Please encourage me to lose weight slowly!

jgnatca

I'm rather fond of the Buddhist approach to the inner voices. Fighting them just makes them stronger. The technique that brings peace is to observe the voice/compulsion, let if flow over you without comment or judgement, and let it pass along. Like a wave. No need to act on it. No need to attach any emotion to it either.

sexymamadraeger

Why don't you throw out the idea of tracking calories and just pay attention to your body signals? When I first started losing I didn't pay attention whatsoever to calories. I still don't except to occasionally add it up to see what I eat. I was really sick all the time with undiagnosed food allergies. I put myself on an elimination diet and ate the same foods day after day. I learned what a craving feels like as opposed to real hunger and I learned when to pay attention and when to ignore. I have weighed every day because it helped me learn my patterns. But counting calories constantly would have held me back. It's too much thinking about food. For the first 2 months or so I probably ate 800 calories a day (at least thats what I estimated later) and I wasn't hungry at all. Because I had been sick and my body was healing. Eventually I got hungrier. But it seems like you are focusing waaaay too much on the calorie thing. Just plan an eating routine and eat the same kinds of foods over and over for a while and don't worry about the details of it. The weight will come off easily. Especially if you ditch simple carbs and sugar.

gracegettingittogether

The problem is my appetite has never lead me in the right direction. Either I'm starving all the time while gaining weight, or I have no appetite at all while losing weight. I've always struggled with finding a balance because my appetite is just always off. That's why I love MFP. No more guess work. It's done for me.

GottaBurnEmAll

gracegettingittogether wrote: »

The problem is my appetite has never lead me in the right direction. Either I'm starving all the time while gaining weight, or I have no appetite at all while losing weight. I've always struggled with finding a balance because my appetite is just always off. That's why I love MFP. No more guess work. It's done for me.

I'm with you. I'm 55 years old, and I broke my appetite signalling switch a very long time ago.

One thing I'd suggest to you that's been helpful to me?

Well, a little backstory. I got stuck in a binge/restrict cycle for the past year. One of the many things that helped me get out of it was implementing weekend maintenance days.

One of the things that played into the cycle for me was over restricting, and the down regulation of the hormones that happens with caloric restriction told my body to eat. Well, I was so depleted, I didn't just eat, I binged.

The implementation of weekly maintenance refeed days helps bring those depleted hormones back to baseline levels, and I can go another week eating at deficit without facing possible consequences which ultimately lead me to binge.

I've been out of the binge/restrict cycle for ... I think it's going on eight weeks now because of this.

And yes, sometimes I have to force myself to eat at maintenance. Conquering this cycle is WORTH IT.

Read the first post of the dieting and refeeds thread for information about this. It might help you.

gracegettingittogether

I have a weird body. All that trusting your body? Yeah well, every time I do that, I end up in the hospital, have a traumatic birth, almost starve my son while breastfeeding because apparently my milk had no fat, the nutrients didn't go the the baby first, so he lost milestones and slept almost 24 hours per day. Even the pediatrician thought he had a neurological wasting disease. Nope, just my body starving him.
And the time I was sick for two weeks but thought I was ok? Ended up in the hospital with bilateral pneumonias, and had to be brought in by ambulance.
Really bad onset of severe cystic acne to the point the dermatologist said there's no way it could just be stress. Oh it was.
Then there was the time I got blurry vision and impaired hearing from stress, but thought there was nothing wrong with that.
Just my body reacts in weird unpredictable ways. I have no idea what's going on with it most of the time.

gracegettingittogether

[quote="GottaBurnEmAll;c-410

I'm with you. I'm 55 years old, and I broke my appetite signalling switch a very long time ago.

One thing I'd suggest to you that's been helpful to me?

Well, a little backstory. I got stuck in a binge/restrict cycle for the past year. One of the many things that helped me get out of it was implementing weekend maintenance days.

One of the things that played into the cycle for me was over restricting, and the down regulation of the hormones that happens with caloric restriction told my body to eat. Well, I was so depleted, I didn't just eat, I binged.

The implementation of weekly maintenance refeed days helps bring those depleted hormones back to baseline levels, and I can go another week eating at deficit without facing possible consequences which ultimately lead me to binge.

I've been out of the binge/restrict cycle for ... I think it's going on eight weeks now because of this.

And yes, sometimes I have to force myself to eat at maintenance. Conquering this cycle is WORTH IT.

Read the first post of the dieting and refeeds thread for information about this. It might help you.[/quote]

Thank you!! That's really helpful!! This gives me hope! I've been so worried about the possibility of binging. I'm also glad to hear of someone else who has to force themselves to eat and it actually prevents binging instead of bringing it on. Thank you!

PAV8888

sexymamadraeger wrote: »

Why don't you throw out the idea of tracking calories and just pay attention to your body signals? When I first started losing I didn't pay attention whatsoever to calories. I still don't except to occasionally add it up to see what I eat. I was really sick all the time with undiagnosed food allergies. I put myself on an elimination diet and ate the same foods day after day. I learned what a craving feels like as opposed to real hunger and I learned when to pay attention and when to ignore. I have weighed every day because it helped me learn my patterns. But counting calories constantly would have held me back. It's too much thinking about food. For the first 2 months or so I probably ate 800 calories a day (at least thats what I estimated later) and I wasn't hungry at all. Because I had been sick and my body was healing. Eventually I got hungrier. But it seems like you are focusing waaaay too much on the calorie thing. Just plan an eating routine and eat the same kinds of foods over and over for a while and don't worry about the details of it. The weight will come off easily. Especially if you ditch simple carbs and sugar.

Hopefully without being too far out of line... but what exactly are you either doing or advocating here.

Help us out with the backstory.of a person

* who is on a calorie tracking and counting forum saying that she doesn't count calories.
* who is in a forum of a site with a policy of advocating a minimum caloric intake, yet you're implicitly suggesting eating well below that
* who is advising a person with a history of at least some adverse reaction to over-restricting... to over restrict.

You also said, if I understood correctly, that you're in a bit of a spiral of enjoying feeling hungry, and you're also not sure you want to stop when you get to maintenance... thoughts that on the surface sound slightly questionable.

So tell us something about your backstory.

Because if I had to guess I would say that a) your are dieting with a deficit that is sufficiently large that you have now tipped into ed ideation and b) that you have a history of losing and gaining weight... but not one of maintaining for a long time after a weight loss.

And tell us what your advice to the op is (an OP who asked to be encouraged to lose weight slowly).

Because if I am reading you correctly you are advising her to under eat and go for a big deficit to lose weight fast because...(well I'm not clear about that because. Hence I'm asking you about your back story and thought process @sexymamadraeger )

sexymamadraeger

Fair enough! I realize her question was how to lose slowly and count the calories. I guess I was sharing what has worked for me in the past. I wasn't encouraging her to eat way low calories to lose fast. I was observing that she seems extremely anxious about it. It is ok to eat very low calories if you are truly not hungry. Because eventually your body is hungry and will want to eat more. I was suggesting that she learn when she is truly hungry and when she is craving and let that be the guide. It may not be appropriate for her question. You are correct. I was just sharing my thoughts is all.

Here's my backstory. I was thin and in great shape until I had my first child who is special needs. My coping mechanism was food because I never slept and life was hard. I gained weight until I was 283. But I was also sick and didn't realize it. I found out my food allergies and started eating an elimination diet and healing my gut. I was not very hungry. But I was healing ulcers and inflammation etc and bouts of sickness when I ate something wrong. I had to learn to not worry about the calories and focus on how my body felt. And that is what made the difference for me! I tried counting calories many times and I always sabotaged myself. Because counting calories makes you focus on food constantly. It didn't work for me. I learned what cravings felt like and what hunger felt like. I never yo yo dieted. When I lost I lost. I started 3 years ago and I have lost 125 pounds total as of today. My struggle is unique because of my allergies. I have a narrow diet and I worry mostly about getting enough nutrition in the long run. I am used to hunger because I can't eat out or conveniently many times. And it really is ok to be hungry sometimes as long as you aren't bottoming out with your blood sugar. So I was trying to help. But I do have a unique perspective. I used this app as a guide but I never used the calorie counter much. I log exercise and journal my health and track my weight. It's good for much more than just calorie counting.

Nony_Mouse

sexymamadraeger wrote: »

Fair enough! I realize her question was how to lose slowly and count the calories. I guess I was sharing what has worked for me in the past. I wasn't encouraging her to eat way low calories to lose fast. I was observing that she seems extremely anxious about it. It is ok to eat very low calories if you are truly not hungry. Because eventually your body is hungry and will want to eat more. I was suggesting that she learn when she is truly hungry and when she is craving and let that be the guide. It may not be appropriate for her question. You are correct. I was just sharing my thoughts is all.

Occasionally? Sure. Consistently, absolutely not. And actually especially if your body is trying to heal. I just went through the mother of all eczema flares. Between the rash and the prednisone required to stop my immune system from over-reacting, I was really not hungry a lot of the time. I made damn sure I hit my TDEE every day, because my body needed those calories to heal the ridiculous damage it had done to itself.

sexymamadraeger

I lost the first 85 pounds quickly because I wasn't eating carbs. The last 40 has been slow and steady... a pound a week. I still don't eat carbs. I don't think I have an eating disorder. I did when I was big. But I do worry a lot about finding a happy place when I reach my goal weight. I think because of my food sensitivities I will have trouble not losing weight. I need a nutritionist to help find a balance. That's all.

PAV8888

sexymamadraeger wrote: »

I do have a unique perspective. I used this app as a guide but I never used the calorie counter much. I log exercise and journal my health and track my weight. It's good for much more than just calorie counting.

Sounds like a unique perspective.

Stories of eating too little and then over eating in reaction, or losing very fast and then regaining abound

For many people the relative ascetic eating regiment that your health concerns have forced you in would sound hard to commit to long term absent similar health constraints.

Of course losing slowly also does not guarantee anything. It's just that finding a sustainable path seems to offer more of a *chance* of success ..

Nony_Mouse

sexymamadraeger wrote: »

I lost the first 85 pounds quickly because I wasn't eating carbs. The last 40 has been slow and steady... a pound a week. I still don't eat carbs. I don't think I have an eating disorder. I did when I was big. But I do worry a lot about finding a happy place when I reach my goal weight. I think because of my food sensitivities I will have trouble not losing weight. I need a nutritionist to help find a balance. That's all.

You lost the first 85 lbs quickly because you had an aggressive calorie deficit. Not eating carbs doesn't speed up weight loss beyond the initial water weight drop. You probably also lost additional water weight as inflammation decreased with not eating the foods you have intolerances to (same thing happened to me when I identified some eczema food triggers). If your weight loss has slowed, it's because your deficit is smaller.

You know what foods you can eat, so you eat more of those when you get to goal.

Good_Morning_Glory

I would just like to sneak in and give the OP a big ol’ HIGH FIVE for remaining open minded and being willing to listen.

That is wonderful and I’ve admired your grace.

gracegettingittogether

Good_Morning_Glory wrote: »

I would just like to sneak in and give the OP a big ol’ HIGH FIVE for remaining open minded and being willing to listen.

That is wonderful and I’ve admired your grace.

That's very sweet of you! I have a lot to learn. And in the spirit of taking all your advice, I'm baking bread this morning and will be enjoying a couple slices for a snack! I didn't quite make it to goal yesterday, but I did force myself to finish all my meals and even had some chocolate in the evening to bring up my total even though I didn't really want to. I think I need to eat a snack through out the day and that will help me get enough calories in. We're eating vegan right now for religious reasons, which makes it harder to keep the calories up to where they need to be. Thank you everyone!

gracegettingittogether

Hey, this is kind of interesting! I've now been on stronger antibiotics about four days now, and my staph infection is finally starting to respond to them and subside!!! And interestingly, I weighed myself this morning and I haven't gone down at all for the first time in about 3 weeks, which is when the staph really started taking off. I also felt hungry, (but not ravenous thankfully) this morning. Now, I'm really wondering if part of the reason I was losing so fast was because my BMR was raised fighting the staph. Because my calorie totals have been about the same these last 3 weeks. I'm usually under total by about 100-200. And I wonder if the staph was also causing me nausea. Because that can be an effect of staph. Wow!
Maybe I wasn't going into the starvation mode as much as I thought, but it was compounded by staph. Because I had this infection, since I started MFP, only it wasn't diagnosed as such until a week and a half ago, when it got really bad. I also had chills and substantial pain, along with the nausea and loss of appetite, which does happen with staph.
Wouldn't that be great if I wasn't going as crazy as I thought and was surprised by? I mean by being surprised how strong my body's response was.
See, this is why I can't trust my body. It wasn't my mind, or voices in my head, it was staph!
Anyways, it likely was a strong component.
I feel calmer now. I kept thinking, what is WRONG with me, before.

Nony_Mouse

gracegettingittogether wrote: »

Hey, this is kind of interesting! I've now been on stronger antibiotics about four days now, and my staph infection is finally starting to respond to them and subside!!! And interestingly, I weighed myself this morning and I haven't gone down at all for the first time in about 3 weeks, which is when the staph really started taking off. I also felt hungry, (but not ravenous thankfully) this morning. Now, I'm really wondering if part of the reason I was losing so fast was because my BMR was raised fighting the staph. Because my calorie totals have been about the same these last 3 weeks. I'm usually under total by about 100-200. And I wonder if the staph was also causing me nausea. Because that can be an effect of staph. Wow!
Maybe I wasn't going into the starvation mode as much as I thought, but it was compounded by staph. Because I had this infection, since I started MFP, only it wasn't diagnosed as such until a week and a half ago, when it got really bad. I also had chills and substantial pain, along with the nausea and loss of appetite, which does happen with staph.
Wouldn't that be great if I wasn't going as crazy as I thought and was surprised by? I mean by being surprised how strong my body's response was.
See, this is why I can't trust my body. It wasn't my mind, or voices in my head, it was staph!
Anyways, it likely was a strong component.
I feel calmer now. I kept thinking, what is WRONG with me, before.

You will absolutely use more calories when your body is trying to fight something/repair itself. As I mentioned above, I recently had a severe eczema outbreak (I'm talking 75% of my thighs, at its worst looking like I had severe, inflamed sunburn). I track pretty meticulously, and know that my Fitbit is about smack bang on for my TDEE, was eating at that level (ie not in a deficit). We estimated I burned an additional 1000+ calories a day generating that rash. I've continued to burn a bit higher since, either as my skin repaired, or because my immune system hadn't been squashed by the prednisone yet and was still trying to do dumb things it shouldn't. I am absolutely of the opinion that if you are sick, or injured, you should try to eat at at least maintenance for that time period.

It's pretty easy to fall into that hole of wanting to lose faster and faster, as you mentioned in your OP, especially if you have a history of disordered eating habits and thoughts, so not really surprising (to me, anyway) that your recent rapid weight loss has triggered that. My ED has always been triggered by stress, because I don't have an appetite when I'm uber stressed, I start losing weight, even without any plan or desire to previously, and if I'm not careful, bam! In come those thoughts of restricting further and further. Knowing these things about yourself is helpful for combating them in the future.

Do try to hit at least what MFP gives you for your calorie goal (not 100-200 cals under) while your body continues to heal (and after, of course), even if that means getting those calories in in liquid form such as soda, but hopefully your appetite is back to stay. Lots of nutrient rich foods for you.

Also, starvation mode as you're probably thinking of it isn't a thing. There's a couple of really good posts on adaptive thermogenesis (which is a thing) in the "most helpful posts" stickied at the top of this forum that you should have a read of.

DmaMfz

For all the weeks I could have lost if I had just focused on .5 lb a week, I would be at more of a deficit than I am now. The heavy restricting isn’t fun, nor is the binge cycle it creates, and you don’t even get a payoff. So really there’s no point in doing it any other way than a practical deficit.

Once I accepted this, game changer. You’ll be grateful you did.

Psychgrrl

gracegettingittogether wrote: »

It's embarrassing to read my posts and see the truth of what you're saying. I didn't fully realize it untill rereading my own posts. I'm going to keep posting here for that reason, if you guys don't mind. So you can call me out when I am unreasonable. It's humiliating but good for me.

It takes a lot of courage to do that! I'm really proud of you so seeking the feedback and accountability like this! Though also having someone in real life to help you in this way would be a huge benefit!

sexymamadraeger

I absolutely lost a lot of weight from inflammation and water etc.... cutting out carbs helped me tremendously because I got rid of cravings. After about 3 weeks they disappear. I wouldn't wish my allergies on anyone. It is hard to live with. But it's been a mixed blessing for me. I have truly learned to live a life that doesn't revolve around food. I am 158 lbs now and 4 lbs from a healthy BMI. I feel awesome. I know my body now. I just have to work in more good nutrition. I really do believe people focus too much on trying to eat what they love and count the calories. It's all about habit. Creating routines that you learn to follow automatically. Eating the same foods at the same times for a good while so you don't have to plan. It works.

GottaBurnEmAll

sexymamadraeger wrote: »

I absolutely lost a lot of weight from inflammation and water etc.... cutting out carbs helped me tremendously because I got rid of cravings. After about 3 weeks they disappear. I wouldn't wish my allergies on anyone. It is hard to live with. But it's been a mixed blessing for me. I have truly learned to live a life that doesn't revolve around food. I am 158 lbs now and 4 lbs from a healthy BMI. I feel awesome. I know my body now. I just have to work in more good nutrition. I really do believe people focus too much on trying to eat what they love and count the calories. It's all about habit. Creating routines that you learn to follow automatically. Eating the same foods at the same times for a good while so you don't have to plan. It works.

I am sorry, but that sort of restriction is the worst possible advice to give to someone with the OP's eating problems.

I realize you are trying to be helpful here, but trust me, you're not being that way.

Restricting food groups, becoming an automaton around food? It sounds like trading one disorder for another.

That's not how to solve a problem.

People do not "focus too much on trying trying to eat what they love". People are trying to focus on a sustainable way of eating for a life time.

I've been where you are with the low carbing. I low carbed for ten years. It wasn't sustainable. A flexible, rather than routine way of eating is something that's more realistic for most people for a lifetime.

BTW, I'm 122 pounds and well within a healthy BMI.