Hubby is jealous!
Replies
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Just walk with the guy. It won't kill you to encourage him to get fit as well. Put in your headphones, and maybe buy him a nice pair as a gift so he can listen to music while he walks.
You're both more likely to stick to it if you get fit as a couple.0 -
Anytime I get jealous of a girl I usually try to be with her too. I am a firm believer in "keep your friends close and enemies closer"
You are clearly the enemy who is making him so jealous that he learned telepathy and found out that you like walking alone and having a "me time". He then used that information, expressed that you are awesome for losing weight and then started to walk your steps. Look at that evil genius for using your own weaknesses against you.
I suggest inventing something. Something that no one has ever done. It would be hard. But since the invention is my idea, I get to name it. I want you to name it "talking". Invent away.
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My partner jogs / walks while I run. We go to a small park with a walking path around it, maybe 800 yards around. I run laps in one direction, she walks in the other direction. We high five, exchange a few words each time we pass until our workout "together" is done. She loves to see how far she gets ach lap before I meet her etc... This works for us, may be worth a try?
That sounds fun!
Mine walks while I run away and then back to him, walk a few steps with him and run away again.. sortof like a dog :P I love that he goes out with me.0 -
Cut him loose so he can find a partner that will support his efforts?0
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mine too,0
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"my husband is jealous"
"he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
"he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
"I enjoy the time by myself"
"I don't want him there yakking away at me"
"without driving myself batty?"
Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.
this!
Congrats on your weight loss keep it up BUT how petty of you OP
I have no other input other than
this sounds utterly ridiculous!!
I get no inclination of Jealousy based on what you have said.
your husband WANTS to start bettering himself because he is encouraged by what you have accomplished and all you seem to think is "I wont get my quiet time"
Take a bath and read a book if you want quiet time. Or go on a second walk of the day to have that 'alone" time or like another said get some ear phones for you both. Would it hurt you to slow your pace enough that he can just barely keep up then you will at some point be at the same level??
If he starts then ends up quitting like you seem to think he will then so be it.
YOU don't be the one to discourage him from trying to be healthy even its just because he wants to walk with you or jealousy.
I'd give anything to have my husband WANT to exercise with me. To be so jealous of me getting fit that he started getting fit too.
And another mentioned, couples ARE healthy when they do it together rather than separate.
How would you feel if the situation were reversed and these were his feelings instead of yours?? I know i would be heartbroken to hear this.
I could go at this all day so i need to get off my soap box.0 -
I just realized that the OP is sabotaging her husband for some alone time...
this.
My bf wanted to start running with me. I was ELATED.0 -
Normally I am not one to agree with everyone but today I agree with every post on here some could have been worded a little nicer but the point is what I agreed with. Before I shed out too much advice I want to say congrats on your weight loss and determination! It is an awesome success.
1. I don't see where you husband is jealous... unless he is jealous of the alone time you are getting through your walks
2. I agree that time to yourself is extremely vital. Exercise for many is about self-determination, conquering a goal with the only competition being yourself, and obtaining that goal knowing YOU were the one who got yourself there. I have alone time exercising and don’t plan on sharing that time.
3. Find something physical you can do together... walks are nice in the evening after dinner and it will give him time to talk to you and ask about your day... maybe find a different topic each night to talk about on a walk (keep it light conversation, not politics that might upset the walk)... you might be surprised what you learn about each other and yourself. If it isn't an after dinner walk try making every Saturday morning your together walk.
4. Sounds like your husband actually wants to be involved in your journey – that is why we get married so that the journey whether it is fitness or life in general isn’t spent 100% alone.... he is probably proud of you and wants to find a way to be a part of the pride. OR…he wants to be physically healthy but feels he can't do it alone and without saying that he needs you he is just trying to join you.... whether or not guys admit it they seem to like to do these types of activities with people. I very rarely see a guy at the gym alone, but I see women alone frequently.
Here are my tips and what my husband and I do to get alone and together time.
#1. I have a gym membership: so with that I attend the gym 6 days a week where cardio and weights are a part of my routine. I have 3 classes a week where I spend time with mostly women and we bond through fitness and the other 3 days I work out alone. 1 class a week my husband joins me so that we may be active together. Plus it a guy style class so he feels comfortable going because other buddies of his go too making it a fun thing to do with friends and my husband.
#2. My husband and his cousin work out 5 days a week together. Which gives him guy time. My gym time and his gym time are at the same time of day but in different places so that we still spend the same hours at home together with our kids.
#3. Every night until the weather makes it impossible. We take our kids on a bike ride for no less than 1 hour. Our rides include getting off and throwing rocks into the river, looking for different bugs (I have boys), and when I am lucky one of them will pick me a flower.
#4. Every Sunday is date time with my hubby so no matter what we have a date... just this Sunday we had a date in the back yard and did 20 minutes of stretching together while our boys played on the swing set. The week before him and I went a late night slow walk around the block a couple times.
#5. My tips:
Don't ever ever isolate your man.... Don't let him feel or even think for a second that you don't need or want him I'm sure you wouldn't like if he did that to you. He may not be 100% ready to commit to a lifestyle change but he will never commit if you put him in the category of incapable, unwilling, and uncommitted.
Try to believe that your husband is not jealous, but more intrigued by your new physique and wants to see your Booty bounce while you walk, and be the guy to say that’s my lady.---guys say look don't matter and they don't...but when they can see that hourglass shape coming back they can't help but notice.
Whether you like it or not.... a husband who Yaks a lot is better than one who doesn't say anything at all. He is obviously interested in you still so don't push him away or make him feel that you are not interested in him.
When My husband first starting working out with me at my class I found it as an opportunity to teach him what we do, show him what I am capable of, and then once he was acclimated to the class we started a friendly competition together related around the class. i.e.: who could do more 50 side to side crunches in 1 minute. Now we reward each other with prizes when we win. Last night I won a backrub because in class I did more box jumps.
Anyhow that was way longer than I was going to write but I hope you read it. I just thought you needed more… I assumed that you are new to the game of fitness just by reading your post. If you need support or a new pal you may add me.
Hannah0 -
"my husband is jealous"
"he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
"he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
"I enjoy the time by myself"
"I don't want him there yakking away at me"
"without driving myself batty?"
Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.
Truth. If I was him I'd be glad she didn't want my company.0 -
Normally I am not one to agree with everyone but today I agree with every post on here some could have been worded a little nicer but the point is what I agreed with. Before I shed out too much advice I want to say congrats on your weight loss and determination! It is an awesome success.
1. I don't see where you husband is jealous... unless he is jealous of the alone time you are getting through your walks
2. I agree that time to yourself is extremely vital. Exercise for many is about self-determination, conquering a goal with the only competition being yourself, and obtaining that goal knowing YOU were the one who got yourself there. I have alone time exercising and don’t plan on sharing that time.
3. Find something physical you can do together... walks are nice in the evening after dinner and it will give him time to talk to you and ask about your day... maybe find a different topic each night to talk about on a walk (keep it light conversation, not politics that might upset the walk)... you might be surprised what you learn about each other and yourself. If it isn't an after dinner walk try making every Saturday morning your together walk.
4. Sounds like your husband actually wants to be involved in your journey – that is why we get married so that the journey whether it is fitness or life in general isn’t spent 100% alone.... he is probably proud of you and wants to find a way to be a part of the pride. OR…he wants to be physically healthy but feels he can't do it alone and without saying that he needs you he is just trying to join you.... whether or not guys admit it they seem to like to do these types of activities with people. I very rarely see a guy at the gym alone, but I see women alone frequently.
Here are my tips and what my husband and I do to get alone and together time.
#1. I have a gym membership: so with that I attend the gym 6 days a week where cardio and weights are a part of my routine. I have 3 classes a week where I spend time with mostly women and we bond through fitness and the other 3 days I work out alone. 1 class a week my husband joins me so that we may be active together. Plus it a guy style class so he feels comfortable going because other buddies of his go too making it a fun thing to do with friends and my husband.
#2. My husband and his cousin work out 5 days a week together. Which gives him guy time. My gym time and his gym time are at the same time of day but in different places so that we still spend the same hours at home together with our kids.
#3. Every night until the weather makes it impossible. We take our kids on a bike ride for no less than 1 hour. Our rides include getting off and throwing rocks into the river, looking for different bugs (I have boys), and when I am lucky one of them will pick me a flower.
#4. Every Sunday is date time with my hubby so no matter what we have a date... just this Sunday we had a date in the back yard and did 20 minutes of stretching together while our boys played on the swing set. The week before him and I went a late night slow walk around the block a couple times.
#5. My tips:
Don't ever ever isolate your man.... Don't let him feel or even think for a second that you don't need or want him I'm sure you wouldn't like if he did that to you. He may not be 100% ready to commit to a lifestyle change but he will never commit if you put him in the category of incapable, unwilling, and uncommitted.
Try to believe that your husband is not jealous, but more intrigued by your new physique and wants to see your Booty bounce while you walk, and be the guy to say that’s my lady.---guys say look don't matter and they don't...but when they can see that hourglass shape coming back they can't help but notice.
Whether you like it or not.... a husband who Yaks a lot is better than one who doesn't say anything at all. He is obviously interested in you still so don't push him away or make him feel that you are not interested in him.
When My husband first starting working out with me at my class I found it as an opportunity to teach him what we do, show him what I am capable of, and then once he was acclimated to the class we started a friendly competition together related around the class. i.e.: who could do more 50 side to side crunches in 1 minute. Now we reward each other with prizes when we win. Last night I won a backrub because in class I did more box jumps.
Anyhow that was way longer than I was going to write but I hope you read it. I just thought you needed more… I assumed that you are new to the game of fitness just by reading your post. If you need support or a new pal you may add me.
Hannah
^^ A beautiful, wise post.
My husband I used to walk together in a beautiful area all the time. Sometimes he drove me crazy because he would talk nonstop. I never told him to stop talking because he had incurable cancer and I knew one day I would never hear him again. Now that he's gone, I would give anything to hear his voice again.
Your husband doesn't sound jealous. Find something you can do together and let him be part of this new chapter in your life. Be friends.0 -
I wish my OH would show an interest in coming on walks with me!
I know I would have to go slower, but who cares it would mean she is starting down the path to getting healthy too!0 -
I don't get the jealously thing, sorry, jealous of your time alone? :indifferent:
Please, just walk with the guy. He either will get into it and quickly catch up to your pace or he won't like it and he will quit. If he talks too much, oh well, there are other ways to find alone time that don't involve discouraging your husband's first little bit of interest in getting fit.
Think of the amazing sex you can be having after you both improve your cardio.
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"my husband is jealous"
"he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
"he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
"I enjoy the time by myself"
"I don't want him there yakking away at me"
"without driving myself batty?"
Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.
I can see why everyone is piling on the OP by the way her post was phrased. Still, I have to wonder how long she has been married (and if and how long some of you have been married).
You're right, there weren't many positives but I did find a few (granted they are mostly "I" statements but getting fit, after-all, requires one to be a little selfish (IMO).
"I have been working hard since the beginning of the year",
"So far since June I have lost 14 pounds (Go me!)"
"I enjoy the time by myself"
"I am thankful that he is supportive and does not try to sabotage my efforts"
"Any suggestions on how to help him get more fit..."
and a few interpretations of some of the negatives you pointed out:
"my husband is jealous" (something one might say tongue in cheek after a few decades of marriage)
"he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change" (maybe this is true???)
"he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace" (maybe this is true as well???)
"I enjoy the time by myself" (It's not wrong to enjoy time by yourself, we don't know a thing about these people).
"I don't want him there yakking away at me" (ehh... so I don't have all the answers)
"without driving myself batty?" (I love my wife but there are times!!!)
Can we at least give her the benefit of the doubt and let her rephrase (from someone who has very often put their foot in their mouth up to their hip!)
OP: Embrace your new found fitness and health. You have obviously inspired your husband. Celebrate with him and find a way to be healthy together!
Good Luck.0 -
How about adding a one mile leisurely walk after dinner with him? You can burn a few more calories, encourage him, have together time and preserve your mornings for yourself.
This one.
I like this idea. It's funny how much other responders have read into the post. Quite eye-opening, really!0 -
How about adding a one mile leisurely walk after dinner with him? You can burn a few more calories, encourage him, have together time and preserve your mornings for yourself.
This one.
I like this idea. It's funny how much other responders have read into the post. Quite eye-opening, really!
No one "read into" anything. You flat out said it all in your OP0 -
"my husband is jealous"
"he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change"
"he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace"
"I enjoy the time by myself"
"I don't want him there yakking away at me"
"without driving myself batty?"
Is there anything positive about your husband? Or is it all negative. I'm surprised he even wants to walk with you.
I can see why everyone is piling on the OP by the way her post was phrased. Still, I have to wonder how long she has been married (and if and how long some of you have been married).
You're right, there weren't many positives but I did find a few (granted they are mostly "I" statements but getting fit, after-all, requires one to be a little selfish (IMO).
"I have been working hard since the beginning of the year",
"So far since June I have lost 14 pounds (Go me!)"
"I enjoy the time by myself"
"I am thankful that he is supportive and does not try to sabotage my efforts"
"Any suggestions on how to help him get more fit..."
and a few interpretations of some of the negatives you pointed out:
"my husband is jealous" (something one might say tongue in cheek after a few decades of marriage)
"he's not ready to commit to a lifestyle change" (maybe this is true???)
"he is not strong enough to keep up at my pace" (maybe this is true as well???)
"I enjoy the time by myself" (It's not wrong to enjoy time by yourself, we don't know a thing about these people).
"I don't want him there yakking away at me" (ehh... so I don't have all the answers)
"without driving myself batty?" (I love my wife but there are times!!!)
Can we at least give her the benefit of the doubt and let her rephrase (from someone who has very often put their foot in their mouth up to their hip!)
OP: Embrace your new found fitness and health. You have obviously inspired your husband. Celebrate with him and find a way to be healthy together!
Good Luck.
Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt.
I have been married 25 years, most of them happily :-) I think having an extra time with him would work best (more steps). I am okay with being selfish with my exercise time because I give to everyone in the family and I want to preserve the time in the morning which has been so helpful in prepping for my day. If I am depleted, then there is nothing left to give.
Some will complain that I am using too many "I" statements, but frankly I don't know how to write about myself without that pronoun.0 -
My partner jogs / walks while I run. We go to a small park with a walking path around it, maybe 800 yards around. I run laps in one direction, she walks in the other direction. We high five, exchange a few words each time we pass until our workout "together" is done. She loves to see how far she gets ach lap before I meet her etc... This works for us, may be worth a try?
I love this idea!! Thank you!0 -
Im terribly out of shape and i make my husband do couch25k with and it drives him crazy because he has to go so slow to keep up with me. But he does it and id do it for because i love him. Id be heart broken if he refused to go with me. Go for a walk with your husband for crying out loud!0
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Im.sure you didnt mean for it to come across the way it did .bet your regretti.g posti.g .people share there views. Sometimes its not positive .....0
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How about adding a one mile leisurely walk after dinner with him? You can burn a few more calories, encourage him, have together time and preserve your mornings for yourself.
This one.
I like this idea. It's funny how much other responders have read into the post. Quite eye-opening, really!
No one "read into" anything. You flat out said it all in your OP
You keep gunning for the OP. Did this strike a nerve with how a lady in your life is treating you?0 -
Wow. When I first started trying to get back into shape and lose weight my husband invited me to run with him. He's in good shape and comfortably runs 8-9 min miles. He "ran" at my pitiful pace when I started of about 12 1/2 minute miles. I know now since I'm faster how hard it is to run several miles so much slower than your normal pace. He never complained or made me feel bad. He cheered me on and he's really one of the biggest reasons I was able to reach my goals. Your post made me reflect on how very lucky I am to have a spouse who supports me unfailingly and prioritizes my health right along with his. I wish everyone had that.0
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