Quitting Smoking - A Diary
DX2JX2
Posts: 1,921 Member
After being a smoker for close to 25 years, I'm finally getting around to kicking the habit. This will serve as a diary of the early days of my effort for accountability purposes and maybe provide some motivation/advice to others.
I've tried to quit before but never had a good reason to stay quit. As backwards as it sounds, any smoker can attest to the fact that health alone isn't a very compelling reason to quit when staring a massive nicotine craving in the face. This time around I have a very good (and tangible) reason to quit - my first baby is due in about 6 weeks.
Pro-tip: You need a reason to quit smoking. Something that is immediate, tangible, and important to you. If you do not have a driving reason to quit smoking, you will not quit. It's that simple.
I'm also choosing to forego any nicotine replacement therapies. After having used them in the past, I don't think they're particularly helpful because they continue/extend the addiction to nicotine (and by extension, to cigarettes). IMO the longer you maintain your physical addiction, the greater chance there is that you will have another cigarette (I can personally attest to this from experience).
I'm going cold turkey this time around...get the nicotine out of my body asap and end the physical addiction as quickly as possible. Basically, take advantage of the fact that I will be most determined to quit early in the process. While the cravings and withdrawal symptoms might be more intense this way, I'll be taking them on when I am most motivated to deal with them.
In addition, while conventional wisdom says to remove all 'triggers' from your presence (throw out cigarettes, abstain from drinking, etc.), I'm taking an alternative approach. I am not a gentle flower that needs coddling. If my willpower collapses simply because temptation is close by then I haven't really quit. I would only be a smoker without the opportunity to smoke.
If I can quit despite having an open pack of cigarettes in the house or despite having a few drinks. Then I will truly be a non-smoker.
For background, I lost about 50 pounds over the last 7 months and started exercising in earnest to get myself ready for the baby and for the ordeal of quitting smoking. While I've technically been in maintenance for a while, I've allowed my weight to drop ~10 pounds below target to give myself some leeway to have a snack instead of a smoke for the first few weeks.
Here we go...
Day 0:
It's a Friday, my last day of smoking. An awesome dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, about five Old Fashioneds, and a ton of cigarettes while out. While having just one more butt after returning home, I realize how much I'm going to miss smoking. It's an odd thought to have about something that will kill you, but it's the way most smokers feel.
Day 1:
Saturday morning. Ugh. Why didn't I quit when I had something to do? Almost head out back to the deck for a smoke after waking up without thinking about it but then remember that I can't do that. Luckily it's long run day so I can spend my first 90 minutes as a non-smoker focused on that. Oddly enough, I already feel a benefit from just skipping the first smoke of the day, I feel great over my run and match my personal best non-race 10K time without even thinking about it.
Cravings hit hard over the course of the day. Luckily, my wife made plans that will keep her out of the house (and my hair) for most of the day. Chewing gum helps, as does snacking and drinking water. Oddly enough, the most helpful thing in dealing with the cravings has been anger. It sounds cheesy but every time I want a cigarette I channel anger at the cigarette companies.
My mantra has become "F*** you, Philip Morris, for selling a product that can make me feel this miserable. You will not beat me." I say this out loud during my cravings and it's surprisingly effective.
Since I want to be careful with the snacking, but do recognize that eating helps to take the edge off of cravings, I leverage what I learned about meal scheduling from losing weight and structure my meal & snack times for the day. I've done this before...I'm not fighting nicotine, I'm fighting a snack craving. If I can hold out until X'o clock, then I can eat something. Carving the day up into blocks between meals/snacks gives me a short-term goal to shoot for and makes dealing with the cravings less infinite.
That said, time still passes terribly slow for the day. I go to bed at 8:30 in the hopes that I can fall asleep quickly and not have to think about cigarettes anymore.
Day 2:
Saturday night was horrible. I fell asleep pretty quickly but tossed and turned quite a bit. Sunday is a rest day so no run...we decide to go out to brunch where I load up on fancy bloody marys. While I am hit hard by a few cravings during the meal and get close to breaking, my family does a ton to talk me out of it. Oddly enough, I realize that drinking is actually quelling my nicotine cravings. I proceed to stay drunk all day. One great thing about having a pregnant wife (other than the obvious) is always having a designated driver.
The day passes pretty quickly (grocery shopping while drunk is a blast) and I surprisingly make it though without too many problems. I will admit to grabbing a cigarette from my open pack and 'smoking' it unlit once or twice during the day. It worked to get through the cravings though my wife initially thought I was really smoking them. She's definitely a keeper...she was fine with me being drunk all day if it helped me to stay off the cigarettes (and also because it helped to take the edge off my irritability!)
Since I probably drank a million calories in alcohol over the course of the day, I'm pretty happy that I gave myself some leeway with my weight to allow for it.
Day 3:
One more day and all of the nicotine will technically be out of my body. This means that my withdrawal symptoms and cravings will technically be peaking on day 3 and yay, it's a Monday.
5 mile run first thing in the morning and I feel really good. My Garmin shows my VO2max at a new personal high after having been stuck in the same general range for a month or two. Quitting smoking is already paying dividends!
I'm amazed at how much time I pick up in my morning routine by not having a couple of smokes. I'm out the door and in the office 15-20 minutes earlier than normal.
It turns out to be surprisingly easy not to smoke during the day...since my worked implemented a 'smoke free' campus policy, I'm already used to not smoking during the day (I usually run out for one at lunchtime), and couple this with the fact that I don't smoke in my car or my house, not smoking during the workday really isn't that bad. It's a little tough not to smoke after returning home in the evening but I left myself enough daily calories to have a really big dinner and that keeps me satisfied until bedtime.
Irritability is running high. I snapped at my wife and the dogs a couple of times and felt really bad afterwards. I must remember to take a few deep breaths in the future.
Days 4, 5, and 6 (today):
I'm officially nicotine free! I have a three-day meeting to attend in the city and I realized that this is the first time in a long time that I'm not panicked about trying to squeeze in one more cigarette before getting on the train, nor am I panicked about figuring out how/where/when to smoke during the meeting itself or about how difficult it will be to get outside for a smoke from my hotel room. I never before realized how hard it is to actually be a smoker since pretty much all public places have gone smoke free.
Oddly enough...the meeting location was a 15 minute walk from the train station and a 30 minute walk from my hotel. Between walking to the meeting location/hotel, and walking a few blocks in the evening to get some dinner, I literally passed only 2 smokers. Public health efforts to stem smoking really seem to have worked.
I caught a ride from the meeting to the hotel in the evening of day 4 and it turns out my co-worker was a smoker. He fired one up before we got into the car and being around a smoker didn't seem to impact my resolve at all.
What I think was helpful was the fact that as my co-worker was smoking, he talked about how much he actually hates smoking. I felt exactly the same way as a smoker and it made me proud/happy to know that I did something about it. I never realized how self-loathing I was as a smoker.
A little surprisingly, my cravings are still pretty consistent and strong. I'm dealing with them but I honestly thought they would have quieted down a little by now. Basically, I feel like I want a cigarette all of the time. I must stay focused as I can see how a relapse would be so easy.
On the plus side, I actually had a solid hour or so yesterday when I didn't think about cigarettes at all and I have found myself forgetting about my desire for a cigarette a little more frequently each day.
If I get through tomorrow, I'll be one week smoke free.
Although technically I know that there's zero nicotine left in my system, I still feel just as addicted to cigarettes today as I did before I started my quit effort. It's getting easier to deal with but I can still feel that smoke hitting my lungs and the buzz of nicotine hitting my bloodstream.
They say that cravings tend to last for two weeks or so but that I should see cravings really start to subside after the first week. I really hope it's true since I'm not sure if I can hold out against this feeling of constant need forever. Cigarettes truly are the devil.
Updates will come when merited...wish me luck!
I've tried to quit before but never had a good reason to stay quit. As backwards as it sounds, any smoker can attest to the fact that health alone isn't a very compelling reason to quit when staring a massive nicotine craving in the face. This time around I have a very good (and tangible) reason to quit - my first baby is due in about 6 weeks.
Pro-tip: You need a reason to quit smoking. Something that is immediate, tangible, and important to you. If you do not have a driving reason to quit smoking, you will not quit. It's that simple.
I'm also choosing to forego any nicotine replacement therapies. After having used them in the past, I don't think they're particularly helpful because they continue/extend the addiction to nicotine (and by extension, to cigarettes). IMO the longer you maintain your physical addiction, the greater chance there is that you will have another cigarette (I can personally attest to this from experience).
I'm going cold turkey this time around...get the nicotine out of my body asap and end the physical addiction as quickly as possible. Basically, take advantage of the fact that I will be most determined to quit early in the process. While the cravings and withdrawal symptoms might be more intense this way, I'll be taking them on when I am most motivated to deal with them.
In addition, while conventional wisdom says to remove all 'triggers' from your presence (throw out cigarettes, abstain from drinking, etc.), I'm taking an alternative approach. I am not a gentle flower that needs coddling. If my willpower collapses simply because temptation is close by then I haven't really quit. I would only be a smoker without the opportunity to smoke.
If I can quit despite having an open pack of cigarettes in the house or despite having a few drinks. Then I will truly be a non-smoker.
For background, I lost about 50 pounds over the last 7 months and started exercising in earnest to get myself ready for the baby and for the ordeal of quitting smoking. While I've technically been in maintenance for a while, I've allowed my weight to drop ~10 pounds below target to give myself some leeway to have a snack instead of a smoke for the first few weeks.
Here we go...
Day 0:
It's a Friday, my last day of smoking. An awesome dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, about five Old Fashioneds, and a ton of cigarettes while out. While having just one more butt after returning home, I realize how much I'm going to miss smoking. It's an odd thought to have about something that will kill you, but it's the way most smokers feel.
Day 1:
Saturday morning. Ugh. Why didn't I quit when I had something to do? Almost head out back to the deck for a smoke after waking up without thinking about it but then remember that I can't do that. Luckily it's long run day so I can spend my first 90 minutes as a non-smoker focused on that. Oddly enough, I already feel a benefit from just skipping the first smoke of the day, I feel great over my run and match my personal best non-race 10K time without even thinking about it.
Cravings hit hard over the course of the day. Luckily, my wife made plans that will keep her out of the house (and my hair) for most of the day. Chewing gum helps, as does snacking and drinking water. Oddly enough, the most helpful thing in dealing with the cravings has been anger. It sounds cheesy but every time I want a cigarette I channel anger at the cigarette companies.
My mantra has become "F*** you, Philip Morris, for selling a product that can make me feel this miserable. You will not beat me." I say this out loud during my cravings and it's surprisingly effective.
Since I want to be careful with the snacking, but do recognize that eating helps to take the edge off of cravings, I leverage what I learned about meal scheduling from losing weight and structure my meal & snack times for the day. I've done this before...I'm not fighting nicotine, I'm fighting a snack craving. If I can hold out until X'o clock, then I can eat something. Carving the day up into blocks between meals/snacks gives me a short-term goal to shoot for and makes dealing with the cravings less infinite.
That said, time still passes terribly slow for the day. I go to bed at 8:30 in the hopes that I can fall asleep quickly and not have to think about cigarettes anymore.
Day 2:
Saturday night was horrible. I fell asleep pretty quickly but tossed and turned quite a bit. Sunday is a rest day so no run...we decide to go out to brunch where I load up on fancy bloody marys. While I am hit hard by a few cravings during the meal and get close to breaking, my family does a ton to talk me out of it. Oddly enough, I realize that drinking is actually quelling my nicotine cravings. I proceed to stay drunk all day. One great thing about having a pregnant wife (other than the obvious) is always having a designated driver.
The day passes pretty quickly (grocery shopping while drunk is a blast) and I surprisingly make it though without too many problems. I will admit to grabbing a cigarette from my open pack and 'smoking' it unlit once or twice during the day. It worked to get through the cravings though my wife initially thought I was really smoking them. She's definitely a keeper...she was fine with me being drunk all day if it helped me to stay off the cigarettes (and also because it helped to take the edge off my irritability!)
Since I probably drank a million calories in alcohol over the course of the day, I'm pretty happy that I gave myself some leeway with my weight to allow for it.
Day 3:
One more day and all of the nicotine will technically be out of my body. This means that my withdrawal symptoms and cravings will technically be peaking on day 3 and yay, it's a Monday.
5 mile run first thing in the morning and I feel really good. My Garmin shows my VO2max at a new personal high after having been stuck in the same general range for a month or two. Quitting smoking is already paying dividends!
I'm amazed at how much time I pick up in my morning routine by not having a couple of smokes. I'm out the door and in the office 15-20 minutes earlier than normal.
It turns out to be surprisingly easy not to smoke during the day...since my worked implemented a 'smoke free' campus policy, I'm already used to not smoking during the day (I usually run out for one at lunchtime), and couple this with the fact that I don't smoke in my car or my house, not smoking during the workday really isn't that bad. It's a little tough not to smoke after returning home in the evening but I left myself enough daily calories to have a really big dinner and that keeps me satisfied until bedtime.
Irritability is running high. I snapped at my wife and the dogs a couple of times and felt really bad afterwards. I must remember to take a few deep breaths in the future.
Days 4, 5, and 6 (today):
I'm officially nicotine free! I have a three-day meeting to attend in the city and I realized that this is the first time in a long time that I'm not panicked about trying to squeeze in one more cigarette before getting on the train, nor am I panicked about figuring out how/where/when to smoke during the meeting itself or about how difficult it will be to get outside for a smoke from my hotel room. I never before realized how hard it is to actually be a smoker since pretty much all public places have gone smoke free.
Oddly enough...the meeting location was a 15 minute walk from the train station and a 30 minute walk from my hotel. Between walking to the meeting location/hotel, and walking a few blocks in the evening to get some dinner, I literally passed only 2 smokers. Public health efforts to stem smoking really seem to have worked.
I caught a ride from the meeting to the hotel in the evening of day 4 and it turns out my co-worker was a smoker. He fired one up before we got into the car and being around a smoker didn't seem to impact my resolve at all.
What I think was helpful was the fact that as my co-worker was smoking, he talked about how much he actually hates smoking. I felt exactly the same way as a smoker and it made me proud/happy to know that I did something about it. I never realized how self-loathing I was as a smoker.
A little surprisingly, my cravings are still pretty consistent and strong. I'm dealing with them but I honestly thought they would have quieted down a little by now. Basically, I feel like I want a cigarette all of the time. I must stay focused as I can see how a relapse would be so easy.
On the plus side, I actually had a solid hour or so yesterday when I didn't think about cigarettes at all and I have found myself forgetting about my desire for a cigarette a little more frequently each day.
If I get through tomorrow, I'll be one week smoke free.
Although technically I know that there's zero nicotine left in my system, I still feel just as addicted to cigarettes today as I did before I started my quit effort. It's getting easier to deal with but I can still feel that smoke hitting my lungs and the buzz of nicotine hitting my bloodstream.
They say that cravings tend to last for two weeks or so but that I should see cravings really start to subside after the first week. I really hope it's true since I'm not sure if I can hold out against this feeling of constant need forever. Cigarettes truly are the devil.
Updates will come when merited...wish me luck!
6
Replies
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Good luck to you!! After smoking for 35 yrs, I quit for good 10 yrs ago with Chantix.
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Nice work! I quit in August and it is tough juggling it with weight loss but giving yourself an extra 10 lb cushion should help. Keep up the good work0
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Today will be Day 10 of no smoking. To be honest, I don't think I'm in danger of relapse but I honestly cannot say that resisting the urge to smoke is much easier today than it was on day 1.
While I guess it would be fair to say that the cravings themselves are less intense, I'm also very mentally fatigued from this whole thing and my focus and vigilance are on the wane. Even though the cravings aren't as acute, they are fairly constant. It's been extremely draining having to fight them practically every waking hour. It's surprising how natural it still feels to expect a cigarette.
Since there's only so much willpower to go around, I've been eating a lot more since I quit. It's a little too soon to see the trend in my weight, but I'd guess that I put on about a pound over the past 9 days despite running 30+ miles over the same period. I am constantly hungry and haven't had much interest in monitoring my calories too closely.
I've read that my appetite should return to normal over the next few weeks but I will eventually have to get myself back into maintenance. I'm not too worried about shedding what I put on since I gave myself some runway with my weight but I do have to get this under control once the cigarette cravings die down a bit.
I also have to buy stock in the Wrigley company because I've been going through their gum like a fiend. I've actually started fixating on my gum as a replacement for my pack of cigarettes. I've found myself panicking a bit when I don't have my gum with me. I'm trying to break myself of this kind of thinking sooner rather than later...no need to create another 'addiction' no matter how benign it might be and it's a relatively meaningless mental crutch anyway.
To sum...day 10 and I'm doing OK thus far. The first week of quitting was a bit easier than I expected but I really do worry that week 2 will be much harder than I thought it would be. Cravings are much stronger than I thought they would be at this point and it's a challenge to stay constantly focused on resisting the urge to smoke.
I have a sneaking feeling that nobody talks about how hard week 2 is because the truth would probably demotivate a lot of people from quitting.4 -
I quit 85 days ago after a 40+ a day habit for 15 years. Straight up... i still have the odd craving here and there and there have been many times where i could have brought a pack and started again but i havent and i wont. The cravings hang around but you just dont pick up another smoke. Ive put on roughly 8 kg since quitting but ive also been recovering from surgery so not my usual exercise regime. I wish you all the best with your journey.0
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Very inspiring0
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Best of luck to you sounds like your doing great!especially cold turkey may seem hard in the beginning but at least you don't have to wean yourself any other nictotine replacements. I quit in April (have quit multiple times) and its the best feeling ever I hope I never go back.0
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I quit for good in September of 2005, the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. It's hard to believe that I once smoked a pack a day. I just stopped that day, and never had another one. I don't think anyone ever regrets the decision to quit smoking. You feel so much better! The best advice I got when about quitting....the craving to smoke will pass whether you give into it or not. I think this applies to overeating as well. The craving will eventually pass whether you indulge it or not.1
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Wow. Congratulations ! You are doing awesome. Hang in there. You will love not smoking! You will love not being a slave to cigarettes ! Keep on running! Keep up the great work!0
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You're doing fantastic! I smoked for about 25 years myself and quit cold turkey in 2014. I found that my cravings all but disappeared after the second week. I agree, you have to have a reason that is important to you to really succeed. Anytime that a craving sneaks into your head, shift your thoughts from the craving to the reason for quitting. This is actually a lot easier to do than you think. You can do it! Hang in there and remember, this is for your unborn child!1
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I've read that my appetite should return to normal over the next few weeks but I will eventually have to get myself back into maintenance. I'm not too worried about shedding what I put on since I gave myself some runway with my weight but I do have to get this under control once the cigarette cravings die down a bit.
This is highly dependent on the individual. In my quit group there were people who only spiked an appetite for a couple weeks, it's true. I overate for months and gained almost 50 lbs in seven months. I wish I'd had the foresight to watch my calories and eat low calorie foods instead of cans of macadamia nuts and whole large pizzas at a time. Sometimes at the same time. But I was in the "whatever it takes to stay quit" mode as I went into it knowing I only had this one last try in me.
Then again, I also had horrible quit rage for over a year, too.
So, yeah. Highly individualistic.
One day at a time. 10+ years quit of all tobacco now and almost never a day goes by where I don't think or dream about it. Which is why I am 10+ years quit. Never forget.
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