Self Esteem

ChemEgirl333

I am supposed to go to a work holiday party tonight. Everything dress I put on I feel disgusting and think how everyone will think I am extremely fat. I feel more vulnerable in a dress. How do you make yourself get out of that mindset and be comfortable with your body?

Momepro

Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.
-Tyrion Lannister

Yoyoghurt

Something to remember is that most people will have their own concerns and may even have the exact same worries as you or some that are very similar to yours. Regardless of objective facts - they may think they are thin, fat, old, not pretty enough, have troubled skin, are not smart enough, not interesting, no one likes them etc.

Decide that you are as you are, and you are going to go out and do your best to enjoy yourself. Try keeping an eye out for anyone looking uncomfortable or standing by themselves and go over and start a conversation with them. Introduce them to at least 2 other people.

Don’t self obsess - catch yourself and say ‘enough! - I’m here to enjoy myself and help others enjoy themselves at this party!’

Also do you really have to wear a dress? If so you can always take something to drape over it eg a silk shawl...or one of those popular kimono things ... if not... wear pants!

MISSNYA92

ChemEgirl333 wrote: »

I am supposed to go to a work holiday party tonight. Everything dress I put on I feel disgusting and think how everyone will think I am extremely fat. I feel more vulnerable in a dress. How do you make yourself get out of that mindset and be comfortable with your body?

I wear a uniform. ALWAYS.
I used to have a TON of clothes, but I’m tired of fighting, so I decided that I will always look stylish no matter what because I always wear the same thing.

First of all, I don’t have a big budget, but I like to look expensive, so most of my clothes are basics in neutrals or pseudo-neutrals. (Black, grey, tan, cream, navy, denim, khaki, chambray, leopard print, blush, taupe, olive green... and occasionally burgundy)

Next, I know my body shape. Since I’m a true pear shape with a relatively small waist and no boobs, my goal is to accent my waist. I can also wear lower cut and lingerie inspired tops without being vulgar. This is what makes me feel sexy. I save those things for special occasions. No matter what though, my waist is boss. Always.
For me, high waist bottoms are most flattering because they draw attention to my narrowest place. I also prefer a V neck, turtleneck, or button up. A-line shapes are best.

I buy the same thing a million ways.
Around the house, my uniform is a tiny slip dress and a short robe, or booty shorts and a camisole. All other pajamas are trashed. Knee socks and above the knee socks are fine. Wrap sweaters and long cardigans are an acceptable alternative to a robe. I also throw out underwear if they’re unacceptable to be seen in public. Doing these small things makes me feel like a babe even when I’m drinking out of the carton. I like catching glimpses of myself as I clean or do laundry or whatever.

For running errands, I wear leggings or harem pants depending on how cute I feel that day, converse, and a jean jacket. Lipstick and mascara are part of the uniform for being seen in public.

I have two pairs of jeans for work. Both fit really well. I never have to stress what I’m going to wear because I gave myself a uniform. If I want to look special, I switch between 5 pairs of earrings, three hairstyles, and 3 shades of lipstick.

For church, I wear a volunteer shirt and either a maxi skirt, harem pants, or chino skirt. I decided to give myself a uniform there, so I can focus on what really matters. Also, I’m guaranteed to actually help in some capacity if I wear the shirt. There has yet to be a Sunday where someone didn’t need assistance greeting, praying, setting up, passing offering buckets, etc. this uniform says “I’m here to help”!

I have 4 wrap dresses for interviews, cocktail parties, and impromptu occasions I don’t know the dress code for. The wrap is adjustable, so they will ALWAYS fit

TavistockToad

ChemEgirl333 wrote: »

I am supposed to go to a work holiday party tonight. Everything dress I put on I feel disgusting and think how everyone will think I am extremely fat. I feel more vulnerable in a dress. How do you make yourself get out of that mindset and be comfortable with your body?

So don't wear a dress...

MISSNYA92

I wrote you a book, but it didn’t fit... sorry! The good stuff got left out, but basically, if you need help finding ideas, I can help you.
The trick is to feel good inside. There are things about you that are AWESOME that you’re ignoring to focus on things you think are less awesome. It’s a trap.
Wear what makes you feel most sexy and feminine. Play some booty shaking music before you go out, to get you in the mood. You’ll have more fun if you’re less fancy, but really comfortable and confident.

ChemEgirl333

Thanks for the uplift everyone! I made it to the party in a skirt and nice top for the party, I just had to keep telling myself over and over again that I enough. It’s hard to do when you are so self critical, but it got easier as the night went on.

tlsb2016

Good for you! Celebrate that you went and ended up making it through the night! This is a HUGE victory and the more you celebrate yourself, the more you will chase away the self-critical demons. I speak from experience.