Calling into Work "Too Fat for Pants"
moelman13
Posts: 21 Member
I've gotten to the point where not even my fat-pants fit as far as business casual goes. I've had to resort to two pair of nice jeans that fit. Today and tomorrow we have some big-deal execs coming through and were told to make sure we were dressed appropriately. Also, I was supposed to be at an exhibit to talk about one of our programs.
I couldn't do it... My dress pants wouldn't button. Also, I was anxious that the shirt they would provide me for the exhibit would be too small... So I called in sick.
I feel totally guilty now about everything: calling in, letting down teammates, but most of all for being so fat.
Has anyone else been here? I've got to keep from getting MORE depressed and buying a milkshake to make myself feel better. It's a terrible cycle...
Eric
I couldn't do it... My dress pants wouldn't button. Also, I was anxious that the shirt they would provide me for the exhibit would be too small... So I called in sick.
I feel totally guilty now about everything: calling in, letting down teammates, but most of all for being so fat.
Has anyone else been here? I've got to keep from getting MORE depressed and buying a milkshake to make myself feel better. It's a terrible cycle...
Eric
6
Replies
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I'm sorry that you are having a bad day but screw work. If calling in sick is what you needed today try not to feel guilty about it. I'm sure that you are important there but that they will also be fine without you. And you are sick, sick with anxiety. It doesn't matter what was causing your anxiety. Call it a mental health day and keep in mind that your mind's well being is just as important as your body's.16
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I understand where you're coming from. It sucks to be low on clothing options because of size/weight. Been there. Don't beat yourself up about it, though; as you said yourself, it won't do you any good. If you're here with a goal of losing weight, use your feelings as motivation to start counting calories today! And if you've already started, just keep on keepin' on. You WILL make progress and will eventually leave those pounds in the dust.8
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Also, I agree with this post:I'm sorry that you are having a bad day but screw work. If calling in sick is what you needed today try not to feel guilty about it. I'm sure that you are important there but that they will also be fine without you. And you are sick, sick with anxiety. It doesn't matter what was causing your anxiety. Call it a mental health day and keep in mind that your mind's well being is just as important as your body's.
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Agreed. Hopefully your employer won't judge you too harshly for it. I think not fitting in dress clothes was one of the things that finally drove me to lose weight. I was needing 3x everything and was lucky if I could find 2x most of the time without driving somewhere to a big and tall shop. We are only allowed jeans on Fridays, otherwise it's shirts/ties/slacks in the winter and polo's and slacks in the summer. On my journey to lose weight I had to replace my entire wardrobe 3x in the first year and a half. It was expensive as hell! But, I now can wear size Large, and in some cases size Medium in T-Shirts (depending on the shirt). Keep up your journey, let this kind of stuff drive you!6
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Use this. Sorry but I don't believe in screw work, and apparently you don't either. Guilt is underrated. Guilt can be an appropriate response in correct proportion and with an expiration date.
Want to make constructive use of your day? Research and plan your weight loss. It will feel better than a milkshake.
Calculate a modest calorie deficit and figure out how you will get enough eating satisfaction within your number. Start a food diary, start it right now.
Don't worry about the numbers just yet. Just start listing everything that you eat or drink that has calories.
But before you do any of that, go look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you're living the way you want to live. We only get one life. Is this how you want yours to go?
If work is driving you crazy a day off can be good. But that's not what has happened. Don't hide. A job in our society is a building block of mental health. Do you want to surrender this ground because of your weight? Doesn't sound like it. Fight back.
Think about how you're going to solve the clothes issue near term. No crash diets. Work at weight loss like your life is at stake. That's how you sound to me.
Been here? 285lbs, a CPAP, HBP, debilitating back pain, a seemingly permanent cough. One day I realized I was on the verge of being a prisoner in my own body. Today's WI, 175lbs. It's doable and you can.33 -
I hope you're able to turn this experience around into something positive - motivation to lose weight and feel better about yourself. I know some people are (seemingly, at least to my perception) ok with being overweight. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin and frankly a mess when I get over a certain weight. Clothes don't fit properly, I avoid looking in mirrors, and duck out of pictures.
You're in the right place to make it happen!8 -
Use this. Sorry but I don't believe in screw work, and apparently you don't either. Guilt is underrated. Guilt can be an appropriate response in correct proportion and with an expiration date.
Want to make constructive use of your day? Research and plan your weight loss. It will feel better than a milkshake.
Calculate a modest calorie deficit and figure out how you will get enough eating satisfaction within your number. Start a food diary, start it right now.
Don't worry about the numbers just yet. Just start listing everything that you eat or drink that has calories.
But before you do any of that, go look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you're living the way you want to live. We only get one life. Is this how you want yours to go?
If work is driving you crazy a day off can be good. But that's not what has happened. Don't hide. A job in our society is a building block of mental health. Do you want to surrender this ground because of your weight? Doesn't sound like it. Fight back.
Think about how you're going to solve the clothes issue near term. No crash diets. Work at weight loss like your life is at stake. That's how you sound to me.
Been here? 285lbs, a CPAP, HBP, debilitating back pain, a seemingly permanent cough. One day I realized I was on the verge of being a prisoner in my own body. Today's WI, 175lbs. It's doable and you can.
This is good advice. Use the day off constructively. Go through your clothes and find out what fits and what is to small and then determine to start on the journey to better health through losing weight. I started with 22 pairs of pants that were too small and now 50+ pounds later they fit or are gone because they are too big. Yes I get rid of too big stuff as I want to have the mindset of not going back. Find an activity that you like to do and do it today if only a walk around the block or a bike ride around the parking lot. Find supportive friends and an accountability partner. Work to develop a mindset of doing something positive each day toward your goal. I also find that if I prepare my lunches for the week ahead of time it makes it easier to eat right. A Salad and a bag of veggies for each day and fruit and other good choices also makes the mornings go much quicker when you can grab and go.6 -
I've gotten to the point where not even my fat-pants fit as far as business casual goes. I've had to resort to two pair of nice jeans that fit. Today and tomorrow we have some big-deal execs coming through and were told to make sure we were dressed appropriately. Also, I was supposed to be at an exhibit to talk about one of our programs.
I couldn't do it... My dress pants wouldn't button. Also, I was anxious that the shirt they would provide me for the exhibit would be too small... So I called in sick.
I feel totally guilty now about everything: calling in, letting down teammates, but most of all for being so fat.
Has anyone else been here? I've got to keep from getting MORE depressed and buying a milkshake to make myself feel better. It's a terrible cycle...
Eric
One night I was going out for a special evening with my family. I was dressed semi nice and of course spilled on my clothes just before we had to leave. I had almost no nice clothes that fit so I had to go out looking not so good. It kind of sucked the joy out of the evening and my confidence was pretty low. It was one of the incidents that helped push me to seriously counting calories and managing my weight.
A milkshake won't fix things long term. Don't use food to try to make yourself feel better. Develop new tools for coping with emotions if that is something you always do.
Get some clothes that fit you now. It can make a difference in how you feel while you are losing. Check thrift stores or ebay for some lower cost wardrobe pieces.
Start managing your weight today. I assume since you are here that you have gotten a calorie goal from My Fitness Pal. Log everything you consume and start making changes. It will take time but you can lose weight.
Don't waste time beating yourself up. Make changes.
8 -
Use this. Sorry but I don't believe in screw work, and apparently you don't either. Guilt is underrated. Guilt can be an appropriate
response in correct proportion and with an expiration date.
Want to make constructive use of your day? Research and plan your weight loss. It will feel better than a milkshake.
Calculate a modest calorie deficit and figure out how you will get enough eating satisfaction within your number. Start a food diary, start it right now.
Don't worry about the numbers just yet. Just start listing everything that you eat or drink that has calories.
But before you do any of that, go look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you're living the way you want to live. We only get one life. Is this how you want yours to go?
If work is driving you crazy a day off can be good. But that's not what has happened. Don't hide. A job in our society is a building block of mental health. Do you want to surrender this ground because of your weight? Doesn't sound like it. Fight back.
Think about how you're going to solve the clothes issue near term. No crash diets. Work at weight loss like your life is at stake. That's how you sound to me.
Been here? 285lbs, a CPAP, HBP, debilitating back pain, a seemingly permanent cough. One day I realized I was on the verge of being a prisoner in my own body. Today's WI, 175lbs. It's doable and you can.
This!!
I didn’t lose my 130 lbs by drowning my sorrows in milkshakes.. I felt the guilt, I couldn’t do things others could.. I had guilt.. I had pain... I channeled it into the NEED to get up and get active every day. Even if you’re watching tv, Move for half an hour to start.. don’t bury the guilt.. let it be your fuel!11 -
I’ve been there, just about my entire adult life.3
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I can relate. Even my fat clothes don’t fit....I change about 5 times every morning to find something that doesn’t make me look like a stuffed sausage. If only I owned a moo-moo! I just want to throw a blanket around my body and belt it! I totally hate myself right now. I guess I have to look at this like “baby steps” and not expect the weight to come off overnight. I’m gonna do this and SO CAN YOU!!!!6
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Hope you didn't drink the milkshake . . . sounds like you have an important job and nothing will strike a blow to your self-esteem like compromising it. This time caught you off-guard. But I hope you used the time to find at least one good suit and a couple of shirts that you can wear when called upon to make a presentation. I know funds are tight for everyone right now, but make this a priority. If you live in a large town there are lots of quality used clothing stores. I can't afford business attire these days (retired and no need for it). A lot of times you can find something quality on e-Bay. Just be careful about the sizes -- If I needed nice business wear, I could find plenty of things that are maybe 10 years old in classic lines and colors. If you prefer a certain brand, you can check by brand. And when my sister buys work clothes for her husband, she shops at a nice store, finds what she wants, waits for the sale and makes sure it's still there -- then when it reaches what she considers the bottom price, she will go in for the kill!! Nothing thrills her more than getting quality for a bargain.1
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Thank you all for your replies. No milkshake here, or anywhere in the near future. It's on!32
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good for you!
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You got this! We all struggle sometimes!3
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sometimes we all need a mental health day no matter what the cause! you avoided the milkshake, good job. hopefully you took a little time for yourself and then started coming up with a plan of attack5
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I worked with someone who quit because they had to lose weight. It wasn't a joke either.0
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I am glad you posted this...and I am happy to see most related to your anxiety and supported you. This is a good place to start.2
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I was recruited for a job, did 3 interviews via phone & Skype for the position, got offered the job on the spot by the 3rd interviewer. Got all my clearances done, thought I had passed my medical exam. Then I was told I couldn't start until I lost 51 pounds. Nothing to do with my ability to actually perform the tasks of the job, simply a number on a scale! I was so frustrated, I have been doing this stuff for 20 years, I am in better cardiovascular condition than half the people in the industry, but because of where the job located I have to meet a higher standard, and in this case an outdated standard. But I want to lose the weight, the company has held the position for me for 5 months so far and been very supportive. It took me some time to realize I was angry about the wrong things or at least at the wrong people. They want me on their team, just like I am sure your company wants you on their team. Take the steps to fit into those "fancy pants" (ironically what I call my chemically ruined pants) and get back to being the great presenter/coworker you know you can be!4
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Totally relate. I went to Salvation Army and Goodwill to buy some inexpensive fat clothes that would look presentable while I lost weight. Never got caught off-guard again.3
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How are you doing?1
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Thank you all for your replies. No milkshake here, or anywhere in the near future. It's on!
Yay! Good for you! How are you today after the weekend?
I echo the suggestions for shopping at thrift stores for work clothes. 90% of my work clothes are from Goodwill simply because I don't like spending money on them. Especially if you're looking for business-casual. Most things you find at second-hand stores are in great condition. People don't wear their work clothes to shreds and donate them... I think most things I find are surrendered due to fit issues (previous owner lost or gained weight... I find stuff with tags from the original stores all the time).
It helps my office has no shame in it either. We come in after Goodwill sprees and say "LOOK WHAT I GOT AT GOODWILL!! $6 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?" lol3 -
Just dropped in to give you a hug. <hug>
Hope you've gotten a couple of nice outfits that fit well, and make it a point to shrink out of them.
Size 24 to size 10 here.4 -
This is what got me started two years and 80# ago — my pants were too tight. If I can do it, you can do it!3
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I know where you're coming from; I've gone up 4 dress sizes in the last 3 years. I've got to the point that my work shirts barely fit; and after suffering a miscarriage in July - People are still asking me when I'm due because I've gained so much weight and look 30+ weeks pregnant.
It's so embarrassing; and even worse when people make comments on it! I don't want people to lie to me and say I'm not overweight - but I wish people would be more tactful about it!
I often get so down about it that I binge eat which just makes it worse!
I hope you are doing better!2 -
RLBansonNoond1990 wrote: »I know where you're coming from; I've gone up 4 dress sizes in the last 3 years. I've got to the point that my work shirts barely fit; and after suffering a miscarriage in July - People are still asking me when I'm due because I've gained so much weight and look 30+ weeks pregnant.
It's so embarrassing; and even worse when people make comments on it! I don't want people to lie to me and say I'm not overweight - but I wish people would be more tactful about it!
I often get so down about it that I binge eat which just makes it worse!
I hope you are doing better!
We can do it! Thanks for your support!0 -
This is so understandable, as you can tell from the replies! We've all been there in some fashion or another. It sounds like you needed that break to get back on track, so good for you for taking care of yourself. I'm glad you didn't get the milkshake. You can totally do this. Baby steps. I'm sure you're already doing this, but breaking weight loss down into mini goals can be very helpful, as can logging diligently in a food diary daily. You can do it!1
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Thanks, and yes I think the baby steps is key. I changed my goal from -100 (where I need to be) to -20, and already feel more motivated and happy with my progress! 3
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