'll probly be living on my own for a the next few years hahaha

dbanks80

I moved out at 18. Best decision of my life. I never wanted to move back with my parents because i loved my freedom and making my own decisions.

Now that my sons are grown 19 and 21 I encourage and at times demand them to move out. They think I am a total B sometimes because they think they are too young to be on their own. They say I put too much pressure on them to move out and that all of the people they know still live at home!

I believe that you should want to move out experience the world because that gave me motivation to live my life and do well. I dont understand why they wouldnt want to experience that.

My husband and i make it hard for them they must have a job, pay their bills, give them chores and they have to be working towards some kind of career. We dont charge them rent.

I think it is this generation of kids that seem too scared to move out and be responsible.

TheSlorax

I FIRST moved out at 18 for a live-in nanny position in my own studio, but it didn't work out so I moved back home after 6 months. I had sort of kind of not officially moved out again at 19 when I was basically living with my boyfriend at the time, but stopped staying over there when we broke up. At 20, a couple months before 21, I officially moved out on my own into my own apartment an hour away from home.

It's liberating and I live in a very cool city, arguably one of the coolest in the world. However, I work in mortgage, and two months after I moved out interest rates shot up so I've been living on a shoestring since then (I work mostly off of commission). I still would not trade it for living back at home at my mom's, too many issues there - not that we don't get along, but I'm the parent in the relationship pretty much AND she's a hoarder (not joking - the house is hazardous). However, if I had good relationships with either of my parents, I would NOT be moved out. Pretty much the only reason I dropped out of school and began working full time was because I needed to move out. I am really sad I can only go to school part time and slowly chip away at my degree, but I do have a good job with room to move up and I will finish the degree eventually. I've only been out on my own for 5 months now so I can't really say if I would or wouldn't do anything differently.

As far as leaving the nest goes, I am the ONLY person I know around my age with my own place. When I say I live on my own people give me a weird look because they have their 30 year old kids living with them. Or, in the case of some of my older co-workers, they have to completely bankroll their kids while they live at college or wherever. It bums me out that I'm saddled with credit card bills, a car payment, and rent, and I can't just save up and go backpack around the world, but then again I think there will be time for that later (or at least traveling) so I keep that in mind. I am glad that I'm learning how to live on my own and pay my bills because I know so many people who just CAN'T do that and it pisses me off. This generation is way too codependent and reliant on their parents, IMO. They're also not realistic, like going off to get art degrees and ending up working at like, Target or something. It's ridiculous. In this day and age the economy is not just going to throw money at you because you have a degree in ceramics, but I digress.

I honestly would love to have parents who support me financially to do whatever I please, but all the same I'm glad I don't. I work hard for what I have and there is no one to fall back on if I mess up. While it's extremely stressful, I'm also learning a lot and I certainly have a hell of a work ethic. When I look at my apartment, EVERYTHING I own was bought with my own money. All of the food in my fridge, all of the clothes in my closet, everything. That's a real sense of satisfaction that I would definitely not give up.

edit: I'm not bagging on people who financially have to live with their parents because of job loss, medical bills, whatever. I'm more annoyed with the grown up adult who lives with their parents and wants to be a "writer" but doesn't do anything to acquire the skills required to be a legitimate "writer" (or artist, actor, whatever). They work part time at Starbucks and complain that it cramps their creativity and the real world is, like, soooo haaaaard. That's who pisses me off.

dbanks80

Great for you!!!! I want for my sons to experience this.

My husband and I have invested in our kids to give them all the resources they need to succeed in life. My oldest son had a full scholarship in bball and this was going to be his last year. He was majoring in Business. All of a sudden he decides he hates the school he hates Business he's tired of playing bball and he wants to drop out. He told me he has been playing sports all his life listening to coaches tell him what to do what he needs to do and now he wants to do something that is going to make him happy.

My husband and I were livid!!!!!!!! I didnt speak to him for 2 months. He wants to study music. We told him that you ned to look at something that you will be able to get a job. We told him to take out a student loan and get a job. He did find a full time job and he will start school in the Spring.

I never had that luxury and I would have loved to be able to get a full scholarship. Oh well.

dbanks80

I FIRST moved out at 18 for a live-in nanny position in my own studio, but it didn't work out so I moved back home after 6 months. I had sort of kind of not officially moved out again at 19 when I was basically living with my boyfriend at the time, but stopped staying over there when we broke up. At 20, a couple months before 21, I officially moved out on my own into my own apartment an hour away from home.

It's liberating and I live in a very cool city, arguably one of the coolest in the world. However, I work in mortgage, and two months after I moved out interest rates shot up so I've been living on a shoestring since then (I work mostly off of commission). I still would not trade it for living back at home at my mom's, too many issues there - not that we don't get along, but I'm the parent in the relationship pretty much AND she's a hoarder (not joking - the house is hazardous). However, if I had good relationships with either of my parents, I would NOT be moved out. Pretty much the only reason I dropped out of school and began working full time was because I needed to move out. I am really sad I can only go to school part time and slowly chip away at my degree, but I do have a good job with room to move up and I will finish the degree eventually. I've only been out on my own for 5 months now so I can't really say if I would or wouldn't do anything differently.

As far as leaving the nest goes, I am the ONLY person I know around my age with my own place. When I say I live on my own people give me a weird look because they have their 30 year old kids living with them. Or, in the case of some of my older co-workers, they have to completely bankroll their kids while they live at college or wherever. It bums me out that I'm saddled with credit card bills, a car payment, and rent, and I can't just save up and go backpack around the world, but then again I think there will be time for that later (or at least traveling) so I keep that in mind. I am glad that I'm learning how to live on my own and pay my bills because I know so many people who just CAN'T do that and it pisses me off. This generation is way too codependent and reliant on their parents, IMO. They're also not realistic, like going off to get art degrees and ending up working at like, Target or something. It's ridiculous. In this day and age the economy is not just going to throw money at you because you have a degree in ceramics, but I digress.

I honestly would love to have parents who support me financially to do whatever I please, but all the same I'm glad I don't. I work hard for what I have and there is no one to fall back on if I mess up. While it's extremely stressful, I'm also learning a lot and I certainly have a hell of a work ethic. When I look at my apartment, EVERYTHING I own was bought with my own money. All of the food in my fridge, all of the clothes in my closet, everything. That's a real sense of satisfaction that I would definitely not give up.

edit: I'm not bagging on people who financially have to live with their parents because of job loss, medical bills, whatever. I'm more annoyed with the grown up adult who lives with their parents and wants to be a "writer" but doesn't do anything to acquire the skills required to be a legitimate "writer" (or artist, actor, whatever). They work part time at Starbucks and complain that it cramps their creativity and the real world is, like, soooo haaaaard. That's who pisses me off.

Great for you!!!! I want for my sons to experience this.

My husband and I have invested in our kids to give them all the resources they need to succeed in life. My oldest son had a full scholarship in bball and this was going to be his last year. He was majoring in Business. All of a sudden he decides he hates the school he hates Business he's tired of playing bball and he wants to drop out. He told me he has been playing sports all his life listening to coaches tell him what to do what he needs to do and now he wants to do something that is going to make him happy.

My husband and I were livid!!!!!!!! I didnt speak to him for 2 months. He wants to study music. We told him that you ned to look at something that you will be able to get a job. We told him to take out a student loan and get a job. He did find a full time job and he will start school in the Spring.

I never had that luxury and I would have loved to be able to get a full scholarship. Oh well.

NotRailMeat

I boomeranged a few times...

Out at 18 to join the Army.
Back in at 20 while going to college.
Out at 22 because I could afford to rent a place with a roommate.
Back in at 23 because said roommate quit paying rent and we go evicted.
Out at 23 when I found a new roommate.
Back in at 25 when yet another roommate quit paying rent.
Out at 25 when I got married. Never went back.

pawnstarNate

which time? lol I was 17 the first time...fresh out of high school...moved to the big city of Dallas. Came back a year later....lived with parents for 6 months...started college....stuggled....moved back in for 5 months.....got my act together....moved out again...stayed gone that time

Hunnergomeow

I moved out at 16, right before I started 12th grade. Moved in with an Aunt for the summer and had my own place by September when school started up again. It was meh. My mother & I didn't get along so it was a relief to be out of the house to be honest. It's been almost 7 years of not living at home that it doesn't even mean much to me anymore. At first it was different since I didn't have all the familiar things of home (mostly my cat) or access to a car any more, but it was worth it. Financially it wasn't too hard since I was one of those people who did nothing but study at school (my main expense that wasn't household was Tae Kwon Do class) so it's not like I was spending money or anything. Though it was a little overwhelming at points to do everything by myself.
I think it's good to "leave the nest". Some people can be so sheltered and have their parents do everything for them, and when they eventually move out it'll be hard for them (ex: I work with people who are in their late 20s/early 30s who's parents still do everything for them at home). I don't see anything wrong with family living together or anything, even extended family. Right now, for example, my boyfriend and I are living with his mum to save money.

TheSlorax

Great for you!!!! I want for my sons to experience this.

My husband and I have invested in our kids to give them all the resources they need to succeed in life. My oldest son had a full scholarship in bball and this was going to be his last year. He was majoring in Business. All of a sudden he decides he hates the school he hates Business he's tired of playing bball and he wants to drop out. He told me he has been playing sports all his life listening to coaches tell him what to do what he needs to do and now he wants to do something that is going to make him happy.

My husband and I were livid!!!!!!!! I didnt speak to him for 2 months. He wants to study music. We told him that you ned to look at something that you will be able to get a job. We told him to take out a student loan and get a job. He did find a full time job and he will start school in the Spring.

I never had that luxury and I would have loved to be able to get a full scholarship. Oh well.

wow, I would have loved that as well! I'm actually really impressed by how you handled it, a lot of parents just want their delicate flower children to go off into the world being special snowflakes, lol. I think young people read into too many of these "I was so suffocated by a 9-5 job that I quit and did something cool and now run a blog for money" type of things. That's only a small percentage of people who decide they don't like normal society, most of them go back to the working world with their tails between their legs after they can't make ends meet. Being very poor is more oppressive to me than getting up and going to work at a semi-boring job every day. I find joy in my hobbies and experiences outside of work, but unfortunately I am tied up in my obligation of being an adult for 8 hours, 5 days a week. That's how I look at it.

snazzyjazzy21

Went to uni at 18, lasted 3 months,a developed a ton of mental issues, came back home. Worked for a bit. Moved away, worked for 3 months, massive earthquake killed lots of people, lost my job, came home again.

Needless to say, home is way better.

CollieFit

I grew up in Germany and left home at 18 and moved to London.

Found myself a job and a house share. Spent many years travelling, eventually went to University and got a degree and a post-graduate degree (psychology). I had jobs throughout my degrees to manage financially.

I never went back to live at home nor did I ever borrow any money off my parents. Anything I needed to deal with I dealt with myself.

themonps3

18 and regreted it lol tomany bills to pay and to much house work and cooking lol

HealthWoke0ish

Started living "part-time" at home at 17 years old and then moved out permanently at 19. Never looked back. Put myself through college and law school. Those were some tough times but I'm proud of the struggle.

Prettymisssparkles

Moved out when I was 17.
Freeeeeeeedom! heh
Don't buy expensive furniture! Wait till you are much older!
It was easy for me because I was fallowing my heart. Moved away with my then fiancé. We have been married for 11 years now.
As far as the last question goes, I could see benefits from both sides so I can't really pick one versus the other. I think it just depends on the family dynamics...

mynameiscarrie

Great for you!!!! I want for my sons to experience this.

My husband and I have invested in our kids to give them all the resources they need to succeed in life. My oldest son had a full scholarship in bball and this was going to be his last year. He was majoring in Business. All of a sudden he decides he hates the school he hates Business he's tired of playing bball and he wants to drop out. He told me he has been playing sports all his life listening to coaches tell him what to do what he needs to do and now he wants to do something that is going to make him happy.

My husband and I were livid!!!!!!!! I didnt speak to him for 2 months. He wants to study music. We told him that you ned to look at something that you will be able to get a job. We told him to take out a student loan and get a job. He did find a full time job and he will start school in the Spring.

I never had that luxury and I would have loved to be able to get a full scholarship. Oh well.

You didn't speak to your son for 2 MONTHS because he decided to change his major? This may be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Saying you won't pay for it, I understand. I work in higher education and understand that it's expensive to go to school in the first place, much less change your major 3 years in. But you didn't speak to him because of that? That's not support at all. If a degree in music is what makes him happy, then good for him. At least he's getting a degree in it.

ktliu

15....long story

JDBLY11

In this day and age of soaring living expenses it can be a little hard to establish yourself outside of the nest. Even so I feel like a bit of a putz continuing to live at home at the age of 23 even if I'm paying my mom rent, giving her money need be and paying for groceries half the time. She doesn't want me to move out but I'm planning on heading on my own sometime in the next couple of years.

So when did you first move out?
What were your feelings regarding it? Freedom? Guilt?
If you could go back and tell yourself something upon first moving out, what would it be? Tips and tricks for example.
Was it easy? Was it hard?
What do you think of the culture around 'leaving the nest' vs 'communal living' (IE some families traditionally living together for generations) Is this a largely western phenomenon?
Etcetc.

1. When I was 21 or 22.
2. I was excited because I moved out after I got married to an apartment in Fort Worth, Texas. Soon after my husband and I conceived our son.
3. I would tell myself to learn to budget and have a financial plan.
4. It was easy. I had a lot of fun in Texas, though we did not live there long.
5. I plan on moving back onto my mom and dad's property when I save up enough money when I start the business venture I have planned. They have 14 acres and I cannot think of a place I enjoy more than my mom and dad's property. They let me pick it out before we moved there. I really miss my parents when I am far away. I probably would not care to live so close to my parents if I were not so close to them, they weren't so great, and my son did not need them. I never did well as a child with no family around, so I want my son to have a close relationship with family. It helps your children gain character. I am not planning on being a hick either. I want a nice house and a couple sheds/ buildings for my business and for an exercise room.

JUDDDing

17

Straight out of my dad's house into USAF basic training.

Best decision ever.

cwaters120

I was 17. The day after I graduated high school I left home for my own apartment. My parents and I didn't see eye to eye often :ohwell: Moving out was the best thing I could have done since we get along LOTS better It took busting my butt to stay out of home, though.

I LOVED being free from the "rule"! I worked two jobs and it was SO worth it. I became closer to my parents, gained breathing room I desperately needed (try sharing a small room with two sisters) and learned responsibility QUICK.

If I could go back and tell myself one thing it would be save ALL of your extra money. Renting is okay to start, but its like making someone else's mortgage payment. Being 17, on my own, and having extra money seemed like a dream at the time. I got myself whatever I wanted if I had the money and I would save, short term, for something I wanted if I couldn't afford it the moment I wanted it. Nothing was saved for my own home - something that, at 38, I regret NOW. I DO have my own home now, but it was a struggle to get there. If I had saved when I could save MORE, it would have been much easier.

Also, I lived so close to family all my childhood (literally, across the driveway away), that I NEEDED breathing room. It was important for me to figure out who I was, what I wanted, without family rules and expectations around.

milf_n_cookies

I was 16, it was hard but I made it and in the end it was.the best decision I have.ever.made.

TheSlorax

Great for you!!!! I want for my sons to experience this.

My husband and I have invested in our kids to give them all the resources they need to succeed in life. My oldest son had a full scholarship in bball and this was going to be his last year. He was majoring in Business. All of a sudden he decides he hates the school he hates Business he's tired of playing bball and he wants to drop out. He told me he has been playing sports all his life listening to coaches tell him what to do what he needs to do and now he wants to do something that is going to make him happy.

My husband and I were livid!!!!!!!! I didnt speak to him for 2 months. He wants to study music. We told him that you ned to look at something that you will be able to get a job. We told him to take out a student loan and get a job. He did find a full time job and he will start school in the Spring.

I never had that luxury and I would have loved to be able to get a full scholarship. Oh well.

You didn't speak to your son for 2 MONTHS because he decided to change his major? This may be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Saying you won't pay for it, I understand. I work in higher education and understand that it's expensive to go to school in the first place, much less change your major 3 years in. But you didn't speak to him because of that? That's not support at all. If a degree in music is what makes him happy, then good for him. At least he's getting a degree in it.

She didn't speak to him because the kid had everything handed to him on a silver platter and he left with ONE YEAR to go. Honestly, I get if you hate something, but just finish the degree and then go get another degree in music. At least with the business degree (which he would have gotten for FREE, with ZERO debt) he can support himself while he pursues music. I 100% agree with her for being upset with him.

kristina_m92

I was 19.

mynameiscarrie

Great for you!!!! I want for my sons to experience this.

My husband and I have invested in our kids to give them all the resources they need to succeed in life. My oldest son had a full scholarship in bball and this was going to be his last year. He was majoring in Business. All of a sudden he decides he hates the school he hates Business he's tired of playing bball and he wants to drop out. He told me he has been playing sports all his life listening to coaches tell him what to do what he needs to do and now he wants to do something that is going to make him happy.

My husband and I were livid!!!!!!!! I didnt speak to him for 2 months. He wants to study music. We told him that you ned to look at something that you will be able to get a job. We told him to take out a student loan and get a job. He did find a full time job and he will start school in the Spring.

I never had that luxury and I would have loved to be able to get a full scholarship. Oh well.

You didn't speak to your son for 2 MONTHS because he decided to change his major? This may be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Saying you won't pay for it, I understand. I work in higher education and understand that it's expensive to go to school in the first place, much less change your major 3 years in. But you didn't speak to him because of that? That's not support at all. If a degree in music is what makes him happy, then good for him. At least he's getting a degree in it.

She didn't speak to him because the kid had everything handed to him on a silver platter and he left with ONE YEAR to go. Honestly, I get if you hate something, but just finish the degree and then go get another degree in music. At least with the business degree (which he would have gotten for FREE, with ZERO debt) he can support himself while he pursues music. I 100% agree with her for being upset with him.

Did you know college students, on average, change their major 3 times? I understand not paying for the switch, which is something I stated previously, but to not speak to him for 2 months? That's ridiculous.

If you note her post, she says he got a scholarship for basketball. So that wasn't "handed to him on a silver platter" as you say. Scholarships take work. Keeping a scholarship for 3 years is hard. He's getting a degree in music. Not playing on street corners. He'll find a job. It just may not be the cushy business job his parents hoped for, but at least he'll be happy.

elledeery

I moved out when I was 24 (late but whatever), I can't say I have complaints because my parents are my landlords, I only pay heat/light and home phone as well as my cell phone bill and groceries, other than that I'm rent free. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but I was always super spoiled, mom and dad always took care of me very well, meals were always cooked, groceries bought, bills paid, laundry done right through high school. It's an adjustment but I caught on quick, my father tells me I've become a better cook than him and I absolutely love preparing a variety of new dishes and doing my own housework

summertime_girl

16

toothpastechica

The first time I moved out I was 17, the next time I was 22 (lived at home for the school year), the next time was 25 (Lived at home for 2 years) when I got married....hahaha

Life is expensive, and when I was a single student and my parents live closer to the school then I could afford to rent, it made sense to move back home (so I did that twice, paying a modest rent and still buying the bulk of my own groceries...paying my own phone bill....essentially being a renter for half price rather then living off my parents). But in those in between times I have lived in 3 countries without my parents. Biggest advice. Don't call home for bailouts...learn to manage your own money and life, make great friends in whatever community you find yourself in...you will never know when you unexpectedly miss being part of a family unit (assuming your moving out on your own).

mspoopoo

I moved out at 18; as soon as I could.

It was great! I was away from that evil soul sucking narcissistic witch of a mother.