Let it GO! Decluttering (simplifying) your life of (people, places or things) success stories?
Replies
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@LoveyChar
My Husband is a pack-rat, as you described the term. He doesn't want to give up anything even if he has not worn/used it in a long time, or never will.
I wish I could go inside his closet and purge and donate a lot of his clothing that are there taking space, specially when he buys new stuff without getting rid of the old one
. But it would be a violation of his privacy and personal space, and I don't want and shouldn't do that. So I stay away.
On the other hand, I have been cleaning other areas of the house and either throwing away or donating things that I not longer want or need, and he hasn't noticed anything
Baby steps.
Note: I found this clarification on line:
What is the Difference Between a Hoarder and a Packrat?
The primary difference between a packrat and a hoarder is that packrats suffer from a relatively mild compulsion to store things, while hoarders have a crippling version of obsessive-compulsive disorder. A packrat may feel a strong need to collect items, and they may even have trouble throwing things away, but a hoarder can have his entire life controlled by the overwhelming compulsion to save everything. In general, being a packrat is seen as a minor eccentricity, while hoarding is considered by many psychologists to be a severe mental disorder requiring treatment.
One thing that separates hoarders from packrats is the motivation for their behavior. Packrats generally have fairly logical reasons for the things they keep, while hoarders are often motivated by irrational ideas or compulsions they can’t explain. For hoarders, it can be almost impossible to throw away anything, and many of the things they keep have no purpose at all.
https://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-a-hoarder-and-a-packrat.htm
Good post! Baby steps (A.K.A. slow and steady wins the race, MOST ALL the time)--absolutely, one will appreciate their progress as we take our time and do it right and righteously.Madwife2009 wrote: »Well, I learned something today - I hadn't even heard the term "packrat" before. Interesting.
DH has DARED to put stuff on my clutter-free bedroom floor. I asked him why, to be told that he has nowhere to put it. I cleared out some more stuff from my bedroom (decluttering the decluttered clutter) and told him that there is now more than enough room for all the things on the bedroom floor, even if he wants to keep it all (that's up to him).
I also told him that it's a time-limited offer and that he has until I go to bed tonight to deal with it, otherwise I'm repossessing the space
I did find some amazing photos of the children though. That was the nice part of it. I really need to get these on display once the house is decorated and carpeted. I'd really like to have a feature wall that's covered in photos. Although I probably have enough photos to cover the whole house . . . I also made a decision to keep the first teddy bear I was given, at the age of two months. Much loved, often patched back together, bare (excuse the pun) in places but a reminder of good times in childhood.
I still have more decluttered clutter to declutter in the bedroom though. There's stuff that I know I'm never going to look at, at any time so it might as well leave the house. My family cannot understand why I want to get rid of this stuff and I cannot understand why they cannot understand why I want to get rid of it!
LOVE your posts Madwife!
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@LoveyChar
My Husband is a pack-rat, as you described the term. He doesn't want to give up anything even if he has not worn/used it in a long time, or never will.
I wish I could go inside his closet and purge and donate a lot of his clothing that are there taking space, specially when he buys new stuff without getting rid of the old one . But it would be a violation of his privacy and personal space, and I don't want and shouldn't do that. So I stay away.
On the other hand, I have been cleaning other areas of the house and either throwing away or donating things that I not longer want or need, and he hasn't noticed anything Baby steps.
Note: I found this clarification on line:
What is the Difference Between a Hoarder and a Packrat?
The primary difference between a packrat and a hoarder is that packrats suffer from a relatively mild compulsion to store things, while hoarders have a crippling version of obsessive-compulsive disorder. A packrat may feel a strong need to collect items, and they may even have trouble throwing things away, but a hoarder can have his entire life controlled by the overwhelming compulsion to save everything. In general, being a packrat is seen as a minor eccentricity, while hoarding is considered by many psychologists to be a severe mental disorder requiring treatment.
One thing that separates hoarders from packrats is the motivation for their behavior. Packrats generally have fairly logical reasons for the things they keep, while hoarders are often motivated by irrational ideas or compulsions they can’t explain. For hoarders, it can be almost impossible to throw away anything, and many of the things they keep have no purpose at all.
https://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-a-hoarder-and-a-packrat.htm
Interesting and thank you...for both your story and the differentiation/clarification between hoarder and packrat. I fall under neither...I'm neither a packrat nor a hoarder according to that. I buy almost nothing materialistic at the store unless I need it. My issues are more like this: Every single thing that my daughters, now 13 and 17, have made that I have put my hands on have been kept and it adds up to craziness. There's an episode of The Goldbergs where the mom has boxes full of her kids' artwork in her garage, everything they've ever made...that's me...I have ever greeting card ever given to me...it's stuff like that but I buy almost nothing to keep, only to use out of necessity. Yes, I definitely have issues...
Be easy on your husband, sounds like you are... it's hard to understand, I know. My husband is like you are and he just doesn't understand how I feel...1 -
NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »I have a problem...I'm not a hoarder, but I am a pack rat. Difference, at least as far as I understand and from my own experience, a hoarder seeks things and it accumulates until life in the home is or almost is uninhabitable. A packrat, like me, finds a sentimental attachment to so many "things." So...
This weekend I went through my closet and got rid of so many pairs of pants I'll never wear again and a few shirts too... I also cleared out a baby swing, still in good working condition and clean and it all went to Goodwill. I got rid of a high chair to Goodwill and to my ex-husband's house, I took a bouncy seat that I had because his wife is pregnant and she likes the seat. It was hard...I don't necessarily know why, but it was...
Hey Char!
Girl...the "issue/problem/struggle" is REAL--so REAL. That said, L@@K at how you took the bull by the horns and got rid of some stuff, anyway--that's just too POWERFUL and AWESOME. This decluttering business is a whole lot like weight blastification, in that as/when we throw the gauntlet down (with ourselves and our "mind-sets" and thoughts) and just draw the line with our habits and what we've trained ourselves to believe what we are ("pack-rat"). We can start examining our "belieif's and thoughts" and tell ourselves..."Honey, I'm nobody's RAT anymore--aint nobody got no time to be ANY kind of "rat", period. CHANGE your outlook/mind-set and the your actions WILL follow, FOR REAL. Instead of thinking/believing "you are a (fill in the blank), you can tell yourself you are a (fill in the blank with something you are/can be--something terrific like I'm a "work in progress neat organizer" I'm a clean queen, I'm a lover of a cleaner/simpler lifestyle, etc.
It's amazing how we put our own selves in boxes and prisons of...I'm (fill in the blank). Okay, now be (fill in the blank)--it will take time as most good things do....change your mind and self-talk with the oppposite and watch what happens. It sounds simple...because it is. We make it hard(er) by what we say about and tell ourselves. We are NOT our thoughts and we no longer have to go along with what we call/tell ourselves. We can speak life, hope, TRUTH to ourselves and replace TRUTH with self-deception/what we think/feel/even "see" about ourselves--knowing that things CHANGE all the time and so can we. Slowly but surely--right and righteously.
Lastly, Example...(thought--we MAY really believe or feel) "I'm a packrat"....Kicking that thought to the curb with sheer viciousness (no self-pity/mercy) CASTING THOSE THOUGHTS DOWN AND OUT. Replacing them with thoughts like this instantly and all the time I'm really far more powerful and mindful that I ever thought or knew--I'm growing and learning and getting better and better with clutter and yuck more and more everyday. Let me get my tail up and take care/get rid of (fill in the blank).
{{{{ Hugs }}}}
P.S> ALWAYS REMEMBER...when/as I'm writing/talking to you and others--I'm ALWAYS talking to myself just as much, if not more/firstly and letting you/others listen!
Thank you...❤️, Loving this...1 -
Interesting and thank you...for both your story and the differentiation/clarification between hoarder and packrat. I fall under neither...I'm neither a packrat nor a hoarder according to that. I buy almost nothing materialistic at the store unless I need it. My issues are more like this: Every single thing that my daughters, now 13 and 17, have made that I have put my hands on have been kept and it adds up to craziness. There's an episode of The Goldbergs where the mom has boxes full of her kids' artwork in her garage, everything they've ever made...that's me...I have ever greeting card ever given to me...it's stuff like that but I buy almost nothing to keep, only to use out of necessity. Yes, I definitely have issues...
Be easy on your husband, sounds like you are... it's hard to understand, I know. My husband is like you are and he just doesn't understand how I feel...[/quote]
The bolded sentences apply to me too. I have boxes (those pretty ones that you buy in Home Goods or other stores) full of cards excahanged between my husband and I and between the kids and us. Close to 54 years worth of greeting cards. INSANE!
I recently behaved like a grown up and discarded the ones given to me by friends or acquaintance. It is about time!!!2 -
For birthdays and Christmas, I seriously, genuinely ask my husband and kids to get me nothing...I really am that simple, for most things. This past Christmas, I picked out what I wanted and then my husband took the kids and acted, "Oh I'll bet mom would love this." Sell it, sell it and then it was under the tree but it was stuff like socks, running shoes...
I took care of this lady who collected things, purchased mostly at garage sales and flea markets. This stuff lined every room of her house and you could barely walk through it. The state stepped in to seize her dogs; it was that bad. I felt bad for her and no, she didn't even use the stuff she had. Her house was horrifying.
@Gisel2015 I reread that and yes, I am, I WAS a packrat; I do justify keeping most things and I have a difficult time throwing most things away. Oh my goodness...☹️, I am a work in progress...💝💯!
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Re: Greeting cards saved and various other junk......I have memories of my sister and I cleaning out our parents' house after they'd both passed away.
It was a job that was no easy undertaking for even 2 adults. We started going through boxes of saved cards, you know the ones children make at school when they're only 6 yo(and that was 60 yrs. ago!!), and every single card before/after. We looked through 2 boxes and realized we were getting so caught up sifting more memories than cards. It was okay except we just didn't have time for that. They had a huge basement and attic in which to store things instead of traipsing off to the dump because well, you just never know when they'll need an item again or my dad was always thrifty and didn't want to spend money throwing stuff away. So it got packed. Picture clothing from our baby years(I did keep a teeny pair of handmade blue mittens my mom had told me I wore ), a blue shag rug all folded up and gross that we had used back in 1981, boxes and boxes of things that were no longer needed or of any good use to anyone really, old photos that were covered in mold/mildew(!!). We even found a jar of pickles my mom had made back from WW11 days. Yeh, those wouldn't have made anyone sick. 
I have to chuckle now though, because as much as my dad never threw anything away, I had a brown paper bag filled with precious Barbie stuff that turned up missing and I never found it again. My only thought was it accidentally got thrown out because it was in a bag.
I do wish that we had found out about some of the things BEFORE they died though, because there were some true treasures that we'll simply never know where they came from or the memories they held. Several small gold rings in my mom's jewelry box that all had different initials on them. A Navy trunk filled with their letters back and forth while my dad was at sea; they'd been talking about awaiting my sister's birth. Such treasures, such lifelong love. So many questions we could've asked them and known so much more about them, and our family. There were letters from one of my dad's relatives from Canada, all in French. Just priceless things, and I now have 2 trunks stored in my house, 1 with all those treasures and 1 filled with my dad's Navy uniforms.
But I have a story to share. It's long and I apologize but it's amazing and helps me believe....at least a little bit. It involved pennies. As I said, my sister and I were the ones left to clean out their home. My brother had nothing to do with it, but that's a whole other story. Anyways, I was there by myself one day, doing a bit of puttering around, found a pile of pennies on my dad's desk. So I piled it into the appropriate place. Then I switched to another room, in it was a scale where we'd weigh our dad every single a.m. Working in there, I found a penny on the floor beside it. Ok, whatever. Then I started clearing out an old cupboard and found some old photo albums and something of my grandfathers. I set it all out on a bed, then checked the cupboard again, and huh, another penny. I started to feel that feeling of something crawling on my neck. Just then my sister walked in to help me. I explained to her what I'd been finding and the old 'pennies from heaven' theory(which I'd never really believed in because well, no experience with other worldly type stuff). We started clearing out my dad's desk drawers, in there we found my other sister's birth cert./death cert. along with a picture of my own son who died when he was 9 mo. And......ready for it? More pennies. This was all happening within the same day. Last place we cleaned up that day was their closet shelves. On it were some purses my mom had. One was empty, the other had a penny, you know the ones where they cut a heart out of the middle? We couldn't believe it. It gave us indescribable shivers and joy. And still does to this day every time I look at those pennies. As much as we miss all those people not being here with us, we still feel their connection to us, our hearts and our lives.
Sorry, told you it was long. Have a wonderful day everybody!! And just remember, you can throw away the old shag rugs and even those Barbies but do keep the pennies and letters. Some things are irreplaceable. 6 -
@ReenieHJ - wonderful memories, thank you for sharing.
I had to make a decision about some birthday cards from over two decades ago. I decided that they had to go as I no longer needed them. That's how I've been handling all of my decluttering - do I need this and does it make me happy? If the answer is "no" to either question, it gets moved along. Some stuff I've hesitated over and gone back to but I don't currently regret any of my keep/get rid of decisions. I'm a different person in many ways to how and who I was two decades ago and things that made me happy then don't necessarily make me happy now.
My answer to the artwork side of things is to photograph it because the art gives me a great deal of pleasure, but the masses of paper doesn't. I may add a couple of pieces to my "feature wall" that I'm planning but then they cease to be clutter anyway
I was very aware that I had a lot of stuff - way too much and I did not want my children to have to decide what to get rid of or what to keep when I move along. They don't need that, whenever it happens. And because I don't know when that will happen (and it nearly happened last year) then I have to do this now.
My bedroom is again clutter-free. DH clearly realised that I was being totally serious.5 -
At work have been working on a large storage shed (shipping container size) that had boxes and boxes of papers from 15 yrs ago. Practically 99.9% went to trash. We can itemize what's left and maybe offer up to other locations to see if anyone has a use.
My mom is 90 and lives alone and she too saves all cards and letters sent to her, still corresponds with people. Her desk is overflowing. It's the paper burden that I dread though she keeps saying that she's trying to clear it out. If/when, it will mostly also go to trash. That thought makes me look around at my own piles and think how don't want to burden my family like that.
Dh and I are talking about moving to another state in a few years, he wants me to declutter/downsize massively now (though what he wants to buy is much larger). I like the possessions we have now and don't really see the need; but if moving it would be expensive? Guess that would be another story. I'm the packrat here.2 -
My ex-husband hoarded. He hoarded so much finally there was no room for me. So I lost 350 pounds in a divorce. (FInal straw: I could not clean out the hoard to get rid of a bug infestation.)
Walked away from a lot of stuff when I left. I have a piece of furniture and a box of Christmas ornaments that I need to get from him, but that was all I wanted in the divorce. (The piece of furniture is an eight foot tall secretary desk, which I need help and a truck to move, and the Christmas ornaments are somewhere in a hoarded basement.)
Now my boyfriend and I are going to move, so we're going to get to sort through the ten years of stuff that he has had in this house, and the few boxes that I haven't unpacked yet. Nothing like a move to make you reassess the importance of stuff.5 -
@ReenieHJ That's a sweet story. I keep jars on my kitchen windowsill. The pickles would have found a place there along with my Depression Era glass. Pennies from heaven is sweet. I put some pictures of ancestors up in my wall two Christmas's ago and ever since then, I have been getting at least one visitor. No harm has ever come of it except once in a while I get creeped out.
@Madwife2009 I am not opposed to photographing the artwork. This might be a great way to declutter for me!
@cory17 I hope you were able to recycle that paper; that is alot of paper!
Regret: My husband through away a child's booster seat after cleaning the garage yesterday. Had I known it was in the trash, I would have donated to Goodwill or put up for free on Craigslist. Nothing was wrong with it; it just needed a good cleaning. Oh, the guilt I carry...2 -
@LoveyChar
Don't feel bad about the booster seat. Laws for children car-seats have changed a lot in the last couple of years and many of these old seats are not longer allowed since they would not pass the new safety check.
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Decluttering "operations" for the next few/SEVERAL weeks:
1.) re-organizing slimming down my perfumes and bath products and "pretty-fying" those areas.
2.) now that my closet is much more empty, making it cuter and designing/"pretty-fying" some kind of area for my shoes
3.) cleaning the shutters in ALL the rooms
4.) getting rid of more books to make a dedicated/lovely looking but practical space for my candles and incense.
5.) start selling some stuff. I been telling myself for a LONG time, that I don't like/HATE to sell stuff, because it's a PITA (pain in the "attitude") I've talked myself into just giving stuff away or tossing it. This is/will be a BIG ONE for me. I'm going to humble myself and DO IT!
6.) I super decluttered the attic last year, but there is still more I can get rid of.
7.) de-clutter the kitchen pantry once more
8.) slim down my fur-baby's toy & stuff collection...stuff it doesn't play with and is just collecting dust and taking up space.[/quote]
#6 DONE, got rid of a LOT more stuff and looks soooooo GOOD! My sons found some extra wood up there (from when we had some wooden floors laid down some years ago), they laid down a proper floor up there and it's looks absolutely tremendous YAY+BOOM=WOWWWWW!
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Over the next few weeks, I want to get my sewing room properly packed for transport when we move. Apart from possibly tacking up a hem, I don't see that I'll be doing any serious sewing until we either have a new house or I'm on maintenance. We don't have a house yet, but any packing up like this is useful against the day that we discover, OK, seven days to pack and get out of this house!4
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@Gisel2015 Thank you for the comment, sweet of you to care...
@NewLIFEstyle4ME Good for you for humbling yourself and selling what you can! I just listed breastmilk storage bags for sale. I will clear out some space in the pantry when those are gone!
@theleadmare Way to chip away at it! I hope your move is smooth.
I'm going to get rid of some more things today, but what...I do not know yet...
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@Gisel2015 Thank you for the comment, sweet of you to care...
@NewLIFEstyle4ME Good for you for humbling yourself and selling what you can! I just listed breastmilk storage bags for sale. I will clear out some space in the pantry when those are gone!
@theleadmare Way to chip away at it! I hope your move is smooth.
I'm going to get rid of some more things today, but what...I do not know yet...
THANK YOU Char for posting this! I think you listing your items for sale is wonderful, because you're getting rid of something you no longer need and someone is going to get something they want and need. I haven't yet sold anything, BUT...your post is encouraging me to "get to it" sooner. 3 -
I continue to clean-up and organize (and throw away), papers every day. Today it was my desk's turn. What I don't need or want was shredded, and what I am still "thinking" about went to the corresponding folder in one of the drawers. At least they are out of sight. Once I have the time, I will start cleaning those folders too. The desk looks clean and tidy. Hope it last!!!
My next step is to check and organize one of my storage cabinets in the office. It holds a lot of the greeting cards that I get from the organizations that I support, plus old pictures, and other things that I will soon find out
. My greeting card organizer is full so I ordered one from Amazon and as soon as I get it, I will dig into the cabinet with all my might and soul .
@NewLIFEstyle4ME: Congratulations on completing another goal (#6 this time). One day at the time will win the race.
@LoveyChar: Thank you for your kind comment. By the way, I didn't know that breast milk storage bags existed. Oh dear, I just gave away the fact that I am old!!
@theleadmare: Good luck finding a new house and with all the packaging that you are planning too. No easy to do both things at the same time.
@ReenieHJ: What a sweet story that was, and nice memories too.
@Madwife2009: Good job in keeping your bedroom organized. I like the idea of photographing the artwork. I may need to do that too.
@cory17: nice of you cleaning that high % of papers. And maybe seeing all the extra cluttering that your mom accumulated thru the years can help you and your husband not to do the same. That is what I am trying to tell my husband…
That's all for now ladies, and have a great Friday and weekend.
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@loveychar This is a school and went into "recycling" bins but it being LA, kindof doubt whether really is happening. But noticed that the more I went through and saw useless, & more useless (& guess got tired of it), the easier it was to just throw it out. So much waste but pointless to have it all just sitting there. Guess that applies to everything else.3
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@Gisel2015 I read your post about decluttering and organizing papers the other day. This, too, is one of my problems and I am working on this also.
Ladies, I had a productive day! I decluttered and I'm still working on it but soon, when I have more time, I will share my progress with you lovely ladies!4 -
Hi everyone! As you know we got a puppy last month. Well last week we went and got my dad's dog. Dad fell when walking her and can't handle her anymore. We couldn't let her go to the pound.
The moral of the story is: A puppy and new dog take the "de" out of decluttering!
Reading all your stories is inspiring, hoping to be able to get back to it today!7 -
One of my goals for 2020 is to stop wasting time and energy on people and things that don't reciprocate my efforts. I'm also not going to "force" anything that isn't working for me or doesn't feel right. I'm not going to do things just because I feel like I should or just because someone else wants me to.10
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He1loKitty wrote: »One of my goals for 2020 is to stop wasting time and energy on people and things that don't reciprocate my efforts. I'm also not going to "force" anything that isn't working for me or doesn't feel right. I'm not going to do things just because I feel like I should or just because someone else wants me to.
this! needed to read this at exactly this moment. thanks for the reminder 4 -
mi_nina_lola wrote: »He1loKitty wrote: »One of my goals for 2020 is to stop wasting time and energy on people and things that don't reciprocate my efforts. I'm also not going to "force" anything that isn't working for me or doesn't feel right. I'm not going to do things just because I feel like I should or just because someone else wants me to.
this! needed to read this at exactly this moment. thanks for the reminder
I agree!!!!! 2 -
@Gisel2015 I read your post about decluttering and organizing papers the other day. This, too, is one of my problems and I am working on this also.
Ladies, I had a productive day! I decluttered and I'm still working on it but soon, when I have more time, I will share my progress with you lovely ladies!
Good for you Char, but I warn you that it is a never ending chore. One day everything is neat and in order, and the next a bunch of papers show up out of nowhere that need to be checked or read before throwing them away. Just take one day at the time. The good thing is that once you get rid of the big pile of unneeded and unwanted things, the rest will be easier to handle. Good luck!3 -
I have a card in my file that shows up on Sunday nights that warns the people with desks downstairs to tidy their personal areas. I will dust and put everything back if it's neat, but if it's a pile of piles, I won't. There's also one that tells me to weed the magazine and catalog piles.5
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Hello everyone, I was on here for a little while, a while back. I've been very busy helping our daughter get rid of almost everything with her move out of town. She literally only took what she could fit in her car with her 3 kids. We donated bags & bags of household stuff & clothes. I only took a few things I could use although I was very tempted to take more. After she left last week I've been de cluttering too. Got rid of several pots I never use & have been cleaning out my walk in closet. Not nearly finished. I have so many clothes I never wear but keep them just because they're near new because I hardly ever wear them. I also have "nicer" clothes hanging in closet that I hardly ever wore & don't really dress up so I need to get rid of those too. I also got rid of several blankets we never use. It's really hard because I think I'll use them in the future6
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Got some dusting done yesterday. Today I got all the things dad sent with the dog sorted out and put away. Too many old towels, but I'll sort them when I'm taking dog rugs to the shelter.3
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I've seen this thread before and I've always put off reading it because it has so much in it! Well, I read through the first 6 pages last night and was already inspired to go put some things away that I've left sitting around for too long. 7
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I cleaned out my closet yesterday. I've dropped a size and will drop more, and I don't have room to have stuff that's too big for me cluttering my closet. I left two unfitted dresses and drapey shawl-jackets that will do in a pinch if I have somewhere to go in a hurry formally (At least for a few more sizes) and the shirts and yoga pants that still fit. My girlfriend is doing this too, but she's starting at a 26/28 pant. So I packed up the size 20 pants that were in decent shape for her, and gave her my 2x tank tops to wear now with sweaters. My closet is quite bare now, but that's fine with me.
I have next size down prepurchased and hanging on red hangers, and I'm waiting for next size down underwear and yoga pants. I'll sort my closet out every size I go down, since I'm wanting to go several sizes down, and I don't ever want to come back up.6 -
I love reading these decluttering stories ^^^, all of them! I got rid of two big, full bags of recyclable paper last night and I'll get rid of more "stuff" today, although, I haven't figured out where to start yet. Just start, just do it, right?!?3
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My partner and I just recently moved from a 2-bedroom townhouse to a 2-bedroom loft-style apartment. We definitely downsized our living spaces (no garage, small square feet, lower rent and taking over a sublease), but we were definitely able to get rid of a ton of old furniture, clothes, and nick-nacks that we simply weren't using anymore. The last few weeks have been stressful, dealing with the old landlord and moving to getting into our new place.
We got rid of two huge couches that our animals have destroyed and replaced those with a small used futon with a waterproof/allergy resistant cover. We got rid of whole wardrobes of clothes we weren't fitting into anymore, kids toys that weren't getting used, etc. And sold what we could on Facebook Marketplace for extra cash. And now that we are week two into our new (carpet-free) home, it finally feels like our living space is more open-concept.9
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