Nervous about pregnancy/the baby belly

girlalmighty08

I know it seems really superficial, but I'm planning a pregnancy in 2018 (my first) and I've been having a lot of stress lately about what my baby bump will look like. I've been up and down with my weight for years and struggle a bit with self-image. I know that weight gain with pregnancy is inevitable, but the mental battle that's going to come with seeing the scale go up again is kind of stressing me out. Furthermore, I'm also nervous about what it will look like... I'm worried I'm just going to look overweight and not have that nice little bump you see so often.

I know that the only thing that really matters is that my baby is healthy, but I can't help but think about this little detail. Anyone else have the same worry?

aekellund

I have had this fear as well, although I’m not planning a pregnancy any time soon. I think it is normal to have these worries! You are totally right - the baby’s health and your health are most important!

midlomel1971

When you get pregnant, that will be the least of your worries. And there will be a lot of worries.

MostlyWater

Plenty of people - even smart people - think they can eat for two. The old saying is, if you eat for two, you'll end up looking like three. Really. You don't have a to gain a hundred lbs to have a healthy baby. Sure, some women can gain all that weight and then lose it, even with a newborn in the house. But most don't.

I gained 19.5 with my first and 21.5 with my 2nd. I had normal sized babies. But I could not lose the last 5 lbs from each pregnancy. And if someone gains 50 or 80 lbs? And if you have more than one pregnancy? You need several hundred more calories a day during pregnancy, that's true. But you don't need to eat double. Just keep that in mind.

Maybe it's superficial, and yes, all of us age and change. But it doesn't have to be because you gained unnecessarily.

kit_katty

I completely understand, I'm trying now and worry...

tulips_and_tea

MostlyWater wrote: »

Plenty of people - even smart people - think they can eat for two. The old saying is, if you eat for two, you'll end up looking like three. Really. You don't have a to gain a hundred lbs to have a healthy baby. Sure, some women can gain all that weight and then lose it, even with a newborn in the house. But most don't.

I gained 19.5 with my first and 21.5 with my 2nd. I had normal sized babies. But I could not lose the last 5 lbs from each pregnancy. And if someone gains 50 or 80 lbs? And if you have more than one pregnancy? You need several hundred more calories a day during pregnancy, that's true. But you don't need to eat double. Just keep that in mind.

Maybe it's superficial, and yes, all of us age and change. But it doesn't have to be because you gained unnecessarily.

This, 100%! The old "eating for two" thing is just an excuse. You have to take care of your body while pregnant just as you do when not pregnant. I gained less than 20 lbs with each of my pregnancies as well. No stretch marks, no loose skin.

However, EVERYONE is different and no matter what you plan for, each pregnancy is different and impossible to predict. Enjoy the process, take care of yourself and your baby!

pinuplove

girlalmighty08 wrote: »

I know it seems really superficial, but I'm planning a pregnancy in 2018 (my first) and I've been having a lot of stress lately about what my baby bump will look like. I've been up and down with my weight for years and struggle a bit with self-image. I know that weight gain with pregnancy is inevitable, but the mental battle that's going to come with seeing the scale go up again is kind of stressing me out. Furthermore, I'm also nervous about what it will look like... I'm worried I'm just going to look overweight and not have that nice little bump you see so often.

I know that the only thing that really matters is that my baby is healthy, but I can't help but think about this little detail. Anyone else have the same worry?

Beyond not going crazy and gaining ridiculous amounts of weight, there is very little you can do to control how you carry your baby or where/when/how you show. I'd urge you to discuss your concerns about weight gain with your doctor prior to becoming pregnant, or shortly thereafter. Some weight gain is necessary and healthy for the vast majority of women (particularly if you are at or near a healthy weight before becoming pregnant.)

I'll be honest - I looked fat through probably the middle of my second trimester, and never popped out with a nice lil basketball belly. My babies were still pretty cute though!

Pregnancy and motherhood is a wild ride. Do your best to relax and not stress over the things you can't change, because you will have plenty else to worry about.

Arizona_C

As you, I was pretty self concious about my pregnancies. I planned to eat in reasonable amounts and gain only the recommanded weight, etc. In reality, I put on lots of weight during my three pregnancies, between 40 and 55 lbs for each.

I felt really unconfortable about it, and I never experienced that neat little baby bump. I just got really chubby, with extra roundness of the stomach in the last couple of month. It was hard work getting around, being heavy and short of breath. Reality was way rougher than in the magazines.

Becoming a mother is so overwhelming in all kinds of way than the bodyshape ends up being of less importance than imagined beforehand. Going to the gym and let the father take over is a great way to get a bit of a break when the baby is small.

I hope you will enjoy your preganacy! Don't bother too much with weight gain and appearance, its actually quite easy to lose extra weight afterwards. Focus of your well being, and the one of your baby

DebLaBounty

Maybe I'm a weirdo, but as I gained weight during my pregnancy I really just enjoyed looking at my stomach and I was amazed that my body could expand to accommodate a human being in there. Nobody ever accosted me to accuse me of looking ugly or fat. A friend loaned me her cute maternity wear and despite the discomfort toward that last month, I kind of reveled in the body transformation. Embrace it.

magicaldryope

It’s easy to freak about the scale but try to remember that not all of that extra weight is fat — your body undergoes a transformation, and as your uterus stretches and your blood supply increases and you grow a placenta those things cause you to gain weight. You WILL lose that weight post partum as your body returns to normal functioning, so try not to stress too much about it.

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busyPK

It's a normal fear/thought to have so know you are not alone. I'm a mom to three and was overweight before each pregnancy and honestly, I felt great about my body when I was in my 3rd trimester with each baby. You get the feel them move so cherish those moments. You will have enough worry over other things when you're pregnant so just enjoy the ride.

LZMiner

I definitely ate for two with my first pregnancy and gained 60 pounds! Everyone said I was having a big baby and guess what? She was only 7'7"! So....talk with your doctor. They can explain what a healthy calorie increase should be. I gained 38 with my second, and she was 8'5"!

Lounmoun

Talk to your doctor about normal pregnancy weight gain. I think 20-30 lbs is pretty normal gain depending on where you start from. Talk to a therapist about your mixed feelings and body issues.
It is hard to say how you will look pregnant- and if you will care by the time you get big enough to really show that belly.
Pregnancy changes your body. It isn't bad. You will be pregnant not overweight. I think people are more inclined to think a woman with a big belly is pregnant rather than overweight if you are not big all over.

I felt weird initially about gaining weight with my pregnancy. My pregnant belly wasn't really noticeable to others until around 6 months though. By 9 months I didn't care what I looked like. I just wanted to be comfortable.
When I am overweight I carry a lot of weight in the belly area but I don't think it looks exactly the same as when I was pregnant. It is hard to explain how a baby belly shape looked different than a fat belly on me. It just did.

ilfaith

While obviously you can control weight gain during pregnancy, sometimes I think he body is going to do what it is going to do. With my first baby, I ate healthily, but did little exercise aside from walking and a prenatal yoga class. I'd previously suffered a miscarriage and was extra cautious about physical exertion. My second pregnancy, I had a number of food aversions, and was busy chasing a toddler around. Third time out, I was much more active, aside from caring for a toddler and preschooler, I took Zumba and Pilates classes several times a week up until the very end. Despite the differences in diet and exercise, I gained the same amount...27 pounds...all three times. And got back to my pre-pregnancy weight in 3-4 months. I credit breastfeeding (I swore I would nurse my kids until they left for college if it meant I could eat ice cream every day)...but I also know moms who held on to the last few pounds until they weaned their little ones. Everybody (and every body) is different.

As for fear of the baby belly, you will most likely be so captivated by every kick and flutter...not to mention the feet and elbows you see trying to poke though your skin, that you will come to love it.

maryannprt

You have absolutely no control over what your baby bump will look like. I gained right around 30 lbs (recommended weight gain by my doctor) each time. I was ENORMOUS, belly stuck straight out and I had to switch to maternity clothes at about 3 months. One friend gained nearly 60 lbs and didn't have a bump at all until she was 8 months pregnant. She wore her regular clothes almost her entire pregnancy. This is one of many things you're just going to have to relinquish control over during pregnancy. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry too much about those things you can't control and focus on enjoying the process. You'll be making a baby, a whole new human being. How exciting is that?

kb1927

I'm on my fifth pregnancy, and I pretty much just looked chubby (I am to begin with, my weight has gone up and down with pregnancies over the years; I'm here to control weight gain and get back on track once I deliver in February) from the time I walked out of the bedroom I am one of those people who puffs up with fluids, gains 40-50 pounds during pregnancy no matter what I eat, leaves the hospital ten pounds heavier than that, and then loses all of it in 2 weeks. (I basically feel like I can fly as the water weight comes off.) The first 6 months of breastfeeding knocks off another 20 pounds. (And then I wean without changing my diet, and I gain back a ton of weight. Hoping to focus on that this time around.)

Anyway, I've learned to love what my body does because I want my daughters to love theirs. Anecdote: I was recently feeling like a beached whale, lying in bed wearing only a bra and underwear because putting clothes on sounded too ambitious, and my four year old walked in and raved about how beautiful I was, and she asked if she would be that beautiful someday. Awesome feeling. (And of course I told her she already was.)

This, I think, is what has given me some perspective on my body changing: my first daughter was stillborn. My second came 14 weeks early, and he spent 11 weeks in the hospital. I was on bed rest with my third to avoid NICU time (and it was 100% worth it). A few stretch marks after all that is such a small thing. I have friends who spent YEARS trying to conceive, with no discernable reason why they couldn't, and two who were never able to stay pregnant and went the adoption route. Talking to them about their journeys to become parents, despite my own struggles, makes me embarrassed of how amazing my jiggly leftover belly is. I hope you make it here too, because it's a good place to be.

SarahsHustle

Such an exciting time! There will be time when your appetite is like a MONSTER. It's normal! Eat until you're full but you don't have to eat every single thing in sight. As another member said, that "eating for two" thing,...just don't abuse it. Walk, work out, stay healthy. You'll be glowing and you'll be SO happy that all you will care about is the health of your baby and your body can bounce back IF you do not gain more than you need to. Just like when you're not pregnant, you can't eat a dozen cookies and not expect it to go to your fatty zones. Love!!